Xanous' Dream Journal

#460 - DEILD - 4:41AM

Had my usual for caffeine WBTB at 330am. My son made sleeping diffcult and I was forced to move to the couch. I fell asleep doing breathing meditation

I partly wake in the halfway state and slip out of body. I float in the room for a second the move out the door. Its too dark to do much but the porch light lets me see a little. I get confused and think my foal is to talk to an object and I find a plastic bottle of water. I tell it to talk to me but suddenly remeber this is the old task. i squeeze the bottle and watch the strange dream water shoot out. I wake slightly.

I maintain consentration and slip back out. I float in the room for a bit enjoying being wieghtless. Then wake again

One more I continue the DEILD chain and fall the the floor. its dark again and I crawl around until my head hits a table leg. I have my orientation now and I reach for the light switch expecting it to work. It does but the light is still dim. I look around the room and my cats are going crazy running around the room. There seems to be Christmas decorations hanging from the ceiling but when I look directly at them they vanish. I now recall the fishing goal and decide there can be a pond in the house. I look around expectantly but I find no water. I can feel my fish pole in my hand ready to be blind summoned. I move furniture around and even pull the couches out but its just not happening. I quickly wake up.

#409 - DIELD - 6:06AM

I have a long and confusing dream about sleeping at my parents old house. The time keeps changing and I worry about getting up for work on time. The early details aren't important, but my parents eventually tell me they are leaving to go to a tomato festival. They leave my room and I lay there for a moment. Suddenly, I hear a terrible scream and cats fighting. I rush to the top of the stairs and see my cats running out of a bedroom at the bottom with tails fluffed out.

I wake slightly and relax back into the dream. I am the stairs again and I go down to the room at the bottom. It's dark in there and I feel like something evil is hiding in the room. I spend some time calling out whatever monster may be lurking with various forms of profanity, but nothing happens. Then, I fearfully reach into the room and try the light switch, but, of course, that doesn't work either. I decide this is all stupid and leave out the back door. As I step out, the cats rush past me into the yard. This makes me worry that something is following me so I turn and walk backwards a while. Thankfully, nothing is there. The house seems extra dark now that I am standing in full sunlight and I turn to have a look at the dream environment. The colors of the trees are a extra vivid and bright green, but also very dream like and blurry at the edges of my vision. I feel awe and peace and this makes me want to fly up into the sky. Before I can do anything else, I suddenly wake without warning.

#203 - 4:24AM - WILD/DEILD

I wake from some dream. It feels like nothing but hypnagogia. I roll to my left and take a peek at the clock and see it's 4:02AM. I decide to do breathing meditation. After some time I see a lot of hypnagogia and my body feels different. I focus on relaxing my body more and it starts to feel like jell-o. Suddenly I get strong vibes.

I try rolling but nothing really happens. It feels a little like I am spinning but not very vivid. I can't "get out of bed" so I just visualize walking in the living room and am very pleased when I see the dream slowly turn "on" like a dimmer switch on a light. I take a few steps in the living room and become annoyed by the feel of something like a hood on my head. It starts to obstruct my vision and instead of fighting it, I just ignore it by rubbing my hands and then feeling the floor.

My vision clears up and I see my cats near me. I reach out to pet them but they dart away from me. There is a third cat that I don't have in waking life and I reach out to pet it as well but it shies away like the others. Finally I reach out a littler faster and more determined and grab Stella. She tries to get away at first and then yields like she finally recognizes me. As I pet her I try to remember my goals but as hard as I might try nothing comes to mind. I decide to just enjoy the moment and let it go. I soon wake up.

I lay still recalling the dream. Suddenly I remember that I wanted to find my guru in the dream. I have been reading a lot of Dream Yoga material and like the idea of getting wisdom from my higher self. I decide at that point to go ahead and try to DEILD. I totally relax my body now and get vibrations straight away.

I wait a moment and let the vibes intensify and then fade a little. Instead trying to move I just tell myself there is someone at the front door. I think about opening it and the dream materializes once again. For some reason I feel like I am losing lucidity and I remind myself to be aware. As I try to open the door I think I have to unlock it first. The dead bolt isn't working right and I remind myself how silly this is. I stop messing with the lock and just open the door.

The air outside feels cold on my bare skin. I feel embarrassed by the idea that I am just in my underwear. I decide to let that go and step into the yard. I look up to call out to the dream. The sky has a partial moon obscured by clouds. I call out, "Where is my guru? Guru, come here!"

A helicopter roars by and then hovers above me some at a normal distance in the sky. As I watch it, it morphs and distorts. I am not amused. This is pretty normal for my dreams. Then, I hear a car drive behind me in the street. I turn to look but only catch the tail lights as it blurs past.

I call out the dream again, "Rinpoche! Can you please come to me?" Something makes me want to look down the street to my right. At the end of the block, there is a shadowed figure of a man standing motionless under the yellow glow of a street lamp. He is just looking at me. This not that creepy as first so I smile and motion him to come to me. The begins slowly walking and I think faster. Suddenly, his movement blurs a little then blinks out and reappears much closer all in an instant. The look of it is a little creepy and like a horror film. As I fight the instinct to be afraid and run, he zoom walks like this several times until he is standing before me. (Thinking about his after the fact, isn't this how we all move in the dreamscape without realizing it?)

Now I see his face. I am surprised that he is a clean cut dark completed Italian man who looks a lot (but not exactly) like Shia Labeouf. The very non-Tibetan-Buddhist looking man promptly sticks out a hand and says his name is "Dolce" (dōl'chā'). I shake his hand and before I can speak he says, "You are Straight.
I am confused by this and dumbly say, "My name is Straight. OK. And you said you are Dol...?"
"Dolce."
"Dolc?" I repeat this over and over in my mind to remember. I also note his strange manner of speaking. He sounds a little like he is from the Bronx but also very foreign. (I had never heard of Dolce that I can recall until now and I didn't know it was an Italian word at the time.) I also note he is wearing blue jeans and a gray hoodie, hood up.
He nods at me and says, "I like how you were all like..." and makes a mocking gesture with his hands that I don't really understand. With out a moments pause he continues to ramble about being concerned for his family. He wants to know how they are doing. He asks about his sister and mother and...
I interrupt him, "Can you just tell me something wise? I really don't have much t..."
Now he cuts me off "In a moment." Now, he begins pacing back and forth seeming preoccupied with something.
I let out a quiet. "Oh my God." as I realize that this is not going to happen. He continues talking so fast that it begins to sound like gibberish to me. I begin to have to fight to stay focused on the dream and in a few moments I wake up saying to myself REMEMBER

WBTB Mugwort
MILD

I got to sleep in the recliner and dream about my cats running around and jumping. Sputnik keeps jumping on top of the ledge about the front door, hanging there for a bit and then jumping down to the floor with a thud. I watch for a bit from the recliner and then I remember.

I instantly get vibrations and see a bright white light then dark. The vibrations are week and intermittent. I wait unsure if I am in the dream or not. Then I remember I was already dreaming before. I get up and go outside. I sort of half open the door and half phase through. The door was forgotten.

If feel a brief cold and then a smell like rain. I find that odd for a dream. I can see fine and the world seems solid but I feel like I need to stabilize. I think about liking the sidewalk again. This time I but my hands in some dirt and feel it. It looks more like potting soil. This is were things get ultra real.

I hear some rock music with heavy drums. I look around and the neighborhood looks convincingly real. I seriously wonder if I was sleep walking/dreaming like I used to do as a child. I become really worried and self-conscious. I look across the street toward the direction of the music. It seems like it is the house directly across from me. I try to see who is over there but my vision gets blurry. Then the dream sort of folds in on itself and my awareness shifts to my physical body. I think about DEILD but it doesn't come right away so I think I better enter into my DJ.