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    false awakening

    False Awakening

    1. in-dream datura delirium

      by , 03-03-2011 at 09:55 PM (Wandering in Dream Debris.)
      Pre-dream: I had just received my datura ferox seeds and valerian root from an online vendor yesterday, so I decided to see what effects they might have if I were to consume some and take a nap. I meditated and asked the spirit of the plants that they guide me in the dream world, I gave them my respect and sent them energy. I crushed two datura seeds and brewed them in a tea and drank it whilst my valerian root was brewing. Before I began drinking the valerian I already felt a strange head pressure, almost a headache, and a very deep sedating effect. I proceeded to take the valerian tea but by the time I finished I felt very heavy and was feeling slight delirium in my thought process.

      I laid down and watched my hypnagogic imagery and was promptly shown an eye that was in the center of my vision, staring at me. Unlike other times I believe I've seen my third eye, I think it was lady datura this time because it was glaring at me and promptly after I fell asleep and had a few disturbing dreams.

      I had various fragments of random visions including taking care of some kids I didn't know that were vomiting water and I kept panicking not knowing how to deal with the problem, running up and down a mountain trying to avoid jaguars and shadow people, and lastly being cornered in front of my sister's house by a pitch black grizzly bear. The dream with the bear was the most memorable probably because it was the last one before waking up. It would morph into a cub to seem less sinister and would approach me but then it would morph into a huge black grizzly and try to attack me, I'd randomly find pointy but short objects like daggers or forks to defend myself with and I'd proceed to stab it whenever I could, trying to survive.

      What happened next was the disturbing part though because I had stabbed it numerous times and it was on the floor choking on its own blood and it was no longer the menacing bear but instead an innocent little puppy. At this point I thought "Oh my god I took datura and now I'm delirious and just killed an innocent puppy and was hallucinating. I have to hide it's body. Did anyone see me? It's broad daylight. What have I done?!" I never noticed I had fallen asleep or was now miles away from home at my sisters house for no apparent reason. I saw the poor animal gasping for air and I couldn't stand it so I tore (yeah, tore, with a fork thing, because I had no knives) its throat open so it would die instantly and stop suffering. It was very grotesque and detailed, I hated every second of it. I had blood all over my hands and felt like a psychopath, how could my life ever be the same after this?

      I woke up soon after with a few false awakenings and imagining seeing myself doing random things like ironing clothes, taking bread out of the toaster, and pouring myself a glass of water, only to find myself back in bed.

      I would never go to waking life delirum doses of datura but I do plan on continuing to take 2-3 seed doses for oneiric purposes. I feel that Lady Datura is testing me but I'm not giving up that easily, I'm gonna fight off the night terrors until I become lucid so I may speak to her and find out why she tries to invoke fear in her users.
    2. WILD within a non-lucid dream.

      by , 01-25-2011 at 08:55 AM (Wandering in Dream Debris.)
      I wake up in my room, except its from the previous house I used to live in. I'm nonlucid so I accept whats going on as reality, but then I try something that really has had me confused since having the dream. I lay down and close my eyes and try to induce a WILD. I see some HI behind my dream eyes and I even start to get heavy vibrations go up and down my spine, then I get a rushing feeling go to my head (and like in previous WILD attempts) I hear a white noise and an odd "ping!" sound when I know i've made it inside the dreamworld. Except this time instead of the "ping!" noise, it was actually the sound of getting a coin in a Super Mario game, more precisely from Super Mario Galaxy where you hear the sound come from the little speaker in the Wii controller. I mean, exactly, like that.

      I then find myself in a black abyss where a dream forms and I'm playing a new Mario game I've never played before, it was really fun actually, it felt light years beyond any console game I've played. It was a strange mix of first person, side scrolling, and 3D platformer at the same time? This whole time I'm completely in control and "lucid" in the sense that I knew I was dreaming... I just didn't know I was already in a dream to begin with and there was no need to WILD in the first place! So I guess it was semi-lucid.

      Anyway it was lots of fun. Well, up until Bowser killed me and as soon as he did, I woke up. But not in real life, but rather in the bed and that old room I used to live in. Still of course convinced, that I'd woken up and thinking "aw man, what a short WILD".

      Looking back at it now, I understand the argument brought up by Inception (and of course before it as well, on this forum) between those who believe that layered dreams are real and those who think its just that we perceive them to be layered but are in fact just one dream. I'd like to say there's no such thing as layers, but after having experienced it myself, it's a fascinating idea and it felt pretty convincing, but I'm undetermined until I have more practice and experience with the subject.

      Updated 02-02-2011 at 08:24 PM by 37090

      lucid , non-lucid , false awakening