side notes

You know, DEILD has always sparked interest for me. But im not good at it. In fact, ive only succeeded in this technique once, a long time ago. Then I just tried and failed miserably forever after, waiting for the day when SP would show its ugly little face again. And it did. This morning. After a series of dreams, I wake up at about 7. Now these dreams were really weird, because they all revolved around me trying to find good dream scenes for my ideal LD Movie. I like to imagine how epic an LD movie would make in RL (excluding Inception of course). In diff scenes, including one with a truck and my friend Tam, I look around.

This was amazing, because it made me experience a kind of lucidity I had never experienced before. Throughout the whole process, I kinda knew I was dreaming. Kinda. I mean, the plot itself was about dreams. So close, yet so far. At one point, im in the park in my neighborhood and my mom starts telling me how if she was lucid she could do stuff. I tell her its easy, and in my head I sort of think to myself while staring at a house: I was lucid, this house would explode. It didnt, of course. But I look at a stop sign and try to bend it with my mind. As I slowly become lucid, I wake up.

Before I even get to realise im in my bed comes instant visual HH. In my head im like: Holy shit its about time! Finally another DEILD! Vibrations start to come, but im keeping my cool. Besides, its my second time Then...I open my mouth. For NO REASON. I just felt like opening my mouth, so I did. What a jerk. To my defense, I guess I wasnt 100% aware, but I knew completely what was going on. Sigh... I guess it wasnt meant to be. I decided not to add the brief moment of lucidity at the end, because I felt it was too small to cheat. At least im at home tomorrow, I might get a chance to redeem myself.

Wel see

Ive decided to extend my DEILD idea to another level and use an alarm clock to wake me up. This proved to be much easier this morning as I managed not to move when the alarm beeped. I am happy because its the alarm on my watch and it is not very loud yet I heard it clearly. Not in REM, however.

This is my break Back into LD tonight

I am now officially a 1/5 of the way to the 100th Wave. Yay! No dream. Awww! I did realise that it has only been 20 days. It felt so much longer. Really 21 days ago I was in my Pre Dreams. Now im in my Post Dreams

I am getting more and more scared of fluctuating results when I actually do stuff in the day. Or even worse, when I stress for the next day. I see to always get a crappy day, then an awsum day, then a crappy day. I guess today's gonna be great then, since last night was a fail. Ld perhaps? Dunno. Wel see

Countdown: 12 nights left

This is bad. Again today I didnt manage to keep still after waking up one single time at seven. My excuse this time is that my cycle was messed up and I was both excited and tired, of course because of Adam Lambert. But as im running out of excuses and my previous success is slowly fading away, I am staying positive. I truly believe DEILD is my key to becoming a dream god, as it fits me so well. But until I manage to keep still in the morning, results will be close to none. What scares me is when I try to focus on a technique like this one, my recall is completely crushed. In fact, the only thing I remember from last night is how Alex sent me a message about what he could put in his luggage. I look on my cell to find out that message was imaginary. Deceptive? Yes. But im keeping my hopes up. I thought that maybe by putting a sleep mask I could control my eyes being closed and focus on movement. But that would include revealing my LD attempts to my parents while putting my hopes in a technique that is far from proven. If only I could recall while practicing at least I would feel satisfied when waking up. That is not the case, however. Using MP3s looks very attractive, as well as vitamin B6 and 12. But until I become a full fledged, dream every night oneironaut pro kickass master, lucid dreaming will be kept far from anyone excluding me. The final countdown has begun. I have only 15 nights ahead of me before school begins again, and until then I must fly. Thats my goal. Until I reach that goal, I will double my efforts and literally LIVE THE DREAM. I will combine all the techniques I have learned and my hard work will prove successful. It has to. Otherwise it will just get harder after school begins. That is why I will put all the chances on my side by doing both DILD and DEILD. No time for WILD and I cant do MILD since I must keep my mantra for stayin still. Whats left? Hope is all thats left.

Countdown to school: 15 Nights

I have stumbled upon the DEILD technique and I think it suits me very well. Though I didnt have results last night and messed up my recall because of it, I trust it will use both my extremely powerful biological clock while giving me close to nothing to do. I learned that the more a technique is demanding on my part, the smaller the results. In other words, I fuck it up every time. So a quick WILD looks like the right way to go, because DILD is too random. Even when I had my only two DILD, i feel like it was just a lucky shot and id rather induce my dreams. If I get any success with this it may also reconciliate me with the traditionnal slow WILD which has proven a complete failure so far. I also like how you get multiple attempts per night. Even though I have had no results yet, im unaware as of wether the problem is my ability to stay still when waking up or entering a dream. I guess light will shed on this mystery later on. And now, my only dream fragment of the night.

I am in Quebec in my family when I hear my Ipod ringing. I take it out of my pocket and answer. Its Shao but I dont know it. I ask who it is and he answers with something incomprehensible. I go: Ok...What do you want? He tells me to come at his place but im not even at home. I say I am in Quebec and I cant come. Whats funny is that my ipod is no phone, it cant ring!

So let me walk you through what I did yesterday night. (End of streak to 6 )

I decided to try the technique that gave me my first and only LD: The Yell And Be Mad At Yourself technique. Basicly I go in my room and start talking about how I cant seem to LD and telling myself to RC and such. It worked the first time

So I go to sleep and try to stay pissed off so its my last though before sleeping. I still try to relax and, without even wanting it, I start seeing blue in my eyes. It starts as blue, then there's a voice that is saying stuff in my head. Not just a whisper; a very clear, solid, manly voice. Also there appears to be a creepy music in the back. My first though is that my parents are watching the TV too loud. But then patterns start appearing. The form was some kind of spiky circle. I dont know what the name of the shape is. So im starting to realize I may be in SP. My heartbeat starts racing. I also felt something in my eye, some kind of tingle. Although the voice is creepy, im not scared. Hell ive been trying so hard to SP im not chickening out anytime soon. Then I stopped, because I know its impossible to dream before going to bedand im tired. Besides, I never wanted to WILD in the first place! But before sleeping, I get up and go around the house. Both parents sleeping, NO TV, NO COMPUTER. HELL YEAH! Im hallucinating! Yipee! And even if the TV was on, you cant ignore patterns and colors.

Note: This is really weird. To keep my mind awake, I started singing the song by The AA Rejects, Gives you hell. And for like a splitsecond, it felt real. It was loud, and I could hear it as clear if I was listening for real. Is that common?

Now this morning, I noticed something: My YABMAY technique not only did nothing, but completely fucked up my recall. I remember absolutely nothing, but it was to be expected. Stress and nervouseness decreases recall, I heard. I tried to see if I could go in SP again at 7 and saw blue, but no voice or pattern.

Now heres my questions:
Was I really in SP? Im used to thinking it is sleep paralysis while it is only numbness.

The first time, I was sleeping on my stomach (my reg position) but in the morning I tried on my back. Any impact?

7 is the time when Im simply not tired enough to fall asleep. At that time, I know going back to sleep is not an option. But if I try WILD in the morning, maybe my body couldnt fall asleep? After all, my mind cant.

Can YABMAY do any good? Is there a "right" way to do it so it doesnt mess up my recall?

Im thinking of turning more of my attention on WILD. I dont like going to bed not knowing wether I will have an LD or not. Luck isnt a big friend of mine. Is spending more time on WILD a mistake?

TY

BTW: Im gonna see Adam Lambert in person backstage this weekend! Wish me luck

Nothing to write about Wave 9, except that since I was in another bed that did not count and my dream streak is still at 3 while my record at 4.

Now wave 10:
I learned the hard way a lesson this morning: RC EVERY FREAKIN MORNING when you wake up.

Wake up in the hotel at morning. I look at my watch; 7:50. Crap, my family is still not up. Normally my brother and sister wake up at about 7. Especially at a hotel. Then I lye down and actually think to myself: Should I do an RC? Or not? Yes? No? And finally I go back to sleep thinking like nahh watever.

Wake up again later. Im like: Ahh what a beautiful morning! Its sunny! Yay! Im happy!

(looks at watch) And its just six fift.... No. No. NO. NO Its not 6:50! It was 7:50 a minute ago!

A serie a swearing, mental screaming (sleeping family) and despair ensues.

Noooooooooooooooooooo. How? HOW? OMFG!

And so kids, thats why you RC every morning

I am an official member of the DV Globalization Project. I have access to the forum and I now translate articles in French! Yay!
I am also the team leader and the only member in french! Plus I talked with Alex!

Unfortunately, this morning was the beginning of the end for my longest dream streak. 4 dreams in 4 nights is my current record. Still no lucidity, but im working on it. I dont consider this a failure; simply a dose of bad luck. I know im capable of recalling my dreams. My confidence is building, wich is why I can smell the lucid coming closer and closer. Besides, the reason why I didnt manage to fall asleep was because instead of focusing on dreaming I tried to WILD wich was an utter failure. Then after it I just wasnt tired enough. I got up earlier, so il just be more sleepy tonight.

Dream fragments:

Im writing something on this very site until I realise that my mom is watching what im doing. I freak out and turn off the screen.

Some kind of test is sumitted and the winner of those tests is the pokemon Metagross