Xanous' Dream Journal

#479 - DILD - 7:38AM

I've had a little bit of a dry spell lately with work being so crazy so it was nice to get to sleep in today and get a solid LD. Dry spells suck! It's weird that my old bathroom dream sign brings me lucidity once again.

I notice that peeing doesn't relieve my need to go so I lucidly try to make my son fly then I play with breaking glass.

A have a somewhat vague memory of a DEILD or in-dream-WILD. I feel my body is dream-like and I relax, letting myself merge into that familiar other. I have a hard time separating then spend a few moments wondering around the house I am in. My memory fades....

I am wandering around work with my son worried about some prophecy that I am "TO DO GREAT THINGS". I worry that I am not up to the task and that I am just a regular guy. I walk along the walkway and move into the bathroom. I have to pee really bad, but when I pee at the urinal my need doesn't go away. I try again and pee just as much. I recall having a non lucid dream earlier in the night about weird pee situations (truth) and think this must be the same type of dream. I am already lucid now, but I do a nose plug just to be sure. Yep. I leave the bathroom and rejoin my son.

There is a catwalk about the main production area with offices and cubical that open to the area. I toss my son up there hoping he will start flying around the shop. As I toss him up I shout, "HEY YOU CAN FLY!" He just lands on the up level. I rush up stairs and find him just sitting there. I say, "Common. You can fly. Just do it." I trow him up again, but he just lands hard and seems like he is in some vegetative state. The sight of him like that is disturbing so I move on.

I quickly recall my goal to make glass break control the shards with mind power. I rush to the break-room where I know there is a large glass window. I am happy to be at work because this is actually how I got the idea for this task. I stare at the window and it cracks all over but doesn't fall out. I make hand motions and point for the shards to fly out but the don't. I stand more directly in front of the broken glass and force it to fly out. I see a million tiny shards of glass float all around me like snow. It's all I can see for a moment then it fades away to the window still intact, but still shattered. I don't get annoyed, but play with it another way by forcing my face into it. The glass resists and stretches way out until I phase through. Instead of being in the break-room I am now in some small area with a door leading outside. I heard a voice and knocking. I say, "Who's there?"
The voice replies, "Steve, Mary, Sam, I mean, Samantha."
The voice seems to be a liar and I don't trust it. I sense something ominous there. I say, "Well, you're not coming it. You're never coming in." I turn away and begin walking when I wake up.

AND GO PEE FOR REAL

I WBTB at 2:30AM and took 8MG Galantamine and 400MG DMAE. I kept the WBTB brief.

#399 - DILD - 5:18AM

I am what I think of as my my moms sister's house, Aunt Paula. I wake up and have to pee. I know I was trying to get lucid but I think I should take care of this. The bathroom has a strange looking toilet made of maroon colored plastic. When I open the lid something breaks and water spills all over the floor. My uncle comes in upset about the mess. He looks over the toilet and says something dismissive and leaves. I am in shock and recall this as a dream sign. I look left past the sink and see a white porcelain toilet has appeared. I become lucid at this, though I still feel the need to pee. I consider it but I now know that it's pointless and don't want to think what might happen if I try.

I walk back into the main room while I try to recall my goal. I say out loud, "I have a goal." I just can't remember. For some reason I think I wanted to summon some sort of evil magic. No that can't be right. I start to feel mild fear but I keep my emotions in check. However, it doesn't stop the evil from manifesting itself. I see movement around me. There behind red curtains. A child? The curtains part and I see a grotesquely rotted face of a demonic child. I hissed at me then into a wispy ghost and vanishes into vapor. Multiple copies of these demonic ghost children appear all around me but the moment I try to focus on them they turn to vapor and streak around. I keep my emotion level and don't allow this to turn into a nightmare. I'm actually happy this is happening. I haven't had much of a creep factor in a long time. The dream collapses here and I wake into SP.

I am on my right side and I feel really uncomfortable. My knees are touching in a way that hurts and I am really hot. I try to move but can't. I notice vibrations. I want to wake up so I open my eyes but I see the room too bright and ghostly figures. I wonder if I have even woke up. I consider holding my breath to wake up but I don't want to break the dream just yet. With great effort, I manage to roll over and remove some of the blanket. I feel better but I also notice the vibrations haven't stopped. I doubt that I have actually moved, but the effect was the same. I try opening my eyes again to see if I actually see the room. I can see the moonlight from the window and decide to try moving my hands. There is a ghostly image of me shaking my hands in front of my face. Again I doubt that I am even really seeing my room and as I watch my body releases and I am dumped out of bed. I go blind again and feel my way into the living room noticing what my hands and feet touch with great detail. I pause for a moment and try summoning a woman like in a recent LD, but it doesn't happen and I really don't want to go there anyway.

I am at the front door now still trying to see but all I get is random images like heavy hypnagogic imagery. I decide that I am trying too hard to see. I relax a bit and forget about the problem. I focus on feeling the detail of the front door as I try to see what I am touching. The images vanish to black, then suddenly, I see. I am looking out the glass storm-door into a version of my front yard. Excited, I quickly rush out. My vision becomes blurry as if I am underwater. I notice it is raining. My yard doesn't end at a street but seems to continue into a wooden area. The closer I get to the edge of the yard the more the dream area seems to stop there until there is a definite cut off into black void. I stop and turn back. There are some unfamiliar cars in the drive way under a carport. My house look unfamiliar. I fall to my hands and knees and feel the grass to stabilize. I try to feel the rain but there is very little sensation. I know I had a goal but I still can't remember. I shout very loud, "I HAVE A GOAL!" I can't think. All I recall is that same summoning-evil-thought. No. Not again. I let that go. After a moment I realize that I am trying too hard again. I relax my mind and body and decide to forget about my goal. I don't worry about losing lucidity here as I feel mentally solid and locked in. I get up and find a car in the spot I was crawling around. Some blue sedan. My vision is still odd as I feel for a door handle. I'm really not keen on going for a drive but if this is all I get I'll go for it. Just as I am about to open the door I see a tiny gray kitten come up to me. It has a tiny meow and sounds like it's in distress or really hungry. I pickup the kitten and say, "Oh poor little kitty. You're hungry aren't you?" I put it up to my chest and chin and give it a little hug. I decide it would be cool to get the cat to talk so I begin talking to it, asking it if it is hungry. It meows but I am persistent and tell it that I want to hear words. Finally, I hear a little girl voice say that it is very hungry. I need to get her inside and feed her.

Just inside the front door there is an open room with someone in a bed. The light is on and everything is very vivid. Curious I go in with the kitty in my arms. I say in a weak voice, "Who are you?' The figure stirs and seems to wake up. I see her face. She looks like an odd and young version of my dead grandmother (Nanny). I don't want to admit this because I am getting a very strange vibe from her. I recall that normally I am excited when she visits my dreams but something is different here. I say in a much stronger voice, "Who are you?"
She sits up now, "I am not whole."
I feel really uncomfortable now, "O... Ok."
She looks at me intently and asks expectantly, "Who do I look like?"
I tell her the answer she wants by saying my grandmothers full name.
The woman stands up and laughs, "Ha ha... yes!"
I say, "But, you are different." I don't like this woman and try to dismiss her, "Ok. Well, I am going now." I take kitty with me to the kitchen table and sit her down. I decide to treat her more like a human and let her eat here. The strange woman has followed me and sits down in a dining chair. I decide to pay her little attention and let her do whatever. I leave the kitten with her and walk into the kitchen where the cat food bin is. There is some instability here and decide I don't need to actually get the food. I blind summon a the food scoop and make a motion with my hand like I getting cat food. As I walk back to the table I have a small amount of cat food in the scoop. I pour it out on the table and kitty starts to eat ravenously. I notice she is having a hard time biting the hard food and I say something to the woman about this. When I look at her, her face has changed again. She still looks like a version of my grandmother but has become younger and very pretty. I being to have some arousal but think this is way too weird to have any sort of fun with her. I look back kitty and she quickly runs under the table as if she is now afraid. I comment about her strange behavior as I wake up.

1) some sort of quest. I am at work. I talk to Michelle and Joyce. Something about my daughters. I inspect a crimp termination.

2) I am in a bathroom stall. The toilet over flows when I flush. Shit water to my waist. My wife tries to help but I send her out.

# Why am I dreaming so much about shit and bad bathroom experiences? I vow to RC every time I go!

Aids:1/8 tea peppermint oil WBTB
Methods:MILD - Half assed
Morning Supplements:500mg L-Lysine, 500mg C, 595mg Potassium Gluconcate, 1 Super B-Complex
Sleep Quality: Felt refreshed in the morning. Slept solid. Solved pillow issues.

Trying to LD 2:00AM
I am jogging down a familiar street. I see Jeremy and Becki. I invite them over. We are now in my house. But this is my first house. Jeremy talks about how he can tell me how many ghost are here. I tell him I don't want to know. I feel happy and safe here and I don't want to ruin it.

Then I am in my first truck. I am in the passenger side trying to sleep. My wife is in the driver side sleeping but tossing and its bothering me. I am trying to WBTB. I have an audio induction and I want to hear it. I adjust my headphones and try to sleep. I couldn't help but notice that my headphones feel like underwear on my head. Then notice that is light outside and rainy. I see Chris driving up to her daughters house who happens to be my neighbor. I am a little surprised. I hope that she doesn't notice me and my underwear. She is all but starting at me now. I just sigh and close my eyes. All I want to do is have a lucid dream and If I have to do corny things like listen to my underwear then who cares. I actually hear some music. It is a Ke$ha song believe it or not.

*I hear the intro music*

"Maybe I need some rehab,
Or maybe just need some sleep
I've got a sick obsession,
I'm seeing it in my dreams"....

(Very appropriate! Except Lucid Dreams is my drug. Bahahahaha LOL)

I feel irritated and tune the music out. I feel like I am being watched and I just want privacy. The truck drives around the block. I don't notice it but I am driving it with my mind. My wife is in the driver seat but I am controlling where to go. Then I remember we left the kids in the house alone. And I think we should hurry even though we are just going around the block. I look out the window to the right and see a distorted iPhone. It says Brooklyn on it. The woman in the truck with me is now my ex-wife and she starts bitching about how much money she spent on that phone for my niece and now its ruined.

Now I am in a bed trying to WILD. Something wakes me and I look to the left and see my sisters husband with a bed pan under him. He is squirting shit through his clothes.
I say, "OH GOD! YOU NASTY FUCKER! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?"
He jumps us and runs to the bathroom. He slams the bed pan on the floor and I see chunky shit splatter up on the wall. There is shit on the bed. I am disgusted but I feel sorry for him at the same time. I know he is sick and can't help it. Then my dog goes sniffing at it. I grab her too me and hold her. I lay there not wanting to deal with the mess. I half expect to smell something horrid but there's no smell. I close my eyes and wake up.

I Don't Want to Die!
My wife and I are in a hotel. She is not pregnant and we are partying. We are drinking and she starts to smoke pot. I am shocked but I'm like well we don't do this often. She leaves the bong on the couch and my dog daisy starts to hit it. She runs through an open door into a yard. Then she howls as she ex-hails. I find it strange that I see really black smoke come out. I am surprised at the color of smoke but I just laugh. She is trying to get more. I hand the bong to my wife who is in the recliner watching TV. Then I say wait let me. I take a long drag. I notice that there is no smell no burring in my throat and no taste. Then I ex hail. I instantly feel fucked up. I make a comment about how fast that hit me. She says she knows.

I leave the room for some errand. I walk outside and see a nice area with a pool. There are only a few people. I jump in and then leave.

I go inside a bar and walk through to the bathroom. I notice a bartender and a dart board in my periphrial vision. I sit down to shit in a stale but the toilet is so high people can see me. Some take notice and just sigh and finish up. When I walk out of the bathroom I am now in a church and service is about to start. I take in the whole scene. I notice people to my left conversing and greeting. I see a crown scattered about and people in various conversation. I see all the pews and the stage up front. The stage is blurry and I dont focus on it too much. I see another bathroom down a ways and too the right. For whatever reason I walk to that. I walk past the womens and enter the mens. It is dimly lit and there is one toilet on the right and a sink on the left back wall. The entire right wall is glass. I can see through into the womens bathroom. The bathroom is identical to the mens and I see a large woman pulling her pants down and sitting on the toilet. It seems that she cant see me and it think it must be a two way mirror. I try to respect her privacy and advert my eyes and quickly leave the restroom.

Then I am in an elevator. The interior is minimalistic, plush and cream color. (now that I think about it... like a casket!) I push a button. The elevator begins to malfunction. I feel it tilt back and get smaller. I an now lying at an incline. I push some other button. Then it compacts into a ceiling with metal beams. I hit the stop button. I am so stuck I can't move.

I quickly WILD to have an OBE to go get help. I see a lady at a desk. I tell her my body is stuck in an elevator and I need to get it out before I die. I move out of my body. It feels so natural and familiar to do this. I go through the wall and see a lady at a help desk. She is an African American woman in a red blose. I quickly explain to her that my body is trapped. She tells me a bunch of instructions. I dont remember. Maybe I am still stoned?

I go now to do whatever it is she told me. I am now walking through the spot where the pool is. I see a lot more people there and I don't bother to take a dip this time. I walk to a concrete walk and spot an elevator door. I feel that this is where my dying body is. I pry the door open with my hands. There are more doors behind the first. They are red with purple trim. I get through a total of four doors and my body slips out. I catch... me. My body is limp and cold. I find it very odd to touch my body from outside of myself. I drop... me. And I try to use my mind to enter back into my body. It does not work. I am getting panicky.

I scream, "I don't want to die!"

I lay down next to myself and try whatever I did to exit now to re-enter. Nothing is working. I look to my right at myself and see a hand with a respirator to my body's face. I see hands doing chest compressions. I am still not back in my body. The light fades and everything goes dark.


*Holy Shit. I think I will avoid elevators for a while.

Another Lego Dream
I woke up with the words solid gold in my mind. I everything looked like the real world but I could break it like lego and lego studs came out.

Shitty Bathroom
I was in a hospital trying to take a shower in a bathroom with shit all over. I thought about leaving but I was determined no matter how long it too. I had a shower head and was trying to put it on the sink. Nothing worked right

Paper is Illegal

I was in a medieval setting. I was posing as a city guard. Someone kept sending me paper messages. I had to crumpled it up and put it in my pockets for later. A woman heard the paper noise and said "I thought paper was illegal." I told her that I confiscated it.