nightmare

I had another nightmare about Elliot on Sunday night. I was babysitting him with one of my bar customers, Denny, (who in waking life is an insufferable human being and he was no different in the dream world) Denny was working on something in the grass and Elliot was asleep on a blanket (He is 2 now but in the dream he was just a baby again) I go over to help Denny with whatever annoying request he has and Elliot wakes up and crawls over to a very small stream, more like what happens when you leave a hose running on the lawn and the water starts to pool and run, and stuck his little head right in the water. I ran to pick him up out of the water but he had already rapidly bloated up and turned into what looked like a very strange imitation of a baby. Once I realized that he was dead I shutdown whenever anyone in the dream tried to talk to me. I kept thinking, this is a dream, this has to be a dream, this cannot be happening (and it was, thank goodness) but it all felt so real. I remember seeing a photo of Julian, Sydney and Elliot all together and happy.
This dream tainted my whole day with an undertone of dread.

I just experienced my first WILD or OBE. I was trying to take a nap for about an hour when I suddenly had those scary vibrations running through my body. iI kept myself cam and instead of fighting them like I always do I felt my body go into paralysis. It was not as scary as I thought it would be, just letting go. Not a long time after that , I felt as though I were being pulled by my right hand up towards the ceiling. I couldn't open my eyes at this point (throughout the entire experience I could barely open them, I felt very weak) but I knew I was still laying on my side. As my arm was being pulled upwards I had the sensation of being picked up under the shoulders and I was placed in the opposite direction on the bed. It all had a very muddled quality to it, I remember opening my eyes and, my knees were on the floor and my upper body was laying on the bed, it turned into some kind of dream within a dream and my lucidity was momentarily lost to a dream.

My room essentially looked the same but there were things on the side of my bed that crackled like a plastic bag when i stepped on it. The dream I fell into was babysitting Elliot and I was throwing him up in the air and suddenly a man was behind me putting duct tape on my and his mouth. I remember then being back in my room not yet awake, though I thought I was, and trying to remember how to write this down, I was in front of my closet and I had what felt like tunnel vision, I could barely see anything and I had the sensation at one point that someone/ something else was in the room with me and that did end up scaring me into trying to move my physical body. I think thats when I realized I was still in bed and tried to really wake myself up. It is very difficult trying to pull your body out of the paralysis stage, I know it is nothing to be scared of but I'm not sure if I will ever feel completed at ease in that state. It was a very interesting experience..I'm not sure what I was expecting but that certainly was not it.