Threecat's Dreamtime

I wake around 4:30 and induce. I am with my father on his porch. Suddenly, a Winnebago pulls up to the porch, and some guys get out and begin stripping his tomato plants of fruit. Then then get into the camper and drive off. I run out into the driveway to record a tag number. The tag has been removed, but their "camper tag," which is as large as a billboard, has the tag number (can't remember it now). I run back and tell my dad I have the number. I recite it once incorrectly, then correct myself. We get into his truck and give chase.

While driving, he is not paying attention. A woman's car, pulling a trailer behind her, is sitting in the road. My father smashes into her, knocking her little car out of the way. I think this is hilarious in the dream and laugh. My dad looks at me.

"Do you remember who I am?" he ask.

"Of course," I say. "You're my dad."

He nods, as though he is satisfied. "Son, you're dreaming this dream."

I turn around to look behind us at the wreckage, and realize that this is a very odd scenario to be in. I nose pinch. Can't breath entirely, but can breathe somewhat. Am worried about leaping from the vehicle if it really isn't a dream.Can't remember how I prove it to myself, but the next thing I know I am waving goodbye to my dad, telling him to be careful. I then leap from the vehicle. I try flying a bit, and can't, so I settle on climbing a tree near me. It is basically just a tall, bent over trunk, with no branches. I wrap my arms around it and lift myself into the air. It is hard work (harder than it should be!) but I am able to climb much better than in real life. I get a pretty good distance up befor dropping to the ground. The dream begins to fade, so I strip off my gloves (wtf) and begin rubbing my hands against the asphalt to stabilize. Oops, the dream is fading out anyway.

I "wake up," and am reading FryingMan's DJ. It is interactive, and the POV (1st, 2nd, 3rd) begins changing to indicate whether or not he was lucid. For some reason, this makes me think that perhaps I have not woken up at all, but am still dreaming. I nose pinch.Lucid. However, something catches my eyeand I lose lucidity before finallywaking up.

After a short WBTB with wife (it's about 7 when I get up), I induce and return to sleep. Long semi-lucid. A psychiatrist is talking to me about my dreams, and investigating my dream recall and lucidity. She slowly turns into a very cute psychiatrist wearing glasses. She is mostly naked, and is arching her back very provocatively. For some reason I don't jump on her, but the dream continues. Next thing I know, I am in a boat house and being assailed by faceless men with boners. Yep. I have a pole-axe type weapon, and am fending them off. However, during the dream I have the distinct impression that none of this is real at all. I jump around the building, avoiding the water in the center, and chopping people up as I go. Don't catch me, you dicks!

I manage to climb outside onto the roof of the boathouse. The roof is flimsy and made of plastic, and I feel that I might collapse it easily, or that it might topple over as I move towards the edge. I know if I can just jump into this water, I'll be OK. I leap in. The water feels amazingly real, and but it is totally dark beneath. I suddenly think, "It's a dream!" and open my WL eyes.I can see the room barely, and can also see my sleep mask, so am satisfied. I close my eyes and lie still. Eventually, my dream hands and arms settle back beside me, and another dream begins: some stage curtain draws back to reveal a cartoon singing chicken. The chicken is singing to itself. I watch, waiting for the dream to fully settle. Unfortunately, something distracts me and I wake up.

Wake from an NLD. I lie still and wait to DEILD. Body begins to roll to the side, which signals beginning of REM sleep. I roll off of the mat and fall through space. Eyes flicker open somewhat, and I can see stars in a black sky. I accidentally open my WL eyes, though, because I can suddenly see light streaming in from beneath my sleep mask. I close them and wait for my "dream eyes" to open on their own. They do, and I see I am flying swiftly over a dark, deep purple ocean. The stars are still out. I can feel the wind on my face. Ahead of me, on the horizon, a white number one appears.

Memory is fuzzy here. Certain I did not lose consciousness, but unsure of how narrative unfolded entirely. I land down in the water, and there is some sort of game being played by a bunch of DCs. I try to persuade one of them that she is strong enough to lift me up and throw me out of the water. She says she is not. "Oh come on," I say. "Look at those triceps!" She laughs and tries to throw me. She just sort of pushed me out of the water. She says she can't. "But really," I say, "You can." I'm trying to get the dream to bend to my will a bit! She tries again (and throws me a bit higher) and reiterates that she can't do it.

I mess around for a bit more (can't remember what I was doing--interacting with DCs, asking questions and what not, and I specifically remember rubbing my hands to stabilize--and then it occurs to me to complete the tasks of the month. I think about what the tasks are, and remember the leaf task. I am in a back yard. I begin thinking I will materialize the leaves by pretending they are on the other side of a wooden fence. I say, "You're around this fence!" and run around the fence. I briefly see the outline of what looks like a pile of leaves, but then that pops out of existence. I try two more times, and nothing happens at all.

I run around for a bit, thinking I might find a pile of leaves somewhere. Nope. I then think to call for help on my phone, and pull it out of my pocket. I figure it will take too long to punch in the numbers though and toss it away. Instead, I head inside to get help from a DC.

Near me is a blond girl. She attempted to assist me earlier in the dream, but I rebuffed her because DCs are too unreliable. I now ask her if she knows where any leaves are. We go inside the house, and she nods and points to some storage boxes. One of them is black and I open it up. Inside there are only Christmas lights. "These are just Christmas lights," I say, and then get annoyed. This always happens. DCs always trick me and waste my time. I run out of the house. The DC runs after me, trying to get me to come back. I ignore her. Looking around, I see a bunch of leaves lying around on the grass. I think I might be able to rake them up, but then pull an Ophelia and scoop some up in my arms. Some of them are crackly, but others are rotten and gross. I make a very small pile. I look at it and decide I'm not jumping in that.

I try to think of the other basic. Oh yeah, tell a kid they are dreaming. I am on a path in the woods, and a jogger is coming towards me. She is a kid, maybe like a high school student, but I check just to be sure:

"How old are you?" I ask.

She stops running and faces me. "16."

"You're dreaming!" I say.

"If you don't shut up, I'm going to hit you," she says.

I back off, and she continues jogging.

I continue on the path until I find a small cabin/mobile home (don't ask) in the woods. Inside are some DCs. More conversation that I can't remember. However, I hear voices up inside a treehouse-like loft. They are discussing someone messing up their abilities to dream. I ascend the wooden ladder up, and see two people I know semi-well from WL. However, I understand that they are DCs and not their real selves. They are crouched over a dream journal. When they see me enter the room, the girl (it's a girl and a guy) moves to cover up the DJ so I can't read it.

"It's just me," I say. "The dreamer." They are smiling now in a mocking way. I sort of lose it here, and demand to know "why you guys (meaning DCs in general) always tease me?"

"Because we can," the girl responds.

"But lots of dreamers get help from their DCs. They teach them fun things like how to fly. You guys always try to trick me."

The girl now laughs and says, "You can't even fly."

I get mad and grab the guy in my fist. He instantly turns into a small, faceless rag doll. The transition was seamless and sort of shocked me. The girl disappeared altogether. I fling the doll down on the ground and leave.

Back in the house, I remember the advanced task--cut off your hand and serve it up for Thanksgiving dinner. I look around and see a half-eaten plate of food: there is some cornbread there and some other stuff I don't remember. I realize that if I hadn't scared the DCs away I could have served them my hand. I leave and begin running back to the first house (where I tried to complete the leaf task.

Once inside the original kitchen, I approach the block of knives. They all appear to be light, serrated blades, and I am not keen on sawing through my wrist. I am hoping for a cleaver, and find a small one, but it is not heavy enough. I finally settle on a knife that probably does not exist in WL, but resembles a butcher knife. I RC to make sure I am dreaming. I then (to be honest, fearing the pain) test the knife by slicing into my index finger. I don't feel anything, and think maybe I missed (lol). However, a line appear on my finger, and I start bleeding. The dream quickly fades and I wake up.

I am in high school again, and am walking to my bus after school. Already lucid, but not very much -- don't remember how I got there! I am walking with a short, chubby black kid. I have just done something not very nice (don't remember what) and think I need to make it up to this DC. I give the kid a big hug.

"What are you doing?" he asks in disgust.

C/R my response. I think of how I might win this DC over. I reach into my pocket, hoping for some candy. I find instead a toy from childhood:



I give this to the DC and tell him it is a chocolate bar (?) DC takes a bite and complains that it is not a chocolate bar, and that it is indeed a plastic toy. I take the toy back and try to morph it into a chocolate bar. It's outward appearance changes somewhat, but not enough to be food.

The DC then asks, "Is this that kind of candy that once I chew it, it becomes candy in my mouth?"

"Yeah, sure," I say, still searching through my pockets.

He begins eating it again.

"Oh my god," he cries, "It's glorious! It's like I'm flying through space on an imperial starship!"

I look down and see a piece of the action figure/candy on the ground. Yep, I pick it up and eat it. It tastes sweet but nothing spectacular. Definitely not flying through space. I wake up.