memorable

Insomnia is striking me tonight. I slept maybe 4 hours :/ now I'm awake several hours earlier than usual, oh well. I have a dream fragment from today and one from yesterday that I didn't remember until this morning.

Dream Fragment from yesterday: I was looking for Hentai (anime porn, lol) on the internet and couldn't find what I was looking for. I think I was looking for something that had a character similar to the Red eyed guy in the dream prior to this fragment, but I couldn't find any with characters that looked like him. Not an important dream, but I'm hoping not to lose my recall and it gives this entry more length.

Dream One(Fragment): I was writing on Facebook, only my facebook looked different. Instead of a blinking line that showed me where my curser was in the text box, I had a beautiful burgundy flower with a gold outline and swirls on it. I typed something about being the queen of fairies, and how my favorite part of the job was my pretty new magic Facebook scheme. Then I went for a walk and I saw tall grass and a horse laying in it. I turned and walked away not wanting to spook the horse. Then I thought about my facebook post and wondered if my friends would think I was weird because I was a fairy now.

If I manage to get back to sleep and dream I will post more later.

So I had a nap, and it was awesome. I'll explain why after the dream:

I was at my grandma's house and leaving. I walked out the door and it was instantly in the cracked map from Call of Duty Black Ops multiplayer. I saw a helicopter overhead, and I ducked under some concrete to hide. My phone makes a little noise, and I realize I have a notification or text message. I check it, and it's a message from a facebook friend. I don't expect one from him because I sent him a message days ago and never heard back so I thought he was ignoring me. I check the message, and he's saying something about gummy bears? lol Then he tells me to drop a line and talk to him sometime. I think this is odd, but then I read that he's the one in the Helicopter and I think this is even weirder and so I am wondering if he can see me. I step out from hiding to wave at the helicopter but he's flying away. I shrug it off and start walking through town. I find myself in a mall with my kids, and I start chasing them around the mall. Someone says Stephen King is there signing books. Eventually I find a Dollar tree where everything is a dollar, and I think I want to go in so that I can get some pretty printed stationary to write notes to my BFF. I can't find what I'm looking for, and a lady stops to help me, but she has no clue what I'm trying to explain to her. Eventually I realize that this Dollar Tree doesn't have everything for a dollar, in fact everything is like thirty dollars or more and it's a complete rip off. So I thank the lady for her help and then leave with my kids. I wake up.

And when I woke up, I really did have an unexpected message from the friend. I found that strange and cooley prophetic!

I made it a point not to remember most of my dreams last night, I didn't enjoy them and wanted to forget them. Not really nightmares so much as just self issues. I almost didn't type anything, but the last dream I don't want to forget so I'm going to type it anyways, then my interpretation of it, and then if anyone wants to point out something I missed please feel free to do so. Usually others see things I don't.

In the dream, I am with my husband on a street. We're not walking, just standing there together looking into a grassy yard. I get a text, and I tell my husband I'll be right back, and start walking up the street to check my text. Somehow I go from reading a text to actually talking on the phone, but I don't remember how. It was someone I barely used to know, a close friend of a close friend. I knew him through stories, but never really spoke to him. I'm asking him about someone who I believe is staying with him, and he's telling me that she's doing well. During the conversation I'm asking about a woman who I don't recognize in waking life but feel might have symbolized my mom by the characters back story. He's telling me that she's learning to be responsible for herself and that she's really able to take care of herself now, she's not asking others for help and money all the time, but working hard for what she has and learning to manage her money and appreciate things rather than buy crap all the time that she never uses. Then he starts telling me that there's still enough room for me if I want to come stay as well. I refuse, and he continues that no one would mind so long as I was helpful and did my share of work around the house and paid my share of rent. I refuse again, citing my husband and kids needing me as the reason I can't now. In the dream though, I'm more worried about the fact that I haven't had a job in ages and when I did work I never had a good paying job and I feel like I couldn't make. I go back to my husband, and we get in a car and drive home for a moment, just to learn from my grandma that my daughter is at the friend of a friend's house with the woman. We get back in the car and drive to go pick her up and check on the woman whom my grandma praised as we left for really turning her life around. We pull into a driveway, and as we're pulling up a truck is pulling out. Inside the truck is the friend of a friend with a girl, and he waves out the window asking if we're here to visit. My husband says yes, and the guy turns his truck around following us back up the driveway. I feel very awkward and weird about him being in the car with a chic, and I wonder if it's going to bother me if they start kissing or something. When I get out of the car, my daughter runs up to me. She grabs my legs in a hug, and I bend down to hug her back. The friend of a friend walks up behind me to my right, and smiles at me then tells me that she was having so much fun here, and she doesn't have to leave. We don't have to leave, I could stay. Then he turns into Kurasawa, smiling at me and reaching out to hug me. I wake up.

I do often feel like I've accomplished nothing in my life, and even completely useless at times. I haven't worked since I was pregnant with my first and was in a car wreck that kind of made things uneasy for a while. My husband is of the "I'm the man I should take care of the money, you should raise the kids not work" mind set, and up until recently I didn't mind it. I felt like taking care of my kids WAS my purpose in life. But now the kids aren't babies anymore. At 3 and 5 they're being much more independent and actually WANTING to get away and go to school and such, leaving me feeling less involved and useless. I think this dream is showing me that I feel useless and that I feel like I need to get my life back on track, and then it's also showing me that I'm looking for someone to pull me out, help me escape the feeling of being useless and unneeded (which I know I'm needed by my kids, it's hard to explain I guess, but maybe needed by others as well... I want to know I'm having some sort of positive impact on the world) Now I can look back and say, I've known I've felt useless, and the dream is showing me that I'm waiting for someone to pull me out and it's never going to happen because I'll always make excuses. The only one who can make me feel not useless, is myself. Rather than waiting for someone else to come and show me the way out, I need to make it myself.

Last night was upsetting for me, for several different reasons. The one that will affect this entry the most is the fact that while I could recall several fragments when I woke up, I didn't take notes right away and choose instead to go to the bathroom first. In the five minutes it took me to get back in bed, I had forgotten all but one. I'm truly sure the reason the one dream stuck with me was because it was so upsetting to me.

Dream: The begging of the dream I'm in a school of some sort, as part of a class. The teacher is very upset with a student, and decides we're going to take a class trip to that students parents house so she can speak to the student in question. The students house turns out to be across the street and it's actually a thrift shop that my mom took me to recently. Now's where the dream gets clearer and I figure the meaning of it is probably at. I'm walking through this thrift shop, and I'm struck with two thoughts. The first being that I loved this place the first time I visited it because it's full of all kinds of random stuff and hidden treasures. The second thought it that it's so cluttered the way the booths are set up for individual people rather than having all the merch arranged by what it is. I feel annoyed that I might see books or dvds in twenty different booths rather than seeing them all in the same place. Both are things I thought of when I was at this store the first time in waking life as well (I've never been to a consignment shop like that before, lol) Then I feel a mental tugging to my left, and I feel like I should go that way. Part of me is worried about breaking from the group and getting in trouble like the student who's parents we came to see, but then part of me is intensely curious. When I think of the student in trouble, I feel very repulsed and hateful towards them. I feel like being in trouble makes them lesser people, and even go as far as to think of them being trash and that I don't want to be associated with someone like that and I don't want to get in trouble and have people think that way about me. But then that tugging is familiar, there's always a reason for that mental tugging "Go this way" feeling and I hate to ignore it because I know whatever it is will be worth it. I look towards that direction, and see nothing, but then I look back at the class that's starting to walk off, and I decide my curiosity is getting the best of me and I need to go that way. I start walking the direction of the pull, and I see a door. I don't know why I go through it, but I do. I step through the door to the outside, and then the is quickly shut behind me, and I look up to see a guy who's taller than me but what else he looked like I can't remember now. My knees get weak and I find myself half falling half sitting quickly on the ground leaning against the door. I feel an overwhelming sense of sadness. I suddenly realize how horrible I had been to think badly of the person who was in trouble, even though I didn't even know why they were in trouble or even if the teacher really had a right to be angry. I realize that I was just behaving how the group was because I was in the group, and how I had almost let being part of the group keep me from following my own path to this door. The guy kneels down by me, He stays to my left side, but wraps his arms around me and holds me against his chest. I think I started crying, but I was trying not to so it wasn't huge sobs, but just tears leaking out of my eyes. The guy tells me that the student who was in trouble was Shane's sibling, and that the parent the teacher was looking for was Shane's mom. If I wasn't crying before, I was then.

((Not part of the dream, but important to the meaning I'm sure. Shane was my best guy friend in high school. He was one of those people who would do anything to make you happy. The first time I met him, he just walked up to me at my locker one day when I was having a horrible day, and he says, "Look what I can do!" Then bashed his head HARD against my locker, laughed, and walked off. I'm sure it hurt, but it just made me feel so much happier, knowing that someone I didn't know noticed I was having a bad day and went to so much trouble to make me laugh. I noticed that he'd do it to other people too, but where as I smiled and appreciated the effort to make me smile, most people got disgusted looks on their faces or just ignored him completely. Eventually he moved on to grabbing me in the hallway for random hugs and messing up my hair. We didn't interact much in person except for those random moments, but we talked online for hours. It wasn't like flirting, he had a girl friend he'd been with for four years and was hopelessly in love with her which ultimately lead to his death in my senior year.He was like the older NICE brother I never had. Then when his girlfriend left him for another guy, he sped off to change her mind. He took a turn way too fast and now he's gone.))

Back to the dream, I felt even worse knowing I had let the "group mind" control the way I was treating someone, especially when I realized that the student in trouble was probably in trouble for being misunderstood rather than having actually done anything to hurt anyone. Shane was often in trouble, but all the things I saw him get in trouble for were things that he did to make others smile, he never hurt anyone. I start to say I didn't know and I wish I'd done something instead of going along with everyone else. The guy tells me it's ok, that this isn't really the students home anyways. He tells me that's ok, and I got away so everything will be ok now. Then he tells me we need to leave, and I notice my kids are there. They've been standing quietly by the wall the whole time and I was so self absorbed thinking about how horrible I was that I didn't even notice. This makes me feel bad again, but I decide to just push it aside because I can't change that I didn't notice them, what I can change is if I continue to ignore them or if I step out of my self absorption and give them the attention they deserve. The guy takes my son's hand, and starts hurrying across the street behind the store. I pick up my daughter and follow him. When we get to the sidewalk on the other side of the street, I set my daughter down, and the guy tells me that he has to go the other way to take care of something else, but not to worry, he'll meet up with me again later. I seem to understand that I need to take the kids somewhere safe where they won't be effected by the group mind like I was, and start to take them to the left. My son gets upset and starts crying, he wants to go right with the guy. He jerks his hand out of mine, and runs back towards the guy. I pick up my daughter and run after him. He's crying into the guys legs, and I wake up.

I'm feeling a combination of depressed and useless right now. I feel like I should be doing something, like I'm supposed to be doing something, but I can't figure out what. Anxiety I guess is the right word. Like I'm wasting my time and not doing what I'm supposed to be... but I don't even know what it is I'm supposed to be doing! Also missing Shane right now, and looking at myself trying to figure out how much of "me" is really ME and how much is just me going along with others. This is one of those dreams that has a HUGE impact on my waking life as well.

I only remember one dream today, but I think to be honest that it's a few dreams that follow the same basic time line as I'm trying to remember to not open my eyes and just go back to sleep and DEILD.

The dream starts out in a classroom. I'm joking around and talking to the people in the class. It's a very comfortable atmosphere, and where as I usually feel awkward in crowds, I'm really happy and comfortable. I think it's a history class, or maybe it's a technology class and we're talking about fantasy/rpg video games because I'm pretty sure we were talking about knights and battles. Then I'm in the hallway, and talking to a guy who has dark hair and looks nothing like me, yet I get the feeling I'm pretending like he's my brother in this school for some reason. He's telling me that I need to get out because something's about to happen. My husband shows up, but in the dream he's just my friend we're not romantically involved at all. He takes my hand and promises to take me out of the place where I'll be safe. Then I see the guy giving a girl with curly black hair orders, she grabs something and runs off. I see in third person her throwing the thing she grabbed and it explodes. I'm pretty sure she can't have survived that in the dream. Then me and my husband are in a little restaurant. I see the dark haired guy and a couple other people as well as the girl who threw the thing that exploded. I'm avoiding him, I'm angry because I hold it against him that he made the girl throw the bomb. He tries to talk to me all causally and joking, but I'm ignoring him completely. I'm standing by the soda machines, filling up my cup. The guy walks up and puts a hand on my shoulder, and I'm becoming very calm and comfortable not so much pissed off anymore. He turns me around and asks me why I'm upset, and I tell him. He points to the girl as if to show me she's fine, then the tells me he had no other choice. He tells me he didn't put the bomb there, someone else had, and his main priority was making sure I was safe. He tells me the girl has the best throw of everyone he knows, and if she hadn't been the one to throw it it would have blown up too closely to the school and then everyone would have died. Then the people at the table hear him talking about the explosion and they start laughing and talking about how the girl was covered in blood after the explosion and how I should have seen how messy her hair was. I keep thinking she should have died, but when I'm looking right at her, I know she didn't. Still, all the talk about her being covered in blood is just not something I want to hear, so I grab my husbands hand and walk out to the car. Then the dream shifts again. Now I'm in a small boat, in a shallow river. I'm laying in the boat, and my husband is steering the boat and somehow making it go up the river towards the top of a mountain. We pass by a bridge, and there are people on it and they're staring at me weird. I realize I'm naked in the boat, so I reach over and grab a towel and lay it over myself so you can't tell. The boat reaches the top of a small hill, dips down over it, then goes back up the mountain. Then the boat stops against the shore and my husband puts the oar down and starts to drag the boat onto the shore where it can't float off. I jump out of the boat splashing a lot in the water, getting soaked, and start to wrap up with the towel, but then I find that it's hard to run wrapped up, and I decide to just hold the towel and run. So I'm running up the last of this mountain, and I see tents all over the place, and people sitting around small fires. They don't seem to mind me running naked at all. They barely even notice me, but this place feels like home and I'm struck with the notion that no one cares because this happens a lot. I'm running along the side of the creek. I realize that I'm not really sure where I'm running to, so I stop and notice I'm standing by a little grey outbuilding that might be a campground bathroom? I start to run away from the water and towards the woods, then I remember that all I need to do is feel for energy, and the energy will show me which way to go. I feel a strong pull slightly behind me to the left, on the other side of the grey building back towards the creek but still farther up from where I was, not back tracking. I run that way, and I see a campfire and a red beat up truck and a big tent. There are five people seated around the camp fire. The five people are my two kids, and then three guys around my age. When I arrive at the campfire, I can see that two of the guys are a bit on the heavier side and have messy dark hair, not long but not short, shaggy I guess? and one has a beard. The third guy is the one who's energy I'm feeling, the one that's pulling me over there. I'm briefly confused. I want to say he's the brother from earlier in the dream, but then he looks completely different. He has Kurasawa's energy, but his hair is different. Instead of being the frizzy straight that his hair normally is, or the messy wavy, it's full out curly with a beanie. He says hey to me, and I sit in his lap and give him a quick kiss, but then part of me still feels like I'm earlier in the dream and supposed to be treating him like a brother or something. I jump out of his lap, and he tells me that the wind is cold and I'm wet, I should cover up or get back in the water away from the wind. I decide I want to get in the water, so I run back into the creek until I'm submerged up to my neck. The water is crystal clear, and my kids want to swim too. Kurasawa tells them it's ok, and my son takes off his shirt and runs into the water. In the dream my son is thinner (he's on the overweight side in waking life) and there's a bigger age gap between him and my daughter than in waking life. He jumps into the water, then I swim over to him thinking he doesn't know how to swim! But he's swimming just fine, as if he's been swimming his whole life. Knowing he's ok and can swim on his own, I go closer to the shore to help my daughter get in the creek. When I do the two guys with dark hair stand up. One of them takes off their shirt and starts to walk into the water. I yell at the other one and ask him if he's getting into the water or if he's too chicken. He tells me he would get in the water, but he has to poo, lol. Then I turn back to Kurasawa who's still sitting in the chair, just watching happily. He smiles at me, and I smile back, then I wake up. I think that was at least two or three dreams, maybe more, all strung along, lol. Unfortunately I wasn't lucid in any of them, ha ha.

And, during typing all that, I remembered the first dream of the night!

I'm at the river. Something's fallen and sank to the bottom. Someone hands me a flashlight and I start diving to the bottom of the river to get it. There's someone on a jet ski who brought me to where I am in the river. They comment that I can't dive to the bottom of the river, and if I try I'm going to drown. I go underwater anyways, surprised that I can see so well, and then collect whatever fell off the bottom of the river. I see a gold ring as well but can't grab it as I need air. I swim to the top of the water and hand back whatever had fallen. I dive back underwater, and grab the gold ring. I break the surface, and grab the jetski. Whoever is on it turns it on, and idles it back to the pier with me latched onto the side. I hand the gold ring that looks really malformed by this point to someone, then I decide to use the flashlight to see if I can find the glasses I lost at the pier last year under water. I wake up before I could find them.

Dream One (Fragment): I dreamed of watching those youtube videos from last nights chats, lol.

Dream Two: I only have vague memories of the first part of the dream. I know it was like a party or a restaurant or some sort of other loud dim atmosphere. The first point of the dream I can really remember I'm in a gravel driveway in front of a house that reminds me of my dad's trailer, but the house really looks nothing like it. I think the house is just where his trailer should be. There's a blond guy with medium length hair in front of me, dressed in the Shinsengumi blues from Hakuouki. I hear a noise behind me, and I see a zombie with green flesh stumbling in my direction. A man in a white lab coat and medium length grey hair was also behind me, and he turns quickly also startled by the sound. He tries to pull a knife out of his coat, but it does him no good against this zombie and it bites him in the hand when he tries to strike at it with the knife. The man behind me curses, and then tells me to stay behind him as he rushes forwards and draws a sword, the slashes the zombie in half. He says something like, "Looks like the good doctors experiments have escaped during our absence." and then he turns to me and tells me that I should scream as loudly as possible. I find this odd, and ask him why, and he informs me that the screams of a helpless woman will surely draw the attention of any other escaped experiments in the area. So I start screaming pretty fakely, but when I do the bushes start moving and I start screaming for real and scramble onto the covered bed of a nearby red truck. An arm reaches out of the back window of the truck and grabs my legs, I freak and kick it then jump on top of the cab of the truck hoping to be safe on the highest ground. The Blond guy gets all the zombies, then starts assessing the damage to the house. He tells me there's a lot of damage to the doors where they've no doubt tried to bang against them to get in, but it doesn't look like they were able to break in. He pulls a key out of his sleeve, and opens the front door. I hop off the truck and try to half carry the man in the lab coat (whom I'm assuming was the "good" doctor) inside, and then some headlights shine on the house. The Blonde guy curses again and says of all the times for an inspection of the house, this is the worst. I'm not sure why anyone is inspecting, but two women get out of the little car that pulled up with clip boards. I think the middle of the night is an awkward time for an inspection, but the women say it's a surprise inspection to be sure that everything is the same when they're not expected as when they are. Makes sense I guess, but I still don't know they were inspecting for. When we open the door, there's a woman inside as well, but she looks closer to my age, maybe even younger. She's holding a baby, and she's so happy that we're home. She starts to gush and cry to me about how those monsters were trying to get in and eat her and the baby, but then she sees the inspectors and the injured doctor, and she rushes me and the doctor into a room on the right. The inspectors start to follow us, but the blond guy tells them to leave us be because I needed to nurse the baby and the old man got drunk and hurt his hand and needed it cleaned and bandaged. The women didn't seem like they were very keen on seeing blood, lol. In the room, I lay down on the bed and started nursing the little baby whom I'm guessing by this point was mine. She was a cute baby girl though, probably just a couple months old. The doctor stumbled and fell onto the bed as well, and I noticed he didn't look so good. His hand was completely healed, but he looked like he was sweating and his dark grey hair was turning white as snow. I recognize these as signs of the fury blood lust in the game Hakuouki, and ask him if he needs blood. He assures me that he'll be fine, he'll get the medicine he needs as soon as the inspectors leave. I pull the baby as close to me as possible as if I could protect her from the man if he went crazy, then put an arm between her and him hoping that if the blood lust overcomes him he'll attack my arm not her because it's closest. Then I start saying , "Shhhhh, it's ok. It's ok, shhhhh." and petting his hair like I do to calm my kids when they're hurt. After what seems like an eternity the blond guy walks through the door and drapes the doctor over his shoulder and carries him out of the room. The baby is asleep, so I get off the bed and let the girl who handed me the baby to begin with sit with her. I start to follow the blonde guy out of the room, but he tells me he's taking the old man to his lab to get the medicine he needs, and some of the experiments might be loose still so I need to stay inside with another guy who's name I can't remember. The other guy had long brown hair, and he was leaning against the front door looking out the storm door, as if he was watching for something. He turns and smiles at me this huge goofy kid like grin and says something about how we're going to have fun without the blonde guy around, but it sounds more like a joke to lighten the mood than actually having nay meaning behind it. I nod, and walk back into the room with the baby, where I grab a blue robe like uniform like the guys were wearing, and a long staff with a blade on the end on it. I walk back into the living room where the front door was, and the guy in the door is shouting, "They're here! There's a bunch of them! They couldn't have all escaped from here, there's no way that lab would hold this many!" He dashes out the front door, and I follow. Lots of action ensues that I'm not even going to waste space narrating one by one. Lots of me stabbing these creatures through the throat and severing their spines and lots of me whipping the staff around and using the blade to slice their heads off. A thing I find weird now that I'm awake, I didn't have enough force to sever their heads unless I lifted my right hand and pushed extra hard against the staff closer to the tip than where I was holding it. It's wasn't a smooth motion like in the movies, ha ha. We massacre these zombies, and then start to go back into the house, but then there's another wave of them coming up the road. I notice that they keep going past us though, and start up my uncles driveway nearby. I start to take off to fight them, and the long dark haired guy tells me to come back or the blonde guy will had a fit. I tell him that's my family, and I can't let these things get them! I start fighting off the zombies on my own, and yelling at my cousins and uncle to get inside NOW! But they're having some sort of party (maybe that's where I came from in the beginning?) and they can't fit everyone inside. The brown haired guy comes over and helps me, but it's difficult to tell at points who's a zombie and who's not, so we're taking longer than we feel like we should to kick their butts and we're worried that another wave of zombies will arrive before we can even handle these. Just when it looks like we're getting ahead though, a short, skinny but built, and just generally hot Asian guy steps out in front of me. I immediately recognize him as one of our men, and start to lower my staff so it doesn't look like I'm attacking him, but he tells me, "I wouldn't do that if I were you. I'm not on your side anymore. These zombies are under my control." I raise my staff, but I know there's no way I can hold my own against him. Zombies are slow and can't really fight back, but this guy has been training and fighting for years and I'm just now learning. I decide I'm going to try using his honor against him, "If that's true, please wait until the others arrive. We both know I don't stand a chance against you. At least let me go down fighting your zombies. There's no honor in a fight between us." He laughs, and his hair goes white and I realize he's becoming a monster like the doctor was. He tells me he'll wait for the others, I'm not worth lifting his sword to. Then he jumps backwards, but goes much much farther than he should so its as if he's flying. He lands on the street where a new wave of Zombies is coming. The long brown haired guy tells me that He thinks he's got the last of the zombies, and what am I just standing around for? I tell him about the confrontation I just had, and he's pretty upset. We yell to my cousin that I think I've gotten all the zombies, but if they notice anyone turn into one, yell at us so we can kill them before they hurt anyone. Then we start running up the road to towards the new wave of zombies. Just as we jump into the wave and start fighting, the blond guy and another guy come rushing out of the house where the baby was and they jump into the fray as well. Soon all the zombies are down, but there's more coming from farther up the street, but before trying to fight them, the guys in blue all attack the Asian dude that used to be one of them. I stand back and watch as they are all yelling and attacking and dodging. Suddenly there's like a black wave that flies through the dream, like a shock wave but it's visible like a black cloud. It hits me, and everything goes black for half a second, and then I'm seeing images of myself being in a field of flowers typing on a computer about this dream, but I'm asking people how to defeat the dude and what I should do. Someone starts gushing out how cute the bad guy is, then someone gushing about one of the other guys, then someone says I'm so much luckier than I know to be there in the middle of that fight, and then the flowers fly and suddenly I'm standing dressed in a golden dress. In my arms is the little baby girl, and she's also wearing a golden dress. There's someone standing beside me with his arm around me, and it's the blond guy, he's also dressed in gold and he's wearing a crown. He kisses the top of my head and tells me that he's finally destroyed all the darkness and it's safe for me now. But then I see a little boy standing over a well, and he plucks a coin from it, then his face twists and looks evil as he shoves the coin into his clothes. Someone confronts him, and he says he was drinking water, not stealing. Then when he does try to drink from the well to prove this, he starts coughing like the water won't go down his throat. He spits the water back into the well and runs. Then the scene changes, and the blond guy and I are handing the little boy, all wrapped up in tin foil (LOL) to the little dwarf guy in Game Of Thrones. The guy asks what he's supposed to do with him, and we're telling him to take care of him, and teach him to be a respectable person so he doesn't bring the darkness back. He scoffs, this is something he feels is beneath him and a pain in the ass to do. But he takes the kid anyways, and the blond guy and I smile at each other feeling like we've just made a huge difference. And that's when I wake up, lol.

I really think that second dream was at least 2 dreams, but I don't recall waking up in between so I just wrote it as one. It was definitely a lot of fun in the beginning, but the end was very strange and probably symbolic. I half wonder if the blonde guy was Kurasawa. I don't recall having the over whelming calm feeling that I usually do in dreams with him, but at the same time I was very oddly calm through out the whole dream. Zombies terrify me... I can't play zombie games or watch zombie movies and I can't even watch zombie cartoons after 4 or 5 without getting nightmares at bed time. A lot of this dream is fuzzy, so I wonder if that overwhelming calming moment was in the forgotten parts. The role the blonde guy played as protecting me, the fact that he was quiet and rarely said anything like Kurasawa, and the fact that what I can remember of how he looked (because his face is fuzzy in my memory) looks like Kurasawa is pretty convincing, lol.

I battled with insomnia again last night, so I didn't take notes. The result is I can remember a few dream scenes, I just don't know if they all take place in the same dreams or different ones, lol.

Dream Fragment One: I'm flying with Kurasawa who has wings (that's a first, lol) It only lasts a few moments though because my husband and daughter came to bed and it woke me up. I felt like I was falling back into bed before I actually woke up though, and my heart was racing like a tiny fish flopping around in my chest. It was not a comfy awakening, and spurred the insomnia for the rest of the night.

Dream Two: My BFF and her husband come over (they live states away, so this should have been a big reality check) because they're having car trouble and I need my cars AC fixed. We decide we're going to a nearby mechanics shop to get our work done together. My kids don't want to go though, so dream me decide they can stay home alone if they're good (WTF?! They're 2 and 5, noooo way is that a good idea!) We get to the mechanic shop and run into trouble because my BFF is from a different state so they want her ID to accept her credit card, only she's forgotten it. I tell them not to worry about it, I'll cover all their repairs. She asks me if I need to move money over to cover the costs first, but I assure her I have enough in the bank and it's all good. Then I get a bad feeling about my kids, and realize it was really stupid of me to leave them alone! So I hope back in my car and drive home. At home, the kids are being great and are safe and sound. Then I see a commercial about learning to weave hammocks on tv and my husband says he didn't know hammocks were woven. The lady doing the commercial was an older lady in a big weird straw style hat with all kinds of ribbons and fake birds and random crap glued on top, lol.

Dream Fragment Three: I'm walking through down town of this little country town I live in. Apparently there's going to be some sort of biker rally or something and my BFF wants me to go. It seems more like a community event than something you'd associate with Biker Gangs or anything. It's like a bunch of dads and grandpas and mom and grandmas on bikes, not a bunch of violence hungry punks, lol. I'm carrying a green box with a packed lunch. Someone stops me and asks me what's in the box. I tell them it's my lunch. They inform me that there are concessions, and I thank them and tell them I didn't know that's why I packed a lunch. Then they get all uppity with me, "Well take that lunch back. You can buy our concessions." when I don't take it back to my car, he gets pushier, "What's wrong? Afraid we poisoned our food? Take the lunch back or get lost!" I tell him I'm supposed to meet someone here and I can't take the lunch back because I'm already running late. Then I hug the lunch box (which strangely looks like a lego variety box, lol) to my chest and start running. I see my BFF sitting on a set of steps next to a water fountain with a bunch of other girls. They're all in fairly immodest clothes (short skirts and tube tops and spaghetti straps) which is weird for my bff b/c she's such an old lady about how much skin is showing. We start talking, and I tell her about the guy who was trying to make me take my lunch back. She laughs and says not to worry about it, it's not a big deal, I can eat my packed lunch and the others will buy enough concessions to cover my share too. Then I realize I forgot my camera, and she offers to go back and get it with me.

Dream Fragment Four: My BFF and her husband, me and a male behind me (whom I am 99% positive just by the way he had an energy abut him and how that energy felt) was Kurasawa. My Bff and her husband went in first, then I was about to go through the door into the hotel room and my BFF's husband put his arm in the door frame blocking me. He said I couldn't come in, and called me a monster Then Kurasawa says that I'm tired, and I need to rest and recharge. My bff's husband refuses, and Kurasawa stops being nice, and just says we're coming in whether he likes it or not., the pushes through. My BFF's husband then says fine, but we're not allowed to sleep on the bed because he doesn't want monsters on the furniture he has to use. He says if I'm tired I can sleep outside on the balcony. Kurasawa balls his hands up into fists, and I think he might have been about to hit the guy, but I reach out and put my hand on his arm and tell him it's ok, we can leave and stay somewhere else. He goes from ready to fight to completely concerned in half a second, a total instant shift in attitude. He tried to tell me I need to rest, but I don't listen, instead I walk out the door and apologize for causing trouble.

Dream Fragment Five: I'm running downhill, following behind a cop and a guy on a bike. The cop is driving a car, and the guy on the bike is holding onto the police cruiser letting it pull him through the street. They're not going very fast, and something happens and the two have to stop, but I just keep running ahead. I see a bridge, and on this wooden bridge there is a rabbit hutch. There's a fluffy white mommy rabbit and a couple of bigger baby rabbits in the hutch, then there are some TINY bunny babies that have squeeze through the hutch's wires. One hops across the bridge and into a horse pasture below. I'm afraid the horses will trample it, so I jump into the pasture to rescue it. However, the painted horses below aren't happy with this, and start to attack me. (By painted horses, I mean the ones with white black and brown cow like spots!) The horses are rearing and kicking, and I'm not even sure how I was avoiding getting hit as I scrambled back to the fence against the bridge. The cop and guy on the bike have caught up with me now, and they reach through the fence and pull me up and over it to the bridge. I try to tell the cop he needs to rescue the baby bunny, but he doesn't care at all about baby bunnies. He tells me two other babies were trampled earlier and that he's already cited the rabbits owner with animal abuse for having an improper cage, but there's nothing else he can do and if I go back in that pasture I'll be trespassing on private property and he'll have to take me to jail.

These entries always turn out so much longer than I expect them too, lol. I feel like I don't remember much from my dreams at all compared to usual when I do it this way, but apparently I remember more than I realize.

I wasn't going to deal with insomnia last night, I was too tired and too cranky. So I had a drink before bed, and as a result my dreams were pretty scrambled when I woke up this morning (er, afternoon, because I slept so well I slept in an hour and a half longer than usual, lol)

Dream One (Fragment): I'm on a boat (and now that songs going to be stuck in my head, ha ha. ) it's not a tiny one, but it's not a big boat either. It's about the size of a larger boat you'd find on a river, or a smaller boat you'd find in the ocean. Like personal boat size (not cargo sized, lol) and I'm moving things around on the boat. For some reason I think that this is my job.

Dream Two (Fragment) : I'm in a wagon, being pulled by horses! I'm in the back, and it's uncovered. The driver is a chic with long brown hair. There's a guy with short blond hair in the back with me. Something is chasing us, actually it looks like a bunch of somethings, lol. We decide we have to jump to safety, and let whatever keep chasing an empty wagon. I'm scared to jump at first, but then I see some Bandanas in the wagon and decide I can tie them together to make a little parachute to slow my descent so I'm not injured. I tell the guy, and he thinks this is a really good idea. He takes the bandanas, and ties them for me, then hands them to me and tells me to jump first. He says if there's enough distance between us and the enemy that I need to run back to the wagon and give him the bandana so he can jump, but if the enemy catches up to the wagon I am to stay in the woods. I nod, and notice the wagon is closer to the woods now than before, the girl is giving me the best possible chance of making it to a place I won't be seen or can hide. I take a deep breath and jump, I float for a few long seconds, then land perfectly. I turn around and see the wagon, but the enemy has stopped chasing it, so I run to catch up and give the guy the bandana so he can jump. The wagon slows down just as I realize I will never be able to run fast enough to catch up to it, then it stops completely. I grab the back of it and drag myself in. I realize when I'm in the wagon that the guy is gone! I ask the girl driving the wagon, and she clucks on the horses and we start taking off really fast again. She tells me that he knew I wouldn't let him jump out to go stop our pursuers, so he came up with this elaborate plan for me to jump then run back to the wagon to give him the bandana so I wouldn't be on the wagon to see him jump off and run to face the enemy, but he knew I'd end up either in the woods hiding safely or on the wagon getting the heck out of there while he held them off. I'm pretty distraught over this, I tell the girl we need to go back to get him, but she says no, we're already too far an almost to our destination and he wouldn't want us to go back and put ourselves in danger. Then we're coming up to this giant log wall with a log gate. The gate opens and the girl drives the wagon through the gate. Inside, there are a lot of people and even non human Star Wars style aliens. The wagon is going slow now, so I jump off again, but when I try to go back I realize the gate is closed and I can't get back out to go help the guy. I turn around, very disappointed and start back for the wagon, but it didn't go the direction I thought it had. I think I'm lost, but then a wagon (not sure that it's the same one) pulls up to my left and instead of the brown haired girl it's my BFF. She offers me her hand and helps pull me to the drivers seat of the wagon with her rather than leaving me in the back like cargo as the other girl had done. She starts telling me as the wagon weaves through the city that we're ready to try to sign up again. I have a vague memory of trying to enlist in some sort of small army or something, but her not having something necessary so us both not signing up b/c I wanted her with me. I ask her if she has what she had forgotten last time, and she does. I'm really happy with her answer, I'm excited to join whatever cause we're signing up for, together. She stops the wagon, and we walk over to this little white fold up table with two people in casual clothes sitting behind it. There's already a guy with dark hair singing up, but one of the ladies behind the table asks if she can help us. She looks younger than me, maybe even still a teenager. Ambies tells her we want to enlist, and then she asks for something and Ambies gives her a bunch of papers. The woman/girl takes the papers and starts flipping through them. Then she says she's not sure what kind of job Ambies qualifies for, but that they have a spot reserved for me because I'm highly qualified for this fight. I shake my head and tell her no, I want to fight with my best friend or not at all. She kind of twists her face like she's trying to figure out how in the heck she can manage that, then the second woman at the desk says, "They're both short, We could put them on to help us with the faeries." The girl isn't sure how to do that, so the woman tells her to take Ambies to see someone and they'll arrange it. Then the woman hangs a sign from the table saying they're out for lunch before walking back to me and saying, "It's been a while? How have you been?" I suddenly recognize her as my teacher, but I don't in waking life recognize her at all, lol. We start waking towards a window, and I'm telling her how it's going ok, I just feel really stressed out lately. She nods and tells me that it's hard sometimes to juggle a normal life, but that she knows I can do it. Then, looking out the window I see a white truck drive on a lawn, the driver throws four yellow daffodils out the window in anger, and speeds off. The flowers look so sad broken and scattered on the ground with a white ribbon streaming in the wind where it can't quite be blown free from the weight of the three flowers on top of it. The woman tells me that the man is unhappy, she says that she told him she wasn't interested in him romantically, and he was so upset over it that he left our cause. She says more that I can't exactly remember, but the lesson I took away from it was that we should follow what we believe in, and not fight for a cause just because someone close to us is. I figured this had something to do with me not wanting to join without Ambies, and that if I really believed in the cause I shouldn't need my best friend to back me up. If I only do it for her, then if she leaves or we have an argument, then I'm likely to end up like the man who left because my teacher didn't share his romantic interests. The teacher asks me what my jobs were right now, and the dream fades with me watching out the window thinking of logs and how they must have cut them to build the fort. I apparently ignored her question, lol.

Dream Three: This one is really confusing to me and very broken up so I'm apologizing in advanced for how confusing it is. It starts out I'm walking through a hallway with a mane and a woman and a little girl. The little girl seems to be around ten or so, and has light blond hair like my daughters. I don't think she's my daughter though, and she seemed really quiet and distant, like she was depressed and in her own little world or something. We pass by a little alcove like area, and there's a car wrecked inside the building. There's someone inside the car dying, and a man trying desperately to get the woman out. The woman I'm with says she can save the woman with a spell. Her and the man I'm with tell the other man that he needs to take the little girl somewhere and let her show him the things the woman needs for the spell. In reality, it's a ploy to get the man away from the car so the woman can work her magic without someone else's energies interfering. The man I was with walks outside with the other man and the girl and me. The other guy and the little girl get in a car an start to drive away. Then the man I am with says he forgot to tell them to park in the right pattern so they don't accidentally park in the energy field when they return. The he's pretty sure the little girl will tell him so it's ok. Then, (this is where the dream gets uber confusing) the guy takes my hand and starts to walk me out of the parking lot and down the street. The dream shifts completely. The busy street in front of the hotel becomes a quiet back street in a quiet little town. It's no longer dark, but now bright and sunny. I look at the guy, and realize he is Kurasawa, but I fail to become lucid at this revelation because he's talking to me. He's telling me that he's some sort of caretaker. He says it's his job to cut the grass, tend the flowers, deal with trees that fall down around the city. Then he tells me that another lesser known part of his job is to help the elderly in the area. I think he says these elderly people are council members or something. He tells me this is how me met someone, the old woman who introduced him to this whole world? He says she needed something fixed and he was sent to fix it. He gestures to a house on a hill above the road with little steps and flowers on it. He looks really happy, and at peace here, like this is his second home kind of thing. Then he smiles at me and takes both my hands and says it's time to go back. When we turn and start walking again, it does goes from day to night in the blink of an eye, and the quiet road becomes the busy road in front of the hotel. I can see lights on the hotel's facade, and I know everything is the way we left it, only the woman is done with her ritual and the man's car is back so he and the little girl must be back. We walk into the hotel, and then just like that Kurasawa is no longer at my side. I'm with someone, but I think it's my BFF, and she's on my other side not the one Kurasawa had been on. I don't notice it being odd though. She's asking me about unpacking from my trip, but I tell her we're still at the con I'll unpack later. I see people wandering around in costume as if I'm really still at Animazement. I see a guy that I kept seeing during the con, it's not that he was in costume or anything, I just felt an over whelming energy sometimes and would turn to see where it was coming from and there he'd be. This happens on occasion with people, it's not negative or anything... it's just the seem to hold a lot more energy naturally than others. Any who, I don't feel the energy from him, so I know it's not the same person, and then I think to myself that I'm hungry. I tell my BFF that I'm going to get breakfast. I wander off on my own to one of the concession areas at the con. I ask the girl for cookies and bacon, but she tells me they're all out of bacon and gives me almonds instead. Then someone asks for strawberry cheerios, and she tells them all they have left to sell is almonds, everything else was sold out. I had bought the last cookies, lol. I turn to find a table, and see someone left a half eaten bowl of cheerios in pink milk on a table. I think those must be the strawberry cheerios, I've never heard of them before but I guess they make your milk strawberry milk. Then I wake up.

I slept so hard last night, probably because I didn't sleep much at all the night before, lol.

I had a hard time sleeping last night, so I didn't take notes whenever I woke up, rather than move and spend another two hours trying to fall back to sleep, I tried to lay as still as possible so that it's only take a half hour or so to fall back asleep. I did jot down the notes I could think of when I woke up, but by then most of the details had left me.

Spoiler for Music:

Dream One: I'm glowsticking in the street again. (We live on the end of a street in one of those round turn arounds, so we never get any traffic except our close neighbors) I've got yellow glow sticks this time, and I'm alone. My husband walks up and tell me I need to stop so he can show me something. I think I'm semi lucid at this point because I stop, and I get this feeling that makes me very excited and happy. I'm thinking he's going to take me to Kurasawa because that's what I usually ask dcs to do, but then instead he takes me where our yard would be... but our house isn't there, all that's there is the ten we camped in at the beach a couple weeks ago. Inside, the lap top is set up and my husband is trying to show me something on the lap top. I'm only halfway paying attention, it's a video about glow sticking, but it's not a tutorial it's just some chic swinging her stick and I'm quickly growing bored and want to go back outside so I can do it myself. I feel my attention being pulled to outside, I just know Kurasawa is out there now. I rush out of the ten and a few steps towards the road, then I stop. Kurasawa is there, and he's glow sticking?! He's only spinning them forwards at his sides, but the circles are so even and his speed doesn't vary at all. I think, damn, he looks like he knows what he's doing... not just playing around like I am. Then He smiles at me with a mischievous smile, and I think he asks, "Miss me?" But them I woke up >.<

Dream Two: I'm again on the road, this time after spending a good two hours trying to relax and fall back asleep from waking up the first time. My husband is there and we're walking. For some reason though, I think I become semi-lucid. I realize I can just leave my husband standing there on the road and it won't matter. I walk up to this strange house that I've never seen and is far too upscale for this little redneck "housing" development that has more trailers than houses. I knock on the door, and realize that I can open the door and it won't have any repercussions. I also realize that I need to visualize the inside of the house as I open the door, and what kind of person I want to find there. I imagine a guy who looks like Johnny Depp in the movie Sleepy Hollow being there when I open the door. For some reason though I'm scared someone in the house will see, so I slowly open the door, when I see the sleepy hollow guy walk by, I call out to him, and he comes to the door. He quickly but gracefully slides out the door and closes it without making a sound. He takes my hand and starts walking me towards the street. I tell him we can't go too close to the street because my husband is there. He starts pulling me closer to the woods then. We stop at the tree line, and he looks around for a moment as if to be sure no one's around, then he cups my face with one hand and wraps the other around my waist. He pulls me closer and kisses me lightly as he holds me, and says something about how he cherishes these stolen moments. I wake up, lol.

Dream Three: I'm on a swing set, swinging with my kids. I'm at a strange house that I don't recognize though. A couple of guys, one with a lot of piercings, walk out of the house. They start talking to me, and I think they're related to my husband somehow. I ask them, and they tell me that they're not related, just share the same last name or something. Then they tell me I need to go inside and check out what they made. I walk inside, and my mom is at the kitchen table and there's a Christmas tree on the table made of green jello?! My mom claims the guys who just left showed her how to make it. Then she starts talking about what a pain in the ass it was to carve in all the little pine needle details. For some reason I think the thing needs to have more pine needle details and less "snow" because the snow makes it look weird.

Dream Four: I'm in some sort of Classroom, then I leave and come back. When I come back, there are people arriving dressed in cosplay. There's one girl who's actually got four pony legs and feet instead of her normal arms and legs. I marvel over her cosplay for a moment, and think I've seen her before with shorter "legs" and ask her about it. She tells me that yeah she's put them on stilts to look more life sized. I see a box on the floor nearby, it's a box with the Disney movie Tangled's princess on the front (Rapunzel). For some reason I run over and grab it and try to open it. Then a guy comes up behind me and says, "Hey! That was my box!" then he sees I tried to open it and starts crying. I'm not sure what to do about a full grown man crying, then he cries, "That was my birthday present! I was supposed to open it, not you!" I appologize and make some weak excuse that I thought it was a classroom puzzel and didn't realize it was his, then I ask him if I could tape it back closed would that make him happy again? He says yes, so I start looking for tape, and he starts crying again, "There's no tape! You can't tape it back together!" I tell him there has to be tape we are in a classroom after all, and all classrooms have tape! Then I see some on the teachers desk and tape the box back and give it to him. Then I walk to where I think my seat is, and notice everyone is opening their text book. The textbook has Black Butler on the cover! I start looking for the page, number 835, but my book only goes up to 350, then I flip back through the book looking for a page that looks like the page everyone else is on, and I find it, but book 835 is out of order and in the 250s. The teacher starts talking about Japan and I realize this is a Japanese class. Our first lesson is on Desu, and when the teacher says desU, I point out that "Don't they say Des? isn't the U silent?" and she tells me she doesn't know where I heard that but it's not the case! And she goes on talking about japan with a horrible southern woman drawl... not the sweet kind you'd hear in a movie like gone with the wind, but like the catty and snobby white and trashy woman kind. I think to myself that there is no WAY I need to learn to speak Japanese from this woman, it'll only get me laughed at if I ever actually have to speak it! But then I realize that I can ignore the way she says shit, and just learn the meanings of the words so I could read Japanese manga and not have to wait for someone to translate them. Then I wake up.

Dream Five (Fragment): I dreamed that my best friend went to her sisters house and washed her hair, then posted the video on face book. I was watching the video in the dream, so it's hard to remember exactly what was being said and done. I just remember her sister being uncharacteristically happy about having her wash her hair, and her normally straight dark hair looked lighter, curly, and frizzy. Oh, and they used the sink, so no one was naked lol

I'm going back to bed in a bit as it's only 5 am and I usually sleep until sometime between 10 and noon, but I just woke from a dream I wanted to write down asap!

Dream One (Fragment): Pictures of water parks are flashing before me and I am to choose which one I want to go to. Rules and times are being explained for each.

Dreams 2+: The earliest point I can remember I am standing with my kids behind me, my husband to my left, and a woman in a pencil skirt in front of me to my right. We're in a room with white walls, a pale blue office building style carpet, and double glass doors in front of us. We're preparing for an attack. A Buzzer sounds, and suddenly I see Dinosaurs running through the building. A T-Rex is the first to head our way. I start shooting at it through the double glass doors with my gun that fires like the Fammas I use in COD Black Ops. I nearly empty my clip on the damn thing before it finally goes down. My little boy is super curious about what's going on, and he starts to move forwards in front of me, I yell at him to stand back, just as a bunch of raptors come running in. I empty my clip on two of them, my husband takes one down and the lady takes one down. Another one gets past us though and gets my daughter. I panic for a split second, then think I might be able to find some sort of way to heal her if I move through the building. I start walking forwards, and this anime like chic with lavender hair and a white jump suit (think Rei from Evangellion (spelled?)) hands me a set of tweezers. Somehow, this sparks lucidity! I tell myself I'm just dreaming, so I'm going to pretend that these tweezers are some sort of medical secret weapon that can cure anything! Another T-Rex comes up some stairs towards me. I empty my clip on him, and breifly panic because I don't know how to change the clip in the gun or even if I have a spare! I try to calm down and tell myself again, this is a dream, all I have to do is pretend! I pull on the bottom handle of the gun, and this is apparently the clip. It slides out, and I pop it back in and tell myself that reloaded it. It worked like a charm Then a dino with a hard rounded head starts charging up the stairs. I try firing at it, but it closes it's eyes and it's skin and head are too hard to pierce with bullets! I retreat back to the room with my kids and husband, and hand the tweezers to the lady who is in there. She picks up my daughter and rushes her deeper into the room we were in away from the Dinos to miraculously cure her. My son decides to be a pain in the ass, and keeps moving in front of me and I am so scared he's going to be dino lunch. I tell him that if he doesn't get his butt behind me on the count of three, I'm going to drop this gun and spank his butt! Then I count, he cries on 1 and 2, but then scurries behind me just as I say three. Another one of the dinos with the hard skin and head comes charging in. I'm firing at him, but his eyes are closed. I empty my clip in him, as does my husband. I'm thinking this is the end while I reload my gun again, but it opens it's eyes at the last second and I shoot it's eyeballs to bits and it falls over dead. I decide I'm tired of this crap, and I'm out of here! I try to use the gun to cut a hole in the wall like in they do floors in the movies, but apparently the gun has lost it's bullets and is now firing paint balls. Fuck. I use the gun as a ram then and just bust a hole in the wall and tell myself that when I climb through that hole I'll come out at home. I come through at home, and my kids follow me. I tell them to go to the kitchen with Daddy, but they want to follow me and won't go! I want to find Kurasawa though, and I really don't want them around for that, so I run down the hall and lock myself in the bathroom, ha ha. I take the gun and break another hole in the wall. At first all I feel through the hole is ivy like I'm going outside into some sort of garden. I step back and take a moment to tell myself, "When I step through that hole, I'm going to come out in Kurasawa's dream. Not his house or a garden, but in his dream." I start through the hole again. I'm immediately overwhelmed by a strong but good manly smell. Like a whole bunch of mens scented soaps and body sprays all mixed together. The air is comfortable and warm, not cold or uneasy if that makes any sense. I know I've done it, I'm somehow Where I wanted to be. The carpets are dark blue, there's some blue green chairs and a couch, also the walls are a tan color and it looks like I'm in a trailer. I turn right because it looks like I'm on the far left end of this place. There's a kitchen where a couple of guys are goofing off getting beers, pouring shots, and eating/throwing food. They look college aged. They turn to look at me, and one of them asks who I am, I tell him I'm looking for Kurasawa and he just accepts this and they ignore me, lol. I walk down the hall by the kitchen, and walk into the first room on my left. As soon as I step in, I can just feel him there. There are a couple of twin beds, and I see him on the one farthest from me, laying down reading a magazine. I rush over towards him as fast as I can, and he sits up startled. He reaches out towards me and grabs my waist to pull me closer for a hug. A PSP game falls off the bed, and I notice there's a phone number written on it that starts with 718. I try to hug Kurasawa back but I end up getting too excited and wake up.

No worries though, I keep my eyes closed and I try to re imagine my trip through the wall into the living room and then down the hall to Kurasawa.It works and I fall asleep right back into the dream. This time he laughs and tells me welcome back. I smile at him, but refuse to get close enough to touch him, and tell him that I need to be detached from the situation or I'm going to wake up again! Then I remember the PSP game that fell to the floor. I pick it up and start to look at it again. It's bright orange and has a silhouette of a child carrying an umbrella on it. the numbers are now ***, the first three digits of my own area code. This reminds me that I wanted to ask Kurasawa where he is. I ask him if we're in Hic town (the nickname for what passes for a city in my county, lol) He says no, we're actually closer to C (a big city about an hour away) Then he reaches out for me again, and pulls me onto the bed so I'm straddling his legs. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close before laying back so that now I'm laying on top of him. This embarrasses me a bit and I end up Blushing which is pretty out of character for me and the first sign that I am losing lucidity. A girl walks into the room, She's the girl friend of one of the guys in the kitchen. The guy is following her. He has long black hair half down his back, and he's topless. He's talking, but he doesn't sound very smart and also sounds kind of brutish as if he doesn't care about anyone elses opinions or thoughts and thinks he's always right. Kurasawa sits up, nearly knocking me off him in the process, and tells me he wants to show me something.He slides his legs out from under me, careful not to let me fall, the takes my hand and starts pulling me to the hallway. We make it out into the hallways, and he opens his front door. I'm astounded. It looks like there's a river right outside his door. Like you'd have to get in a boat to step out the front door! I'm marveling over this and how I didn't know such a place existed so nearby. He laughs, and so do the guys in the kitchen, so I turn to look at them and see whats so funny. He tells me it's just a parking lot, nothing amazing about it. I try to explain what I'm seeing, a river, and he tells me it's been raining for a few days (it really has in my area, lol) and that the parking lot just has some standing water in it, no big deal. When I turn again to look I see a parking lot with an inch or so of water sitting in big puddles here and there and not the river I saw before. I briefly wonder if the difference was in my perception and remember the shared dreams that were posted in a "to the moon!" thread and how they would be different in little ways but still obviously shared dreams. I brush off this thought though, and don't regain my lucidity. Kurasawa takes me across the parking lot and through a couple of decorative trees, onto a little black metal gazebo. From there I can see the lake. I realize now that we're on the lake, and wonder which lake it is as there are two in the area he claims we're in. I randomly want to show my BFF, so we walk back intot he parking lot, and I hear one of the guys ask where someone is. The reply is that he's at the LT Office and I think he must work with my husband. Then I ask Kurasawa to take me back to look at the water because I don't want to remember life right now. So he takes me back, but this time on the way we pass a bush covered in Ivy and I recall the ivy the first time I tried to climb though into his place (dream? house? world? lol) then a few steps later and we pass a bronze statue of a cartoony man who's caught a cartoonish catfish. The fish part is a fountain though and is spitting water. Back on the gazebo, Kurasawa puts an arm on my waist pulling me close to him and the other arm on my head to hold me against his chest and the dream fades out as I watch the tiny waves rippling across the water.

Dreams from after going back to bed

Dream 1, 2, and 3 (fragments) I dream of purchasing several pony figurines in the Alicorn shape like princess Celestia. One was a green pony, one was an orange pony, and one was a pink and purple pony. It so weird because they were all three pretty much the same dream of driving up to a yard sale and finding this pony, the only difference was the color of the pony in each dream.

Dream 4 (Fragment): I was in a long and drawn out battle against some sort of shadowy demon like creature. I don't know how the fights started, but there were there rounds. The thing would press it's self into a flat black shadow and float around on the ground and then hoover in the sky. It would pop up to rush at me, or spit acid at me or shoot little disk shaped shadow balls at me. I was armed with a dagger and a steak knife of all things, so I didn't have much to work with. I could also tense my entire body up and growl out like an anime character "RAWR!" any my skin would crystallize for a quick moment so the monsters acid and attacks would have no effect on me (that's gotta be from reading Deadman Wonderland yesterday). I would leap on the demon and sink my knives into it then swish them around and cut it into think slices over and over again, but it kept regenerating. Still, somehow I managed to win all three rounds and at the end of the third it disappeared into a screaming cloud of ash. I remember thinking the whole time that it was just playing with me because it should have been harder to beat than it was and it should have attacked more. Also there were points where it didn't attack at all, just threw pictures of anime at me, lol.

Dream 5: I was talking to a guy with tan skin and long dark hair in a button up shirt and dress pants. He was sipping coffee and telling me something about how he almost went too far, but thought it would be too cruel a punishment? He really seemed like the nice almost hippie peace loving guy who would bury himself in books, not the kind of person who would punish others or do something that might even be remotely cruel. I think he also said something about looking through yearbooks to find past students.

Dream 6: My husband is playing Call of Duty with a friend of mine that my husband doesn't get along with in real life. I'm trying to talk to that friend at the same time on a set of head phones. He's saying he hasn't gotten any pictures of me since high school seven year ago, and wants a picture. I tell him I have tons on my facebook, but he wants one he doesn't have to get online to see. I tell him that next time he sees me he should just take a picture then. He wants to know when he'll see me again, and I tell him at exams tomorrow... and for some reason my dream self seems to think I'm back in high school and have end of semester testing the next day. He laughs and says the match is over, can't he just swing by now? I say sure, and he walks in. My husband is hungry and goes to the kitchen, so my friend and I sit down on the floor to hang out. Some how he ends up getting sad, so I try to hug him to comfort him, and he ends up latching onto me and laying me down and just holding me like I'm a stuffed animal he's sleeping with or something. This startles me awake and even though I haven't seem him in over a year I feel really awkward, lol.

Fragment One: I'm practicing Glow sticking again. I'm using pink glow sticks, which is weird because everytime I practice my daughter ends up wanting the pink and my son wants the blue, so I'm stuck with green, orange or yellow. I haven't practiced with Pink in waking life yet.

Fragment Two: I'm in a crowd, and I see Snow from that latest Final Fantasy game (XIII?) from behind.
(and because I'm hot linking a google search and that pic might not show up, http://images.mmosite.com/answer/dic...431411b3b7.jpg ) I am aware enough to realize that It can't be the REAL Snow because he's just a video game character, so I'm assuming it's someone cosplaying. I can't get over how much his hair looks like Kurasawa. I start trying to make my way through the crowd towards him, but he is slipping through the crowd as well so I can never get closer. He looks back at me and smiles a few times, and I realize his face looks like Kurasawa's face, not like Snows face at all. (Bigger eyes, smaller nose, clean shaven... those are the most obvious differences, lol) I want to catch up to him and ask him if he is Kurasawa, but he keeps a very steady distance between us. At one point I stop and so does he, and he just watches me until I start to walk towards him again. Then he smiles playfully and keeps moving through the crowd. So frustrating!

Dream Three: I'm with my friend A when the phone rings. It's my friend N, and she is telling me about some free ultrasounds place that will let you know if your pregnant or not. She wants me to meet her there because she's going to get a free ultrasound of her baby. A and I go to the free place, but when we get there, A says she's never had an ultrasound before as she's never been pregnant and she wonders what they're like. I convince her to get one of the free ultrasound pregnancy checks so she will get all the experience. She asks me if I want one, and I assure her that I don't need one. I had plenty of ultrasounds with both my kids, no more, thank you! So she fills out some papers, and a nurse leads her back to a room. I stay in the lobby and when my friend N shows up, she's already had her baby! I'm so happy for her, and coo over her beautiful little baby boy. I think her baby is really a girl in WL, lol. A comes back out of the back room, and I notice her belly looks funny and puffed out. I find this odd as she's really the skinniest chic I've ever met, like less than 100 pounds skinny. Turns out, she's preggo and didn't even know it! I'm worried because I'm pretty sure she never wanted kids even though her husband does. She seems happy about it though, and she talks ecstatically about it and shows off the pictures so I assume it's all good. Then we're leaving and have to walk through a crowded parking lot to get back to my car. The rest of the dream is kind of fuzzy. Something about my dad's girlfriend getting pregnant, and she's years younger than him in the dream though she's about his age in real life. I think my cousin also turns out to be preggo in the dream. I remember thinking it's a good thing I know I won't be pregnant for a long time or I'd be getting scared, lol.

Dream Four: I'm in a batman suit, about to zip line down from a building to a clearing in a graveyard. There's a woman with curly red hair standing on top of the building threatening to cut the zip line. I keep trying to tell her I'm not the guy she thinks I am, but she insist I'm a guy named Caleb who broke her heart. Finally I take a leap of faith and just zip line down hoping it'll take her longer to saw through the line than it'll take me to reach the bottom. When I land I'm in front of a Grave that says "Nancy" on it. No last name, no dates of birth or death, nothing but the word Nancy. A lady is standing behind me again, but it's a different woman. She's telling me that this is a false grave built to hide something so that I could find it one day. She tells me the real grave is by a road somewhere and gets no visitors. I wake up.

Dream Open: I open my eyes, and find that I am waking up on a hill with a cliff that over looks a pale yellowish brown building (it was slightly orangish too, but looked old and like it was made of some sort of stone.) I'm thinking about dreams, and I wonder why I don't remember having one before I woke up. Then I wonder if I'm in one now? I jump to see if I can fly, I can! I must be dreaming, but the full scope of it doesn't really hit me so I don't get very excited. I fly in a big circle over the building and the hill and there's a river below as well as a city. I wake up before I can do anything else. Not sure that I was fully lucid, I mean I knew I was in a dream, but I wasn't hit with that epiphany that I can do whatever I want to :/

Dream Two: I wake up in front of a house that I recognize as my own even though it doesn't look like my normal house. It looks more like a house I'd build in the Sims when I start a legacy game. It's a small square, with no windows, only a door. It's so small, that there's only a couple to three feet on either side of the door before the corner of the building! I notice there are some round looking trees nearby too, planted in rows. Ray and DJ from the cartoon band "Your Favorite Martian" are spray painting the brick on my house. They don't look like cartoons though, Ray looks like himself, and while I've never seen the guy that DJ is modeled after I assume he looks like he would in real life. (My subconscious must love Ray, all I have to do is hear his voice when my husband watches his videos or have youtube popup a "recommended for you" video with his face on it and he's in my dreams ) They are spray painting American flags on either side of my house, but they are claiming that it shows my support of gay pride, lol. The flags are outlined in white, and they're spray painting the red lines in, they haven't gotten to the blue square or the stars yet. I yawn and feel like I had a great nap, and thank my lucky stars I'm not as sleepy as I have been and hope my insomnia is gone if I was able to nap outside near a couple of guys spray painting. (Little do I realize I'm freaking asleep right then, no wonder I felt well rested! ha ha) I walk through the trees, and on the other side of them is a road, I cross it, and suddenly I'm looking at a super tall brick building that I assume is a store or a fire station. The neighbor's kid is there, and he's spray painting an American flag on the side of that building, and his progress mirrors that of Rays on my house. Suddenly the dream logic kicks in, and I assume I had it wrong, it wasn't Ray and DJ painting my house, it was the neighbors kids painting the fire station! I tell the kid he'd better stop, that even if it was a pretty picture, it's still considered vandalism because that's a public property and not his own house. He starts freaking out (his dad's a cop, lol) and then I tell him he can probably wash it off. I go back home, I'm not really interested in helping him clean up after his stupid mistake, I'm not that nice. I go inside my house, and it's bigger on the inside than it looks. I see my grandma, and tell her that I saw the neighbors kid spray painting the fire station. Then I tell her how I told him to wash it off or something. She tells me those kids never had any sense or brains, and I agree. Then I'm zooming out above the house and the trees have moved, which I find odd, but I'm still zooming out into blackness. I wake up, but just go back to sleep instead of taking notes not like me at all, ha ha. I didn't even remember to try to DEILD.

Dream Three: I know there was some to the begging of this that I can't remember The earliest point I remember, I'm running through some buildings with a woman in her forties or fifties. She's thin for that age, but she has some telling wrinkles that prove her age and hard years. Her hair is long and black, but not fancy or done or anything. She's wearing black dress pants and a blazer over a white button up shirt. Her shoes are black high heeled boots and she's only got on gold earrings and lipstick, not a lot of jewelry or makeup or anything. She's explaining to me that when two people of the same magic capacity collide, it'll be the slower one who absorbs not only the impact the opponent aims at them, but also the impact of their own magic aimed at the opponent. Then she tells me when I attack I need to be the fastest. I find this all very familiar (and later remember it's from the Manga I was reading last night, "Zetsuen no Tempest") I find myself going through the motions like it's a memory not like I'm doing it for the first time, of trying to throw magic from my hands at her. I miss, and she keeps running. I'm not trying to hurt her, she's teaching me and this is practice. I see something from the corner of my left eye. it's a guy leaping from some stairs on a fire escape, also chasing the woman. He's faster than me, and turns around a corner and I see a flash of white. I get around the corner and he's on the ground clutching his stomach. He wasn't fast enough. The lady is standing over him and offers him her hand to help him up. He takes it, and tries to play it cool as soon as he seems I'm around the corner too. The lady starts walking now, not running, and telling us we're not fast enough. Apparently I'm lucky I was so slow I missed her, because if I'd been just a bit faster and hit her, I'd have gotten the recoil from her magic and my own attack and been on the ground like Kay. I think it's odd she's calling him Kay, and I look at him for a minute. Something's really familiar about him, and I can't figure out what it is that's nagging me about him (If you follow my dream journal, you should know without this description, ha ha). He's got messy blond hair that's just past his ear, not really long, but by no means short. He looks like he's probably 21 or 22, but the way he carries himself with confidence I wonder if he's older and just looks younger. I focus on his black clothes for some reason, and then decide of course he looks familiar, we're training together, I should know him! (Dream logic strikes again!) we all three cross the street, and the guy starts walking up the side walk, but the woman cuts through a cemetery towards a church. I start to follow her, but a woman calls out behind me, "Hey B, what are you doing in the cemetery? You don't belong there!" I turn around to see another middle aged woman wearing some pretty old looking clothes, like she's too poor to buy new ones kind of thing. They're thread bare and faded from over washing, but no holes. I try to tell her I'm following my mother, even though in the dream I know the woman I'm following isn't my mom but I don't think I'm supposed to let on that she's my teacher either. The lady yells back at me, "There ain't nothing in that there cemetery but ghosts!" I turn to motion to the woman I was following, but she's changed form completely! She now looks like Harriet Tubman. I'm completely blown away how she's changed not only her face, clothes, race and age, but she's also almost see through!! She winks at me and says, "How do you think I get around without being noticed? People will ignore what they think is a ghost because they don't want to see one!" I can't become a ghost, so I decide to follow the guy instead, I'm sure he knows what we're supposed to do next. I run up the wide walk after him, but by now I'm a considerable distance behind him. He crosses a busy four lane road, and opens the door to a litle shop. I start to follow, but stop in horror when a little girl around 2 or 3 runs out the shop door when he opens it and towards the road. He grabs her JUST in time to keep her out of the road. But then, a little boy probably 6 or 7 runs out the door too and the guy can't grab him because his hands are full with the little girl. The boy trips, and falls, and without thinking I run up and grab him and jump into the middle turning lane before the traffic can hit us. He's skinny, so he weighs a lot less than my son, and I can easily carry him and bounce him a bit while I say "shhhhh, I got you, your not going to get hit buddy! You really shouldn't run out into the street like that!" He's got some scratches on his leg, and I decide to carry him inside and clean his scratches. Kay holds the door open for me, and thanks me for saving his brother. A n older lady, probably in her mid 40s is in the shop. She's wearing flashy purple clothes, she's heavy set, and wearing all kinds of gaudy jewelry with makeup caked on her face. Her eyes are sharp, they give the impression that she's watching my every move, sizing me trying to decide if I'm friend or foe and if foe, how to attack most effectively. She thanks me in a condescending tone for rescuing the kid, and tells me that he'll be fine now. I tell her he's scratched up, so I'd like to make sure he's cleaned up before I leave, I don't want the kid to get an infection or anything. She tells me she'll clean him up, but he seems scared of her, so I tell her I will do it before I leave just to be sure, then ask where the bathroom is. She starts to say something, but a little girl speaks up, "There's no water in the bathroom. We ran out." I look up at Kay who has yet another kid in his lap (there must have been five kids in this place, lol) and he shakes his head, "There was water when I left, but sometimes we do run out." The woman clicks her tongue and then says, "Well, since your here, why don't you stay for dinner?" I nod, but instead of talking to her, I whisper to Kay, "Wait, don't you need a mask or something?" (this was a reference to a book I just got called "Masque of the Red Death" Not the original story, but a modern authors attempt to turn it into a teenage love story set in the future.) He looks confused and says, "No?" then I'm distracted by this black rods that fly up and are hoovering around my head. They're a flat black metal, about the width of a pocky stick, but about ten inches long with a single black feather at the top of them. They're floating slightly slanted like a "/" Confused at what they are, I reach my hand up and start to touch one. When my hand gets close, the rod starts swirling quickly, orbiting my hand like it's very excited or something. I extend a finger, and when I touch the rod it's like whatever force was making it seem alive was gone and it just dropped to the floor like the inanimate object it was. there are three more still floating, and I do the same to each of them. I'm mystified, but the woman looks unhappy. Kay grabs my elbow and pulls me to another room where a table is set and he's saying something about needing to hurry so I can get home before my family misses me. The woman asks where I live, but I can't remember so I don't know how to tell her. In my awkward silence, Kay says, "She lives kind of far away so she needs to hurry." The woman is not happy about this answer, but she can't really press further and still keep her semi-nice act up, so she doesn't. Instead, these giant wooden butterflies with wing spans two feet long fly into the room. There are three, and they're beautiful blue and black with rounded wings. I reach up for butterfly to touch it, curious how it's flying without any cords or anything. When I try to touch the first one it suddenly flaps it's wings quickly and flies about three feet before crashing lifelessly to the floor. I try the second, and again when my hand gets close it flaps away quickly then crashes lifelessly, this time hitting the wall. I apologize for having it crash into the wall, and say I should probably stop before I break something. But the last butterfly looks so calm and collected, I can't help trying to touch it to. It does the same, but crashed like a dive bomb straight at the lady! She dodges it and glares at me. I apologize, and say I should really go home. Kay stands up offering to walk me out. When we get to the door something clicks and it finally hits me this is a dream and who he is. I lean up on my tip toes and start to kiss him, but he shakes his head ever so slightly motioning his eyes towards the woman in the other room as if to say I shouldn't kiss him in front of her. Instead I wrap my arms around his neck in a big hug and whisper to him, "Your not Kay, Your name is Kurasawa." He whispers back, "I know. I don't know why in this dream you think my name was different." Then the whole dream faded into blackness. I rolled over to go back to sleep, but my husbands alarm chose that moment to go off. After two hours of trying to go back to sleep, I got up and wrote this all out, hoping I can sleep afterwards!

Now, for those who are still confused about who the DC was! I have a re-occurring dream character that I've been calling "K" in my dream journal entries... his name in my dreams is actually Kurasawa. He's actually the reason for me looking into lucid dreaming, when he first started appearing a year ago he told me on a couple of different occasions that, "This is your dream, I'm just along for the ride." He would also push me to question why things in the dream were the way they were. I'm going to start using his name in my dreams because apparently calling him K here is bleeding over into my dreams and confusing me. There's really no reason to call him just K anyways, I was just keeping with conformity of never using actual names, lol. And though is name is Japanese, he doesn't look it at all. I'm pretty sure the name was just my brain being over influenced by all the Anime and Manga I partake of If that explanation's not enough for you, there's more on Kurasawa here: 2-8-11, Important dreams from the past: K's Original Dream - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

Dream One: I'm at my mom's house in the driveway. My Aunt and Uncle are getting out of their van, and a cousin of my mom's (making him my second cousin I guess?) gets out of a white car. I give my aunt and uncle hugs, then the cousin hands me a little package... it's a my little pony blind bag! He tells me that he heard I liked Ponies, and he knows some of the people who design them. Then he tells me that he was the inspiration for one of the new ponies in the upcoming season (has season three even been announced yet?!) and they made a toy of that pony, so he got a few freebies and thought I might like to have one. I was pretty excited about that. I know someone who was ponyfied! Better still, I'm related to someone who was ponyfied! Woohoo! We all go inside. My mom and her cousin sit on a couch, and my aunt and uncle on another couch facing them. I sit to the side in a chair, but I'm good with it. I'm not a very social person and tend to sit back and just watch people have fun, lol. I notice my mom's hair looks really pretty because she's just gotten out of the shower and he hasn't put it in her signature ponytail yet. Her naturally curly hair is looking very beach wavy, and try to sneak a few pictures of her with my cell phone. She always wants pictures that make her look pretty on her facebook page, but never thinks any of the pretty pictures of her are pretty. I know she'll thank me later when everyone tells her how pretty they are, but if she sees the pictures before I post them she'll never let me post them! Then she asks me what I'm doing... I'm busted. I tell her I'm just messing around with my phone to ignore me, but she knows me better than to listen, lol. She gets up and grabs a hair bow and puts her hair up. I make a pouty face, and tell her she spoiled my fun, and laughs and says, "I know! I meant to you rotten child!" Then for some reason my mom's cousin gets off the couch and says he'll bring the fun back to the party and starts stripping! My mom's mouth gets huge and she goes, "OH MY GOD!" and I start laughing and looking away, then curiosity gets the better of me, and I turn back around to see what he's doing. He starts trying to lap dance on my uncle and my aunt jumps up and runs out of the room. I'm almost dying laughing, then I remember the pony, and decide I need to get it out and see if it has his tattoos (I don't think this cousin in real life would have any tattoos or EVER do anything like this. He's a cool guy, but he's almost as old as my mom and has always seemed like the good and responsible kind... not the wild stripping kind, lol) I pull out the pony, and look at it's cutie mark and see that it's an anchor w/ a life preserver on it and it's name is "Simon Sailor" The cousins name is not Simon, lol. I grab my phone and start to take a picture of him lap dancing on my uncle with the pony in my hand trying to get a side by side shot, but I wake up first! Too bad, I'd have loved to see my bff's reaction in dream when I texted her that picture.

Dream Two (False Awakening): I tried to WILD, and it didn't go well, so I rolled over to go to sleep. I notice it's light, and I can hear some noise outside the bedroom. I open my eyes, and notice it's broad daylight! I freak out for a minute, I slept so hard I didn't even dream! Crazy! The I realize the noises I'm hearing are the neighbors kid that I baby sit after school on some days. He's yelling and knocking on the door asking if I'm home or if I forgot I was supposed to watch him. I look up, my kids are both still sleeping, so I jump up and put on my robe and run to the door. I let the kid in and tell him I need to go change and the kids are still asleep, so just be quiet and watch tv or play video games or something. I run back to the bedroom to change, but before I can get there I wake up for real and the sun is just starting to come up.

Dream Three: I'm in a house with two heavy set chics who are really nice like we're great friends. I leave though, saying I have something to take care of. I see a black man leading this really pretty dark brown haired girl into an ally. I notice the girl has a dreamy not all there look on her face. I chase after them. I tell the man to leave her alone, and he hisses at me that this is his meal and I need to find my own. Oh, I remember then, I'm a vampire. I tell him I only eat the ones who want to die, not the vibrant ones who are full of life and want to live it to it's fullest. I try to make myself look as big as possible, taking a fighting stance, and hissing, showing vampire fangs. I ask him if he knows who I am, and he claims not to care who I am, he just wants to eat this pretty girl. I tell him my name, and he pales, then starts stumbling back. Then he flat out runs away. The spell the girl is under breaks, and she falls to her knees scared, but I just shake my head and start walking away. The girl, crying, thanks me shakily, and I tell her "your welcome, watch who you let your guard down around." Then I walk to where I was supposed to find my next meal. Apparently I have a group of other vamps I hang with who find people that are ready to die to feed from. I show up, and the leader is a guy with long black hair and a smooth face. He seems very happy to see me, and jokes that he thought I was going to miss our dinner date. I tell him it's not a date, it's just dinner. There are way too many others here to call it a date. But I'm smiling and laughing too. But then I notice that our group of probably 8 people to eat, is all dressed in black but one. She's wearing a bright red sweater. In the dream I know this means she's still vibrant and full of life, red is a color that screams look at me! if she was depressed and wanted to die I expect her to be wearing black, a color that would match how bland and unnecessary she feels. I grab her arm, and start dragging her out. The vamp guy yells at me, "Hey, where you going with our meal? Taking dinner alone tonight babe?" I snap back at him, "Not this one, she doesn't want to die!" Then he follows me, dragging another woman, this one in black. He throws the other out the door with me and the first and says, "This one came with her, take 'em both." I nod and as soon as he closes the door and we're alone I ask the girls, "You don't really want to die, your both vibrant and full of life, what the hell are you doing here?" Then the girl in the red sweater starts crying. She tells me they do want to die! Then she goes on telling me this story of how their state banned gay marriage and now they can't spend the rest of their lives together. They'd made a pact, they would rather die together than be forced to spend the rest of their lives never being able to share their love. I roll my eyes, and ask them why they don't just move to another state that DOES allow gay marriage. They try to tell me they don't have the money, and I just tell them I will help them find a place as long as they don't mind me being there as well because I can only afford to keep up one home at a time. Then I ask them where they want to live. They pick a place, can't remember where now, and we move. And then they are the two girls that I'm in the house with in the beginning of the dream, and I realize that I had just had a memory or flashback of how we met. As soon as that clicked, I woke up as I came to the realization I was dreaming. The end of this dream was definitely influenced by my waking life. Gay marriage is already banned in my state, but there's an election going on TODAY for an amendment that will make marriage the only legally recognized domestic union in my state. It's a big deal around here, because of being in the bible belt and all, but I know so many people it would affect (because it won't only affect gays, but also unmarried straight couples who are considered a domestic union.) and this had been a BIG stress for me. Of course the Christians are all talking about how it'll prevent gay marriage, and that's all the churches want to see. Sooo, I guess the dream is kind of my fear that if this amendment passes it will leave many of my friends depressed, and even suicidal.

Dream Four: The game starts out I'm playing a video game. I identify the game in the dream as Call of Duty, but there are giant robots for enemies, so it must be the new COD Black Ops game my son's so excited about. In the dream, I'm trying to advance through this mountain pass, between these giant pillars, but there's a GIANT robot, two or three times as tall as my house, that's standing in the pass and you have to defeat it. I fail, and my husband says it's his turn. I don't see anything but the screen, but I just know I have handed him the controller. He starts trying the same thing I did, and he almost dies, but runs backwards to escape. I find myself thinking that the giant robot reminds me of Dreamprofessor's task of the month dream, yet fail to realize that THIS is a dream as well. -_- Then I watch as my husband leads the character back to a lake where the game had started us at. He swims in the lake to the other side, and there's a freaking light there! He turns the light on, and part of the lake lights up. Then he turns on lights all around the lake, and a lady is visible with diving gear. She tosses the diving gear to the game character, and tells us that there's something being dropped into the lake on the other side and transported under water, and they think it's the enemy smuggling weapons. We're going to infiltrate and find out what they're hiding. Then the character starts to climb out of the lake bed, and runs for a bit until we come to another lake. This lake has lots of people in it, like families swimming at a community pool. There are also stands with food and a DJ booth playing music. I change views to being the character, and I'm no longer a guy, but definitely myself. The diver chic is with me, and I tell her I don't have a clue how this gear works, so she's going to have to show me, and she says not to worry about it. She'll do her job and get me under water, I just have to do my job and find out whats being smuggled. I nod, and then we slip into the water. WE start drifting to the far side of the lake where there is no one swimming. The lake is shaped kind of like an 8 or a big pool. There's the "shallow" end where everyone was swimming, then there was a "deep" end where no one was swimming. the "deep" end was covered with this big white tent, and I just knew the hole in the top was where the weapons would be dropped. I try to dive underwater before having the gear turned out just to get a quick look, but the diver gear caused me to float upwards REALLY fast, even popped me up out of the water for a moment, like a ball someone tried to force underwater. The diver chic shakes her head at me and hisses, "Smooth! Really smooth! Don't you know the suit is designed to float when it's not on so you don't drown if it malfunctions under water?!" Of course I don't! She tells me to follow her, and swims to the very far edge wall of the lake (the deep end is set into a mountain) and starts messing with my suit, presumably to make it work, but before she can finish, the DJ guy starts talking. He says that it's time for the big show! People start scrambling out of the water, but a couple of other people have wandered tot he deep end like us.

Spoiler for inappropriate violence and nudity:

The DJ says, "Oh, I see we have some tourists who want a front row seat!" then he starts laughing sinisterly, "Enjoy the show, it'll be the greatest trip of your lives!" Then the hole in the top of the while dome cover is blacked out, and I can see the bottom of a helicopter or something opening up. A dark green case the size of an suv falls out first, and hit the water causing massive waves to push us against the wall. I can't breath for a minute and am fighting my way back to the surface. I get above water just in time to see these giant white cylinders fall from the hole. I wonder for a moment what they are, they just look like chalk, but then the water starts fizzing and the smell of chlorine is too strong to mistake it. My eyes are burning, my lungs are burning, and my skin is burning. I'm gasping for air, but every breath feels like fire. I'm grasping the wall of the cave trying to climb out, but also trying to help the diver girl get a good hold on the rock and out as well. The DJ starts laughing again, this time he says, "I told you it's be the show of your lives! ha ha ha! Now, I give you the cooling rain!" and water starts poring from the dome. Cold, clean, chlorine free water. The water below us swirls and goes down a drain like a giant toilet or something, and the cool water falling from the ceiling is washing away the burn. I start stripping off my swimming suit because it's holding chlorine in it as well. I'm completely naked against the wall, practically moaning in relief as the water makes me feel like I'm alive again and not about to die. The the DJ starts laughing again,"Burn baby, BURN!" and the cold water changes to scalding hot water. I scream and grip the wall trying to leave as little skin exposed to the rain as possible, then he laughs again and says, "lets cool it down now!" and the water turns cold again, soothing the burns. The he says, "Lets bring this show to a wrap. I hope your ready to die in my freezing depths of ice water! Oh, but, if you want to live, there's a way. Ladies, you can save yourselves and those around you, all you have to do is take off your tops!" Maniacal laughter now. I'm already butt naked, so there's nothing I can do, but I watch as the diver chic and the ladies with the other "tourists" as he'd called us stripped their tops off and cried out begging for our lives. Then a man smoking a cigar in a tan suit with hair and a beard like Ashton Kutcher (but a totally different facial shape) steps into the pool through a secret underground door in the wall (the lake is empty still because the water from the ceiling wasn't enough to fill it back up yet) He waves the cigar at the DJ booth, then starts fussing at the DJ that there are families with children here, and to save his sick games for after closing. Then he calls out to all of us, "tourists, please, clean yourselves off and thank your gods that you were saved. Remember next time, not to stick your nose where it doesn't belong!" He walks over to the side and starts talking to some guard that had stepped out the door with him. The diver chic I'm with starts crying, and I tell her to go ahead, I'd stay and investigate, I don't need her anymore because my suit was lost when I took it off. She slips down the rock wall and runs for a door where there's supposedly a bathroom. I take my time getting down because I have no clothes to protect me from scraping the rocks, and I'm trying to figure out what my next move is going to be as far as the smuggling is concerned. I make it to the bottom of the lake, and I'm surprised it's smooth tile, not muddy rock like I had expected. It makes sense to me though that they'd have done that they might have built a false bottom of the lake to be able to drain it and stuff from the natural bottom. I'm getting really cold really fast though, and the floor is cold too. I see a little rock sticking out from the floor, and I rush over there hoping it'll be warmer than the floor because of the hot water. Somehow, it still is warm, so I climb up on top of it (it's only 3 feet tall or so) then sit and pull my legs up to my body so I'm curled up and trying to hold in my body heat. I tuck my head in between my knees. Then the man with the cigar yells in my direction, "Hey you! I told you all to go wash up and get out of here!" I look up and try to put on my most innocent face, "I'm so sorry, it's just, I'm so cold, and this rock is so warm..." The guy looks shocked when he sees my face then says, "Shirley? Shirley Singer? Is that you?!" I immediately recognize this as my code name and remember having met this man in a fancy bar and flirting with him trying to collect information from him before. Not sure if he knows i'm a spy or not, I just nod weakly hoping that I look innocent enough. He rushes over to me, then seems to realize I'm naked, "Oh my god, Shirl, why are you here? Why are you naked?!" I tell him, "I was hot and wanted to go swimming at this community pool, and when I saw the deep end I couldn't resist the chance to swim so freely with so much room all to myself. But then that man," and I point to the dj, "Started laughing so cruelly, and then chlorine fell from the sky and it burned, it hurt so badly!" I start crying, "Then he turned on the cold water and it all rinsed away and I was so happy that I was rescued, but then he made the water so hot and burned us, then he he told us he was going to kill us if we didn't strip!" and I'm flat out bawling by this point, and he takes me into his arms and starts rocking back and forth telling me, "Shh, it's ok now, your safe, I won't let any of my men hurt you I swear it." I realize then he has no idea that I'm a spy and my ploy is working. Then he tells me to stay right here, He'll be right back, and I nod, then say in a small voice, "There was a girl on the rocks with me, can I make sure she's ok?" He tells me yes, to do what I like, just o be back in a moment when he returns. I nod, and scurry off the rock to the bathroom where I ind the diver chic. She's crying, so I hug her, then I push her back at arms length and tell her sternly, "It's ok, your alive, and you need to get out of here now so you can stay live, do you hear me? Don't cry, run. Go, now!" She nods, trying to put on a brave face, then takes off running out the door. I walk back slowly to the rock, and realize that wet, I can feel my legs sliding against each other, and it's a very sensual feeling. I enjoy the climb on the rocks, and feeling my wet skin sliding against it's self, and decide to take a new approach with the man. Rather than be the innocent hurt girl, I'll try seducing the information I need out of him. When he returns, he has a bottle of milk and a robe, as well as a bottle of chocolate syrup, no doubt so I can cover up and drink chocolate milk to sooth myself. I have better ideas for the chocolate. I wake up a couple times while he's cleaning the chocolate off from me, but am consciously aware enough of waking up that I don't move and fall right back asleep so it's almost like I never left the dream, but before the main event starts, my kids wake me up and I have no choice but to wake up. Damn, lol.

I'm at Toys R Us with my Grandma, she's watering our plants that are at Toys R Us for some reason. I leave to go play in the stores water fountain. It's at least a ten foot pool , with small wooden platforms inside, decreasing in size every two or three feet, and the water flows down them like a water fall. I play in the water for a bit, then I see a sand box, and think I'm going to go play in the sand too. I don't think I ever grew up While digging in the sand, I realize that a guy walks by carrying a tote of plants that look like ours. I flip, worried that he's taking our garden! I run back to where our plants are, and at first I can only see the tomato plants, but then a clerk tells me the cucumbers are "over there" and shows me my cucumber plants. Relieved, I notice they need watering! So I hop off the platform, and go to get the bucket from the sand area to fill it with water from the fountain. Some kids are already playing with the bucket, but when I explain my problem and promise to give it back, they give it to me no problem. I start trying to get water from the fountain, but every time I dip in my bucket, I get tadpoles in it! I don't want to pour the little tadpoles in the plants and kill the taddies, so I pour the water our and move to a different part of the pool. This time I keep getting goldfish in the bucket! It takes me pouring it out and trying to strain the water in without the fish four times before I get a bucket sans fish, but I manage. I carry the bucket to the plants, and water the cucumbers, but there's not enough to get the tomatos in that tiny bucket, so I go back for more. I notice I am SOAKED, and my pink shirt is now see through. I'm oddly not bothered by this, and just go back for more water. The sky's looking dark though, and someone says the sky is so grey, the grey is palpable (I have no clue how to spell that, so if Firefox gave me the wrong word for a spelling correction, sorry!). When I think about being able to touch the grey with my hands, I realize it's the color of clay and I suddenly have clay in my hands and I'm in my room from the old house in Holly Springs, laying on the bed, thinking about what it'd take to make my own Ball jointed doll out of clay and make a mold of it to pour with porcelain. I hear someone talking about a man planning to cattle prod everyone, and this is supposed to put them to sleep for a year, and only one person will be left awake and everyone will starve to death. I'm like, What? No way, I can't let that happen! and I run outside where I see a female Centaur and a regular human male dressed in leather armor.

I stop dead in my tracks, and say, "wait.. this isn't real... I'm dreaming!" I don't need to reality check, I mean, there's a freaking CENTAUR in my DRIVEWAY, the only explanation is I'm dreaming! lol So I tell the centaur and the man as much when they try to tell me that I'm about to get cattle prodded. The female centaur rears back and pulls out a sword to fight me, and I start talking out my ass, "You can't hurt me, this is my dream! I'm in control!" Even though all my attempts at control have failed since my first lucid. I imagine myself growing wings, and though I can't see them, I can "feel" them and I see wings sprout out in my shadow. Yes! So then I try to take it another step and form a scythe in my hands... but since I'm looking at it, the best I manage is some sort of swirly white solid plastic ribbons. Oh well. I jump in the air and the wind whistles around me, practically blowing the man and centaur over. I ride the gust a few feet back and land in a fighting stance, though just barely keeping my balance because I am so not used to it, lol. Then the man yells at this guy in actual like, shiny metal armor who's stumbling along the yard like he doesn't know how to walk in his armor. I see a metal pole in the shiny knight's hand, so I go after him. I think the guy in leather armor called the knight guy "Jay". Anyways, Knight guy tries to poke me with the pole, and I grab it and start trying to wrestle it from him. I try to use the wind from earlier to blow his helmet off, but it doesn't work. The I just grab it and rip it off, and all the rest of his armor falls off with it. He tells me I can't win, he's going to kill me and everyone else. Then comes at me again. I consider for a moment not fighting back, but taking him by surprise and kissing him to see if he'll turn into K like in Catching up the last several days! - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views (2-23, dream two) but then I decide against it because he's got this huge bushy medieval style beard going on, lol. I tell him this is my dream, and no one can have as much power in my dream as me. and while I totally know I'm talking out my ass, it's WORKING! I am able to use the plastic strings to block an attack, and then twist the cattle prod out of the guys hands and snap it in two. He demands it back, and I laugh and tell him it's broken anyways, his plans are a lost cause. But then he says it's not broken, and I look at it, and it's made to be collapsible, so even though I "broke" it, all I did was take the pieces apart and if I put them back together I can use the weapon. So of course I put them together and then I start to cattle prod the man and push him back into my house. I tell the dream the door is going to be sealed and he can't come out, but the door is shaking and he's pushing his way out... but then the pushing stops. I can see someone through the cracks around the door moving around though, so I open the door and look inside. Instead of medieval guy, there's an old lady in there. I step in cautiously, and she's in the closet hanging up clothes or something, which is what my real grandma would be doing, lol. I'm wondering if she's going to turn back into the knight guy, so I keep my distance. She turns to me, and says something like, "there you are dear! Are you having a good birthday?" I nod, and tell her, "thanks dream grandma." She smiles, and says she'll be right back with my birthday present. I start to tell her that while she's in the kitchen she should tell K to come see me. Then I wonder if dream grandma can even use the phone or even wonder if I can use dream logic to place him in the kitchen for her to tell. I change my mind, and instead decide that since the neighbors kid is always coming over to hang out with my real grandma, I'm going to tell dream grandma to go into the kitchen and tell the neighbors kid to call K and tell him to come see me. She smiles and says of course, and then tells me my mom left a present for me in the dresser drawer. After she leaves the room I move to the drawers. I think for a moment, I should look at my hands. I've never done that in a lucid and I wonder if that ring I got in a dream forever ago is still there. There's a ring on my finger, and it's pretty and definitely not my wedding ring, but not the one from that dream ages ago either. I try to change it into the ring from the previous dream, but while it changes and smooths out getting closer to the image of that other ring, it never looks right. I give up when it stops changing, and start opening the drawers. Nothing in the top, nothing in the second, in the third though I find a moon stone poison necklace (like the kind they would hide poison in if it were fairy tail) that I had years ago. I still have it actually, but it's broken, lol. In the dream it's not broken, so apparently mom had it fixed for my birthday... but I'm cautious about opening it. So I shove it back in the drawer and close the drawer on it. My mom causes night mares, I don't want something from her to fuck this one up for me. I hear the door opening behind me, and I jump, afraid it's my mom or something nightmare-ish. But it's just the little old lady, and she hands me a package of lotion and lip gloss from bath and body works. I can't help but giggle a bit about it because it's the same set my BFF gave me last month, it's even opened and used as much as I've already used it! I wonder if dream grandma just grabbed it out of the bathroom because she didn't really have anything for my birthday, so I just smile and say, "thanks grandma!" and she looks like she's beaming and happy that I like it. Then she starts to leave, and says, "one more thing dear," and she's stepping into the hallway, "You have a visitor." K steps into the room from the hallway. He's dressed in a black trench coat and has on HUGE sunglasses that cover his whole face. I tilt my head confused for a minute, and ask, "K?" he laughs and takes off the sunglasses while shrugging out of the coat, then says, "of course, I heard you were asking for me." I drop the previous gift and start to run towards him and he steps forwards, and I literally jump into his arms and wrap my legs around him... much like my kids when they don't want us to put them down, lol. He hold me close, and I excitedly tell him, "Guess what? I'm dreaming! And I'm lucid!" he turns his face so he's talking right into my ear and says, "baby you can't get lucid." like he's in total disbelief. I laugh and tell him, "I can! and I am!" He hugs me again and says while laughing excitedly, "Then I am glad I lied!" I guess he lied saying I can't get lucid, lol? Then he pulls back and kisses me, and it causes me to feel like I'm falling backwards,and wake up just like when I woke from yesterday's lucid.

Well I can check off my goal of growing wings in a lucid now and I found K in a lucid too! I'm so proud of myself for not running off to find him first thing. I realize that in the dream I didn't have much chance to run off, but I still feel like I accomplished something big by not looking for him right away like in all my other lucids. Next goal to work on, not getting so excited when I see him in a lucid so the dream doesn't crash around me and I have a chance to ask actual questions. Asking a dream character worked so surprisingly well. I will definitely be employing that in the future! Geeze, my first long lucid in over a month, I'm on cloud nine and so happy I took that nap!

No doubt, my brain was in over drive making up for only having two dreams the night before, because this morning I woke up with ten. Thank goodness most of them are fragments and there's not as much typing to do!

Dream One (Fragment): I'm looking at a bead on a string. The bead is one of those plastic beads that children's necklaces are made of with the many "sides" instead of being smooth so it looks like a real sparkling jewel but it's not. The bead is a dark but iridescent purple, the string is a pale purple, almost white. There's a knot on one end of the string to keep the bead on, and it looks like you could add a ton more beads. Not sure the significance, but this was definitely not a rehash of the previous day.

Dream Two: I'm inside a bright orange asteroid, there's a hole above and below me, to my left and right, and in front of and behind me. The colors of the asteroid and the space beyond it reminds me of the first Kingdom Hearts. I look around, and see K... but he's wearing Riku's clothes! Their hair is pretty similar, now that I think about it, lol. Then I note that I am Sora. My hair can look like his sometimes when I wake up, so no surprise I dream I'm him and not, say Kairi or Aqua... or any other GIRL from the game, ha ha. We hear a noise and K/Riku looks around, as do I. Then TINY blue gumi ships, maybe the size of a fist, fly into the asteroid in a chain like formation. They loop in and out of the holes and all around, until they make a shape that reminds me of a clover. K starts to shoot randomly at them, but they're moving everytime he hits one to fill in that space, so he misses more than he hits. I put my hand on his gun and push it down as I tell him to relax, they're not attacking us yet, and there's a trick to hitting them all. He nods and hands me the gun, and says something that I can't remember now but gave me the feeling like He trusted me and He knew I could handle this one on my own. I notice the gun reminds me of my son's toy laser guns, and briefly think it should be a Keyblade, but I can't remember why I think it should be a keyblade so I just aim it up. (I need to make my brain think REALITY CHECK when that happens, lol. Odd stuff doesn't happen often in RL for me though, so I rarely get to RC over something odd, therefor can't seem to practice enough to engrave this in my brain) I aim for the Gumi ships where the chain had started entering the asteroid. I fire one shot. It knocks out a ship, and the chain shifts one space backwards to fill in that one's hole. No New ships appear. I feel like this is an obviously easy puzzle, and I've solved it and K was either not paying attention or this is just not his kind of video game. I start shooting the spot where the first ship will fall in line, and take out each ship as it moves in place to fill in the gap. Shoot, wait for fill in, shoot, wait for fill in. I notice the chain is getting shorter and shorter, and the gumi ships are too busy correcting their formation to shoot. It can't get much easier than this, lol.

Dream Three: I am swimming in the pool we had in my childhood home with my mom. It's been a while since I've gone swimming, and I find it so relaxing and peaceful. I swim to the bottom of the deep end, and lay back on the floor, careful not to get close to the white filter in the bottom. I am looking up and watching the sun filter down through the pool, and the trees and clouds above the surface seem to dance in the waves. I am completely calm and happy, and feel like I can breathe underwater. I stay that way for a long while, enjoying the view. Until my mom swims above me breaking my view. I push off the bottom and shoot tot he top of the water. I break the surface quickly. My mom is behind me, she says, "what were you doing?! You had me scared to death you were going to drown!" I started to apologize, but she interrupts me and says, "If you wanted to enjoy it under the water so much, you should have told me!" She pushes me underwater, and I'm struggling to get back to the surface. My lungs are burning, but she's holding me down and drowning me! I wake up, thankfully.

Dream Four (Fragment): I am at the river, climbing on the pier. We have a two level pier that my grandpa built years ago for us to jump and dive off from. It actually has a third level that's about 15 feet high, but it's only a tiny platform about 3 feet wide and doesn't count as it's own level to me, lol. I'm climbing the outside of it for some reason, not the ladder, but using the X braces as hand and foot holds. I remember seeing some of my cousins hanging out on the pier as I climbed, but no one said anything to me that I can remember.

Dream Five (Fragment): We're on a road on a hill, over looking the river. My husband parks our vehicle (and SUV in this dream) in the middle of the road, blocking both lanes. I tell him to move it, and he says we're at the lake. I tell him we can't park in the middle of the road! Then I look out and this doesn't look like the road where the cabin is. My husband insists that it is, and that the water is just low. Sure enough, when I go down to the river, the water has receded some ten feet, and none of the piers of the houses on the shore are even in the water anymore. This actually has happened before in RL on several occasions through out my life. I look back at shore, and confirm to myself the buildings are different, we are NOT at my family's cabin. My husband won't listen and keeps insisting we are. I decide forget him, I'm going to walk there from here! I climb back up to the road and stat walking, in what I HOPE is the right direction based on how the river is flowing.

Dream Six (Fragment): We're at the river again. This time in the right cabin. We're gathering things, maybe packing to go home?

Dream Seven: We're at my Grandpa's house. We're gathering things, and I'm thinking to myself he won't be there because he's dead... so this must have taken place after he died last year. I'm waiting for my family to show up, and I remember my dad saying that he won't go over there unless other family is there because he doesn't want anyone to accuse him of stealing something since the family fought like jackals after Grandpa died. We're just getting things that were ours in the first place, so I don't think anyone's going to get mad. Suddenly I see this table set up and these girls handing out fabric to make prom dresses. I ignore it, and it goes away just as quickly as it showed up, and I'm back at Grandpa's house. I don't think twice about the whole thing (until I woke up and thought, another good chance to reality check! Dang it!) then my aunt comes in with a tea platter and offers us tea (another wtf scenario here... that side of the family might drink sweet tea out of a solo cup, but generally they're mt dew straight from the can people... to think of them offering me tea on a silver tea platter is just crazy! We're redneck, through and through -_- )

Dream Eight: My husband is driving, and we're on a country road with fields all around us. We reach a stop sign, and my husband turns left, but ends up turning into someone's driveway and not on the road. I get out of the car and start walking because my husband can't figure out where he's going. I walk to a house and go inside, like I belong there. My uncle whom I never talk to and never really got along with is there. He's being nice though, and asks us about the new floor in the bathroom. I'm telling him the Floor looks awesome, and the neighbors friend did an amazing job! We talk about my mom for a minute too, then it's getting late and I need to go. My notes here say "back, clean" but I can't remember what that means... I think maybe I made it back to the car and cleaned something? Who knows, lol.

Dream Nine: I'm in JC Penny with my mom. We're looking at fabric to recover my couches. I pick a fabric I like, but when they go to unravel the fabric, there's less than a foot of it, just enough to cover the roll. Then I pick another fabric, and it's the same issue! I'm getting annoyed, they shouldn't have the fabric on the rolls if there's not enough to recover with! I ask the lady if they can order more, and she says no. So my mom asks her what fabrics do they have enough of. As she's asking, this man walks up and tells me he's going to recover his couch and wants to know how much fabric I'm getting so he can decide how much he needs. I tell him my couch is a sectional, one side it probably 5 feet long, the other is probably six feet long, and I like to have more than necessary, so I'm getting 14 feet of fabric. If I have any left over I'm going to make little covers for the arms of the couches so when my kids paw at the arms of the couches and get them dirty, I can just take it off and wash it! (Dream logic the messiest part of my couches are the seats, not the arms... and 14 feet of fabric to cover two couches? no freaking way, lol) The man thanks me, and the lady comes over and points out two ugly blue patterns, and says they're the only ones with 14 feet or more on the rolls. I think there is no way I'm putting those ugly patterns on my couch and I'm going somewhere else! (come to think of it, of all the weird things they do, I'm pretty sure JC Penny doesn't actually recover upholstry in the first place!) Then we go to the check out counter to find my Grandma and kids. She's buying them yo yos (the same yo yos my husband bought them last night -_-) and I'm talking about the hideous patterns in the fabric aisle. Then I notice a really pretty display of Faerie dresses. They look like evening gown and prom dresses with fake faerie wings attached. I absolutely LOVE them, but wonder when out side of Anime Conventions, would I even be able to wear them?! I tell myself nope, I can't buy them. Then we're at the register and my daughter drops her Yo Yo on the floor. It hits this fake river than runs under the counter... but it really MOVES, it's like some sort of clear plastic over blue rocks, and looks like a river but it can be stepped on... but it moves so you gotta be careful if you step on it! The yoyo hits the "river" and gets dragged under the counter. The cashier bends down and picks it up, rings it up and hands it back to us. I take the kids away from the fake river before it can happen again, and notice, there's a dark area with like twenty different TV screens in various sizes, and some couches and such around it like a little lobby... and there's all Anime and video game stuff on the screens. I leave the kids with my mom and walk over to check it out. I see one TV advertising a t shirt with Misaki from "Another" on it and think that's cool, my husband loved that show. Then I see a trailer for a new Zelda game. They're calling it "Link and Groose's Great Adventure" and I'm thinking to myself, NO FREAKING WAY! They've spent too much time on fan sites, obviously! But I'm excited anyways, because I love Zelda games... at least big console ones for the most part... toon Link is just not cool w/ me. Then I realize wait, at the point I'm in with Skyward Sword, Groose has run off to find Zelda on the surface, I don't know yet if he lives or dies... CRAP! This game means he lives, this is spoiling it for me! I need to finish that game -_- I start to leave, when something I see the game on the shelf! I'm like, Woah! The games been out already? and this is the first I've heard of it?! How?! I grab it, and start back towards the register and a girl stops me and asks me if they make a book of this game, because it looks cool but she doesn't play video games. I tell her there will probably be a manga sooner or later, there is one for most of the other Zelda Games. Then I take a picture of the game with my phone and text it to my husband, THEN I go to check out, but end up waking up first

Dream Ten: I'm at a big black fence, praying. I don't pray, lol. But I am, and then I get up and my husband stands up as well, and somehow the dream lets me know I was praying for Japan after the disaster last year. Ooo, okay, cool. But then I'm in Japan, and there's an announcement over some loudspeakers in the street or something, that America prayed for them, so they're going to pray for America. I'm like ok, I'm going to go watch, because it'll be fun. I wonder if they'll pray at a shrine? I follow some people and we walk past an SUV that my husband is sitting in. I knock on the window and tell him to come on, lets go pray for America with Japan! lol He joins me, and the people get on a bus. On the bus this Japanese lady starts talking about hospitals, and asks me if I've ever been in one. I say yeah, and tell she asks why, so I tell her it was to give birth, and how we were there for a long time with my second child (I think it was 4 or 5 days!) because she had jaundice. The bus stops, and we get off... at the same black fence as the first part of the dream! lol Everyone gets on their knees to pray, and I'm like, wow... total let down. And I wake up!

Dream ??? (Fragment): And while typing all those, I remembered this one! I was playing hide and seek with some girls dressed in My Little Pony Cosplay. We got caught by some teachers, and I pretended to be cleaning up the littered playground so I wouldn't get in trouble. They didn't connect me with the other girls because I wasn't wearing a pony costume!

Dream One (Fragment): I'm in the Tulpa's thread here on dream views, I've been lurking there reading about them because it sounds interesting but not like something I have the concentration for. Instead of being a thread though, it's a chat room, and instead of being online, it's an actual room and people are actually talking face to face. It's hard to lurk when people can see you and are expecting you to say something, lol.

Dream Two: I'm in an under ground cavern, like man made cavern. Reminds me of Moria or that giant underground sewer or whatever in Japan. I'm with a man, an older Male, and in the dream I actually think to myself that he's kind of like Coram to my Allana (Song of the Lioness Quartet by Tamera Pierce, I haven't read those books in ages so Maybe I got the names wrong?) He's kind of like my body guard and mentor I guess. He says something about Princesses of Heart, and I remembered in my dream seeing a Disney Princess Wall Sticker set that said princess at heart and misread it as Princess OF heart (which is an important phrase from the first Kingdom Hearts) but despite remembering my real life I didn't stop and say, "Hey! I'm dreaming!" -_- So then we're coming out of the catacombs and the landscape outside the catacombs is a valley with sheer cliffs to my left and right. at the end of the Valley there are guards, guarding a large wooden gate. One of the medieval looking soldiers runs up to me and is happy I'm alive, but tells me the fortress is under attack and about to fall. They're going to hold the enemy off long enough that I can hide, so I need to hurry. I am rushed through the wooden gate and start climbing a tower. I see the soldiers falling one by one to arrows, then there's only me left, climbing this huge tower (not stairs, but a ladder) and this guy in red shooting at me. His first arrow misses barely. The second doesn't look like it will miss, and I wake up just as I see it in front of my eyes. Half a second later and it'd have gone through my head, lol.

Dream Three: I'm in the pasture, watching the neighbors horses. (We have our pasture opened to the neighbors pasture so his horses can roam it because we have no animals of our own and it's a waste not to use it.) The neighbors kid that I babysit is there too, so I think that I'm babysitting him in the dream. I notice theres a black horse, and I can clearly see the print of a saddle on it's back. Like someone rode it hard, then just took the saddle out and turned the horse out to pasture. I turned to the neighbors kid and asked him, "Did you turn that horse out hot?" (and apparently in the dream this means, did you put him in the pasture after riding without grooming him, lol) The kid tells me no at first, and I call him on his lie because of the saddle mark, and he confesses and asks that I don't tell his dad. I tell him to go get me the grooming tools, and he'd better believe his dad would hear about it, it's bad for the horse! He brings me the grooming tools, and I try to groom the horse, but it's very people shy around me. It keeps getting close, just to get wide eyes and run off. I try to put a lead line on it, and it won't hold still, dancing backwards and side to side as if it's very nervous. Finally I give up and decide that I'll tell the neighbor when he gets home and he'll be able to do it since the horse knows him so well and doesn't know me at all. The neighbors kid has disappeared but I don't care. A dog comes up, and it shifts colors throughout the rest of the dream from Black to brown and white spotted. I start petting the dog, and it leans against my legs, then rolls over. So I sit down in the dirt and start petting him (her? I never checked, lol) but the dog rolls back over and starts pushing the curry comb with his nose. I take it as a clue he wants me to groom him like the horse, so I start moving the curry comb across his back in small circles and he's happy about it. I start to move the comb back over his rum to get the back above his tail and he gets mad and growls, so I move the comb back to his shoulders, and he's happy again. He rolls over on his side so I can brush his sides too. I wake up after a few minutes of brushing.

Dream Four: I'm walking to my Aunt Jenny's house to give her a message. She actually lives 45 minutes away, there's no way I could actually walk there. I don't know exactly how to get there, so I'm looking it up on on phone on google maps. I walk up a big hill behind a Walmart, then I cut through a yard and I'm at her house! She's worried about my grandma since I came alone, but I tell her grandma is at work and not to worry. I borrow her phone to call a friend and let them know I'm not going to hang out today, then I leave. I cut back across the neighbors yard, and then I'm going back down the hill behind the Walmart when I think for some reason my husbands car should be parked there but it's not! My husband is suddenly with me, and I'm freaking out because I see a sign that says No Parking, violators will be towed at the owners expense. I freak out knowing the car has been towed. My husband takes me up a small grassy hill and to the police station where I think I'm going to get my car back. I try to argue with the lady that My car had ran out of gas and I had to walk to the gas station to get gas and couldn't help that my car died right there, but she told me if was still my fault for letting the car run out of gas and being irresponsible. The rest of the dream is spent crying and arguing trying to get my husbands car back.

Dream Five (Fragment): I'm walking through the toy departments at various stores looking for the Fashion Style Ponies I don't have (Apple Jack, and even that Fake Derpy b/c my little girl freaking LOVES Derpy pony!) I'm annoyed though because all the toys are in patterns. there's shelves of red boxes, then shelves of white boxes, and then red again, and so forth and so on. I'm mad because the pony boxes are clear and purple, and they have no place on the shelves for them, so no stores have them. At some point I see a pedestal with a thank you card on it and for some stupid reason I just walk up and rip it in half then run off.

Dream Six (Fragment): I'm in the old house in Holly Springs, the one we haven't lived in for seven or so years... only instead of a closet between two bedrooms it's a bathroom with a door to both back bedrooms. I'm in the living room and my daughter is crying that she's pooped her pants. I Take her back to the bathroom and start changing her. I can hear my Husband's family in the living room telling my husband he needs to help me because I'm not capable of doing it myself. I'm mad because I change her pants 90% of the time around here and getting him to do it is like pulling teeth so I don't bother. I don't want him coming back and giving me any help because the way they put it was insulting. I sneak into the other bedroom to watch them talk about me being incompetent and all the things that I can't do. I wake up after just a few seconds of ease dropping though.

Dream Seven (Fragment): I'm looking at a black void like room. There's a silver oval, and inside that silver circle is a grey human form. Someone says something about space, not like outer space, but space as in not having enough room. Then there's a click like a light being turned on or something, and the human body shape starts to slowly fade as the skeleton inside the body starts glow, slowly growing brighter until all I can see if the skeleton inside this big silver oval. As creepy as it sounds, I don't feel scared, in fact I feel the opposite. Like the body it's self was strange and I didn't know what to think of it, but when it was replaced by a skeleton I suddenly felt calm and very safe and like I was with a good friend or familiar place, not with some random stranger or in some random strange place. This is one of the few symbolic dreams that I can actually say I know why I had it. I don't deal well with people, very shy and just socially awkward. My best friend I've known since 6th grade, and I really don't talk to anyone else outside my immediate family except on the internet, lol. Now is where I start sounding crazy While I don't get along well with people, I am pretty sensitive to energies, especially spirits. Family and family friends actually seek my advice before buying houses and such to be sure there's no negative energy or spirits hanging around. I also tend to find myself with energies hanging around pretty often. I don't like see or hear ghosts or anything, I just feel them, if that makes sense. While I am completely uncomfortable with living people, I do enjoy being around spirits, they're good company in the sense I know I'm not alone, but I don't have to worry about what I say or do because they can't tease me or laugh at me (or if they can I don't hear them, lol) or whatever. They're just there. Pretty sure this dream, and the uncomfortableness I felt with the human body shape the the security and comfort I felt when the body became a skeleton has something to do with this. Not sure what the comment about space could have been about though, as I'm not sure what the exact comment was... just that it said something about having space.