Mouka's Mind Palace

One:

I found myself lucid, but it was a bit unstable. I was rubbing my hands together to try to stabilize it, and I noticed my surroundings becoming more vivid... but I also noticed as I walked along the grass, I couldn't feel anything touching my feet, so I tried to focus on different sensations. Then I thought it would be fun to jump up into the sky and face downwards as I did it, instead of upwards like I usually do. It was pretty friggin terrifying seeing the ground fall away like that. The instability cut the dream short though.

Two:

I was in the car with my grandma and someone else, and it was raining. She was driving, and we raced over a bridge... she was going like 70 mph in heavy traffic and I was all GRANDMA SLOW DOWN JESUS. We were driving over a bridge when the traffic came to a gridlock, and the weather was getting worse.

Instead of sitting in traffic, we pulled into a Walgreens parking lot and went inside. I remember seeing weird decorations for holidays that didn't exist, and I was browsing the candy aisle. When we neared the register, we saw a bunch of customers standing around looking agitated. Apparently the employees locked us all in the store because the weather was so bad we couldn't leave, so we all just sort of sat around. There were a couple customers that kind of freaked me out, like I was afraid they were gonna shoot up the place or something.

Three:

This may have been a continuation of the last dream, but I can't recall how it began. I became lucid somehow, and I thought something like "Oh I remember I was jumping up in the sky and stuff earlier!" I stood out on a grassy area next to a lake and attempted to summon up Seru, but it didn't work. So I tried shooting off a Kamehameha, which also didn't work. I tried going Super Saiyan, but only managed to stand there screaming looking like a dumbass. At that point I was pretty pissed over my lack of dream control, and I thought "There's one thing I can ALWAYS do, and it's not fair..." so I reached up and swiped my finger along the sky, and I could move the clouds around and create star trails. The clouds flew by pretty fast, and it made me feel a little better about failing at the other shit.

I looked off across the lake and THOUGHT I saw Seru, it was like his silhouette or something. So I focused on this strange-looking tree trunk on the other side of the lake and jumped up... but instead of flying I fell like a stone right in the water. It kind of pissed me off... but I could breathe underwater apparently, so I swam to the other side of the lake and crawled out.

Seru was not there at all. Instead I was standing in some sort of ruins, like the ruins of some kind of shrine. There were statues of him in different sizes, some pristine and some broken and worn. I sprinted through the ruins, grabbing a few of the smaller statues, thinking they might have some kind of purpose, but... I still couldn't find him. You'd think he'd be hanging out in a shrine dedicated to himself, that seems right up his alley with his damn ego and all. But nooooo. I woke up before I made it through the entire shrine. He'll be getting an earful over that next time.

One:

I was riding along in my car with some other people, and Cory was driving. One of the passengers was my mom. We came along some traffic in Huntsville, near the intersection of South Memorial and Lily Flagg I think, and Cory was not slowing down fast enough to keep from hitting the car in front of us. I kept screaming "SLOW DOWN SERIOUSLY." and he was just all NAAAAAH, so I'm sitting there shotgun bracing myself, and sure enough he rams right into the car ahead of us. Which was some really tiny electric car thing, either blue or green.

The guy ahead of us pulled into a U-turn area and into the big parking lot where people park their used cars for sale, and I noticed his bumper was falling off. Cory was making no move to turn and go over there, so I say "What the hell? You can't just run away!" and he says "Yeah I can, people get hit all the time." I eventually convince him to turn, and we're all sitting in that parking lot, exchanging info with the other guy. I was looking my car over, and it seemed to be okay except for some paint chipping.

After settling that problem, we continued forward. I told Cory I wanted to drive since he sucked so bad, but he was adamant that it wouldn't happen again. So... now we're driving along some open highway in the countryside, and what does he do? He friggin runs right into the CEMENT TRUCK in front of us. I was super pissed at that point and yelling at him, and we all pulled over into a gravel parking lot for some bed and breakfast place. Cory got out to talk to the truck guys, and I got out and inspected my car. It was still OKAY, but it was missing some things... the driver's side mirror was gone. I was looking around on the ground for the missing mirror and I remember finding it next to a big pile of small square pieces of glass. For a moment I thought the glass was from my windows, but luckily it wasn't. That mirror would never move around automatically again if I glued it on myself, but I figured it would be fine moving it manually... first world problems and all that...

Also I took Cory's stupid keys away. I put them on my keychain and noticed my mailbox key was cut in half. It was a lamentable thing.

While Cory was out talking with the truck guys, me and the other passengers went into the bed and breakfast. We sat on the couches for a while and ate some food, some cheap gas station food like individually wrapped Twinkies and personal-sized bags of chips. Cory came in, and said the truck guys were being nice and picking all the ruined fragments off my car, so we still sat there and I bitched at him for being an idiot.

I had to take my Lamictal pill, so for some reason I put it in a big glass of water, which was stupid because once it gets wet, it gets reeeeaaalllly bitter. So then I'm in the bathroom and drinking the water, trying to swallow the pill, and I just can't get it down because of the bitterness. I swear to god I stood there for like ten minutes trying to figure that out.

Two:

Cory and I went to visit some botanical gardens in the fall. We brought along our dog Loki. There was a big door that led to a butterfly area, and so I ask Cory if we can go inside. He's really surprised and asks if I REALLY want to, and I say yes because I want to face my fears, and I was TERRIFIED of butterflies in this dream for some weird reason (WTF?) So we go inside, and let Loki off the leash so she can run around.

The butterfly area was a rectangular grassy area surrounded by tall hedges on all sides. In the middle was a rectangular pond with really clear water that was light blue and had lily pads and stuff all in it. There were birds all over, and a big blue crane wandering around in the water. There weren't too many butterflies, since it was cold out, but there were a couple Monarchs, some yellow Swallowtails, and some black Swallowtails... and some big white ones I couldn't identify. Possibly cabbage butterflies but giant-size?

Anyway, a few swooped at me, and I stood my ground. Cory was quite proud of me. Then he left me to my own devices and went to take photos of some of the birds. I walked around the pond looking at stuff with Loki running next to me, when she stops and does her business. I noticed blood dripping out of her when she did it, and I was freaking out and called Cory over. He said he couldn't see anything, and I was like WTF the blood is RIGHT THERE, but he was adamant about seeing nothing. As we're there on the ground I see a tiny baby hedgehog wander up next to me, rolling around all cutely and stuff. I get all giggly like OH MY GOOOOOD. I'm afraid to touch him because I couldn't remember if their quills were super sharp or not, but Cory pet him and then left. So I sat there playing with the hedgehog for a bit. It wandered up to Loki's business, and did some business of its own... gross. And I'm all "What the hell are you guys doing, trying to fight for territory or something?!"

I get up and wander around the pond for a while longer, and notice Seru standing at the entrance. He's got his arms crossed and says something to me and smiles... I can't remember what he said. Something about the butterflies, I think? I also might have been something about leaving. One or the other. I remember thinking for a moment that he was the guy I came into the butterfly area with, and I got confused. He was the last thing I saw before I woke up.

Three:

Just a dream fragment where I was walking around in a house. It was very cozy like a grandparent's house, at least, it made me feel that way. The floors were small wooden planks and felt really old.

One:

I was on the back of a wagon with some other people, sort of like in the beginning of Skyrim, but I realized it was a dream and went lucid. I didn't really want to do some Skyrim thing because it's not really a game I like, so I tumbled off the wagon and watched it drive away. I was standing on a sidewalk and trying to get my bearings, making the dream more vivid and such.

Then I thought "Holy crap, you know what I've never done? ATE FOOD." You know, food is supposed to be more delicious in dreams. I mean, sex is friggin amazing in dreams, so why not food? There were trees lining the sidewalk, so I did the Willy Wonka thing (everything is candyyyy) and just grabbed a leaf from the tree and stuffed it in my mouth. It tasted like a fruit roll-up times a million, SO GOOD.

So I wandered along the sidewalk, eating leaves, until I came across a forest-like area. When I went into it, it was kind of an open area like a pine forest. But there was a SUBWAY in the middle of it. Subway subs are pretty bland, but it was a dream so I was definitely going to go for that. When I went inside, the cashier was completely ignoring me so I went off to the hand-off spot anyway and a few subs were already laid out. One was an Italian sub which is my favorite, so I figured it was for me, grabbed it, and took a big bite. It was friggin delicious, the greatest sub I've ever tasted.

As I stood there eating it, a guy came up and was all HEY WHAT THE HELL? Because apparently I was eating his sub, but I wasn't about to give it up, so I sprinted out the door and took off through the forest. This guy chased me. I eventually lost him, but I also lost the sub, I guess because I wasn't paying attention to it. With no food, I decided to maybe just fly off into space, since I was able to reach the moon before, so why not? I flew straight up towards a star, but instead of going super fast, I just sort of flew along at a leisurely pace no matter how hard I tried. Then I woke up.

Two:

Cory and I were in the Godiva store, but we had no money. I seriously wanted chocolate badly, so I pulled out a credit card and just bought the entire store and we went into crazy debt. I remember sitting there eating truffles and being stressed over the money, but I didn't want to sell the store back because the truffles were so good. What was with these food dreams last night? At some point I was in the shower and my hair was falling out in clumps. When I woke up, I actually thought I was losing my hair for a minute.

Three:

Another lucid dream, but I can't remember it. I was looking at my hands, and then I flew upwards and chanted some mantras to keep myself lucid. That's all I remember.

One:

I was tied up on a chair in a large room. In the center was a big steel door on the floor, and there were people in robes standing all around it. They all stood there as the door on the floor slid open and a woman tied to an altar rose out of the hole. Just as that happened, I went lucid. Instead of untying myself, I decided to sit there and let it play out, just to see what kind of story I could play along with.

They left the woman on the altar and started to come at me, so I willed the rope untied and jumped up. They were all super surprised and WTF. An alarm rang and people were running everywhere, and I shot through the window out into the sky. In the sky there were lots of jets and people with jetpacks flying around, and I realized it was some kind of war. People were fighting each other. The guys in the building were the bad guys, so I joined up with the good guys and flew around watching the action. I noticed the building I came from was getting bombed, it was a giant complex, and soon there was a massive hole that took out a whole floor.

As I watched, an older lady flew up next to me, prepared to fight. So I tried to shoot off a Kamehameha, but it just fizzled. God, why can't I ever get DBZ stuff to work? Bleh... well, as soon as I attempted that, she started saying THE WORD, and I knew she was about to fire off her own Kamehameha. Just as it shot out of her hands, I freaked out thinking if I got hit, I would wake up, so I threw my arms forward and desperately tried again, AND IT WORKED. Mine met hers and overpowered it, and I destroyed her.

After that, I willed my clothes to be like the robes the guys in the complex were wearing, and went inside to try to save that woman. It was a lot of fun sneaking around like a spy. I was able to find her, but some other guys saw us and chased after us. We took a detour into a small hallway with a long booth, and sat down on the booth waiting for them to pass. But then I woke up.

Two:

A really strange dream where I was in the car with Cory and we were driving around a roundabout over and over without exiting it. I was holding a mechanical pencil and the shifting car caused me to stab myself in the right upper arm. It hurt like a bitch, and the stick of lead was stuck in me. I grabbed it to pull it out, but it was super long and started freaking me out. Once I pulled it out, I saw there was more in there, and eventually I was squeezing my arm trying to pop the other sticks of lead out. It was pretty freaky.

Three:

Another lucid dream. I was standing out in a grassy field. Off in the distance was the treeline of a forest, and there was a barn. I walked along in the field, kind of amazed at how vivid this dream was. The grass was super super green, and I was barefoot and it felt nice. I kept walking along, not really wanting to do much but enjoy it, because sometimes it's fun to just relax.

As I continued along, I wondered about summoning up Seru, so I attempted it. I tried a trick I read about on here where you reach your hand behind you and they grab on to it. Didn't work. Just as I was about to give up, he walked out of the forest onto the field, but there was something off about him. Only after he moved closer did I realize it wasn't actually Seru, it was just some random DC that looked like him, and he looked SUPER PISSED OFF. He just kind of loomed over me giving me this terrifying look, and then he took off quickly. I tried to follow him to see WTF was going on but he was too quick for me.

One:

I was in high school, and it was the last day before spring break. After class the teacher kept a few of us in the room, and asked us to beta read some fiction that other students wrote. She laid all the stories out in a vertical row on this bar thing, and we went up and picked one each. Mary, a friend of mine from high school, picked up the weird Zoolander fanfic, which was the one I wanted. So instead I picked the erotic MA rated story, figuring I could learn a thing or two about writing that sort of thing. As I was flipping through it, I realized it was HORRIBLY BAD. Like, they used the most disturbing terminology to describe penises and I just kept laughing. So I put it in my bag and left the room.

Before I left the school, I realized I was on my period (ugh) so I ran into the restroom to get a tampon real quick, and I noticed the restroom was DISGUSTING. Like, there were puddles of pee all over the floor and stuff. I nope'd on out of there and went into the men's restroom instead, and it was super clean. Which was weird, because usually the stereotype is the other way around. So as I left the restroom, I put on my headphones and put my mp3 player and my iPod in my pocket, and walked down the hall. I bumped into Misha Collins, but I kept calling him Castiel, and we walked out into the parking lot together, talking about things. It was raining outside and he lamented over the fact that he couldn't put his headphones on like me because he was afraid the rain would short circuit them and that his iPod couldn't fit in his pocket. He was totally bitching about it. I was like "Dude, they totally fit in your pocket..." and showed him that I had both that and my phone in my pocket. This just blew his mind for some reason. We parted ways in the parking lot and I headed out to my car.

Two:

Mom was headed on a road trip to see grandma, and I was pissed because she wouldn't let me come along. So as she drove off, I grabbed on to the car and just sat on top of the trunk while she drove along. I have no idea how she didn't notice me there.

The road trip was super long, and a few times I fell off and had to grab onto the bumper to keep from hitting the road, so by the time we got there, I was tired as hell. She pulled in down the gravel path and stopped and got out, and was pissed off that I'd hitched a ride like that. She was also screaming about how I could've died. I replied that she was a horrible driver because if she had looked in ANY of her mirrors she would've seen me. I walked around the property by myself.

Three:

Something about Cory withdrawing $100 from the bank account and using it to buy some little thing, and I got angry because he kept taking money out of the account so he could spend it on things without me knowing. He was also late from work a lot so I was accusing him of horrible shit.

Four:

Something involving Seru getting really pissed and drop kicking some dude. I remember feeling tense and thinking WTF. Also at some point I noticed my nail polish was completely wiped clean. I just stared at my nails all weirded out. It was the first dream of the night, and by the time I finished remembering the other dreams, I totally forgot most of this one.

One:

So tonight I flew to the moon again. Sorta. I went lucid and decided if I focused mostly on my flying and strengthened that, it would help me in other areas. Since flying involves ki, as do the big attacks I want to learn. Like... how am I supposed to fire off a successful Solar Kamehameha if I can't even control my ki enough to fly? So yeah.

I aimed for the moon again and this time it was a bit more smooth of a flight, still sorta shakey, and as soon as I landed on it, I saw this huge asteroid floating just above it. It was totally going to hit the earth, and I guess I could've stopped it, but I didn't really care I guess? I mean, I'm hanging out with the bad guys trying to learn a move that can destroy a solar system, so the earth is doomed anyway.

There was a door there on the moon so instead of hanging around to see the asteroid, I went through the door. On the other side was a long hallway with glass windows everywhere, so I tried to summon up someone to tell me where I was. This girl with green hair and a billion face piercings showed up, and instead of talking to me, she took me into a room and kept trying to make out with me. I told her I didn't really float that way, and also that it was weird kissing someone with facial piercings. So she started taking them all off and that's when I nope'd outta there and ran back into the hall. Seru was hanging out out there and as soon as I saw him, he smiled and turned away and then flew off down the hall. So I took off after him. My flight was kind of shakey so I realized I was still controlling my flying and he wasn't, he was just sort of leading me on. I noticed he did help me with some other things, like floating through walls and stuff. He would fly around randomly and I flew after him, through walls, outside, inside, etc. I felt like he was testing out my flying abilities so far.

The last thing I remember, though probably the last thing that happened, was I pulled out of the glass windows in the hallway into the outside, and the hallway was kind of suspended in the air and I could smell the beach and hear water. That's when I woke up.

Two:

Next dream started out non-lucid. There was a new Disney movie that was a crossover between Little Mermaid and Cinderella. Like they met and had adventures or something. I'd acquired an illegal bootleg of the movie from it's premiere before I came out in regular theaters and I got together with most all of my family and we sat around in a living room and watched it. The quality of the tape was really really poor and we were all disappointed and I was a little embarrassed I didn't check the tape beforehand. But we watched it anyway.

A few minutes in, the image on the TV became really clear and vivid, and there was a scene of Cinderella standing on the beach looking bored, and the camera panned over a long pier that ended at a platform with a boat and some people mulling about. This was not part of the movie. I looked around and all my family members were just frozen, like they stopped existing.

When I looked back to the TV, Seru was just standing there underwater, looking at me. And I suddenly became lucid again, but I couldn't control what I was doing, I just knew I was dreaming. I was pulled into the TV and down into the water, and I guess into his mind? I don't know, I just realized I wasn't in my own body, I was hanging out and seeing things in his first-person perspective, like I was just along for the ride. He sent me this weird questioning feeling, but I wasn't sure what he was trying to ask. He looked up and I saw we were directly below the platform. He shot through the water underneath the pier until he got halfway to the end, then he stopped and crouched down low and sent me another questioning feeling. I had this weird feeling like he was trying to fall into the background and suddenly I found myself in complete control. The questioning feeling he was giving me faded away and instead he seemed amused.

I was totally in control. I was totally Seru! I mean WHAT.

Well, I wasn't really him, he was still hanging out in there, but I still was in control of his body. Could a lucid dream get ANY COOLER than actually being a badass dude with infinite power and dream control? NO WAY.

I wanted to test out some of his abilities, not any of the destructive ones, but I wanted to see how he flew and how he teleported around. I thought to shoot up through the water into the air, but real-Seru kinda sent me a thought telling me not to get the attention of the people on the platform because they would be annoying and follow us. And he couldn't banish them since I was in control. So I continued along the bottom of the pier and the water grew more shallow until I was attempting to crawl along all sneaky. I thought I was far enough away so I shot up into the sky and hovered there. It felt AWESOME! Like, I didn't even struggle to hover there! Usually once I stop flying and stay still I fall, but I had DREAM GUIDE POWERS, heck yes!

I looked around. We were in some kind of small bay leading out into the ocean. On one side of the bay was a beach, and on the other was sheer cliff. The pier extended out from the beach to the cliffs. I smelled the beach and heard the water, and I realized that was where I was being led to by Seru before I woke up the first time. He totally invaded my non-lucid Disney dream and pulled me back there and gave me lucidity.

Wtf how is that even possible?

Anyway, apparently I wasn't far enough away because the guys on the platform started shouting and were running down the pier in my direction. Real-Seru felt annoyed but also amused. I took off over the cliffs, across some grasslands, getting my bearing on things. I felt a little weird at first, since I had wings there and I had to figure them out, but I noticed when I lifted them my flying was much more smooth. Like, super smooth. It was epic. In the middle of the grasslands was a log cabin-ish house. Real-Seru was focusing his attention on it, so I went down there and went inside.

In the entryway, I opened another door and saw what looked like the room I'd been in when I watched that Disney movie. He shot me another questioning feeling and an image of teleporting doors. Apparently trying to teach me some door teleportation... not something I've ever had any luck with. So I backed out of the room, closed the door, and reopened it. Nothing. He gave me an impatient feeling. I didn't focus enough. So I imagined being at a new place and opened the door again. IT TOTALLY WORKED. I was in some fancy room with a fireplace in a completely different house. I walked in and looked around at all the statuettes and furniture and kind of was amazed that my mind rendered this scene so quickly. It made me feel hope that I could teleport to a city if I wanted to.

He sent me an urging feeling like he wanted me to try that. But before I did, I noticed this cat on the table looking at me. Oh my god, it was SO CUTE. Like all its cute features were multiplied in cuteness by a hundred, and... I just wanted to hold the cat real quick haha. So I picked it up and cuddled it, and got a disapproving feeling from real-Seru. He probably just didn't like the idea of his body cuddling a kitten. I wish I could've seen it from third-person, it would've been hilarious.

Suddenly I heard people coming into the house, they were coming for me, the guys from the pier. Real-Seru was urging me toward the door, but I was so freaked out by the sudden change that I jumped out of the window and started flying, kitten in tow. SUPER annoyed feeling from real-Seru. He'd wanted me to teleport away using the door, me jumping out the window with a cat wasn't part of his "training", haha.

I held out the kitten while I flew and concentrated, and it disappeared. How did I do that? I have no idea. SERU POWERS.

My flying was still smooth. There was another building, it looked like a grocery store, and I figured I could go down there and find another door to mess with. I descended through the roof and landed in the refrigerated foods aisle, and all the shoppers freaked out screaming and ran away from me. At first I was confused, but then I remembered I was still Seru, so they probably assumed I was gonna eat them or something. I hovered, and then shot off down the aisles, testing out flying in small areas. It was a bit rough, I kept running into shelves and forgetting to keep my wings up for stabilization, and also people kept running away from wherever I was which was really distracting. Real-Seru was getting a huge kick out of it though, could feel how giddy he was. We got to a door, probably leading to a backroom or something, and he grabbed my attention and focused on it. I landed and walked up to it, totally ready to attempt a teleportation to a 'busy' scene, something I've never been able to do. I thought of a city and opened the door, and there it was!

I stepped into the scene. It was a quaint little city scene, with square buildings on each side and lots of people walking around. It was night and street lights were on. It looked like something out of a Leonid Afremov painting. As soon as the people saw me, they started running as well. Real-Seru was giving me this feeling like 'do whatever you want now, you teleported' so I jumped in the air and flew down the street, focusing on various things to change my heading. My attention kept falling to the people running around and each time I thought about them I'd shake a little in my flying, but overall I did awesomely. I woke up at some point as I was flying around.

I was living on some kind of farm area and there was a chain link fence between my house and the neighbor's. My dog Loki escaped from the house and went running over to the fence, and at the same time I saw the neighbor's two bigger dogs, like both retrievers or something, run over and snarl at her. Loki was just walking along obliviously while these two dogs tore at the fence to get to her, and for some reason I was stuck at the door and couldn't go running after her, so I was watching helplessly and screaming. The two dogs tore through the fence, one went through the middle and the other went under, and they attacked Loki and I could hear all her whimpering and I was just flipping out. The two dogs eventually backed off and I ran over and Loki was lying on the ground covered in blood with a huge gash on her belly, and I started crying because I thought she was dead, but I looked and her eyes were open slightly and she was breathing, and when I picked her up her tail wagged a little. So I rushed into the garage but the car was blocked by someone's car who was visiting the house, and I screamed for Cory so his friend moved the car and Cory and I got in our own car and drove off to the vet. I was sitting in the passenger seat with Loki all distraught. It took a long while to get there, and when we stopped Cory got out but we were at CULVER'S... he came back to the car with two pints of ice cream and I was like WTF! I woke up pretty shaken.

I had a lucid dream, I don't remember how I became lucid, but it happened while I was standing in a dark grassy field looking out over a starry night sky. I rubbed my hands together to stabilize myself and scanned the horizon for the moon. It was pretty low on the horizon and slightly covered by some dark trees, but as I looked at it, I thought "I wonder if I can still do that ki flying thing... aiming for the moon would be a huge success." So I did! I focused my attention on the moon as a goal and I jumped into the air, flying towards it. I almost fell at first, and kind of dropped to the ground a bit, but I ignored it and kept my focus on my goal, and soon I was flying at super human speeds with the moon growing bigger and bigger. The moon was coming up pretty fast, so I threw my legs forward so I could land on my feet and descended. The moon was pretty small... it was like the size of King Kai's planet. I wandered around and looked at all the craters, then sat down and ran my hands through the sandy ground. Moon dust! The stars in the sky were even more awesome on the moon. I noticed off to the side was a little deep cave, so I leaned over and thought it would be cool to have moon-people, so I cleared out a bunch of rocks and stuff blocking the entrance and I saw some movement inside. But then I woke up.

I was in some kind of school-type setting, with a bunch of other people, and this guy kept checking me out and starting hitting on me and stuff. When he came over, I leaned over and whispered to him that I was going to go in an empty room down the hall, and that he should come out five minutes later after me, so we could meet up without everyone in the class knowing what was going on. So we met up in the empty room and had sex. Right afterwards, all the other people decided to move to that empty room, so we had to gather ourselves really quickly and pretend like nothing happened.

There was a mini-dream I had when I dozed off, it just involved me picking up daddy long legs spiders and one of them kept biting me. I looked at him walking along my arm biting me over and over and I was just all "Why you gotta do me like this, bro?!" Bah.

Went lucid, though I don't remember how. I was out in a greenway-type path with trees around me, and I was super happy because I wasn't stuck in the damn locked house for once. I attempted to fly by jumping up into the air, but only managed to jump super high and then fall back down to the ground. I was pretty upset, but then I remembered something Seru told me in a past dream, how I should aim for a landmark in the distance and focus on getting there rather than the act of flying itself. He says when flying with ki, you don't focus on the act of flying itself, just your intention and your heading. Sooo... I looked off in the distance at a tree and decided I wanted to go there, jumped up and flew off towards it. Slowly at first, but then I was able to speed up and I was moving crazy fast. Then the dream started to fade out and I wound up back in my body.

After that I lay still and attempted to re-enter the dream, like during my last lucid, and I was successful. This time I was standing on a sidewalk, and there was a tall brick wall on my right with vines on it. I walked down the sidewalk, running my hands along the brick to help stabilize the dream. The sidewalk kept going out into a field, and off to my left I saw many people that were kind of phasing in and out. I was looking for my dear ol' dream guide. I stopped walking because I heard "Fly Me to the Moon" playing from up above, and then I saw Frank Sinatra fade in before my eyes and walk up to me. But when I saw him, I knew. It was my dream guide, and he was Frank Sinatra for some weird reason. I asked him and he gave me that little knowing smile of his, the one he has on his original form. I knew it was because of the significance of that song from real life. He pointed off into the distance down the sidewalk, which was now running down the middle of an open field, and told me to fly off in that direction. I was reluctant at first because of the flying thing, but he was using that god-mode dream control of his and sent me flying. I flew a little bit above the sidewalk, enjoying the wind on my face, not really sure where I was headed, just going wherever he sent me flying off to. Music started to play as I flew, music I've never heard, like my mind was making it up. It was a very beautiful song, some pop-style song about a heartbeat. I remember being annoyed that I wouldn't remember the song once I woke up. As I kept flying, some military-style buildings showed up on my left. They were like military museums like the kind you see on army bases, with the old cannons and missiles and tanks sitting around out front on display. I landed right near them, and just kind of looked around, wondering where I was and if I was on an army base I used to live at. There on the sidewalk in front of me was Seru who was currently not Frank Sinatra, and he had his arms crossed and thought everything was just soooooo funny. I was all "Hey, you're just sending me around randomly!" and he was just like "I 'guided' you, didn't I?" What a dick. But I did get to fly around a bunch, and I wasn't stuck in the house, so maybe it was a good thing? He was helping me with my flying, too... so okay maybe he wasn't being a dick. It still felt like he was messing with my head though.

I suddenly became lucid during a regular dream when I looked down and noticed my hands looked strange. I was in a house... again. This time I didn't feel trapped, but I felt hopeless and unable to do anything, with no dream control at all. I walked through the house, intending to go outside, but then out of the corner of my eye I saw a square hole cut into the wooden floor. It was just big enough to climb down, and it seemed to radiate evil and darkness, with a staircase going down it... so I went down it. It seems I have this weird fearlessness in my dreams that I fail at in real life. I think its my determination to find what I want, like I'm so sick and tired of my lucids not working that I've stopped giving a fuck about nightmare things. They're only in my way, after all. As I walked down the stairs to the bottom, I turned the corner and the first thing I saw was a spider web with crazy things in it, like the big black scribble I remembered seeing on a nightmare creature in a dream a few weeks ago. I kept walking, down a huge wide hallway that was dusty with a hard packed dirt floor. It was dark but I could see a little in the distance. There was a tall, lanky grey alien standing a little bit ahead of me, and he moved closer, blinking in and out, without actually moving his body. When he finally got to me, I was just like FUCK YOU and slapped out my hand, and he turned transparent and faded away. I continued walking. I was looking for Seru to come break me free, but I was frustrated that I couldn't find him and he wasn't showing up when I called. Then I felt my dream fading and I returned to my waking body, but I lay perfectly still and attempted to re-enter the dream.

As I lay there, I went into sleep paralysis while waiting which just kept going and going until I finally gave up. But when I opened my eyes and sat up, I found I was back in the dream. It was super unstable though, so I focused on my surroundings, feeling things and noticing the sounds and smells... dank and musty. I was touching a metal bar or table and it was cold and hard. I continued down the hallway and came to an opening that was on the right side of the hallway. It was some kind of balcony open to the evening sky and the sun was going down. The ground outside was almost pitch black but the sun was bathing the balcony in a nice orange glow. But I couldn't get off it and go outside. I turned around toward the hallway and looked down it and figured I'd just sit and wait for Seru since that always seems to work. Arrogant domineering asshole, always wanting to be the initiator in any situation... Just then I saw some sunlight breaking through the hallway ceiling, illuminating it with rays of light and, and he was standing far down at the end of the hallway. He moved towards me but I couldn't see his face then, because it was in the shadow. When he came close, he jumped into the air and flew past me quickly, through the balcony into the evening sky. I jumped up and flew after him, breaking through the house and off the balcony as well. I flew behind him for a while, even though he was going pretty damn fast and I had a hard time catching up to him. But I was able to slowly catch up and fall in beside him... I was afraid he'd look over at me and have some creepy nightmarish face since I'd found him in the nightmare basement, but once I was parallel with him, he looked over at me with a smile and he looked regular. I guess moods and setting doesn't have any effect on a dream guide. I was so damn happy that he broke me out of the house again that I reached over and kissed him... it was a really vivid kiss, and felt real. Which was weird, because I can still imagine the feeling. When I did that, he stopped and wrapped his arms around me (what a sweetie. still an arrogant asshole though) We did some fun pervy things, but then I remembered I wanted to ask him something, so I asked if he really was my dream guide or if the last time I asked him was just a fluke. He reassured me that he was, but then he stopped and gave me a strange look, and I realized the dream was fading away again. Never got to finish my pervy stuff. Pityyyyyy.

CD 14 pre-O

I was at a grocery store with a dollar off coupon, and for some reason I thought I could just walk up to a register and get a free dollar if I just gave them the coupon. As I was in line I realized that was impossible, but I didn't want to embarrass myself so I grabbed a Ritter Sport bar and bought that. Once I did, I saw it was some gross sour milk flavor, and behind the counter I noticed a guy who looked like LeBron James unloading a box of the flavor that I liked, so I asked if I could switch them out. He said yes, but I'd have to get in line out back. So I wandered around to the other side of the register and there was a wall with a single door, and another line. As I was standing in line, Watson from BBC Sherlock was standing behind me, and I knew him, so I asked "So, how've you been?" and he furrowed his browed and looked at me puzzled and said "Sorry... who are you?" to which I replied "Remember, we used to solve crimes with Sherlock." Then he remembered me and said Ah. I asked him how Sherlock was and he said he hadn't seen much of him. I told him I hadn't either.

It was Valentine's Day and I was with Amy in a giant convention center type place. We passed by a gift shop that was full of people, so full that there were lines just to walk a circle around the store. She asked me if I wanted to go in and I said no way, but then I realized that she really wanted to go so I pretended to change my mind and we went in. I told Amy to pick out something and I'd buy it for her since it was Valentine's and all, so she chose this toy of Mickey Mouse on a bicycle with a thing of candy attached to it. I also saw those little boxes of Sweetart hearts but the hearts were Spree instead, which was awesome.

I was escorting a dangerous criminal out of a building with some man in a blue jacket. We were waiting by the elevator with this criminal chained up and there was a random person standing behind us, so I wanted to kind of freak him out. I leaned over to my escort buddy and whispered loud enough for the person to hear "Can you imagine if we lost this guy? The whole building would have to be shut down and quarantined." The person totally looked uncomfortable haha. Unfortunately I jinxed it and the criminal actually got away and jumped into the elevator by himself. We grabbed the next elevator, but realized it had only one button so we could've just run down the one flight of stairs and intercepted him quickly.

(Look at me, being a lazy ass and not transferring my dreams from my notebook to this dream journal here. Phhhft.)

CD 5 post-AF pre-O

I worked at an oddities shop that had lots of interesting dusty things laying about. I came across a little mirrored jewelry box (it looked like the black one I got in South Korea) and noticed that if you looked into the mirror, it would hypnotize you. The mirror would start to glow orange-y and your eyes would too. It took control of your mind and made it some kind of slave. I was the only one who could withstand it because of all my mental disorders fucking my mind up, so when I looked into it, I could feel it circling my mind but unable to get in. It felt nice, like a high, so I just did it for fun. People started hearing about the mirror, and they all wanted to come to the shop to try it. When they came in, I'd take them to the back room while telling them how much I loved looking into it and they would try to withstand the mind control. If I saw their eyes start glowing, I'd pull the mirror away and they'd snap out of it. Everyone loved doing it since it felt so nice. At one point I went out to get something to eat, burritos, and when I came back, someone had looked into it without me there to pull them away, so everyone was freaking out and had no idea how to pull her out of it.

I was flying along a fence, terrified, running away from some horrible monster. As I'm flying, I realize that I'm dreaming and go lucid, so I keep flying forward and then shoot up into the sky, going higher and higher. I flew high past tall trees with many branches that were barren, and when I got super high I hesitated and then I wound up falling and couldn't stop. I closed my eyes right before I hit the ground... but there wasn't an impact. The closed eyes the dream unstable when I opened them, so that was a dumb thing to do. So I was sitting on the grass and I looked up and Seru was just kinda standing over me, I guess he caught me. I watched as he just stood there, looking around defensively like he was trying to protect me from something, and that's when I remembered the horrible thing that had been chasing me, and Seru was attempting, quite successfully, to keep it away. The dream was still pretty unstable, but I remembered a sensory technique involving focusing on all five senses, so I laid down in the grass and focused. The feel of the cool grass beneath me. The foresty noises of birds and shaking branches. The humidity. The look of all the trees and birds. The smell, but I couldn't smell any forest smells even though I tried... None of it was working. All the while Seru was standing there, now watching me with this expression like he was waiting for me to do whatever silly thing I was attempting. He also looked kind of pissed... then I realized he was annoyed because I was laying down, and I remembered that was a stupid as hell thing to do in a dream because it anchored you to your waking body. So yeah, I woke up.

(So I've noticed dream recall and lucidity seem to be somewhat related to estrogen and progesterone levels, at least for me. When progesterone reaches its peak in the luteal phase, so does my lucids. When estrogen reaches its first and then second peaks, during ovulation and again during mid-luteal, my dream recall can get up to 5-6 a night. And the rise in body temperature from the first to second phases seem to affect vividness. Immediately before the period starts, when both hormones and temperature hit rock bottom, so does lucidity/recall/vividness. ...I guess not even most women would know what I'm talking about, but since the hubby and I are trying to have a baby, I've been keeping a laser sharp focus on those levels. So for the next few months or so I'm going to try to associate dreams to cycle days. And today is cycle day one! So yay, that's convenient.)

CD1 AF

I was out on base, shopping at the commissary with a girl I used to know but can't remember, and a friend of hers who was in a wheelchair. When we entered the store, the employees stopped us and insisted that her friend leave his wheelchair and use one of their store-approved ones. He didn't want to switch chairs, and the employees were getting annoyed. Samantha and I were getting annoyed and wanted to punch them for being dicks to her friend. We told them it was illegal to do what they were doing and we all tried to just go around them, but then two of them ran up to her friend and physically LIFTED him out of the chair and tried to throw him into one of theirs. We absolutely flipped the fuck out on them and there was a big fight.

Samantha, an old friend from middle school, and I were roommates. We lived in this little flat and I guess one of us was an artist because there were sheets all up on the walls and paint and such. There were lots of windows all over the place, and you could see the nighttime lights of the city from them. I wanted to do something nice for her, but I don't remember what. She was telling me about this party while we were watching something on TV - something about a car and a cowboy? - and we decided we'd go. We had to walk there, apparently, and we were walking through a field with trees around us, and we both had flashlights, heading toward the party. On the way there we stop and see one of her friends standing out in the field, covered in dirt and wearing tattered clothes. I asked him why he was out there dressed like that and he seemed to get offended and said he lived on the street. I got really confused at that point, because we all lived on the army base and everyone there is given assigned housing so there's no way anyone living here would be homeless. Then he got SUPER angry and started saying things like "Well, where do you think poor people exist then?!" and I said "Only in the civilian world, obviously..." He chided me and told me that many of the families on base were homeless but I didn't hear about it because my dad was a high-ranking officer and the bigwigs sheltered us from those sorts of things. It kind of freaked me out to realize that all the lower-ranking privates lived on the streets past the officer community in the center of the base.

Cory and I were looking to adopt a kid, so we mapped out a few orphanages on our GPS. Apparently you can just go to a random orphanage and pick up a kid like you would a pet or something. So we set out in the car, but kept getting lost. Really lost, like driving through people's yards and at one point we were off-roading in some field of dirt. Cory wanted to drive up this sand bank but it was friggin sheer vertical sand and I said no way. He tried anyway and we slipped back down. I tried getting our location on the map on my phone, but the map kept zooming out and made it impossible. By some miracle we finally made it to the orphanage and we were looking at kids, and we were thinking on this 12ish year old boy with sandy hair. So we were walking around the orphanage with him and he was telling us about himself, but something about him seemed very off. He asked if we would adopt him, so Cory and I had a little pow-wow and we both really didn't want to. We wanted to move on to the next orphanage. We were dreading telling him because we didn't want to break his little heart, but we finally did and he looked so dejected and just said "Oh." and walked away. I wanted to cry.

For some reason we were paying rent on two apartments because we were too lazy to move all the stuff from one apartment over to the other. So we slept at one apartment, but the other one had our washer/dryer, so we would drive over there to do our clothes. We decided to finally combine them but when we went to the washer/dryer apartment, we just couldn't figure out how to do it or how to bring the stuff back to the other place. Apparently we also kept a cash register with a moving belt attached to it at the apartment. Cory would put items on the belt and when they got to the end I'd bag them, and that's how we moved stuff. The belt was also super-magnetic so whenever something metal came down the line, it would stick and I'd have to struggle to pull it off.

I don't remember the last dream, just that I was sitting on the ground and Seru in his semi-perfect form was standing there screaming at me and I was like WTF. And I was friggin terrified for some reason.

(I woke up a few times during the night and remembered literally NOTHING about my dreams. Which sucked because with all the lucids I've had lately, I may have had one and forgotten. I remembered only my dreams from my last leg of sleep.)

I was part of a special task force sent into this massive cave system to help take out these evil giant bats that could disintegrate people by hovering over them and letting off a sound/energy wave down at them. We fortified the cave system, adding rooms and barriers and such, but when the bats started coming there were thousands of them. The battle waged on and we were losing. So we retreated back to one of the rooms to formulate a plan. Our intel told us there was a cave path where only the baby bats lived, but they were also dangerous. We decided to take them out first, since they'd be weaker and we could figure out the behaviors and weaknesses of these bats. I had to run to the bathroom quick, and when I got back apparently they'd already passed out the guns and ammo. I asked about getting one and they told me to talk to some guy who was all decked out Rambo-style, but I couldn't get to him to get a gun. So I wound up following this task force unarmed. When we got to the tunnel, baby bats started pouring out of it. They were still pretty huge, and another battle took place. The people on the force were shooting them down with machine guns and such, and I was just running frantically from barrier to barrier looking for this guy to give me a gun.

I was checking eBay and I noticed my rating had shot down a crazy amount. So I looked into it and noticed people were leaving bad feedback about how I never pay, so I freaked out that someone had hacked my account. I looked all over my laptop trying to figure out how they did it, but to no avail. So then I went back to eBay to change the password on my account and hopefully reconcile with the support staff, but no matter where I looked I couldn't find a page to change passwords from. I was flipping out because the hacker was fucking with my shit as I looked, and this statue I wanted to buy ended that day and I neeeeeeded it but I doubted they'd sell it to me with my shitty history. I decided to literally 'clean' the viruses from my laptop, so I mixed a big white bucket up with water and vinegar and dunked my laptop in it. For some reason this satisfied me and I thought it was all good again. But the bad feedback was still there and I had no idea how to fix that. A friend of mine said they knew someone who worked at eBay that could help, so I went down to the corporate office to see her and she agreed to change my password for me. I have no idea how I got rid of the bad reviews though.

Lucid dreams three days in a row? No wais! ...this one kinda sucked though, and there was no dream guide activity like in the last two. So once again I found myself lucid in a random house, but this time I was able to open the door and go out onto the patio. It was one of those second floor patios with a staircase going down it. I got so excited when I was able to open the door and go outside, but then... I couldn't get off the friggin patio. Figures. It was like an invisible wall was over the railing and the stairs. But when I turned back around toward the house, there was suddenly a table and two chairs where there originally was nothing. I thought about it and said "Okay, I think I know how this works. This is gonna be a regular thing then." So I sat down in one of the chairs and did my pitiful-sounding callout... and nothing. There I was, sitting at the table all alone, with no Seru to break me out of my weird prison this time. Out past the patio I could see my brother out in the alley/hallway thing, and then I woke up. So it wasn't a very long lucid, but I woke up feeling put-out like I got stood up or something. I know dream guides don't always do what you want them to do, buuutttt... I don't know. It was probably because I was only lucid for a minute or so before I woke up, so there wasn't much time for him to show up. I really wanted to ask him WHY I was always locked in the house, that was my plan. Next time, I guess. A dream deferred and all that.

I went to a convention with Cory, in a hotel. There were a whole lot of people and booths and whatnot, and we went up to this one booth that was selling soft serve ice cream in little cups. Cory and I and some other con-goers were standing around in a circle, paying for ice cream cups, and when the lady selling them got to me, I paid her the same amount of money everyone else did. But she got pissed when I grabbed the medium-sized cup and told me I could only have a small... even though all those other douchebags got medium ones. So unfair. Cory gave me some of his, though.

I was sitting in a classroom with other students, but the teacher was gone on an errand, so he put in a video for us to watch. It was a video about something called 'extreme poufing' that involved using shower poufs like nunchucks. (...I still totally laugh when I think about it, ha.) And then the video went into some weird tirade about how to properly use shower poufs in Battle Royale or Hunger Games situations. ANYWAY. All of the other students thought it was the stupidest shit, but I loved it. When the teacher came back he asked us if we saw it and everyone ignored him but me, and I was showing off my 'extreme poufing' skills and kept shouting "Extreme poufing!" like super loud. So anyway, after that the class met again and the teacher was showing us stuff about nature. I was looking out over a cliff onto the forest below and it freaked me out because it made me dizzy. Then we saw a person walking a dog down in the forest, and apparently we were visiting the South because one of the students, this guy in his early 20s, got all freaked out and said something like "Holy shit, people own dogs in the South? There are dogs in the South?!" I told him yes and tried to explain, since I used to live in the South and also own a dog, but he kept looking at me like I was nuts and refused to believe me. Whatever, man.

Amy and I were walking through what looked like an old antique store, but it was actually my grandma's from my dad's side house. It was just arranged in aisles like some kind of store with stuff everywhere like a place on American Pickers. We passed through each aisle looking for something to buy, and I paused at the beginning of one aisle because I saw something I thought was cool. It was a little cast iron round table, like a child-size table, and a little cast iron chair with a round seat. In the middle of the table was a pole that stuck upwards and had an old-looking red white and blue flag on it. It wasn't a USA flag though, it looked like some kind of old quilt design. We kept walking and I started regretting not getting said table. When we got to the front of the store/house again, grandma if we wanted drinks and we said yes because we were super thirsty. Amy grabbed a water and I got a Sprite, but I choked on the Sprite a little. I started awake after that and still felt a choking feeling in my throat.