memorable

I saw my fear of going to university... Not making any friends OTL.
It is for the first year students. For the first two weeks, we were familiarize ourself to university by
routinely doing things as a group (eating luch, going around classes like a pre school student)
(chicks following a duck)
As I pass a classroom, I spoted one of my best friend. She was focused on her studying.
At a lunch time. 1st year student had to eat lunch in this very dark and deep pit-hole looking tower
(That seems to have no end to it) I didn't realize it was a prank, so me and my other friends
sat in one of the brightest looking spot... As I was eating rice... I got scared of the pit hole ...
It looked like a hell's gate... warm, moist filled air swooped with some disgusting smell of garbages...
It was just ... unpleasant.
I kept on shaking on my chopstick and end of spreading all my rice on everywhere, including on my friends' lap...
They got sick of it... and try not to talk to me afterward... (made me feel abandoned... behind a group)

As I reflecting on my dream, I realize it was a fear I have, going to university... where I do no know anyone.
That fear allows me to avoid anything involving the university (making a timetable... keeping a deadline)
It's also one of my biggest stress... which makes me even hard to LD.

"You need to be awake in a real life, to be awake in your sleep."

I need to face this fear for my sake to have a nice LD.

I found this beautiful dream in Korean.... So I'm translating this right here ^_^

The air was crispy clear,
I was flying sky high like a free bird.
Floating with fluffy clouds,
A blue light shot from the ground.

A pub with a cowboy atmosphere,
I looked around to see an old man and a devil;
Pointy ears and pointy teeth.

They were casually talking and drinking,
Like old friends.

I had a sudden feeling that
They might solve a question I longed to figure.

I made my mind and approached to a devil.
The devil stared at me; a passionate red light embracing me.
The devil opened his mouth and spoke;

“Do not try to find meaning in your life.
Meaning generates infinite riddles with no answers.
You have a heart; do what you ‘feel’ like.
That is a sole purpose, a duty in your life.”

It is the devil’s advice,
Unreasonable offence engulfed the wisdom.
I talked to the old man, watching;
The old man stared at me; a knowledgeable purple light embracing me.
The old man opened his mouth and spoke;

“What are you worrying about?
Act as you feel like,
Do not worry about the result ahead.
Reflect once you get there.
You are the one who perceive with action.”

I take a memo of their wisdom,
An answer might have stayed within my deep conscious.
It was a good dream.


Comment:
Dreams reflect our subconscious; results of the same dream can be completely deferred by situation and a person. It needs intuition and a conscious trust to interpret them.
Flying the sky is the new start with new vision. The blue light shot from the ground forced ‘me’ to face the reality; the pub.
The old man and the devil talking is a coexistence of emotion and wisdom.
The old man is wisdom and intelligence, a devil is a repulsive resistance against reality.
The red light is passion. The devil’s talk is not a belief or a notion, but chants for exposing an emotion, a life and a red passion. The purple light is wisdom, urging ‘me’ to focus on the action more than a mere thought.

I still clearly remember a nightmare
I had at the age of seven.

A dusty basement surrounded with gray walls.
A very old wooden chair; making a creaking sound,
Stood alone in the middle of a barren room.

There was a little bar at a ceiling,
Showing a handful of light,
Strangely lighting the raggedy old chair
Like a spot light.

I was at the corner of the dark room, crouching.
Watching the whole scene without motion.

A gust of dry wind gave me goose bumps.
I felt loneliness, sadness
In a queerly jailed like space.

I was… … crying.


The dream was not scary, but my mother told me I was shouting…
I stated the dream as a nightmare for tears. But it still makes me wonder…
Why did I cry?

Once upon a time,
There was a girl with a heartless soul.
God gave her beauty, intelligence, a good family… everything except love.
This ‘almost’ perfect girl with a pretty smile had a grey monotone mind that disgusted other people.

One day,
She got sick of her family, staring her like a monster,
So she ran away.

Promising herself,
‘I will never return home.’

It was a time when a yellow field filled with dusk
While watching this gorgeous scenery,
She hums her favorite tune in a carefree mood.

A girl who carries nothing,
................worries nothing.

Even the weather seems to praise her freedom.
A wind filled with spring moist carries a few petals to her cheeks,
Foxtails tickled her fingertips; she made a crown with white and pink cosmos.

Like a dapple on a white cloth,
There is another presence in this picturesque scenery.
He is the one who calls himself God, whose infinite power cost him to be partially colour blind.

He cannot sense red.
For God, the gloomy world is full of dark things; green, blue and black.
Ironically his favourite moment of the day
Is a twilight when everything flickers with red.

Even a poisonous snake looks gorgeous as a part of the scene.

For God who views only cold things, a time that seems to embrace every nature,
Gives enormous relaxation that washes all tiredness piled throughout a day.

The magic happens only once every day,
So he puts an extreme value to this time.

It was like every other day,
Drinking a sourish sweet chamomile and enjoying warmth of the time.

Then he sees……

A girl with a white one-piece colored with orange dusk,
Leisurely skipping and humming at the same time.
She has the ‘complete’ colour, including red, to decorate her beauty.
Her curly hair with red light bounces with her footsteps.

She was …… as if …… caught in the magic…… of dusk.

Her fair baby-like skin has this attractive, warm light; glowing.
It was the colour God had never seen in his zillion years.

It’s warm… Beautiful…
If there is a goddess, that MUST be her.

Just in that instant, he falls in love with her.

She’s mine.

Her special heartless soul did not matter to the special God.
He can see it; wide and clear.
A chocolate coloured sound, beating with soft sugary emotions,
A red passion that God becomes so attached.

Without her knowing,
She became ‘extremely’ valuable to God.

The God smiled like a fragmented moon and wooed to a trembling girl, who is to become his…
…Lover.

You may harm the others
But if you ever dare harming ‘me’


I will……








Kill you.

Over there at the far sight,
There is a couple, fighting with their veins showing in their necks.

Like all the other quarrels between husband and wife,
They are supposedly ‘arguing’ about their child’s education.
Wife is nagging her husband, and husband rolls his strong, iron hands into fists and trembles.
Their bloodshot eyes clearly show they ‘will’ strike one another in few moments.

A shrimp like child seems to be squeezed between two angry whales,
Unable to decide anything,
But helplessly and nervously rolls his eyes like tennis balls.

Why adults do fight?
Why don’t they just DO a rock, paper and scissors and follow what the winner says?

He just doesn’t get this situation with his small head,
But this is the first time he realizes that rules at a preschool do not apply to adults;
Especially to his parents.

An old lady at the scene calls for a pitiful chick.
As the rescued child rushes, the old lady smiles warmly,
And embraces the child with her loving heart.

“Tut, tut… Kids are raising kids nowadays…”
She cautiously and softly patted the back of the child.

She’s like Mama,
A scared child dangles some tears, and shyly tries to hide himself by smothering himself into the old lady.

For such lovable action… the kind old lady

“Ha ~
..........Your journey of suffering ….
.................................................. ..Starts RIGHT HERE……”
.................................................. .....................................Sneers

“Huh?”

‘Did I just hear? No…. I think I’ve just heard something I’m not suppose to.’

As if to reward the chaotic confusion the child has,
The old lady gives her best, sweet warming smile and says,

“Despair… … child.”

Although he is an indiscreet child yet to know the complicating adult world,
He unconsciously slaps this ‘very’ spiteful old lady.

Lights shone from the side of a bus window warms my body.

There is none of the usual hubbub,
But only silence exists in this suburb city,
The bus is driving without a driver,
Heading to a place unknown.

I am the last person to stand on this earth.

I stepped off from the driverless bus
Only to find a bubble gum machine
Filled with rainbow coloured balls.

Everything feels like……Charlie and the Chocolate factory.

Long shadows overlap my view,
I turn to see…… two giraffes.
This definitely must be a dream.

I am perplexed
For I never had a dream as awake as this one.

One of the smaller giraffes blankly stares at my eyes.
What do giraffes sound like?
Awkward silence fills the atmosphere.

Fluffy fur ~ So Cuuute ~~~ ♥

The black eyes twinkled with moisture
Reminding me….. …..

Just then
Clumsy footsteps with clouds of dust,
Notify its presence

I turn to see a herd of humans……?
Darwin’s way of human evolution
Stares at me for a long time.

Are they waiting…… who…… me?

I guess it’s true that you are getting stronger in a jail.

Soooo boring…..
I’ve been sleeping half a day
(That is 12 hours, 720 minutes, 43200 seconds of sleep) x 3 days ~!!!!

Tormented with rambling thoughts
I decided to train my weakening muscles and dispersing mentality
Sit ups become handstands to push ups.

2167, 2168, 2169 …… he he
Now that I think of it… it’s sooo nice in here without any harm…

Eh?
Disturbed mind disturb a motion.

“Hm… two thousand nine hundred thirteen…?”
I must have murmured this out loud, for all of sudden an old speaker on the wall starts to creak
Then NEET, lazy voice of panda leisurely says

“It’s two thousand eight hundred and forty, ass-hole.”
I startled and stumbled to the back
And heard some more mumbling over the speaker

Probably a mouth full of sugar coated cheese cake …
I am positively sure that his blood is made out of sugar.
Sweet treat for mosquitoes.
May you be blessed with them, Amen.

Comes to think of it…… wait a sec… … you

“Not a stalker.”
So you mind read now? Then…

“Simple thinking pattern, once in every 0.84 seconds, do the math.”

I agree
............“Is… is that so…”
.....................................reluctantly.

Can’t figure what this stupid genius is thinking.

“Same here”

I REALLY don’t like him.

<-- Detective L, the Panda

Attached Thumbnails

 

One icy winter night,
I questioned her around the corner where even cars scarcely drive.

It is upsetting to admit this,
But she hears my words one ear to another.

Giving a hollow snort and empty smirk,
She blankly stares at some unknown place.

“Ever been into a bottomless pit?”
Orange street lights shone her side,
Hiding the other half of her sorrow.

“No I just… you’re keep getting hur…….t”
A black car passes, leaving its red light on her.

“Don’t you dare.”
Like a knife chopping a vegetable,
She looks straight into my eyes and firmly says

“E.v.e.r.”

With her conclusion,
She takes a deep breath and jumps from the rail road.
Like always, showing her back to my side,
She goes far away to a place I do not know.

What is the burden you carry on your small back?
The question dims with the white steam of breath.

“There is no exit.”
She seems to be self-mocking her own fault.

Over there,
Where a vacant lot densely filled with tall weeds,
Stood a tall tree for decades.
Villagers nearby had a strange story of a lost child, strolling;

“Ma… where are you?”

“Ma… I miss you.”

A motherless child blankly cries for its mother.
People tentatively speculate
An abandoned corpse lies beneath the tree,
Waiting and wandering

Mama……

A small tree at the time of a child’s death
Burgeons into a luxuriant tree.
The taller it grows,
Higher and farther a child visions.

Mama……

Avoiding and whispering
Supposedly about the damned tree.
Villagers feel the eerie note to a child’s voice;
Enamoring adroitly.
A warning goes into one ear out the other,
I look up for this infamous tree.

At the top its companion
There is a child wearing a raggedy straw hat,
Incessantly gazing at one place;

Mama……

A pitiful child with
Lingering attachment and memories
Still has eyes full of tears