Mouka's Mind Palace

CD 14 pre-O

I was at a grocery store with a dollar off coupon, and for some reason I thought I could just walk up to a register and get a free dollar if I just gave them the coupon. As I was in line I realized that was impossible, but I didn't want to embarrass myself so I grabbed a Ritter Sport bar and bought that. Once I did, I saw it was some gross sour milk flavor, and behind the counter I noticed a guy who looked like LeBron James unloading a box of the flavor that I liked, so I asked if I could switch them out. He said yes, but I'd have to get in line out back. So I wandered around to the other side of the register and there was a wall with a single door, and another line. As I was standing in line, Watson from BBC Sherlock was standing behind me, and I knew him, so I asked "So, how've you been?" and he furrowed his browed and looked at me puzzled and said "Sorry... who are you?" to which I replied "Remember, we used to solve crimes with Sherlock." Then he remembered me and said Ah. I asked him how Sherlock was and he said he hadn't seen much of him. I told him I hadn't either.

It was Valentine's Day and I was with Amy in a giant convention center type place. We passed by a gift shop that was full of people, so full that there were lines just to walk a circle around the store. She asked me if I wanted to go in and I said no way, but then I realized that she really wanted to go so I pretended to change my mind and we went in. I told Amy to pick out something and I'd buy it for her since it was Valentine's and all, so she chose this toy of Mickey Mouse on a bicycle with a thing of candy attached to it. I also saw those little boxes of Sweetart hearts but the hearts were Spree instead, which was awesome.

I was escorting a dangerous criminal out of a building with some man in a blue jacket. We were waiting by the elevator with this criminal chained up and there was a random person standing behind us, so I wanted to kind of freak him out. I leaned over to my escort buddy and whispered loud enough for the person to hear "Can you imagine if we lost this guy? The whole building would have to be shut down and quarantined." The person totally looked uncomfortable haha. Unfortunately I jinxed it and the criminal actually got away and jumped into the elevator by himself. We grabbed the next elevator, but realized it had only one button so we could've just run down the one flight of stairs and intercepted him quickly.

(Look at me, being a lazy ass and not transferring my dreams from my notebook to this dream journal here. Phhhft.)

CD 5 post-AF pre-O

I worked at an oddities shop that had lots of interesting dusty things laying about. I came across a little mirrored jewelry box (it looked like the black one I got in South Korea) and noticed that if you looked into the mirror, it would hypnotize you. The mirror would start to glow orange-y and your eyes would too. It took control of your mind and made it some kind of slave. I was the only one who could withstand it because of all my mental disorders fucking my mind up, so when I looked into it, I could feel it circling my mind but unable to get in. It felt nice, like a high, so I just did it for fun. People started hearing about the mirror, and they all wanted to come to the shop to try it. When they came in, I'd take them to the back room while telling them how much I loved looking into it and they would try to withstand the mind control. If I saw their eyes start glowing, I'd pull the mirror away and they'd snap out of it. Everyone loved doing it since it felt so nice. At one point I went out to get something to eat, burritos, and when I came back, someone had looked into it without me there to pull them away, so everyone was freaking out and had no idea how to pull her out of it.

I was flying along a fence, terrified, running away from some horrible monster. As I'm flying, I realize that I'm dreaming and go lucid, so I keep flying forward and then shoot up into the sky, going higher and higher. I flew high past tall trees with many branches that were barren, and when I got super high I hesitated and then I wound up falling and couldn't stop. I closed my eyes right before I hit the ground... but there wasn't an impact. The closed eyes the dream unstable when I opened them, so that was a dumb thing to do. So I was sitting on the grass and I looked up and Seru was just kinda standing over me, I guess he caught me. I watched as he just stood there, looking around defensively like he was trying to protect me from something, and that's when I remembered the horrible thing that had been chasing me, and Seru was attempting, quite successfully, to keep it away. The dream was still pretty unstable, but I remembered a sensory technique involving focusing on all five senses, so I laid down in the grass and focused. The feel of the cool grass beneath me. The foresty noises of birds and shaking branches. The humidity. The look of all the trees and birds. The smell, but I couldn't smell any forest smells even though I tried... None of it was working. All the while Seru was standing there, now watching me with this expression like he was waiting for me to do whatever silly thing I was attempting. He also looked kind of pissed... then I realized he was annoyed because I was laying down, and I remembered that was a stupid as hell thing to do in a dream because it anchored you to your waking body. So yeah, I woke up.

(So I've noticed dream recall and lucidity seem to be somewhat related to estrogen and progesterone levels, at least for me. When progesterone reaches its peak in the luteal phase, so does my lucids. When estrogen reaches its first and then second peaks, during ovulation and again during mid-luteal, my dream recall can get up to 5-6 a night. And the rise in body temperature from the first to second phases seem to affect vividness. Immediately before the period starts, when both hormones and temperature hit rock bottom, so does lucidity/recall/vividness. ...I guess not even most women would know what I'm talking about, but since the hubby and I are trying to have a baby, I've been keeping a laser sharp focus on those levels. So for the next few months or so I'm going to try to associate dreams to cycle days. And today is cycle day one! So yay, that's convenient.)

CD1 AF

I was out on base, shopping at the commissary with a girl I used to know but can't remember, and a friend of hers who was in a wheelchair. When we entered the store, the employees stopped us and insisted that her friend leave his wheelchair and use one of their store-approved ones. He didn't want to switch chairs, and the employees were getting annoyed. Samantha and I were getting annoyed and wanted to punch them for being dicks to her friend. We told them it was illegal to do what they were doing and we all tried to just go around them, but then two of them ran up to her friend and physically LIFTED him out of the chair and tried to throw him into one of theirs. We absolutely flipped the fuck out on them and there was a big fight.

Samantha, an old friend from middle school, and I were roommates. We lived in this little flat and I guess one of us was an artist because there were sheets all up on the walls and paint and such. There were lots of windows all over the place, and you could see the nighttime lights of the city from them. I wanted to do something nice for her, but I don't remember what. She was telling me about this party while we were watching something on TV - something about a car and a cowboy? - and we decided we'd go. We had to walk there, apparently, and we were walking through a field with trees around us, and we both had flashlights, heading toward the party. On the way there we stop and see one of her friends standing out in the field, covered in dirt and wearing tattered clothes. I asked him why he was out there dressed like that and he seemed to get offended and said he lived on the street. I got really confused at that point, because we all lived on the army base and everyone there is given assigned housing so there's no way anyone living here would be homeless. Then he got SUPER angry and started saying things like "Well, where do you think poor people exist then?!" and I said "Only in the civilian world, obviously..." He chided me and told me that many of the families on base were homeless but I didn't hear about it because my dad was a high-ranking officer and the bigwigs sheltered us from those sorts of things. It kind of freaked me out to realize that all the lower-ranking privates lived on the streets past the officer community in the center of the base.

Cory and I were looking to adopt a kid, so we mapped out a few orphanages on our GPS. Apparently you can just go to a random orphanage and pick up a kid like you would a pet or something. So we set out in the car, but kept getting lost. Really lost, like driving through people's yards and at one point we were off-roading in some field of dirt. Cory wanted to drive up this sand bank but it was friggin sheer vertical sand and I said no way. He tried anyway and we slipped back down. I tried getting our location on the map on my phone, but the map kept zooming out and made it impossible. By some miracle we finally made it to the orphanage and we were looking at kids, and we were thinking on this 12ish year old boy with sandy hair. So we were walking around the orphanage with him and he was telling us about himself, but something about him seemed very off. He asked if we would adopt him, so Cory and I had a little pow-wow and we both really didn't want to. We wanted to move on to the next orphanage. We were dreading telling him because we didn't want to break his little heart, but we finally did and he looked so dejected and just said "Oh." and walked away. I wanted to cry.

For some reason we were paying rent on two apartments because we were too lazy to move all the stuff from one apartment over to the other. So we slept at one apartment, but the other one had our washer/dryer, so we would drive over there to do our clothes. We decided to finally combine them but when we went to the washer/dryer apartment, we just couldn't figure out how to do it or how to bring the stuff back to the other place. Apparently we also kept a cash register with a moving belt attached to it at the apartment. Cory would put items on the belt and when they got to the end I'd bag them, and that's how we moved stuff. The belt was also super-magnetic so whenever something metal came down the line, it would stick and I'd have to struggle to pull it off.

I don't remember the last dream, just that I was sitting on the ground and Seru in his semi-perfect form was standing there screaming at me and I was like WTF. And I was friggin terrified for some reason.

(I woke up a few times during the night and remembered literally NOTHING about my dreams. Which sucked because with all the lucids I've had lately, I may have had one and forgotten. I remembered only my dreams from my last leg of sleep.)

I was part of a special task force sent into this massive cave system to help take out these evil giant bats that could disintegrate people by hovering over them and letting off a sound/energy wave down at them. We fortified the cave system, adding rooms and barriers and such, but when the bats started coming there were thousands of them. The battle waged on and we were losing. So we retreated back to one of the rooms to formulate a plan. Our intel told us there was a cave path where only the baby bats lived, but they were also dangerous. We decided to take them out first, since they'd be weaker and we could figure out the behaviors and weaknesses of these bats. I had to run to the bathroom quick, and when I got back apparently they'd already passed out the guns and ammo. I asked about getting one and they told me to talk to some guy who was all decked out Rambo-style, but I couldn't get to him to get a gun. So I wound up following this task force unarmed. When we got to the tunnel, baby bats started pouring out of it. They were still pretty huge, and another battle took place. The people on the force were shooting them down with machine guns and such, and I was just running frantically from barrier to barrier looking for this guy to give me a gun.

I was checking eBay and I noticed my rating had shot down a crazy amount. So I looked into it and noticed people were leaving bad feedback about how I never pay, so I freaked out that someone had hacked my account. I looked all over my laptop trying to figure out how they did it, but to no avail. So then I went back to eBay to change the password on my account and hopefully reconcile with the support staff, but no matter where I looked I couldn't find a page to change passwords from. I was flipping out because the hacker was fucking with my shit as I looked, and this statue I wanted to buy ended that day and I neeeeeeded it but I doubted they'd sell it to me with my shitty history. I decided to literally 'clean' the viruses from my laptop, so I mixed a big white bucket up with water and vinegar and dunked my laptop in it. For some reason this satisfied me and I thought it was all good again. But the bad feedback was still there and I had no idea how to fix that. A friend of mine said they knew someone who worked at eBay that could help, so I went down to the corporate office to see her and she agreed to change my password for me. I have no idea how I got rid of the bad reviews though.

Lucid dreams three days in a row? No wais! ...this one kinda sucked though, and there was no dream guide activity like in the last two. So once again I found myself lucid in a random house, but this time I was able to open the door and go out onto the patio. It was one of those second floor patios with a staircase going down it. I got so excited when I was able to open the door and go outside, but then... I couldn't get off the friggin patio. Figures. It was like an invisible wall was over the railing and the stairs. But when I turned back around toward the house, there was suddenly a table and two chairs where there originally was nothing. I thought about it and said "Okay, I think I know how this works. This is gonna be a regular thing then." So I sat down in one of the chairs and did my pitiful-sounding callout... and nothing. There I was, sitting at the table all alone, with no Seru to break me out of my weird prison this time. Out past the patio I could see my brother out in the alley/hallway thing, and then I woke up. So it wasn't a very long lucid, but I woke up feeling put-out like I got stood up or something. I know dream guides don't always do what you want them to do, buuutttt... I don't know. It was probably because I was only lucid for a minute or so before I woke up, so there wasn't much time for him to show up. I really wanted to ask him WHY I was always locked in the house, that was my plan. Next time, I guess. A dream deferred and all that.

I went to a convention with Cory, in a hotel. There were a whole lot of people and booths and whatnot, and we went up to this one booth that was selling soft serve ice cream in little cups. Cory and I and some other con-goers were standing around in a circle, paying for ice cream cups, and when the lady selling them got to me, I paid her the same amount of money everyone else did. But she got pissed when I grabbed the medium-sized cup and told me I could only have a small... even though all those other douchebags got medium ones. So unfair. Cory gave me some of his, though.

I was sitting in a classroom with other students, but the teacher was gone on an errand, so he put in a video for us to watch. It was a video about something called 'extreme poufing' that involved using shower poufs like nunchucks. (...I still totally laugh when I think about it, ha.) And then the video went into some weird tirade about how to properly use shower poufs in Battle Royale or Hunger Games situations. ANYWAY. All of the other students thought it was the stupidest shit, but I loved it. When the teacher came back he asked us if we saw it and everyone ignored him but me, and I was showing off my 'extreme poufing' skills and kept shouting "Extreme poufing!" like super loud. So anyway, after that the class met again and the teacher was showing us stuff about nature. I was looking out over a cliff onto the forest below and it freaked me out because it made me dizzy. Then we saw a person walking a dog down in the forest, and apparently we were visiting the South because one of the students, this guy in his early 20s, got all freaked out and said something like "Holy shit, people own dogs in the South? There are dogs in the South?!" I told him yes and tried to explain, since I used to live in the South and also own a dog, but he kept looking at me like I was nuts and refused to believe me. Whatever, man.

Amy and I were walking through what looked like an old antique store, but it was actually my grandma's from my dad's side house. It was just arranged in aisles like some kind of store with stuff everywhere like a place on American Pickers. We passed through each aisle looking for something to buy, and I paused at the beginning of one aisle because I saw something I thought was cool. It was a little cast iron round table, like a child-size table, and a little cast iron chair with a round seat. In the middle of the table was a pole that stuck upwards and had an old-looking red white and blue flag on it. It wasn't a USA flag though, it looked like some kind of old quilt design. We kept walking and I started regretting not getting said table. When we got to the front of the store/house again, grandma if we wanted drinks and we said yes because we were super thirsty. Amy grabbed a water and I got a Sprite, but I choked on the Sprite a little. I started awake after that and still felt a choking feeling in my throat.