Xanous' Dream Journal

#249 - DILD - 4:49AM

So I was listening to some crappy dreaming podcast and they mentioned mirror meditation to view past lives. I looked it up and it all sounded like something I wouldn't actually do but I thought why not try in a lucid dream? So that was my task for this one.

The first thing I remember is walking on a street on a warm sunny day. I suddenly hear a loud wet fart coming from the street drainage system. I laugh and assume its connected to a bathroom some place. The smell is horrible. As I try stepping over the gutter, I fall face first in the street. My movements feel sluggish and slow. As I lay there with one cheek on the warm asphalt I think this sensation feels familiar and I am missing something important. Before I realize its a dream I am able to walk again.

I make my way into a house. I still smell shit and wonder if its me. I go into a bathroom and check myself. I'm good so I make to leave. There's a cat in there wanting out but put it in and start to close the door. As I do, I notice a bowl on the counter full of cat shit. I wonder if that is the source of the smell and lean in to check. I sniff and decide that has to be it. I close the door then pause. I realize how odd it is to have cat shit in a bowl so I open the door again to take another look but the bowl is now gone.

I become lucid and remember my mirror task. Conveniently, its a bathroom so I look up and see myself in a very large mirror. I stare at my face waiting for it to change but it just looks blurry. Then, I ask, "Who was I before?" My entire reflection fades out and I see my face on another smaller person to the right. As I watch my face morphs in to a little girl who looks just a little bit like me but not anyone I could recognize. She is shirtless and has long brown hair in a ponytail. I gasp, "I was a little girl!"

She turns and walks out so I look for my reflection and it reappears. I worry that the dream will destablize and I really didn't expect for that goal to go so fast, so to stabilize while I think of something, I clap my hands and just watch my reflection while I think. I notice a few times my reflection was actually a little slower than my dream self. I laugh a little but mostly ignore that little dream hiccup. Then, I realize I too am shirtless and begin to feel very naked. So for fun, I stand on the counter to see my entire body. I am even more shocked when I have a vag! At first I freak a little and feel for my penis but all I feel is vag. Not just vag but it feels very small. I rub it a little but get no pleasure from it. Then I decide this is a all a joke and I laugh out loud. I say "I'm a girl."

I turn to the open bathroom door and see a dude walking by. I spread it and shout, "Hey! I'm a girl!" He ignores me but I briefly get some OpheliaBlue ideas. I think I don't really want to go there. Besides this is all too funny for that. I walk down a hallway with my naked hairy man body and little girl vagina shouting, ,"Hey, Look at me. I'm a girl." I turn a corner and blindly enter some room. Both of my daughters are playing and they freeze when they see me. The look of horror on their faces makes me pause. I have that awkward moment of inaction and I suddenly feel completely embarrassed. After a moment I slowly back away saying nothing. Thankfully, my wife rolls over waking me up.