Ezpata's World

Couldn't find the motivation to journal. I completed the last few tasks that are part of ToTY last night. Will journal them tomorrow.

I still had time, more than enough to finish this. Traveling back to '69, I went to the Apollo 11 launch site. The thing had just taken off, so I had to race past him. It was nice, because this made it interesting.

They were pretty fast, but I was faster. I eventually caught up with them and overtook them. I sped to the moon as fast as I possibly could, and got there.

A short entry, but all it took was to get to the moon before them, and I could've done that by traveling back a day before and coming here. This was by far the easiest task so far.

[B][U]Task Of The Month[/U][/B]
Why are the walls purple? Oh yeah, dream. Before going to bed, I had just freshened up on the ToTM and the ToTY. I decided to work on the ToTM first, since it was smaller in scale to the ToTY.

I flew around until I found an art gallery. Plenty of paintings in there. I saw that one painting, "The Scream", and figured it'd be interesting enough. It took a few minutes for me to devise a way in. Eventually I just put my hand on it and told it to let me in. I was drawn into it then, almost absorbed by it. I found myself inside now, and it looked very... artsy, I guess? I don't know, look at "The Scream" and that's what it looked like. It was then that I heard a sound that was like someone was scratching the chalkboard in the innermost region of my mind. Looking over, it was the screamer. I turned off my hearing to keep him from killing me with such an awful sound. I remembered that I was one a time clock, so I looked around for something to bring out of the painting. Someone was carrying a plant for some reason, and I thought: Why not? It'd look cool on my fireplace mantle. I took the plant, and left the painting. I told it I wanted out, and it graciously acquiesced. I took the plant back to my place, and put it on the mantle next to the Brownie Camera. Time for ToTY.

[B][U]Task Of The Year Attempt #6[/U][/B]
It took a minute to think about, but I remembered I had to go to the launch site of Sputnik 1. I found it just as it was about to take off, how fortuitous. I latched on as it took off, and rode it like a horse into space.

It was moving pretty fast, and I felt like I was going to be thrown off at any second. I kept my grip as firm as I could though, and managed to make it into space. There wasn't much to see, and it was kinda boring. I wondered if there was some time limit as to how much I had to stick with this giant hunk of space metal before I could leave. I waited for about ten minutes, but we just kept moving... in some indeterminate direction. It's space, man, it's hard to tell what's up or down. I decided that I'd been here long enough, and grabbed one of Sputnik's smaller antennae and went back to the cabin. I decided it would just be better to teleport this time, so I would conserve time. I put the antennae on my mantle next to the Plant from Screamland. Then I woke up to check the ToTY and to try in the next dream.

Back to sleep, I had used a DEILD. I didn't have much time left, so recalled that I had to go to the Atomic bomb testing.

Traveled to 1945, and moved as fast as I could toward the site. I got to the facility pretty fast. I found a scientist and asked him when and where the bomb would be going off. "About five minutes, and quite a ways that way." he pointed to his left. I told him thanks and flew off as fast as I could. I stopped right in the middle of that little fake town you always see on TV.

I waited the five minutes, and then I heard it. A high-pitched whistle that honestly chilled me to the core. I got a little nervous when it was coming down, wondering if I should move away. Before I could make a decision though, it hit me.

The feeling, I can only describe as heat and death. It felt like I was in hell. And this feeling of death loomed over me like a bird circling over my corpse. I was winded afterwards, and I was blind. It must have burned out my eyes, I guess. It was time to wake up, and I needed an escape from this feeling of dread anyway.

After waking up and checking the tasks, I checked around and instinctively knew this was a dream. It was time for the Hindenburg.

After traveling back to 1937, I found myself near the Hindenburg already. It was already in the air, and I didn't know what the exact date was. I flew up and phased into the airship. I found myself in some sort of cocktail lounge. I walked up to a waiter here and asked what the date was "May Fifth, sir". The date didn't sound right, but this was the Hindenburg and it had to crash soon, right?

I didn't take chances, I used Time Dilation to make sure I didn't waste too much time on one task, and waited around. After a few hours, in which it had turned to night, I was getting bored. So, being careful not to be noticed, I threw a few guys out of the blimp. I phased them through the walls and windows to make sure no one noticed them. I also noticed there were no women around.... sad. I summoned some and had a... sexy party.

The next day, I was walking around the airship again. It had been a long time since I'd gotten here (or it felt like it). I finally felt like there was an explosion, and saw everyone running around. I felt the ship falling, grabbed a parachute, and jumped out a window. I pulled the cord and gently floated down to safety. I could've flown, but I wanted to try out the parachute :P I watched the ship crash and blow up. It was pretty cool looking. I'll have to blow up another airship sometime. I remembered then that I was still on ToTY.

Woke up, looked around. It seemed normal, but my alarm clock said "Donkey", so I did an RC. Yup, dream.

I thought about what I wanted to do now... oh yeah, ToTY. I tried to remember the next one, and it took a few minutes to remember the TV thing. Traveling back to 1925, I raced for.... okay, why the hell is there a brontosaurus? Must have gone too far back.

Went to 1925, correctly this time, and sensed for a TV I could watch. I found one a little ways to the west. I didn't bother knocking on the door, just walked in. There wasn't anyone there, guess I got lucky. I walked over to the TV and flipped it on. There were a few images flipping across the screen, a guy, a lady, a few logos, a dragon, a car... wait a dragon? It ran on a loop, and yes there was a dragon. Odd, but I guess such is the nature of dreams. I needed to wake up; my goal is to be the second person to complete these things, and I needed to be quick.

I don't normally dream twice in one night, but doing the ToTY demanded I do it. Next was the Titanic.

Looking around, realized I have no idea what I'm doing in the middle of a desert, do an RC. Remembered I had to work on ToTY.

Traveled back to 1912, in front of the docks where the Titanic would be shipping off. I didn't feel like fighting just yet, so I conjured a ticket to fool the sailors. A nice relaxing boat ride ending in tragedy would be just what I needed for some R&R.

Using time dilation, I managed to keep myself there for the full five days. The first two days, I didn't do too much. I played some chess, wined and dined with a few uppercrust socialites, and spent some lazy time up on deck.

The third day was pretty interesting, got into a few fights when drunk sailors decided I looked like I could be picked on. Didn't feel like causing too much trouble, so I beat the shit out of them and tossed them overboard while no one was looking.

The fourth day I spent mostly in my cabin (I had thrown someone overboard one the first day so I'd have a place to chill). Let's just say I may have a few more children. And that women will be really experimental on a boat.

The fifth day. The day of the wreck. I waited for what seemed like hours until night fell. I had told a few people that we were going to hit an iceberg, but no one believed me. The ones who called me a fool met with... unfortunate accidents. I finally saw the iceberg ahead, and watched as the giant ship lumbered toward its fate. People were freaking out, screaming and shouting. It was rather annoying. I decided I'd experience this from the ship, so I pulled up a deck chair and sat while it all happened around me. People were shouting at me now, wondering why I wouldn't leave. "I'm here to watch this historic moment. Besides, if I didn't, I would fail at my attempt for the Task of the Year, wouldn't I?" They didn't know what I was saying of course, but it felt good to say it. When the ship hit the iceberg, all hell broke loose. The details are sketchy, even to me, so I won't try to recant most of them. but the ship went down like everyone thinks it did. I gave one last look out to all the people in lifeboats. "What a bunch of pansies." I thought. I sank with the ship, and floated for a few minutes before deciding it was time to wake up.

Looking around, see that the sky is purple, decide this is a dream. I'm right, of course. I figure I should try doing the Task Of The Year, I skipped over it last year.

To add a little challenge, I'd try to do them all in chronological order. The first one was The Brownie Camera thing, If I'm not wrong.

Travel to the year 1900. Head to Boston because... why not? I look around for a Brownie Camera. I land in the middle of the street, and ask some guy where I can find a Brownie Camera. "That guy looks like he's got one." I look where he's pointing, and there was a guy with what looked like a box with a tube sticking out of it. I don't know if that's what the Brownie Camera really looked like, but the description never said it had to look like the actual Brownie. I walked up and took it from the guy, something he didn't really appreciate. "Hey! I just bought that!" "Your point being?" "You can't just walk up and steal something from somebody!" "Well I just did it." I put the camera back in his hands, and took it again. "And I just did it again, what are you going to do?" He got mad, and tried to attack me. I threw the camera into the air, ripped the man's eyes out and shoved them down his throat. I caught the camera as it came back down. I decided to document my awesome achievement, and took the photo with the camera. The picture was developed a little while later. It was grainy, and really hard to see what was in it. I traveled back to the present time, and went to my house in the woods. I framed the picture, and set it out in the living room. Drunken debauchery was next on the list, but I do that every night, no reason to journal it.

A night of drunken debauchery is always refreshing, wouldn't you say? It had begun innocently enough; I blew up the world, restarted it again, found some kick-ass parties, drank a lot, did some things I might regret in real life, and possibly fathered at least four children. Okay, so maybe not so innocent, but it was fun.

I remember flying into some guy's house, and seeing his walls adorned with thousands of pictures. I'd recognized the guy from a little while before at one of the parties.

I looked at him, "What is all this?"

"Pictures."

"No shit, Sherlock. Why all the pictures?"

"I've collected them all. From parties throughout the years. I've stolen them."

"... Why? Why would you do something like that?"

"Because."

"..."

"It's the One Thing You Can't Replace."

I got out of there. It was time to wake up anyway.

As soon as I open my eyes, a strange man attacks me with a parasol. I quickly sidestepped, as he was trying to bring the top down on my head. I grabbed the parasol, but he decided he wanted to have a little tug of war. It ended when I extended the knife in my boot and kicked him where the sun doesn't shine. With the parasol in hand, I shoved it through his stomach, making sure to hit every major organ I could. One doesn't leave these things to chance after all. I lifted him up above my head while he was still impaled. I extended the parasol then; causing his body to explode into soccerball size chunks.
"Ew.", I said, "Things got a little messy.". I looked around. Upon doing so, I immediately regretted it. This was a trashed bar, with bunnies on fire and a bunch of meth-heads running around. Well, they looked like meth-heads; what with the way they moved. Then one of them threw up on my shoes. I grabbed a kitchen knife and stuck it in his left eye. I left him there, screaming and writhing around in pain. You don't fuck with my ensemble.
I walked outside. Things were just as hectic. I was starting to think all of New Cambodia (a place I invented and kept around) was high on meth. Oddly enough, the bus was still running, despite all the looting and general insanity of the place. The door to the bus opened, and I look to see Charlie Sheen in the driver's seat.
"Charlie! How's things? I haven't seen you since we burned down that forest!"
"Well, if it isn't ol' Ez.", he said with a grin. "I'm fine. Trying to get out of the city; gonna see if there's anywhere safe left in New Cam."
"Wait, Zuzen (the city I was in at the time) isn't safe? Why not?"
"Jesus, you don't know?", he looked at me incredulously. "You're in charge around here, and you don't know?"
"You know, you can start explaining any fuckin' time."
"Get in."
While driving, Sheen explained that some kind of otherworldly terror had come from some place called "The Distance". It had been terrorizing all the cities and towns before Zuzen. It had appeared in the east as some kind of dark cloud. People had gone to investigate, during which what seemed like an army emerged from the cloud. Horrific things, armed with all manner of hideous weaponry. Like a plague, they'd swept all the way to Zuzen, which is about halfway across the whole of New Cambodia.
"Hold on.", I'd said to Sheen at one point, "New Cam has it's share of badasses. There's Kurt, Leo, You, Ark, Lynn... hell, even Abel and Stalin. Why did none of them do anything to help?"
"We tried.", Sheen said, "But there were just too many, man. We couldn't hold the line. We killed so many of them, but there weren't enough of us to keep them from spilling over into the rest of New Cam. We almost lost Lynn too-"
"What the fuck?!?", I screamed, "I told Kurt to keep an eye on her! And Leo too!"
"Relax!", he yelled back, "She's alright. Those things almost overwhelmed her, but Ark and Leo managed to get her out of there. At that point, it was agreed that we couldn't do anything to stop it. We headed back to Jonestown."
"I s'pose that's where we're heading now?"
"Yup yup."
We didn't talk for the rest of the ride. There was really nothing to say. I was still a little pissed about what happened to Lynn, and he was probably still angry I blew up about it. After all, Lynn had proven she could handle herself.
We were fast approaching Jonestown. It was an old, stone fortress converted into a city. A while back, I had cleared the town with Leo. It had been the stronghold of Kaiser, an old foe long since dead. Sweeping the streets hadn't been that difficult. As per usual though, I had to put up with Leo's too-calm demeanor. Seriously, the guy can rip three mean in half, gouge a man's eyes out, and then stomp a man's jewels until they pop and never change his facial expression. He always tried to give me tips on my philosophy too, like he was my own personal Socrates.
We got out of the bus at the front gate, as the streets were a little narrow for a double-decker. The gates didn't open at first though. About three minutes passed. What was Cal doing? Cal operated the gates, and didn't do this often.
"Cal!", I shouted up at his window, "What's the hold-up?".
No answer. I muttered a few swears under my breath, and kicked the gate down. It fell with a very heavy thud. I thought I heard a few screeches then. I stopped and listened for a few seconds, but I didn't hear them again.
Sheen and I walked into town. The first thing that struck me is that no one came out to see what had happened with the gate. The thud was loud enough to hear for a long ways, it seemed, but there was no one at all. The streets were empty. Jonestown isn't densely populated by any means, but there was absolutely no one.
"Sheen.", I said.
He answered, "What?"
"Was Jonestown evacuated?"
"No. There was no reason to evacuate it. When I left, The Distance hadn't even reached Zuzen yet.". After a second he said, "Something is definitely not right here."
I nodded in agreement. I heard the screeching again then, and a trashcan nearby fell over. We continued on, at a faster pace this time. Sheen didn't have to say anything for me to know he was just as creeped out as I was, and I suspect he got the same feeling from me. We pressed on in silence.
Eventually, we reached The Corridor. A secure base for refugees I created just in case something happened. I made a Corridor for every town a while ago. I could only hope the one in Zuzen was alright.
The security of Corridors couldn't be better. Seventeen twelve inch thick steel doors, laser turrets, cameras, mines, robo-guards, you name it. We passed through every security checkpoint, and finally made it to the control room. Leo was watching the monitors.
"Yo.", I said to him.
"Hey. How was the trip over?", he replied, in that odd tone of voice. Leo was a white guy with dreads (I know, you think it's the mark of a tool, but it works for him), a scruffy beard and generally looked like a hippie. He was anything but.
"Not important. What happened to the town?".
He turned around in his chair, "What do you mean?".
I just looked at him for a second. "What do you mean 'What do you mean?'? Jonetown is completely empty; devoid of life almost!"
He looked at me quizzically, "Really? We didn't hear anything down here."
"Wasn't it on the monitors?"
"There aren't any cameras on the outside that connect to here."
I was about to say something, then that statement actually hit me. Why had I not built cameras outside?
Sheen cut in on my thought. "That seems like a rather glaring design flaw."
I looked at him, "Don't remind me."
It was then that I could feel myself waking up.
"Looks like I've got to go guys. Hold down the fort while I'm gone."
And I was up.

I was being dragged through some kind of hall... it was grandiose, and the walls were adorned with a lot of pictures of some pissed off guy. I was immediately lucid. After all, it's not everyday you're dragged down a big hall owned by an even bigger pissed off narcissist. Things were a bit hazy, like I was just waking up or something. I looked up to one of the guys dragging me.

"Oi, big boy. This draggin' shit is giving me a wicked carpet burn, how's about lettin' me walk on my own two legs?"

He then replied with a very thick Russian accent

"You will be dragged all the way. There be no lee-way for traitors." He was pissed about something.

"Look, Ivan, you're probably angry about.... not getting vodka I guess? Russians were always weird to me." He doesn't respond. "Alright then, you must be a sober guy. That means you beat your wife, correct? Or is that your buddy Mikhail over here?" I motion to the other guy dragging me.

"Mikhail", as I called him, was obviously ticked off, but Ivan was still not paying attention.

I sighed. This wasn't helping. I slipped out of my body just so I didn't have to deal with the carpet burn for now. The russkies continued dragging my body until we reached a rather large door. The door opened by itself, which would've been scary if they weren't the same gaudy yellow as the pillars in the hallway. We opened to a large room. I jumped back into my body.

"Finally, a room without yellow. You guys could really use a re-decorator. Some chandeliers, a splash of green. Maybe it wouldn't look like a fuckin' pleasure palace after that."

Ivan then hit me in the stomach with the butt of his rifle.

"Oooh, you're gonna have to do better than that, Ivan. My grandmother could hit harder, and she's dead."

Ivan got pissed, but he didn't do anything else. Then I heard a voice coming from ahead. Another Russian accent.

"Welcome... traitor.", The guy from all the pictures in the hallway then walked out of the darkness. "It seems you didn't manage to keep your lips shut about our business This mea-"

"Oi, Jackass!", I interjected, "Before you go on with the boring speech, can I get some aloe or something for my legs? I got a wicked carpet burn from your rug in the needlessly long hallway."

He was obviously ticked now, making the same pissy expression he did in the pictures in the hallway.

"Silence!", he then got right in my face, "Why did you sell the secrets to the Americans?"

"Dude, first off, what the hell is going on?"

"You!, that's what, 'dude'.", he put a really sarcastic tone on the word "Dude". "You were working with the KGB, and sold secrets to the Americ-".

*Cough*, "Dude, you need a tic tac or something. Now, lemme guess. You're Joseph Stalin? And I was working for you, and I sold secrets?"

"Yes."

"Okay. Now that we're clear on that, how did you find out?"

"A friend of yours dropped by.", he said with a grin, "Abel, could you show yourself?"

Then that rat bastard came out of the shadows as well. (To tell you what he looks like, he was wearing a brown military outfit, he had blue hair with black as coal eyes. We'd met before, in a dream I didn't journal) He was holding a chain or something in his hand.

"Hello, Ez.", he said in that annoyingly harsh voice. Oh, how I loathe him. I wasn't going to let him get to me though.

"Hello, Abel. I see you survived the clusterfuck that was your little Camp."

He twitched, but only for a second. Still, I could tell the little camp incident was still bugging him.

"Oh, I don't care about that anymore.", Liar. "I got this little parting gift at least.", he then pulled the chain, revealing a battered man. Shoulder length brown hair, full beard. Yup, it was Kris. (Kris was a DC in The Camp, I met him when I burned the place down, as he had been wanting to do the same thing for ages. He also talked with a cool Irish accent.)

"Well.", he said, "This is embarrassin'".

"It sure is, you fucker.", I said, jokingly. They tried interrogating us for a while, but torture doesn't exactly work when you just switch off pain. I finally looked over to Kris,

"I'm bored now. I say we get out."

"I'm down.", Kris grabbed a machete they had tried using during the torture thing, and lopped off Mikhail's head. I put my hand up to Ivan, opened it, and blasted him away with an Uber Bolt. Abel tried to slice me with his sword, but Kris blocked him with the machete.

"Get out of 'ere", he said, "And get Stalin!", I chased after Stalin then, through a hallway adorned, again, with the crappy yellow color. A few guys tried getting in the way, but I took care of them with more Uber Bolts. I finally came to an open area.

"Where are ya, russkie? I know you're here!", A hail of machine gun fire blasted me off my feet. Good thing I can take quite a few bullets. I got back up, and Stalin was in a ten foot tall robot, with miniguns for hands. He unleashed another lead wind, but I managed to keep from being hit. I sent a few Uber Bolts his way, but they weren't doing any major damage. His pauldrons popped up to reveal missile launchers. I'm sure you can guess what he did with them. I deflected a few missiles, and sent one flying back at him. It hit his head area, shutting down the robot. I tried to get close to it, but Abel appeared in a blinding flash of light.

"Well," he said, tired from his fight with Kris, "This wasn't a [I]total[/I] failure.". He disappeared in another flash of light, along with the robot and Stalin.

Thinking back on it now, I really wish I knew what he was talking about. I woke up after a reunion with Kris. He didn't know anything either, but next time, we're both going after these guys.

I'm in a deserted area. For some reason, Amy Winehouse and Charlie Sheen are there as well. Winehouse seemed... well, high. No surprise there. Sheen was... high. and Angry. Again, no surprise. I ask what Sheen is so angry about, and he says, "We've got to stop the damn ponies from raping the fucking sheep!!!". Okay. So this will be a weird one. Check. Anyway, the sheep appear to be beyond the swamp, which appears out of nowhere like it's where David Copperfield grew up. After stumbling through the swamp for what seemed like hours, we finally found the ponies. Except, they weren't ponies. They were weird squid things with man appendages and three eyeballs, each the size of a basketball. Straight outta H.P. Lovecraft. Winehouse started freaking out, and trying to hit them with a stick. I used my Boomstick (No, I'm not talking about THAT, you immature assholes, who have apparently never watched Evil Dead), but it wasn't having a major effect. Uber bolts were a tad more effective, but wouldn't kill. Sheen had the right idea though. He lit his fists on fire, causing each of the creatures to explode into confetti when he hit them. He then summoned a cloud and whooshed through the air. Grabbing Winehouse, I flew after him. "What the hell was all that??!??!??", "Well, I wasn't exaggerating when I said all those things." I was about to ask something but he then said, "And yes, I did marry a tree.". Well, I WAS going to ask it. After a while, we couldn't find the sheep or the "ponies". After a while, I just said, "Fuck it, Let's just burn down the whole damn thing.". To which Sheen responded, " SWAMP BURNING, BY GOLLY GEE WILLIKERS LET'S DO IT!!!". Winehouse, however, said this: "I can't do any swamp burning, I'm already on a quest for One-Eyed Willie's treasure", and then hopped off like a schizo jackrabbit on meth. Oh, and a rainbow was coming from her back. Sheen and I then burned it all down. We never found the sheep or the ponies, but we didn't really care. Sheen got wasted, and I decided to wake up due to the craziness.

After becoming lucid, I noticed a group of people gathering and preparing to enter what looked like a concentration camp. I was flying at the time, and thus decided to come down to them and ask them what was going on. "Oh, we're signing up to become members of this awesome club." I tried telling him about the concentration camp thing, but he didn't listen. "Look man, Abel would never lie to us.". I decided he wasn't worth my time. I infiltrated the camp later and looked around. I found the conditions were less than favorable. People made to pay for private rooms, otherwise they got a little shed made mostly out of thin paper. The longterm members talked of vulgar things, which was really disgusting. Nothing seemed to be owned by the members, as it was all taken and, presumably, brought before this Abel character. I figured I should try to free these fools who were suckered into this.

I started the assault by blowing up a new members shack WITH MY MIND AND I WAS ALL, PYEEEOOOOOOOWWWW! I then turned my attention to a members log, a place where I heard a lot of the vulgar talk before. I blasted it with my Uber Bolts, which go PEW PEW PEW PEW, BOOOOOOOM!!!!

Unfortunately, I woke up then.