martakartus

Two days ago, I was reading about SSILD and I thought I'd give it a go as soon as I could, and this time was today. This morning I woke up after exactly five hours of sleep, so it was the perfect time. I did a WBTB and read about SSILD during this time. Then, I went back to bed and put the technique into practice until I fell asleep.

In the first dream, I was flying. It was a game, like I was playing in a fake reality, so to speak. In said game I was a heroine and I had to solve whatever issue I came across. So well, I was flying around when I heard an explosion quite far away from where I was. I decided to go towards the explosion, flying over the road, and I could see at least 20 police cars, with their blue lights on. The dream was more detailed than that, but I spent more time writing what comes next.

Then, I opened my eyes and I was in my room. I thought "quite an interesting dream I've just had". I got up to pick something up from my desk (I can't quite recall what) and I noticed I couldn't open my eyes properly. I thought I may still just be half asleep. I made a noise and I heard my sister, we share a room. I couldn't make out what she said. Then, I went to bed again and at that moment I realised "why can't I open my eyes? Could this be a false awakening after the SSILD?". I pinched my nose and, sure enough, I could breathe through it. I didn't do this first RC properly, I must say, I just did it very quickly after the realisation. I got out of bed and thought a couple of times: "clarity now!", to see if my eyes would open. The reason why I just thought of it and not say it out loud is because somehow I feared my sister would hear me and think I'm weird. I mean, I was aware, but I couldn't believe I was in a dream. Anyway. I then ran out of the bedroom and up some stairs, thinking maybe the running would open my eyes. While I was running up the stairs I thought I'd be a good idea to do another proper RC, just to be sure. I looked at my left hand and it had six fingers, and my palm was larger than normal. For some reason this scared me and I let out a scream, but I stopped myself from getting too excited. Then, I did the nose pinch again with the same results, so I was entirely sure I was in a dream.

The stairs led me to the roof of the house. Just as I stepped outside, my eyes opened and I could see the surroundings with detail. The view was the same as the one we get from our real roof. I could see the neighbours' gardens and the church tower. It was cloudy and the sky was a faint yellow. At that point it struck me (I don't really know why) that I could not control the dream. Say, if I wanted to change the sky and clear it of clouds, I wouldn't be able to. But I didn't care. I was too busy admiring the detail of the view. Then, I felt a really strong curiosity to know what the chalk wall would look like close-up. So, I went very near a wall and looked at it closely. I stared at it for some seconds and I was overwhelmed by the vividness of the dream. I had read that some dreams could feel very real, but I didn't know it could look that real. At that point I thought from now on I'll see ADA, RCs and all that in a different way. Finally, I reached out my hand to touch the wall, I wanted to know if it was so real at the touch as well, and at the moment I touched it, I opened my eyes and I was on my bed again. My body felt heavy and somehow I knew I was awake for real, but I pinched my nose again just to make sure. Then I got my phone and started writing.