Katsuno's Awesome Ninja Tales!

Alright, so I'm done with my break for the challenge. I celebreated a lot with my friends but now they all went to other countries and stuff.

During the last few days I had a lot of time to think about myself. I realized that I shouldn't fight my 'traits' but rather use everything to my advantage. I also thought about my LD-past a lot to figure out why I'm not a natural anymore (There was a period of about a month where I was a natural with LD's daily).

So last night I got a epiphany. I already wrote it in the IOSDP-thread so I'm gonna copy&paste it:

When I went to bed I thought about this 'less is more' theory. I remembered that there was a time, where I used to have DILDs daily without putting any effort in at all other than doing 'something' for about 10 seconds each night. I had forgotten what this 'something' was, but last night I finally figured it out again: Back then, I experimented with Tulpa and created my own Tulpa. He was supposed to make me lucid in each dream. And for some strange reason it worked! I got lucid every night for a period of about 3-4 weeks. After that I went into an emotional crisis and it stopped working forever. I became a victim of my own self-fulfilling prophecy when my Tulpa told me that he will never ever make me lucid again.
So last night I thought about something...

What if it wasn't the Tulpa itself that made me lucid rather than just me needing 'permission' to become lucid?

And then it all made sense. I've always needed 'permission' for everything I did so far. And almost everybody is like this. The human mind always searches for permission to do something. Everything needs to make sense to keep the order in your mind.
And by giving the responsibility to my Tulpa, I kinda bypassed giving me permission.
In a way, it all makes sense (at least for me lol). Even doing RC's isn't for doing the RC's itself, but for being able to tell yourself that you 'earned' the right to lucid dream. You feel like you need permission.
Somehow even this 30-Day challenge is like this. We are 'earning' ourselves the right to be a natural (at least subconsciously). It all comes from this frame of mind we grew up with that you gotta work to achieve something.

But this isn't the point I'm trying to make here. When I realized this whole 'permission' theory, I tried to analyze myself again. Who am I? How do I act in certain situations? How can I become a natural?
What I found out was (I even made a list of my 'traits' and possible solutions) the following:
I'm almost always just observing my dreams, I get doubts if I think about something too long, I'm really good at visualizing things, I'm lazy and in most of my DILDs, I got lucid through some kind of trigger. I've never really done any RC or became aware just like that. I always needed some kind of 'event' to happen in the dream to get myself to do a RC.

For some odd reason I've never realized this before. The solution seems so simple to me now: Instead of bringing myself to do a RC by saying a stupid mantra, I need to manipulate the dream in a way that makes me do a RC.
And in addition to that I need to: set an alarm or do it before going to bed (lazy), I need to do it for about 5-10 seconds (getting doubts) and I need to create many dream signs that make me lucid, maybe even create a whole dream-scene (visualizing).

I really think that this will work for me. I mean, it's created based on my true personality.
Manipulating the dream...sounds kinda nice to me

Sadly I couldn't try this out last night as I was so tired from not sleeping the night before. I went to bed at 7pm and slept till 6am without waking up a single time.

Here are the dreams I remember from last night:

1st: I was playing Arma 2. I don't remember it in much detail because it was early in the night. Apparently me and a couple of other people had to clear out a hideout of some other players. I had a sniper rifle. That's about all I remember.

Interpretation: Again, Arma 2. Also, if I dream about video games I'll never to ADA as I'm not 'IRL'. At least that's my dream logic. Another reason for me to try out this new theory.

2nd: I will call this dream 'The rollercoaster of doom!'. It's pretty short but when I woke up I found it to be really hilarous even though I was scared to death.
The dream was about some kind of movie. The movie was about a rollercoaster that was possessed by a ghost and it killed every passenger. In the dream I was just observing again. I watched how people got on the rollercoaster and the horror began. The rollercoaster started to drive really fast and then it stopped instantly. Through the force of the sudden stop, some passengers were killed already. It looked like they were cut in half by the iron bars that were supposed to protect them...yummy.
Then the rollercoaster started again and it was now above some kind of sea or lake. At first I thought that people were going to drown (I tried to guess what would happen in the movie as I was just observing it) but then nothing happened to build up tension. Somehow I got really scared just by watching this. Now the rollercoaster was in some kind of huge factory. It was above water again but there was something swimming in the water. I got scared as I guess that this was some kind of creature. The rollercoster turned upside down and all the passengers were right above the water with their heads now. Some old lady was like "Hey, there's somebody swimming in the water!" and tried to reach for this 'thing'. I got extremely scared for no reason and woke up from this 'nightmare' just as something was jumping out of the water. When I woke up I was scared to death for some reason. Then I noticed that this is so hilarous and that I got scared from a rollercoaster...crazy how your mind can fuck with you lol.

Interpretation: I got no idea. Just me watching a movie I guess...the rollercoaster reminded me of a rollercoaster I've been to as a child. And the sea/lake looked like something I've seen in TV a while ago.