dream fragment

Dream - Lucid

I was at work at the bakery. I was walking by a room where the managers were having a meeting. None of them were in their work clothes. I saw my manager there. Her back was to me and her hair was half pulled up in a short, high ponytail. I thought about how different she looked when she was back here working.

I then had to approach her about something. We were still inside, but I had to wade through this high grass that was flooded with this milky white water. The discoloration of the water was caused by chemicals that were being used on the grass for some reason. I was worried about the chemicals making me sick. I finally got to the other side. I looked down at my leg, and there was this huge bruise that took up my whole kneecap. It then started to move around on my leg. I wondered if I was seeing things, but no, it was clearly moving. I then saw this weird brown streak coming from a healing scab. Someone, a female employee, pointed it out and asked what it was. I thought it was a sign of infection in my blood, as was the moving bruise. I was afraid that it would move to my heart and kill me. I started to panic. I said
"I need to go to the hospital. Call 911. Call an ambulance!"
I then started to overflow with panic, thought about the ambulance fee, and I passed out.

I was feeling like I was buried beneath consciousness; I felt like I was out quite deep. I started to surface, and when I opened my eyes, I saw that I was at work, sitting next to my manager, Shannon, on a grey bench attached to a wall. I guess nothing was wrong with me. I looked down at my knee, and it looked better and less bruised. I looked up and asked Shannon
"What happened? Was I just panicking?"
She responded
"Yes."
She then gave me a copy of the hospital bill. It had a description of everything they did and how much it cost. For instance, the used a strong anti-anxiety of some sort to calm me down, and that cost $321. That's the only figure I remember though. It listed the life flight to a different state's hospital, which was in a jet instead of a helicopter, evaluation, and showed that I was good to go home that day because nothing was wrong with me. I felt bad because I didn't want to waste anyone's time, and I felt like I had.

I then was behind the counter, and I was trying to call my best friend Mk. I got her voicemail. Her voice sounded like she was on the verge of tears. She said the usual, that she wasn't available, and then she started to apologize for something about some chemical company she was apparently working for. Then she went on to say leave a message. I then noticed a customer, a woman, and I quickly hung up the phone and said
"I'm so sorry! I was trying to call my friend!"
She gave me a smile and a stare, as if to say she knew and I shouldn't have been doing that.
"What can I get for you?" I asked with a smile.
She then started to walk to the other side of the case to point out what she wanted, and then I woke up.

~

I was leaving the apartment to go to work or something. Dallas was there, and it was daytime. I opened the door to leave when my cat, Belle, ran out. Ugh, I really didn't want to chase her down. I waited, trying to see where she would go. She paused, and then started to go down the stairs. She got to the bottom, and instead of a parking lot, it was a small grassy field. I finally got to her and grabbed her. I remember grabbing her tail and another part of her and pulling her to me. I picked her up to take her back inside.

Then, it was like she was a child, and asked if she could go out to this different part of the field when I got home. I told her no. I think I told her no because the spot she wanted to play in was muddy.

~

Something about work, about me clocking in late a few times for some reason, like from coming back from lunch and being late getting to work. I was worried about getting fired. The rooms I was in for a lot of this dream were dark. Something about someone calling my current manager by her real name, Sherry.

~

I was working at the bakery, and had been there for only a week. I was sitting in this very large back room at a long table. Across from me sat my old manager, Sherry. She was my manager again now. Also, my friend Courtney S. from my old job was working there now too.

I then was in another part of the back room. As I entered it, I saw racks full of perfectly iced coffee cakes and such. Courtney S. and Patti, a lady I work with currently, were both back there. I knew Courtney had done the racks of perfectly iced coffee cakes, even though she had only been there for a few days. I asked her what I needed to do. She told me that I needed to scrub the doors. I think they were doors to the ovens. I then started to do it. I also had to get on a step ladder to clean on this blue, cylindrical fan-type thing. It was caked with bread dough. It was used to cool it down, or something weird, I'm not sure. At any rate, I had to use this special tool to scrape the dough out. I didn't use it at first, but then I switched to it. It worked much better. I kept thinking about how pissed I was that I had to work under Sherry again, when she was part of the reason I quit my old job in the first place. I "remembered" speaking with the old store manager, a bigger woman resembling one of the customer service managers I work with IWL, at the same place I first saw Sherry working there, in the back at the long table a few days prior.

When I finished that chore, I asked Courtney what I needed to do next. She was telling me how to do the floor. I had to flood it. I asked if I needed to squeegie it, and Patti said yes. I remembered doing that before at a different job (IWL the only job I have done that at is the one I'm at now in the bakery). I started to do it. I saw lots of bread crumbs and such.

Then, I was sitting on my bed in my childhood room. The bed was even in the place it was when we first moved in there. Dallas was sitting on it with me, but...he was a baby. Like, he looked like he does now, the same size and everything, but he was a baby. I had to try to keep him from falling off the bed. I then had to pick him up and carry him, though I wasn't quite sure how to do it correctly. I picked him up with one hand under his butt. He was so heavy, and it felt awkward to carry him. I had to adjust my grip so I wouldn't drop him. I even commented on it, saying I wasn't sure how to do this right. I then remember seeing his hair styled in this weird, curled fashion, with it being curled in on both sides. He liked that hairstyle, but I thought it looked silly. But it was ok since he was a baby.

Dream - Lucid

There was a girl with glasses that a very deformed neck. It looked like a huge mass of melted skin was on the back of it. She had to have it on this thing with wheels, kind of like a walker, to get around it was so big. She had a tattoo on it. She was showing it to us.

I was in high school marching band again. I remember saying something to someone about it, telling them I couldn't wait until I didn't have to be in it anymore. We were on the asphalt practicing. The sun was setting.

~

I was living in a neighborhood instead of an apartment complex. Two people I know IWL, Meg and Alicia, were moving into these tiny, studio apartment-type houses. Alicia's husband was also moving in with her. The houses were right next door to one another. I saw them moving in, and the apartment was so small, when you opened the front door, you could see the bed right there. Alicia's sister and her husband, Andrew, were somehow involved in this as well.

I knew they both smoked weed, and I knew that now that they lived there, the second we hung out again, I'd be smoking again too. I wasn't worried about it though. I thought that I could control my habits now. In the back of my head, I knew that I wouldn't be able to in reality, but I didn't care. I just didn't want Dallas to find out. I was really excited about smoking and having such easy access to it.

I was then hanging about with Alicia. Her husband wasn't there. I don't remember where we were, but we were just chatting, when she asked if I wanted to smoke. Hell yeah! I really wanted to. She went and grabbed a bong from somewhere inside I think. She then was asking me about having sex while high. High sex is good, but I'd never done it with a girl. I thought about doing it with Dallas, but didn't know if I would be able to get away with it without him knowing I was high.

I think we smoked, but the only thing I remember about that is thinking that my eyes were red. I was hoping we wouldn't get caught smoking since the house was so small. I didn't want to get arrested or in trouble in any way.

Then, I was talking to someone else about weed. She pulled some weed out that was a light green with white on it. She said it was hydroponic. I smelled it. It smelled good, but not like super good weed. She then was talking about putting it on chapstick and rubbing it in your eye to get high. I then thought that if I did that, my eyes would be really red.

~

I was outside of some store at nighttime. I was writing to my first crush/first kiss, Nick. It was nighttime outside. I typed him a letter, and put three fingerprints on it. It told him to email me at a new email address, and also told him to listen to a particular song. I think my mom helped me type it. I read it over to make sure there were no mistakes. Instead of "Dear Nick," it said "Dear D____", with the spaces being something I can't remember, but it looked like the new email address that I gave to him. The fingerprints were below that, shaped like a pyramid, with two on the bottom and one on top.

After it was sent, I wondered whether or not he would even acknowledge my new email, or if he would just write back saying he had already heard the song. The point wasn't whether or not he'd heard the song, it was the lyrics that I wanted him to listen to.

I was then sitting outside of a public bathroom. It felt like I was at Disney. It was still nighttime. There was a little blonde girl of about 5 and her mom also sitting outside the bathroom on a bench attached to the wall. The blonde girl then started to talk to me. She said
"In my country (she said the name of the country but I can't remember), we can play in the bathroom."
She then was asking me if there were things in the bathroom she could play with while she went. At her feet, there were many children's books. I told her she could take a book in the bathroom to read, and she got excited. She went in and forgot the book. I went over to the stall, which was unusually short, and handed it to her over top of the door.

Dream - Lucid

I was going into Dallas and I's bathroom. It was very dark. I had to get up out of bed to poop. I started to sit on the toilet, when Dallas came into the doorway and started coming towards the toilet.
"What are you doing? I have to poop!" I said. He kept coming. I got up. I assumed he had to poop too.
"Are you really gonna make me use the other bathroom?" I said. He didn't say anything. I took that as a yes. I started to head towards the doorway to our bedroom to go to the guest bathroom. Dallas started to shut the door to our bathroom. I then started to hear noises coming from the living room area, and started to panic a little. Someone was in our apartment. Before Dallas could shut the door all the way, I caught it with my hand. I said something like
"Dallas, someone's in our apartment!"
I started to panic, and all my vision went black. I tried to scream for Dallas, but nothing came out. I then realized that I had been dreaming, and decided to calmly wait for myself to awaken instead of panicking.

I then woke up on Dallas's chest. Phew, just a dream. I was so glad. I then started to hear noises again. I was really confused. Was I not awake? I started trying to wake Dallas up, but he was dead asleep. I pinched him, I tried to yell his name but again, it wouldn't come out. Really? Is this really a dream again?I thought to myself. Vision went black again, and then I woke up for real.

Another 10 minute nightmare. I wasn't asleep long at all.

~

I was at a bowling alley bowling with Dallas, but it was more like ski-ball; we were throwing smaller balls at the pins down the lane instead of an actual bowling ball. There was almost no one there; we were the only ones playing. Dallas then said something about how the bowling alley was closing for good soon; it was going out of business. I looked around and I could see why. It was so dead in there. I then went to throw my ski ball, but it slipped out of my hand and I accidentally threw it behind me.

I then saw a very small child, a male toddler, carrying what looked like a six pack of beer up to the lanes, but it was actually a six pack of ski balls.

~

I had these two cakes made for me. I was at work I believe. Both were big and delicious looking with cream cheese icing on them (freakin yum). One had off-white cream cheese icing with red decorations. I had to do something with them to keep them safe or something, I can't quite recall.

Then, I saw the outside of my apartment. Someone was coming up the stairs. It was daytime outside. Then, something happened; a roll in a bag of rolls died? And it seemed so inconsequential, but I couldn't proceed with anything at all now. It was like playing a Sierra adventure game, where you don't do something in the beginning of the game and you get to the end and you have to start all over. I had to "start over" from a point before that to see if there was anything I missed, anything I could do to prevent the death of the roll.

~

Yay insomnia! Again! Woohoo. Also these 10-minute nightmares are very puzzling to me. It has happened to me quite often in the past few months. I guess what I don't get it how am I dreaming without being in REM? I thought REM sleep came later in the sleep cycle? Like, I will literally be asleep for 10-15 minutes for these nightmares. There was one that I was asleep for about an hour. Anyone have any thoughts?

Dream - Lucid

I was with my mom and some other lady at a department store. The lady was looking for something specific. I split up from them and looked at other things on my own. We met back up at some point, and the lady kept going down aisles. I wanted to leave.

Then, we were at I think my grandparents' place having a dinner in my dead grandfather's honor. There was an empty seat next to me, and then the seat where my grandma was sitting. I thought I saw my grandpa sit down next to me; it was like a hallucination, but then I remembered that he's dead and the hallucination disappeared.

The dinner was more like a celebration of his life rather than one of mourning.

There was more to this one, but I can't recall right now.

~

I was married to Dallas, but Ashley lived with us as well. I had told her she could be our wife too. I "remembered" doing so. We were in our apartment.

I was speaking with Ashley, and she was telling me I needed to give Dallas a bj. I didn't want to, but she seemed very firm about it. It didn't matter; I still didn't want to. She then said I needed to sleep in the room with Dallas at night, and she didn't want me to watch Netflix anymore before bedtime. I thought about myself watching Netflix in a separate room from them at night in bed. I told her I could turn it down, but she didn't care. She then said she was going to take it away, and I said no. I was adamant about watching my Netflix. I feel like she was speaking on Dallas's behalf about all of this.

I then thought about something that I guess I hadn't considered when I had asked Ashley to be with us: We all had to have sex. But...we hadn't. I hadn't had sex with just Ashley, and Dallas hadn't had sex with her either. I thought about how this could complicate the relationship. I also thought Ashley probably really wanted to have sex with me. I had never had sex with a woman before.

~

I had to go to work at Kohl's. I was working my last few days there, finishing out my two week's notice. I walked in, and it looked like I was walking into the back of my job now more than it looked like Kohl's. There were many people back there, though I do not think anyone from Kohl's was actually there. I seem to remember an old friend, Alex being there. A few people saw me, but I remembered that I left something important at home, and I needed to go and get it. I turned around and went back.

Then, at home, Ashley told me that she called and told them that I had drank way too much the night before so I couldn't come in on time. Um...ok. I guess she thought she was somehow covering for me.

I then was driving back to Kohl's, wondering why they were even letting me work since I hadn't shown up for some of my shifts that week. Oh well. As I was driving, I would drive through these areas where the road would get all unpredictable and spooky-looking and the sky was pitch black. I'd look down at my hands, and they would flicker in and out of being a skeleton. At this point, I wouldn't have control over where I was going; the road was skinny and one-way with no room to turn around, and no turns whatsoever. I "knew" about these areas (more "remembering"), and was afraid I'd eventually come to the point where I would be a skeleton for a long period of time instead of just the flickers. I got to a point where I just felt like it would happen for sure, and I started to flicker a lot, but then, I went out of the black area, and I was fine.

I then was in traffic in a small downtown-like area. The sky seemed to be grey as if it was an overcast winter morning. I drove by this small car that had a small trailer hitched on the back of it. It didn't have any walls, just a frame, and I could see that it was carrying a space suit and something else. It looked as if it was about to tip over, and it did. I stopped immediately to help. So did many others. I went and picked some things up off the ground for the guy who was driving. I hoped the space suit wasn't damaged too much; it was valuable cargo.

As I was going back to my car, everyone who helped the man was being congratulated, and being given a reward. I got one as well. It was a bunch of little sticker-type things. I was happy to be getting recognized for helping. I headed back to my car, which was right next to where the accident took place.

I then was at Kohl's again. I wondered if anyone thought it was suspicious that I had left, Ashley said I was hungover, and I came back just fine. Oh well. I then saw David, and he gave me a hug. He then grabbed my butt as he was hugging me. I liked it. I guess he could do that now that I was leaving Kohl's. I guess he had a crush on me or something. I said something to him, but I can't remember what.

After that, I saw Shane. Shane did have a crush on me. He sent me these cartoon movies/comics he had made that remind me now of Tomodachi Life graphics, of him and I being together and having fun. One of them was of him proposing to me. But I was married to Dallas, so that couldn't happen. He did other things for me as well on a computer. He was really in love with me.

~

I was at my current job taking my lunch break. I was eating in some weird corner of the store that doesn't exist IWL with a coworker from Kohl's named Cheryl. We were eating and talking. I watched her talking, and noticed she had a grey mustache. I thought about it for a minute, but I didn't think it was weird. She then burped very quietly. I commented on it jokingly, saying
"You can do better than that!"
She then replied saying something about the burp, about how she couldn't do better than that. I came back with
"I've heard you do better than that!" I "remembered" her burping a little louder in the break room at Kohl's. She laughed. I was glad she laughed; I wasn't sure whether or not she'd find that funny.

Then, her break was over, and I still had some time left on mine. I decided I needed to grocery shop. I went and got a basket, and went to the produce section. I saw these weird, small oval-shaped tomato-like fruits that had zippers on them. I had wanted to try them before. I started to look through them, trying to find one that was fresh. They were very picked over, but I did finally find one, a small, round one. I put it in my basket. I thought about how I needed to get bananas for Dallas and, well, lots of other things. Too many to fit in the basket. I needed a cart instead. I wanted to put my basket down somewhere so I could grab a cart, but I wasn't sure if I was allowed to do that. I put it down on a white counter by the door, and nervously pondered on whether or not I should grab a cart real fast or not. I felt weird and drowsy at this point also. I then decided to ask if it would be ok for me to put my basket down while I grabbed a cart. There were three cashiers working, all with their backs to me. I said
"Hey! Excuse me! ...Cashiers!"
Nothing. They either didn't hear me, or were ignoring me. Whatever. I went out and grabbed a cart. I then went and had to do something else real fast, but I can't remember what. The cart was gone when I got back, however. Ugh. I knew that would happen.

I then went outside. It was daytime and sunny out. I was underneath the overhang. I started to draw with these marker pens on part of the wall. I drew 3 or 4 cartoony faces with just eyes and a nose, no mouth, with an arm. Hard to explain what they looked like. I remember a boy and a girl being the first two that I drew, but I can't remember the gender of the others. I drew them all in a line together, and underneath it, I wrote, in cursive,
"Sarah is dead "
Sarah is my brother's fiance' IWL. Wow. (IWL I don't want her to die!). I had mixed feelings about what I wrote.
To the right of the faces, I wrote something else. Underneath that something else, I started to write out one of my dreams. I then realized I needed to go back from lunch, but I needed to clean this up first so I wouldn't get in trouble. I spit on a paper towel and started trying to clean it up. It was kind of coming off. I was cleaning off these neon yellow and orange smiley faces. They would fade a bit, but weren't going away completely. I then started to rub them a certain way, and they disappeared. I did that to all of it to clean it up. It looked good as new. One of my coworkers, TJ, then came up and said he'd clean up my mess for me, but then, he saw that I already had.

Dream - Lucid

I went back into Kohl's for the first time since I quit. It was nighttime. I went over towards the customer service desk side, hoping that no managers would see me. There weren't many people there at all; I didn't see any customers. David (a supervisor) then saw me from a distance. I was fine with seeing him. He said
"Krista!" and ran up to me.
We talked for a bit. I had been noticing how different the atmosphere felt there, how it wasn't the same place I got hired at when I first started. I heard a girl's voice I didn't recognize paging on the intercom. I commented on this to David.

Then, David led me up to this big, tall black stair step ladder that was over by the service desk. He walked me up to the top of it and told me in so many words that since I quit, I had to stand up there for awhile. He then left to go do something else. I felt silly standing up there so I got down.

I feel as if I encountered David again, but I can't recall any more than this.

~

I was with Cherie' and Jeremiah sleeping in these makeshift spaces outside. It was morning, and I was just waking up in my sleeping bag. It was like we were camping. I had been sleeping in this incomplete wooden structure that Jeremiah had built; it's as if the bottom half of it was done, but it was missing a top half and a roof. The structure also appeared to be partially sunken into the ground; you could see dirt from underground pressing against the incomplete portions of the walls. There was also an orange tent next to it that was mine. I had gotten it late, however, sometime after Jeremiah had built his structure. For some reason, I hadn't slept in it in a few days, but instead, I slept in Jeremiah's structure.

I spoke with Jeremiah and Cherie' a bit. I told Jeremiah how the structure he built looked sunken into the ground; you could see dirt. I told him he was now at higher risk for snakes and pests invading his space. I then thought about how I hadn't slept in my tent in a few days, and my sleeping bag in the tent probably had spiders and stuff in it.

At some point, I looked at my sleeping bag and noticed a stripe of light brown/reddish dirt on it. I couldn't think of how it got there.

~

David was showing me some beta versions of some video games, Star Fox and some other game. The Star Fox beta was originally called "Bunny Adventure", where you played as a rabbit, probably Peppy Hare, in a Banjo-Kazooie type adventure game. A voice was narrating, as if I was watching an ad for the beta version of the game. It advertised the hero as having metal legs, which, in IWL Star Fox, they all do have metal legs. It said other things as well, but I can't remember what. I wondered if there was a full beta out there somewhere of this game since the game play in the ad showed a very complete looking game.

Then, David was playing the game and making all these things happen that weren't programmed into the game merely by thinking about them (a nod to lucid dreaming). He made this Satan-like boss appear, and
all these other dark things were happening too. It felt odd and a bit unnerving to watch him do this.

~

I know I dreamed more than this, especially in the Kohl's dream. The last dream about the beta game is very hard to explain; it had more of a feel to it than anything that was unnerving towards the end.

I haven't really been too focused on LDing these past few days, mostly just from dealing with daily life issues and focusing on work. This has also affected my recall, so it seems. When things calm down again, I'll shift my focus back.

Dream - Lucid

I was thinking about my old friend, Daniel, and how we don't talk anymore. I "remembered" him being at my wedding, which, in the dream, took place somewhere different than it did IWL, a smaller room lit with a dim, mood lighting, but then taking me off Facebook and not speaking to me anymore. I was thinking about this at work, which also looked much different, more like Wal-Mart than a grocery store.

~

No sleep. Like almost none. Long night was long. :/

Dream - Lucid

I was at someone else's house, though I'm not sure whose. I was in a bedroom. Then, I was in the bathroom, and my brother was in the shower. The shower was disgusting. The walls and floor were made out of these big, silver metal tiles. They were covered in grime and rust. Every time the water would hit the tiles, it would temporarily wash the grime off, but it would immediately rust over and be gross again only seconds later. Blech.

Then, after my brother got out, I decided to try to clean them. I used a hose from somewhere else instead of the shower water. It was working! I showed someone, maybe my mom.

I then saw my grandpa walking around. IWL, he died a few months ago. In the dream, I knew this as well. I was thinking that he wasn't real, or he was confused and still thought he was alive. I then pictured a cartoon, caricatured version of him.

Other things happened in this dream, but I can't recall them all right now.

~

I was trying out for a part in some Star Trek-like TV series. I was a co-pilot on a starship with Neil deGrasse Tyson (fux yeah!). The scene was that someone would come onto the bridge and attack us. I had to outsmart the attacker and save us. The attacker was also trying out for the same part. Whether or not I outsmarted them, or vice-versa, determined who got the part. I did this the first time around, outsmarting an alien attacker. Then, the second person came, and she outsmarted me. The audition had barely started, and I knew it was over when I saw her immediately. She had thought of something that the other person didn't think of. I think she came in from another entrance. When I knew I was done for, right as I heard gunfire, I said
"I'm dead."

I was disappointed, but happy for the lady who got the part. She looked very familiar. She was a short, black kind of stout woman. Then, it hit me. I asked someone
"Is that Dr. Bailey from Grey's Anatomy??"
They said yes.
I was looking forward to watching the series. I then "remembered" seeing her on the series. It was like the series had already happened, and I had already seen her in it. She looked a bit different in this TV show than in Grey's.

~

Dallas and I were driving through what was supposed to be my old neighborhood in my old town. We were going to my old house. The houses in the neighborhood were all huge, like mansions. I told Dallas
"My house isn't this big."
He replied saying that he wasn't so sure about that, that he'd heard about my room. I then knew he was talking about my room being a basement. I pictured a stone walkway into a doorway that led to my underground room (did not have such a thing IWL).

We kept driving through the neighborhood, and the houses were getting bigger. One of the houses looked more like a motel than a house. I pointed that one out to Dallas. Some of them looked like they were cross-sectioned, like they were doll houses. Some looked like shadow boxes.



I remember one of the shadow box houses looked like it was a deep purple. It had things inside of it too, like the picture, though I can't remember what specifically.

I then remember being at the house with Dallas. We were in my room. It looked more like the guest room that was in that house in IWL.

~

I was talking to Dallas, trying to remember if an event really happened or not. I "remembered" back when I worked at the coffee shop, Kacey and I had won tickets to go to this coffee workshop thing, and also tickets to go to the moon. I knew the coffee workshop thing really happened, but I just wasn't so sure about the moon. I could "remember" being on the moon, experiencing zero gravity, but it didn't seem like a real memory. Dallas said that I had said that I had really gone, but I had some major doubts about it. I didn't think Kacey went with me to the moon either, even though she had won a ticket as well.

I then was "remembering" being in a parking lot at dusk, walking around, when I saw something that looked like a mixture between a car and a kiosk. It had no front wheels and seemed to be attached to the ground. It was a shiny, silver metallic color and looked very futuristic. Outside of it was what looked like a parking meter, or something you'd put change in. It's really hard to explain this. I did not understand what it was in the dream. At first, I thought it was a futuristic car, but I noticed its lack of front wheels, and the fact that it was attached to the ground. I kept walking and saw another one not far behind it. I then remembered that it had something to do with the moon, something about training maybe? I can't recall for sure.

I was then in a classroom, talking to a teacher who was sitting at their desk. There was another person or two there with me. I was wearing my cat ears for some reason. The desk was across from the front door, which was open. Another teacher walked by that looked like Mr. Marlatt, an AP English teacher from my high school. He stopped and gave us a funny look. He had no idea who we were. He then left, and I joked about what he could have been thinking, saying something like
"Who's that fool in the cat ears?"
I then took them off, but put them back on. I love my cat ears.

~

Very fragmented sleep last night, but at the same time, I slept better than I have in awhile. It was much needed. Lots of interesting dreams too. It seems that lately, I've been dreaming about "remembering" alternate pasts, events, false memories, or whatever.

Dream - Lucid

I was reliving my past, though it was an alternate version. Honestly, I'm not sure where I was, I just know I was inside somewhere. I was watching the guy that I first kissed, Nick, taking these girls into the bathroom with him. I was jealous because I really liked him. I think at one point I went in there with him, but we didn't make out or anything. He was showing me something in there.

This alternate past went on for quite awhile, mostly it was me watching Nick, wishing he would be with me. There was a brief point of lucidity, though it was hard to grasp. It was like I was having trouble letting go of the dream plot. I finally grasped the idea that I was dreaming, and started trying to do other things, when I woke up.

~

I was in Nick's house, though it was a weird house; it was like a mixture between a house and another location. I saw that Nick was in his room, though I did not go in there. I was in a dark, basement-like part of the building, but I could clearly see the entrance to Nick's room, and I could see the kitchen. We were older now. I had been in this building with him for quite awhile, it seems like years, and he had been in his room for mostly the whole time. I did not see him come out. I didn't want him to see me.

I then had to go in there to give him something. I was afraid he wouldn't talk to me. I believe we did talk, but I can't remember for sure.

I then was "remembering" a part of my alternate past again, though it was when we were older and in college. We were talking and having a great time. We weren't together as a couple, but we were quite close with one another, closer than we ever were IWL. We were sitting on some stairs, just talking and having a great time. I looked into his eyes, and saw him for who he was; his light brown eyes were quite happy.

I then was "remembering" us writing letters to each other. At some point during this, I started to "remember" the past more as it really happened IWL, though not to a T; I wrote him a letter that upset him, and he never spoke to me again. I was now back in the present moment. I then had another "memory" of me in a dark room that was lit with starlights, and it was full of small models of the orbiting planets. There was also a picture on the wall of all the planets that apparently I had made. It looked very realistic, as if it were a computer rendered image or a very realistic painting. It wasn't accurate as far as their orbits went, and I had more on on there than the ones we know, but still, it was really good. It was really quite beautiful. I tried to telekinetically take control of Neptune, which looked like a grey rock with an indentation in the middle. I was not doing a great job at it. As this was happening with the planets, I was thinking about Nick and how close we had been and how upset he was at me.

Then, I was back in the present moment, considering whether or not I should write him more letters, though I was receiving no response. I wanted to write poetry to him, but I then thought about how inappropriate that would be since I'm married.

Dream skip, though the Nick thing was still relevant somehow. I was working at a grocery store, the same one I work at now, though I was not in the bakery, but I was doing something else. I was in a different section. It looked like produce, but was not all produce; there were other things besides fruits and veggies, like rice and such. I was working on setting up a display, when a woman approached me, an older, Asian woman with glasses. She asked me about a bag of rice that she had that was slightly opened. I told her I'd get her another one. I took the one from her and gave her another one. She examined it very carefully to make sure it wasn't opened. The bag was VERY slightly torn, and she noticed. I told her it was fine, it wasn't opened like the other one was. She still needed another one, however. Before I left, she told me she needed a 1-pound bag because the one she had was 3 pounds, and she wanted 4 pounds of rice. She was holding up two bags and showing me how one said one pound and the other said three pound. I took them from her to look, one at a time. For bags of rice, they were extremely lightweight. I gave them back to her. As I was leaving to go get one from the back, she shouted after me
"One pound!" as if I didn't hear her the first time.

I went and found one, I think asking someone about it on the way. I made sure that it said 1 pound on the bag. I went to bring it to her, and she swore it said 3 pounds. -_-'

She then directed my attention to another woman, a customer, who looked like she had chain smoked all her life, who was standing at a microphone at a podium to make an announcement. Only associates were supposed to use those. I saw some smoke trickle from between her lips. She was announcing something. The customer then asked me
"What's your joystick policy?" she asked as if she was quizzing me; she knew the answer, but wanted to see if I knew.
"I don't know," I responded. I had never heard of a "joystick policy" before.
She then directed my attention to an associate, a girl wearing the uniform we have to wear, who was standing behind a different podium with a microphone, but she was standing a bit further a way. The customer asked her to tell me what it was. She started to speak into the microphone, but her voice was no clear at all and I could not understand a word she said. I told the lady I couldn't understand what she was saying.

~

On average, I dream about Nick 1-3 times a year. It's usually something vivid too.

Dream - Lucid

I was in a grocery store with many other people. Two people had been let in that wanted to murder us, an older guy and a younger girl. One person had already gotten pretty much killed; his head was being held on only by this full body cast. I knew that once that was gone, his head would fall off. I "remembered" it as if it had happened before. I was being pursued by the girl, probably of about 18-20 or so. She was skinny and had her blonde hair pulled up into a ponytail. I was on the ground in one of the aisles, and she was trying to stab me with this sharp, yellow crystal. I kept avoiding it and was trying to fight her off. I think I may have gotten hit a couple of times, but I can't remember for sure. I was yelling for help quite a bit, hoping someone would hear me.

Eventually, I fought her off. I got the crystal from her hands, so now, she had no means to kill me with. We were both standing up now, facing one another. I remember looking at her face and she just had this evil smile. I also noticed she was wearing some sort of uniform; I remember dark red being one of the colors in it. We somehow got her and the guy out of there. I remember speaking with the guy whose head was beheaded and being kept alive.

Later, we locked the front glass doors. We were standing by them, and I saw the two murderers standing outside, trying to get in. I was talking to someone, telling them NOT to let those people in no matter what. They would try to coerce their way in. They'd try to play on their pity. But they were NOT good people and would kill us. I knew the girl would come back after me. I thought about her getting another crystal. I believe the guy fought with a crystal as well.

I remember at one point seeing the guy who got beheaded without his body cast. His head slid off his body, or almost did.

I then was in a garage somewhere. I saw Dallas in the doorway, and realized, out of the blue, that I was dreaming. I said
"Dallas! This is a dream!"
He had started to speak to me during my exclamation. I wasn't sure if he had heard me. He then said something about it being a dream, so I knew he had.
I went up to him, and felt the dream was going to end soon; it felt a bit unstable. I examined my hands, focusing on their detail, and it worked for a little bit. I was standing with him and started to remove my clothes, when everything around me gained a faint white aura.

I then woke up.

~

I was at the skating rink I used to frequent in my youth. The rink was much smaller than I remember; they had re-done it so it now it was much more cramped, and you could barely skate on it if there were too many people. There were many people there, mostly kids. I looked at the rink from the side area and thought about how cramped it looked, and that it wouldn't be nearly as much fun now that it was like this. I'm pretty sure I had skates on. I remember seeing some of the employees that patrolled the rink, skating around on the crowded rink with the kids, guiding them over hurdles and such. There were just too many people. I wanted to skate freely, not cramped up with a zillion little kids. I also had a point where I wondered if I was too old to be there. I felt kind of weird being one of the oldest people there.

I was there at some point before the rink opened. I wondered if I could skate even though it was closed. There was no one there at least, so I'd have it all to myself.

~

I was dreaming something this morning when my husband was about to leave for work. He was stroking my shoulder IWL, and I kept falling in and out of sleep. I finally woke up so he could tell me goodbye and that he'd see me later.

~

I know I dreamed way more than this last night, and I told myself I'd remember, but alas.

Though I am happy for the lucidity I've been having lately, even if it's just brief. I have been lucid WAY more lately than I have in a very long time, dare I saw ever. Usually I'm lucid on average once per week when I'm focused on it. I've been lucid every other night just about. It's been a huge change of pace. I'm happy for it. Hoping it continues. I guess I just need to keep doing what I'm doing, meditate more regularly, and use more intention.

Dream - Lucid

I was in a very large room with many people. The walls were a cream color. We were singing in some sort of choir. I was standing towards the front, and turned around to look behind me. There were people ducking and screaming.
"It's a bat!!" I heard someone scream.
I then saw a bat swoop down behind me. I was trying to get away from it myself, when it landed on my hand and bit me. It left three small puncture wounds on my hand. I was panicking a bit, because I knew I needed to go to the hospital.

There was more to this one, but I can't quite recall.

~

I was working in a jewelry store. I went to open shop. I got there, and Rachel was there, too. Her parents owned the store (I worked for them at a coffee shop 7 years ago IWL). They were there as well.

The store opened, and a girl I knew in high school, Amanda, came inside. I think she was returning something. I thought about it, and thought I had heard that her fiance' was dead. I didn't say anything to her, but approached her and gave her a hug. She didn't hug back or say anything, but I wasn't offended. I finished hugging her and walked the other direction.

I then remembered that I had forgotten something at home. I asked Rachel's parents if I could run home and get it real quick. They said I could. I left the store.

Then, I saw this scene of a stag in a beautiful forest. He was sitting in a tall grassy area. Sunlight was peeking through the treetops, and everything it touched shimmered. I then saw some glowing thing. I do not know what else to call it but that. It was a round shape and was glowing in faint rainbow colors, but you could mainly see white. There was another one in the back room of the jewelry store too. I think it also acted as a portal. Rachel touched it, and turned into a scarecrow. She could then approach the stag. She stroked his fur, and he let her.

It then got to a point where I did the same thing. At first, I could see myself in third person being the scarecrow and approaching the stag. But then, it was first person, and I was stroking the stag's fur. At first, I was expecting him to run, but he didn't move a muscle. I started to speak with him. He spoke to me in a deep, male voice, talking about scarecrows and how we came to see him (he did not realize that all the scarecrows who had seen him were all different humans). We spoke of other things as well, though I can't remember.

Eventually, I went back to the jewelry store.

Then, I was shopping at a grocery store in the produce section. I was looking for grapefruit so I could eat it with my breakfast for a healthy kick. I saw these small fruits inside these circular holders, kind of like the ones cups are in at fast food restaurants. I went to pull one out, and it was cutting it into a square shape as I pulled it. I saw that it was a type of melon, so I decided I didn't want it. I went to put it back, but it wouldn't go back in now that it was cut; it kept sliding out. I then kept looking, and spotted a bigger white fruit in a similar holder, but I read the sign and saw it was cantaloupe. Ugh, why couldn't I find a grapefruit? Someone, a female I believe, came up to me and asked what I was looking for. I responded
"A melon. No, a cantaloupe. No, a grapefruit."
I think she showed them to me. I can't quite recall.

~

I was laying in my room, but it was a part of a much different apartment than the one I'm living in currently; it actually seemed to be a mixture of my apartment and my dad's old practice. It had many rooms all lining the same hallway on either side. In fact, my old roommate, Cherie', still lived there. So did her boyfriend, Jeremiah. I was debating on whether or not I had time to get up and shower.

I then got up, and walked into a bathroom (there were a few bathrooms in this apartment). Jeremiah was in the shower. I got in with him and started washing my hair. We were laughing and having a good time. I think I put my arms around his neck. I noticed that the water was kinda cold. I guess he liked showers the way my husband likes them. I didn't mind the cold much (though I do IWL).

I then had to get out, I guess Cherie' was coming home and was going to shower with him. I had only washed my hair though, and still needed to shower more. I saw my reflection in a mirror of my hair. It was already dry, and looked very wavy and shiny. I figured I could get by with just shampooing my hair and it wouldn't be a big deal. I needed to wash my face, though. I couldn't get to my shower stuff anymore because Cherie' and Jeremiah were showering. So instead, I pretended that I had my bottle of face wash in my hand, and started to pump some on my finger. I felt nothing. I kept trying however; I put it on my face, rubbing it around. I felt it a little, but not much. It felt dry. Probably because it was.

I then walked by another room, which was actually an office. I saw a computer on a desk in there. It had a flowery background. Now that I think about it, it really resembled my dad's old office, though the furniture was switched around. I saw my therapist in there. She smiled and closed the door. I guess she was working. I think the bathroom I normally used was in there. Crap.

I then found myself showering in another bathroom in the apartment. I looked down and I was standing on a couch/lounge chair.



It looked similar to this, only it had two cushions instead of just the one, and had a curtain-type pattern on top of the navy blue.

I watched the water hit the chair.

I then was out of the shower, and approached a mirror in the bathroom. To my surprise, I was looking at the reflection of a young skinny guy with a white tank top on and short, dark dreads. I knew who I/he was in the dream. At this point, I became semi-lucid. I noticed that behind me, stood...me. When I moved in the mirror, the guy me moved, but the other me, the girl me, was moving of her own accord. This part was extremely vivid.

I then turned around and saw Cherie' was there too, but she also was a guy! She looked similar to me. I knew who she was supposed to be as well. I said to her
"I wonder if I have a penis."
I looked down to look. I didn't see a bulge. I did notice I was standing in a white bathtub though. I then pulled open my basketball shorts and saw...my vagina. I even saw my birthmark on my belly that I have IWL. Boo. No penis for me.
Cherie' then checked to see if she had one, and she did. She said, in her voice, I might add,
"I do. It's long enough to impregnante someone!" I saw a glimpse of it. It was hard. Damn, son. She was right.

Then, either I woke up, or lost my semi-lucidity.

~

I slept super well last night, and I know there were more dreams, but I can't remember them all right now. I just kept thinking about how I needed to sleep more. I was dog tired.

Dream - Lucid

I was at work, but it wasn't the bakery. I don't know exactly what it was I was doing, but I worked with the same people as I do at the bakery. We were all even in our bakery uniforms, down to the aprons and everything. A lady wanted me to help her find the second page to some paper that she needed; she had the first already. She needed it for some event. I went into what reminded me of the freezer, and found the second page in a box. I brought it to her. She was really happy; she thanked me.

Then, it was getting close to time for me to go to lunch. I remembered looking at a paper schedule that had a block from 12-1 for my lunch. I was still busy doing things though, so lunch may have to come late. Then, Will was there. We were sitting on a couch. I was writing on a piece of paper, and I suddenly realized I was using Will's legs, which he had put up on the coffee table in front of us, as a table to write with. I quickly stopped doing that. Awkward...

Finally, I left to go to lunch. I still hadn't punched out, however. I found a clock and saw the time was 12:20, but I couldn't clock out because it was just a phone, not a time clock. I kept wandering around, getting distracted, and realizing I needed to punch out for lunch, and not being able to locate a time clock. I was in the car with the lady and the papers and someone else at some point.

~

Definitely a hangover dream; it felt like a fever dream. Drank a little too much yesterday (I don't do that often at all, only once in a very blue moon), but when I do drink, I go all out. And let me tell you...I did. And now I won't do it again for a very, very long time. Sipping on some tea and some water to try to make the headache subside. Good thing I have the whole day off to recover, so maybe I'll have some better (hopefully lucid ) dreams tonight!

Dream - Lucid

I was at work. I was putting together these big boxes with four big pastries each in them. The boxes were on the racks we use to bake. I was choosing random pastries for the boxes. I seem to remember a small chocolate cake being one I was using. I was calling the boxes "surprise boxes", since the customers would get random pastries.

~

My old (crazy) roommate, Katie, had purposely framed one of the cake decorators at work, who, in the dream, was the drummer's wife in my husband's band. She hid pieces of weed in between random packages on the sales floor, and she had told me that she had done all this like it was no big deal. She told me how she avoided the cameras very cleverly while doing so, making it look like nothing was going on. I "remembered" I hadn't seen the drummer's wife at work in awhile; now it made sense as to why.

I was then at work, but it was nighttime. I was supposed to be working an overnight shift, but it was some kind of drill. Many others were there with me. We filed into a room, like a tornado safe room, and I thought we were supposed to duck, but I don't know if anyone did. I was sitting on the floor, saying to myself that I knew who had really hid that weed, but I didn't know if I should say anything or not. A guy was then next to me, and I told him that I knew who did it. He said I should definitely tell someone.

We were then dismissed early, around 2am, even though we were supposed to be pulling an overnighter. I went home, and my husband was on the couch, watching a movie on TV. The movie was actually depicting the same type of situation, with someone being framed the same way. It was coming up on the part that someone told on the framer. I sat down with him, and started to talk to him about the situation with the crazy old roommate. He then straddled me and started doing small pelvic thrusts, just to be his silly self. The old crazy roommate then walked in from another room in the apartment. Um...what? Why is she here? She then sat down on a chair and started to talk to us. Dallas then turned the TV around to where I thought she couldn't see it, but the TV was a cube-shape, and had 4 screen on it, so she could see the big screen, and we were treated to a smaller screen. I knew that if she saw the rest of the movie, she'd know I was going to tell. I then fell asleep.

When I woke, I was on the couch still, but the crazy old roommate was gone. I thought for sure she had left, but I then heard her voice from the other room. She said
"I'm going to have to hear drums when I get home."
I knew she was referring to her drummer boyfriend playing.
I then saw a woman standing on a porch that was right in front of me, even though I was in the living room. She was talking on the phone. I asked her if we had all fallen asleep on the couch with the TV on, and she said we did, though she seemed slightly irritated that I interrupted her phone call.

~

I was in my apartment, and I knew I was dreaming. Not sure what triggered it. I saw my husband in the kitchen, loading dishes in the dish washer. I went to go take his belt and his pants off, but I guess I got too excited, and woke up. I fell back asleep again.

I was in a room somewhere, when I just knew I was dreaming. The dream seemed quite unstable, so I examined my hands. I started trying to call out to my spirit guide, Mike, but my voice wouldn't come out, no matter how hard I tried. I started to run around, trying to say
"Mike? Where are you? Spirit guide? Where are you?" but the words 'Mike' and 'guide' would only come out as rasps. I ran by a mirror on a dresser.

I then woke up, but it was an FA. I then woke up for real, and went right back to sleep and into the same dream, being fully lucid again. I was in the same room again. I decided to make my friend Ashley appear. It got kinda raunchy at this point, so I'll spare you the details. All I'll say is we fooled around with scissors, I think the point being that they would not hurt me in a dream. Throughout the experience, I kept examining my hands, as to not lose the dream again due to excitement. It worked, and I did not lose the dream.

I then saw this vial of dark purple-red liquid. I called it "dream juice". It didn't have much contents left. I looked in the mirror, and started to pour it on myself. I ran out, and made another vial appear in my hand. I thought about how looking in the mirror watching it appear made it easier to make it materialize. I then started to pour some of it in my mouth. White chunky stuff was in my mouth along with the dream juice. It was kinda weird.

Then, I started going throughout other rooms in the area, looking for Mike. Why couldn't I find him? I felt as if this shouldn't have been an issue. I ran into a few DCs, asking if they were Mike, or if they knew who Mike was. They all told me no, until the last one I encountered, who was an older woman. I asked if she knew where Mike was, and she said yes, and pointed to another room.
"Mike?" I called out.
"Yes?" said another voice.
A man then emerged, an older gentleman with grey hair, a small grey beard, and a mustache. He reminded me of a janitor. He had been working on something in that room.
We spoke for a bit, but I don't remember many details, other than he spoke to me about always changing his identity, always being another person. He then said
"Oh, there is an event I need to invite you to. It's taking place the 4th through the 7th."
I then saw something on a piece of paper that said it was to start at 7:08pm.
I never got any more details about this event, because I woke up.

~

I was on DV, and got a notification, a warning that someone had corrected one of my typos. I had spelled "sue" wrong? Proper grammar and spelling was supposedly a big rule. I then thought about other DJ entries from the past that I had been really tired when I was typing them out. I knew they were full of errors, but they never got corrected.

~

I was having to go to work, but it looked like I was just working behind a counter with shelves of bread and baked goods behind me. A woman came up and asked if we had any fresh-baked bread yet that morning, and I looked, and only saw some fudge and some desserts, but no bread. I guess we were behind that morning, so I told her no, we didn't. I then went out from behind the counter, and my manager, Shannon, took over. An older lady who was there with her young granddaughter asked her if she had any "peanut bread" yet. Apparently, this woman would come get this "peanut bread" a lot, and would scam us somehow. Shannon was quite rude back to her, and replied with
"How about no?"
I had NEVER heard her speak to a customer like that! Wow.

My 6-year-old nephew Gary was here at some point, but I can't remember what for. He was asking me questions.

I then was at a computer with Dallas, taking these timed quizzes. They were some sort of graded multiple choice assignment, but for what, I'm not sure. I was at the computer taking them, and I skipped over a the last part of a long section to come back to later. The timer was still running on it though. I went and did the final, three question section, and started trying to answer those questions. The timer on this one was mere seconds, though, and I didn't finish in time, only getting one out of three correct. I then had the option to re-do that section, and the questions were now about some area of Disney and Mickey Mouse. I was asking Dallas if he knew the answers. I had to guess on a lot of it. One of the questions was a three part question. I ran out of time on this one after answering two questions. I got two out of three of them right, and got a little screen that said so, like a congratulatory screen. I then tried to go back to the other section so I could finish, but I couldn't click on it at all. In fact, the only one I could click on was the last section that I had done twice now. I had run out of time on the other section. I then saw bars on the left hand side of the screen indicating how many questions we had gotten right. The bar by the section I had skipped some on was about 75% full. I guess I hadn't done too bad for myself, despite skipping questions.

I then was back in my apartment. I had to go out and meet Dallas's mom at this little building by the front office of the apartment where Dallas and I had taken the test before. I exited my apartment, and saw that the stairs were gone, but just from the third to the second floor. It also appeared that there was trash and random things on the second floor. I guess they were doing some type of construction. I carefully made my way down, hoping not to fall. I somehow made it down just fine, though I had to be very careful and precise with my movements.

I was then outside during the daytime with Dallas's mom. It was morning. We were standing in front of this huge, clear pool of water that was only supposed to be used for boats. It was not open for the day yet. There was a gate in the middle of it, and two small water ways for the small boats to pass through. I could see the small building where the test was in the distance. I jumped into the water, fully clothed. It was very comfortable, a little warm even. I think the water had been too cold before, and Dallas's mom was saying something to me about it. She then jumped in as well, and we were swimming around in the water, even though we weren't supposed to be in it. A small speedboat then came through one of the water ways. I figured we probably needed to get out before we got in trouble.

I then was looking at a computer at my typed up dreams from the night on my DJ here on DV. I could only see some of the text against the black background of my DJ; the rest of it was hidden. I highlighted it with my mouse, and I could see it again.

At some point, I became lucid in my apartment, but either it didn't last, or I just forgot what happened.

~

Wow, so either my subconscious was trolling me with the janitor Mike thing, or I dunno what. It didn't seem like Mike; his personality was much different. I felt like he was having to be incognito for some reason? I'm not sure. It was strange that I couldn't summon him, though. Maybe it was because the dream wasn't very stable? Though at that point, it had stabalized quite a bit. Hmm. Weird and interesting.

I will say, though, that it seems to be becoming easier for me to become lucid. I don't normally have this many LDs in the same week (knock on wood). I am being more intentional about becoming lucid, thinking about it before I fall asleep, and definitely when I wake up and have to pee or something, which is the best opportunity for me to do a WBTB. Hoping that this lasts; I am very much so enjoying all this lucid time.

Dream - Lucid

Something about a roller coaster.

I told myself when I woke up from this one, I'd remember. I told myself to just remember "roller coaster". And now, that's literally all I can remember. -_-'

~

I was with some other people, though I couldn't say for sure who they were. We were taking shelter somewhere, though; America had been bombed by Britain. They had dropped a nuke on us.

Wherever it was that we were, there was a lot of radiation in an area of the room. Most of it was coming from this thing on the ceiling that we called a "generator". It had something to do with the bombings; it got moved during them, and absorbed a lot of radiation. It was this black and white metal thing that looked kind of like a moon rover. I remember getting close to it a few times, and being warned not to.

I want to say the room we were in had some sort of anti-gravitational property in it; I feel like when we would get close to the generator on the ceiling, we were floating to it.

Then, I was talking to my mom. She was telling me about something her and Windy, a woman I know from when I was in college, something about what they did during the bombing. I asked my mom about what Katie did.
"I mean crazy Katie," I said. I was referring to my old roommate from college.
I don't remember my mom's response.

I remember thinking about the exact area that had been bombed and wondering if the people immediately died on impact.

~

This dream took place post-bombing as well, but that was not the focus of the dream. It seemed that some time had passed after the initial bombing, maybe a few weeks.

I was outside somewhere, and I wanted to go do something. It had to do with my brother. I went to go speak with my doctor about this. It had something to do with my right foot; I wanted to tell her that something was wrong with it.

I put this giant black roller skate-type thing on my right foot. It was my brother's. I started to skate and walk to wherever it was that I was going. I entered a building, and into this room that looked like a lobby. It was spacious with lots of couches. I approached a lady sitting on one of the couches. She was my Doctor, Dr. B, but she looked kind of like a teacher I had in college, Dr. D. She was wearing a white lab coat over her clothing. She was also working on charts. I got her attention, and she looked up. I told her something about my right foot. She looked at me as I told her, but she seemed concerned, or like she thought that something else was wrong instead of the foot. I thought about how contradictory it was that I was telling her about a foot problem, and yet, I was wearing this giant roller skate on the affected foot. She then went on to tell me something.
"They're bruised," she said.
She was referring to the bottom of my rib cage on the right side. I "remembered" getting it x-rayed last time I was there. I guess the results were in.

I then had two of the big black roller skates instead of just one. They were made for skating on carpet. I skated around on the carpet inside for awhile, feeling how easy and effortless it was. I hadn't skated in years, so I thought it would be more difficult to get back into it.

I then was on the phone with someone, looking for this secret entrance to somewhere. It had been a place my brother liked and was very well-known at, but my brother was out of town with his fiance'. I feel like I was supposed to have a purpose for going to the secret place, like I was supposed to be trying to fix something that was wrong with me. The lady on the phone had asked me if such-and-such (can't remember what she asked me), and I said no. She had seemed slightly irritated, but hid it well, and continued to direct me.

I got off the phone afterwards, and I found the entrance somewhere in this rocky area, I think there may have been water there too. I had been there a couple of times before, but it had been years. You had to be very precise upon entering it though, or you'd go the wrong way. I slid down this smooth rock slide, but ended up in the wrong place. I had to go all the way back around and start over.

I remember being back where I started, and there were so many different ways you could go. The whole area was rocky, and it was like I was in the middle of a circle with my options all around me. The someone that I had been on the phone with then offered their help. It was a woman. I had to follow her. She was showing me a shortcut so I wouldn't have to go all the way back around. I followed her to the secret place. The shortcut she took should have seemed obvious to me, I thought. Duh. But I am not good with directions. -_-'

Anyway, so I was there, in the secret place. It was the skating rink I used to frequent as a child. I was skating on the skate floor. There were a few others there, mostly people who worked there. I skated by them, as they were all standing in the same area, close to the benches on the side of the skate floor. I was then asked about my brother, about if he wanted something, or wanted me to have this something, I don't remember for sure, or what the something was. Not entirely sure I knew what the something was when I was in the dream either. I told them I didn't know. They were going to send Kasey Kasem to ask; they knew my brother loved Kasey Kasem. I told them that he was out of town with his fiance'. So they had Kasey call him instead. I heard him talking on the phone, but I did not see him.
"Hi, this is Kasey Kasem," he started, as he so often did on the radio.
He started to ask my brother what he wanted to ask him.

I saw my brother sitting at a table at a restaurant with his fiance', talking on the phone.

I then wondered if this was a different Kasey Kasem, since the real one died. I thought maybe there was someone that worked at the rink that went by that name.

~

The Kasey Kasem thing could have easily been a lucid trigger. Gah. Oh well.

I think I'm going to try getting back into meditation, if I can discipline myself enough to stick with it. That really seems to help my LDs, while also making me feel better all around. I'll see what I can do. I can easily take 30 minutes out of my day to do it. Just gotta stay focused.

*EDIT*

Just remembered a fragment.

I was handling a few small birds. They looked like finches.



As one jumped on my finger, I felt its small talons digging into my finger. I expected this. It was alright, though; I was caring for the birds.

Dream - Lucid

I was back in time, sometime in my past, though I was still the age I am now. I was at an elementary school. I feel like I was in a group in a classroom.

Then, I was outside the school on a sunny day with this girl of about 9 or 10. She was my friend, but I knew that she would soon just stop talking to me with no explanation as to why (this happened IWL a few years ago with a guy I had become good friends with). We were wearing two-piece bathing suits, or at least I was. I was peeing into the stream of water from this garden hose, and it was turning my pee rainbow. It smelled like piss. I feel like the pissing in the hose stream had something to do with why the girl would eventually stop talking to me.

~

I was with my old friend Bret. He had gotten me this really long, white pipe that had like 4 huge bowls on it that stuck out from the sides. I had it stored away somewhere. It was full of weed in each bowl, but the weed looked like salad with chopped up tomatoes or red bell peppers in it. I saw it in the hiding place we had for it in my apartment.

I was then somewhere else, not sure where though. I want to say I was at the grocery store. I was afraid Bret was going to go smoke all the weed and not save any for me. I had heard him talking about smoking out of that pipe to someone. I was upset, because I wanted to smoke all the weed. I remember saying something to him about it at some point. I was thinking to myself also that I did not have any weed other than the weed in the giant bowls in that pipe, and I didn't know where I could get more; I always hated trying to find weed. I was anxious to get back home to protect and smoke my weed.

I was walking up the stairs to my apartment at some point. It was during the daytime.

~

I was at my old job talking to my friend Kristin who still works there. I figured out she was no longer dating David, but was together with one of my exes, Austin. Interesting.

I then saw Kristin carrying a baby. I knew it was her and David's. It was a girl, barely older than a newborn; she was quite tiny, even for being a baby. Maybe she was a premature baby. I kept looking at her, trying to see if she looked mixed, since David is black and Kristin is white, but she just looked white to me. She was wearing a light blue headband with a bow on it. I saw her looking at Kristin, and she winked. I knew that both of her parents winked, so she probably picked it up from them. The wink looked very intentional, and did not match her baby face, however; it looked so adult-like. She then looked at me and winked. Again, it didn't fit the child's face. She then winked again, this time with her other eye, and then again with another eye around where her nose would usually be. That's when I noticed that she had three eyes.

I was then with Austin and Kristin inside somewhere. I feel like it had something to do with cars. They seemed happy. I remembered Kristin telling me how happy she had been with David, how she had told me once that she was "on cloud nine" (she did say this to me IWL). I wondered what had happened in the short amount of time I had been gone. Either Kristin or Austin then had to leave, I think Austin. I said something to someone else, Cherie' maybe, about Kristin and Austin fucking.
"Of course they've fucked," she said back to me.
I wondered how much she liked his big dick.

~

Tried to do some MILD mantras last night as I was falling asleep ("I will become lucid"). Fell asleep doing them. No dice. Up quite early today for work, earlier than usual. I am glad to see last night's dreams weren't totally uninteresting. Hoping for lucidity again soon. Maybe on a morning when I can sleep in a little. Just gotta keep trying.

Dream - Lucid

I was watching this girl from my old job, Chelsea, get swept away and killed in this river current that she was sent out into by someone, maybe our old boss, but I'm not positive. It was in a jungle-type setting. She was sent on some mission that was doomed from the beginning. I think a lot of people were sent on this same mission before, and no one came out alive. I feel like I was a passive observer in this dream.

~

I was in the neighborhood I grew up in. It was very small and fairly new, like when I moved into it in 1995. I remember saying something about how it was a new neighborhood. I ran down a street that ended because it hadn't been built up to where it is now yet (IWL the part that ended in the dream actually did not end even then when the neighborhood was new).

Then, I was waiting on my brother, Blake, and his fiance', Sarah, to get back from being out to eat. They were at a restaurant somewhere. I remember texting them. I was getting impatient, because whenever they finished eating, Dallas and I could go eat.

I guess they were finally done and heading home, because Dallas and I were then at a restaurant. The lights were off, however. I remember thinking that they were closed. Wherever we ended up going, we ended up there for a long time. I think my mom was getting worried about us. I remember being at the restaurant, and having this huge pan of dinner roll dough that was left over. We were going to take it home, but we had some loose extra roll dough as well. The pan was covered in ceran-wrap, and was quite full. I peeled back the wrap to stick some of the dough on the ends. I got one piece of the dough on there successfully, but it didn't look attached. I then said we needed to let the waitress do it.

Finally, we were heading home.

~

I was with Dallas at some store. My friend Leigh worked there. We were going to buy this huge rolling rack that resembled the ones we use at work to put multiple pans of baked good in the oven. We were checking out with her.

She then offered that we have some kind of internet service with them. The rack had something to do with the internet? And to have service with them, they would fill it up with these things that resembled white plastic or dough that would get a slit cut down the middle? Yeah, idk. Anyway, the offer was really good, so we agreed to it. They started to put the things on the rack.

Then, I thought about it a little. This company used to do that and let the wireless network be open free of charge, but now, I didn't think they did unless you paid a lot more. I asked about it, and Leigh said we would have to pay extra to open up the network. I pictured a screen of lots of different servers opened up to play a multiplayer game online. We would not have that unless we paid a lot of extra money. I wasn't too terribly upset about not being able to open servers, but Dallas was. He didn't want it like that, he wanted it all for the price they were offering. He was arguing it.