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Ooops, just realised how long this is. Sorry to anybody who attempts to wade through my dreams; I doubt it's worth it. x

This is my first entry in the Dream Journal It wasn't a LD or anything, just a plain, normal dream. But I'm writing it up anyway. Mostly, because I'm trying to get into dream recall and just using this site more, but also because it was an unusual dream for me, in that at first, it was very ordinary, it made a lot of sense, and I was completely myself.

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I was at school, doing speaking exams with my students. It was pretty much the same, except instead of marking each category out of 25, I was marking it out of 20. The weird thing was that the first student I had was saying, "Why are you only giving me 19 on intonation? What did I do wrong?" (weird because few of our students are that advanced yet) And I was thinking, "Well, I need to mark you down on something, because there's a limit to how many points I can give you." I recognised a couple of my students, but some of them I didn't know. Then another girl came over and she was being really rude and obnoxious and I started to get frustrated with her, but I calmed down. The questions were a bit odd, like, "How much do you like sweets?" "What sweets do you like?" "What do you think about swimming?" (But in a way they are of a similar structure/content to the questions we ask anyway. For example, just last week, I asked, "What is your opinion about money?" Then I got up and it was getting really dark and the school was preparing for some kind of sale. I was slumped on a desk and one of my colleagues started poking me and pushing me. She said, "You don't have to stay for this and you will have next Thursday and Friday off." And my friend said, "Leave her alone, can't you see she's upset?" And then I realised that I was crying, like really sobbing and I wanted to see my family. And I stood up again and I walked over to my computer. Then I was back at the office door and this little old lady, who is my grandfather's cousin's sister-in-law or something (but now she's dead; I realised this when I woke up) was holding my computer. She said, "Ohh, Lula, it's so lovely to see you. I haven't seen you in so long." And I bent down to kiss her on the cheek (she was always really tiny), but she backed away and then I thought, 'oh maybe it's because she doesn't want to break the computer.' And then I started thinking of the computer as so fragile and paper-thin and I started to see it chipping. Then my students were shouting, "Lula, Lula!" and running up to me and so ran off down the corridor with them to play with them. And June, the old lady, was worried, almost like there was some menace in their actions, and then I started to think there was something menacing about it, but I just kept on play-fighting with them and they laughed and started crowding around and me and cuddling me and it was fine.

Then, I was getting into a car and my mum was there and June closed the door, but she didn't close it properly and I could see light coming through, which didn't make sense, because it was pitch black outside. There was so much stuff in the car and no room and I couldn't close the door and my mum looked sad. It was left-hand drive, which is odd, but I'm in China now, so it didn't confuse me at the time. When the headmaster drives us home from school or wherever, we have this little minibus, but a lot of the teachers live together and there's so many of us, that we're all squashed up and sat on each other's knees. It felt like a combination of that, and the time when my mum drove me home from university with all my stuff. Anyway, we were driving around this huge car park, which I swear I've been to in my dreams so many times and I said, "No, we left something in the oven." And I remembered that hours ago (but I couldn't remember how long ago it was), me and my friend had put something in the oven to cook. I'd mentioned it to her earlier in the dream, I'm sure, but we forgot. So we drove round to this little oven in the wall and I got out and pulled out the tray and there was something else in there that looked like pastry, but it looked alive. And then my mum said, "No, I took your stuff out a while back. It's waiting for us at the bar." Instantly we were at the bar, but everyone else started eating all my food. I saw it really close up and then it went a bit hazy.

I was swimming in the sea. I was a shark. I looked up and saw someone in a wetsuit swimming about. Then I was that person in the wetsuit and I put my hand down and grazed my finger on something sharp and thought, "Uh-oh. It must be a shark." So I swam towards the beach and got out. The sky was so grey and dark and as I walked along the beach, with the car following, I could hear something like a news report. It was saying how everybody was coming out to the beach, regardless of the weather, typical Brits. And it was just like a typical northern UK beach. And I looked and just saw empty towels and those flimsy huts you see. I knew there were people inside them, but they couldn't do anything. And they were all blue and green and it was just so dark and grey and cloudy. And then I walked on and it got sunnier and there were people lying there and I walked past a man who was just sat there very still, staring and he was wearing blue and he had a blue-ish tinge and he was covered in sun cream, and he had on blue sunglasses and he was perfectly still. And then the news said something about how there was a weird age disparity and all the old people were coming out instead and it said, "The senior citizens are out in force." It got very sunny and bright and children were playing in the sea. I saw a guy's bulge close up and I was like, "Woah."

I saw some steps going up off the beach. It was next to a kind of over-pass. It was like there were two options to get off the beach, up these steps or to go under this dark over-pass. I went for the steps. There were some thistles and I wondered what I was wearing and if I'd be ok. I was walking up the steps and I realised there was a guy behind me, so I thought, "I'm so slow, but I don't want to get in his way; I'll walk faster." So I did. He was wearing a red raincoat. We got up the top and at the end of the path, there was like a run-way and huge aeroplane was running towards us and then it took off and disappeared. We didn't hear it. And so I took out my phone to take pictures, and it was my phone. And a couple of them didn't get as far as us and then one did. Then suddenly the guy pushed me out of the way, but I was moving out of the way as well, just as this huge, white train went speeding past us. I don't know where it went, because it had nowhere to go and it disappeared. I still couldn't see him very well, but in my imagination (not the dream, but my dream self's imagination, if that makes sense), I kept saying, "Feel my heart, feel my heart." And putting his hand on me. My skin was very bare and his hand was very warm and I could feel my heart beating so hard. And then he was gone and cars were driving towards me. Again, I thought, "Where are they going to go?" They stopped just before the steps and parked there. Some turned a corner and drove towards what I knew would be houses.

I kept on walking and there was the huge run-way and then a field with the trains to my right. I climbed into the field and I could see where I needed to be and knew it well. I was walking down the field and I suddenly thought, "I'm on a train-track!" So I ran over some wire-fences and back to the field entrance. All I could see was high grass, but I knew there were train tracks in it, all over the field. I could see a forest at the other side of the field, but it was like it had been painted. I still knew it was real though. There was an old woman standing behind me. She was toothless and a little decrepit and I was scared of her. I kept my back to her and ignored her. I took out my phone again and called my Grandad, because I thought, 'He knows these fields and forests.' I put my glasses on so I could see better. They were my glasses, and it's funny because I haven't worn them for a while, but just recently, I've realised I really need them, so I've started wearing them again. I was talking to him on the phone and I saw some police in hi-vis jackets walking out of the forest. I could see them well, because of my glasses. I said, "There are some police." I can't actually remember what I said here. At first I typed out, "There's police." but looking over this, I thought that it isn't grammatically correct, but I'm sure that's what I said. Either way, I said something about there being police officers walking around. Three of them. Then I saw what they were looking at. It was like 100 feet away, but I could see it. I couldn't see it clearly, but I knew it was a dead body. I remember thinking, 'People always ask if you've seen a dead body. I can't really see this one though.' The police were taking pictures. It was very large and swollen. Part of the body started swelling up and stuff oozed out of the it. I said, "There's a dead body." I bent over to breathe and I could feel and see (a little) that woman standing near me and then I woke up and my heart was pounding.

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Everything seemed to be of a similar colour, I remember that. It was all greens, browns, greys, blues and all so dark and gloomy. I said it seemed ordinary, but only because certain things seem similar to things that happen. You know, when we bring food in for tea, everyone digs in and starts eating and we just share what's there, except I rarely do, because they eat meat and I rarely bring stuff in I was wearing my clothes and my glasses and I had my phone and for the most part, I was just me, whereas usually, I'm everybody and nobody.

Anyway, this is the first dream I've had for a few days, that's been really really vivid, so I'm writing it up.

Lula x