Katsuno's Awesome Ninja Tales!

Last night I don't remember anything. I got 10 hours of sleep but my memory is nothing. Zero.
It's as if I was in deep sleep for the whole night.

I even meditated before going to bed.

This is weird now but I'm just gonna continue doing ADA until results show.

Last night I was so tired of not sleeping the night before that I totally forgot meditation.
However, REM-rebound kicked in and I had awesome dreams.

1st: I was visiting the local carnival with some friends. We walked around in a huge tent with lots of people drinking beer and stuff. My friend gave me some money and we both bought the stereotypical bavarian beer. I tasted it and it was so tasty!
We then walked around some more while getting a little bit tipsy from the beer. We met other friends and that's about all I remember.

Interpretation: I couldn't get the chance to visit the actual carnival this year and I was really angry. Probably some regret-memory of mine.

2nd: I was on a castle with lots of wizards. I was a wizard myself and I had the Fairy Tail mark on my arm. Suddenly a huge army approached the castle. We were told to defend it. A bridge was seperating the castle from the army. Suddenly a huge dragon appeared and just crushed my mates. I tried to attack the dragon but it was way too strong for me. The army approached and we tried to defend the castle but we just couldn't. At some point the castle was overrun and we lost.

Interpretation: Fairy Tail rocks! I love that anime and almost every night I dream of it now.

3rd: I was sitting in the bus to my village. Some random strangers sat next to me and talked about how they drink lots of water during the day. I told them that I barely have any water with me when I go to school and we had some random conversations. I felt some kind of 'vibe' from myself that showed that I was very confident.

Interpretation: Pickup dream, I flirted with one of the strangers and I felt like I could totally control the conversation.


Had another dream but it was very personal so I'm not gonna write it down.

My plans for tonight are a little different. I'm gonna continue doing ADA but when I go to bed I'll try some self-hypnotization experiments. I've read something on a different DJ and I want to try it out.

Had to stay up all night because some friends of school slept over at my house.
I did a lot of awesome awareness training and I finally found out that I'm not doing ADA to get lucid but rather to increase my overall life quality...life is just more intense if you are aware of all the sensations.
Maybe this will help the awareness to carry over into my dreams.

So for tonight I'm gonna continue my "Don't even try to get lucid" method and hope that my subconscious will force me to do a RC.

Okay, last night I didn't get lucid again. But I think I know why...so I came up with a way to change this now.

I'm in a hurry so I can't write much. Short interpretation of my dreams:

1st: Dream about a girl I dated and something about a waterpark.

Interpretation: Memories and wishes to meet the girl again. Waterpark was probably a memory of my childhood.

2nd: Dream about visiting my dad for the last time, he was about to die. I was really sad and cried in the dream. Then something about our new cat being really cute lol

Interpretation: My dad is really sick and he's probably gonna die soon. I always pretend to not be sorry for him but I will be sad if he dies anyway.

Alright, last night some drama happened so I decided to not count it as a 'official' attempt. I'll just do whatever I did yesterday for today.

Here's my short DJ of what I remember:

1st: I dreamed of playing Stacraft against someone. We built lots of Motherships and he defeated me in the end.

Interpretation: Memory/Wish of me playing starcraft again.

2nd: Dream of me playing Basketball against some people. I felt useless and lost the game in shame

Interpretation: Fear of me being bullied because of not fulfilling expectations.

3rd: Dream of me doing Parkour and meeting David Belle

Interpretation: Probably memory of me talking to a friend about me becoming David Belle one day

4th: Weird dream about the father of my friend trying to kill me while I sleep. I woke up sweating

Interpretation: No idea xD

Alright, last night the results blew my mind.

I can remember 8 dreams and almost everyone in detail (which I'm going to write here shortly) and I had about 4 FA's where I did ADA. Also, I got a feeling of how my dreams feel.
In the following I'm gonna write my dreams and also I'll try to analyze them.

1st Dream:

I only remember this dream vaguely because it was the very first dream I had. Basically this dream was a whole rehearsal of a video I watched before going to bed. It was about Pickup and I even knew that I was going to dream about this when I went to bed. But instead of fighting it I accepted the fact that I would eventually dream about this video and well, I did. I woke up after this dream (after about 4 hours of sleep) and knew that this knowledge was now memorized in my brain.

Interpretation: Well, you dream about what you've seen that day (especially if it was right before going to bed). I'm kinda glad because dreaming about something you did during the day strengthens the knowledge.

2nd Dream:

This dream was pretty weird. At first I was in my car with my mother and we drove around in a nearby village. Suddenly the water level rose and there was water on the street. We tried to drive away but the road to get out of the village was blocked by water. Everywhere I could see people trying get away or trying to block the water. In the dream I remembered how I've seen this before (IRL) and I parked the car at the highest place in the village. Suddenly the water level rose again rapidly and all the cars on the road were flooded. I told my mom that we are lucky to have parked up on the hill. For some reason I was now at the road standing in the water up to my knees.
My mom told me to get to the car so I started walking. Suddenly the water rose even higher and I had to swim. The water looked like a swamp and it was really really deep...just like swimming in a lake. While I was swimming I woke up.

Interpretation: I actually drove over a flooded street some days ago so I guess this dream was just an old memory getting mixed in the dream.

3rd Dream:

This dream was some kind of nightmare. I was the dude from the game "Postal" (which is extremely brutal and scary sometimes) and I was walking along a huge hallway. I felt like I was in hell (which is a place where you go in the game at some point) and I had a sledgehammer and a revolver. Suddenly some mutated hell-dogs attacked me. They were huge, red, bloody and extremely ugly. They tried to jump me but I could hit them with the hammer and just smash their skulls. Then I took the revolver and shot them but they took about 3 shots to die. Suddenly one of them got me and tried to bite me in my face. I managed to throw it off and just destroyed him with the hammer.
I reached some kind of door and woke up. The whole dream I had a negative and scary feeling.

Interpretation: I don't really know why I dream of this game, haven't thought about or played it for many months. But I was always kinda scared of it so maybe it's a unresolved trauma.

4th Dream:

In this dream I started on a huge field of grass. In the distance I could see some kind of tower made out of dirt. On top of it was a platform. The sun was shining and the whole atmosphere and the environment reminded me of Fairy Tail anime. I approached the tower and there were 2 people which I didn't know. One of them was standing on the platform always falling down and climbing back up, the other one was on the ground looking up to the guy and screaming something like "You can do it!".
I just jumped up the platform somehow (I don't remember) and when I was standing on top of it there were 2 new people. They were both characters of Fairy Tail (Erza and Natsu I think) and I hugged Erza. Somehow I felt like the Natsu was Lmrhone and I was like "Wow, we're in Cardia!". I didn't recognize that Fairy Tail has nothing to do with Cardia lol
That's about all I remember and I woke shortly after.

Interpretation: I got no idea what those 2 guys earlier were doing. I only laughed about how he tried to constantly get up the tower. Maybe something about how I laugh about people who try too hard to do something IRL...
And the other thing was my wish to have a SD and go to Cardia I think.

5th Dream:

This is a compilation of multiple FA's but I'll treat them as one dream. It happened after I went to bed with the intent to be aware and do ADA. Well, in the FA's I woke up and did ADA but I didn't realize it was a real dream due to False Awakening. That's why I switched my ADA routine to do a RC at the end everytime.

Interpretation: Not much to say about this, usual FA after going to bed with intent.

6th Dream:

This was a Parkour Dream. I was in some foreign city walking around in my usual parkour clothes. I reached a park and some jerks were trying to climb up a roof and yelled "Parkour, Parkour!". I was like "Whatever" and ran up to a different house. It was perfect for parkour so I climbed up and after some actions I was on the roof.
After that I got bored and walked around the city. I then met a girl I know from class and we talked. That's all I remember.

Interpretation: My usual ego trying to brag when I see people doing things not the way they are supposed to do

7th Dream:

I was now at a huge beach. There was a gigantic ship that resembled the ships the vikings used. I walked to the ship and entered it. For some reason all my classmates were inside trying to row. They wanted to sail across the sea to the other side of the beach (which was completely stupid because it was just like 50 meters and the ship was so huge).
I sat down and helped them to row. We talked about some stuff I can't remember and when we reached the other side I got out and woke up again.

Interpretation: Memory of meeting my classmates.

8th Dream:

It was night. I was in some kind of huge garden. I was able to use magic and I walked around looking for something. Suddenly some enemies appeared, they looked like small wizards. I ran away and got to a graveyard. I don't really remember what I did but I think I fought using magic and the whole area reminded me of Fairy Tail and Tera Online. At some point I woke up, very short dream.

Interpretation: No idea at all. Lately I like the thought of being able to use magic thanks to Fairy Tail anime


Alright, that's all about my dreams.

My plans for today/tonight are to keep doing ADA (actually I'm doing it right now and I can't really stop anymore) and meditate when going to bed. And well, I'll just go to bed without any intentions other than to keep the awareness up.

Here's the current situation: I've been out all day and I'm physcially and mentally tired. Luckily I'll go to bed early so I'll get about 10 hours of sleep.

My plan for tonight is to figure out a way to get lucid in a dream (DILD). I've re-read the ADA tutorial and I noticed that I did it improperly for a long time. I'm changing this right now as I'm trying to be aware of everything that happens while I'm writing this entry. I can even notice how my fingers hit the keyboard.

When I go to bed I'll meditate for about 20 minutes, trying to completely clear my mind. And when my mind is clear I'll go to bed.

There's nothing to win and nothing to loose, I won't be mad if I don't get lucid as I'll try to get rid of my ego. If I don't get lucid it simply means I have to change something, there's no mistake.

In case I don't get lucid, I'll write down exactly what I dreamed of, how I felt when I wake up and basically anything that I can notice. That way I'll be able to figure out what I need to change.

One thing is important though, and I just figured this out while writing a PM to Windy: I will do the opposite of what I'd normally do now. Instead of thinking about getting aware in my dreams before going to bed (after meditation), this time I'll just try to be myself in my dreams. My real self is doing ADA all the time so by not trying to change myself I should have a pretty decent chance of getting lucid
Also this takes care of the self-fulfilling prophecy of telling myself to wake up in the morning to write down my dreams even though I should be able to wake myself up after my LD's (which basically makes me expect to not get lucid in the end).

Let's see if just completely being myself and stopping my ego will be the solution.

.
Alright, this is the beginning of my upcoming 30-Day challenge to become able to have lucid dreams every night.

In this first entry, I'll write down my goals for the challenge and also the basic things I need to improve.

As I write this basically just for myself I'm not even sorry for any grammar errors.

Basic requirements for the challenge:

-I will go to bed at 8 pm everyday during the week and around 10 pm at weekends (unless I'm going out at night to improve my social skills).

-I will keep a detailed Dream Journal to analyze how the things I've done during the day affect my dreams.

-I won't use any external help like alarms or isochronic-tones to aid in lucidity.

-I will meditate for at least 20 minutes a day (everyday).

-I will not give up before the 30 days.

-I will not, under any circumstances, make any excuses just to protect my ego.

-If I don't have the chance to sleep (for reasons such as going out at night), I will add another day to the challenge until I've successfuly done it for 30 days.

Goals

I want to:

-Be able to erase my fear of not being in control of my mind.

-Learn how to wakefully induce a lucid dream (WILD) and adapt to the new situation every night.

-Finally do something until the end without quitting beforehand.

-Understand how my dreams form and how my non-LDs behave so I can be able to find a way to get lucid in my dreams consistently.

-Become a better person through meditation and to be able to control my emotions.

-Be able to get lucids even when pressured so I can finally participate in the IOSDP's experiments and projects.

-Understand how dream time works and how to influence my perception of time in the dream.

Dream Goals

-Become my RPG character Matsukio and explore Cardia.

-Meet Windy in a shared lucid dream.

-Fly as high as I can and then just freefall to the ground until I hit it, hopefully simulating the pain.

-Find out what my deepest fear is and then confront it to get an adrenaline rush.

-Practice Pickup.

-Create an awesome location for Parkour and activate real life gravity to make it more challenging.

-Learn how to do close-combat.

-Completely indulge myself in frustration and anger and enjoy the rampage.


More Dreamgoals will follow when I actually have success.

3 Types of Motivation

Negative Motivation: I want to surpass everyone else to brag about it. I want to compensate for everything that has happened to me in the past and live out my revenge. I want to use Shared Dreaming to hurt everyone who has hurt me in the past.

Neutral Motivation: I want to be a better person and improve my life quality. I'm doing this only for myself aiding my self-growth. I'm doing Shared Dreaming just for fun.

Positive Motivation: I want to refine my knowledge so I can teach others how to prevent the mistakes I did. I want to help other people to improve their lifes. I want to show the world that Shared Dreaming is possible and open their eyes.


Alright, that's it so far. Starting tomorrow I'll write goals for every upcoming night, what I want to improve that night and how I plan to do it.