Lokoloi

It's been a while since my last success. This is mostly due to my sleep schedule going to shit, but I'm getting back into it. Man, even though I understand WILD enough to actually use it, it's still so hard for me. It'll get easier with time, sure, but I can't wait for the day I no longer have to do attempts just to get lucid.

Anyway, I've come to a new understanding as far as stabilization is concerned. What I feel I've been taught is happening is that by stimulating your senses, you are stabilizing the dream. I now feel like you are stabilizing yourself within the dream rather than the dream itself. I say this because I've been reflecting on my previous Lucids, and I noticed something interesting about my last one. I described the dream as Vivid but also Not Vivid. I described it this way because while the dream was visually clear enough to get me to double take, (vivid) I still felt like my other senses were dull.(non vivid) This would suggest that the dream itself was fine; it was I that was unstable.

This would also make sense because people sometimes describe the process as Grounding themselves, or Deepening. It's now my understanding that stabilizing is just part of a larger activity: immersing yourself within the dream world. Stimulating your senses helps you become immersed because you're interacting with the things of the dream, deepening your connection to it, kinda like a WIFI signal. With a stronger connection, you can do more things, and you feel your real body less and less.

This distinction is important to me because I was always looking for some kind of notification from the dream that it was stable when that was never going to happen. It makes more sense to me that it's your connection to the dream that must be strengthened, and this is why you do things to stimulate your senses. But there is one way of stabilizing that is kind of weird: just shouting "stabilization" or something like that. Why does that work for some people? My guess is that it's a dream control thing.

Anyway, I'm still hard at work trying to get WILD to work for me. I keep falling asleep :/

Another lucid, another entry.

I awoke in the middle of the night. Usually, I go about it by getting out of my bed, maybe drinking some water, and going back to bed to do the attempt. This time though, I didn't really feel like doing all of that. I decided to try something new. I'm sure you've felt very drowsy after waking up; so drowsy that you can barely open your eyes and have to try really hard to do so. I was in this state. I resolved to at least fully open my eyes, since I wasn't going to get up. Turns out, that was the perfect amount of awareness I needed. The moment my eyes were fully open, I laid down and closed them again. I did my relaxation breaths, and began saying my mantra. Almost immediately, I was going into a dream. If you guys have ever seen the new Moon Knight show, then the transition from wakefulness to dreaming was like when the main character blacks out.

The dream, like the last 7, was less than ideal. After I got up, it was so real that I had to check to see if I was dreaming. I kicked a nearby radiator, and I didn't feel any pain. Right now I'm unable to describe it well. It was vivid, but also not vivid. I still did not feel like I was fully in the dream world, but the dream world itself was clear.

So, I recalled back to when I kept reading these stories where people just shout "Stabilize" or something like that and it works. I thought stabilization was based on sensory input so I wasn't really sure it would work, but I was open to the possibility since anything is possible within a dream. So, last night, I tried something similar. I said, "Ok, Dream. When I snap my fingers, I want you to stabilize. I want this dream to be as clear and as Vivid as possible, OK? 3,2,1..." I snapped, and nothing changed. I snapped again, and still nothing. The dream ended shorty thereafter.

For reasons I don't think I've made clear here, I think i'm rushing. It used to be because I was racing to try and stabilize the dream before it ended, of course to no avail. I'm rushing now because I just want to get it over with so I can do cool things in my dream. I've got to take it much slower than I am, I think.

Still, it is kind of frustrating. I have problems with dream control despite believing in myself. I thought that was all you needed. Even once I got past the stabilization hurdle, I want to summon something, but I've never been able to do it. I've controlled the dream before. In a lucid a while back, I was flying. After I landed, I couldn't summon anything. In my first lucid ever, I tried to summon something but again, nothing worked. It seems like that action in particular is where I'm having problems, but to be fair, I haven't tried much else. The only other thing is stabilization, but is that dream control or just stimulating my senses? I guess now that I think of it, I don't really know what it means to stabilize. I guess it means to stimulate as many senses as possible to boost your presence in the dream.

Well in any case, commanding the dream to stabilize didn't work last night, so I guess I'll try touching stuff and rubbing my hands together. Maybe I'll stretch or spin around. I wonder if exercise works. Anyway, after that, I'll try and find a dream character so I can talk to my subconscious about where my mental block is. Maybe then I can finally get some dream control. I should probably take my time too; maybe then I'll actually get a dream that lasts longer than 2 minutes.

I think I have to treat this as the beginning of my journey. I'm getting frustrated because I've been at this for years now, but It's only the last 3 months where I've actually learned anything. It was then that WILD finally clicked for me, and I was able to use it to get consistent Lucid dreams. Maybe acting as if I only started learning how to lucid dream 3 months ago will help reduce frustration.

**As for the blue guy that showed up to make me lucid a couple weeks ago, (I named him Azure) He has yet to appear since then. Sad