Snacks From the Butler's Pantry

I was sort of half-heartedly WILDing, and got stuck in sleep paralysis. I felt my body go completely numb, and started to see the darkness at the foot of my bed get denser and form into the hazy shape of a monsterously disfigured person. I started to get absolutely terrified, and feel the most terrible sensation of cold and evil. The thing climbed onto my bed and onto my paralyzed body. It grabbed my wrists to hold me down, and stared directly into my face. It's face was that of a woman, but constantly changing. It looked like it kept changing in age - from a young attractive girl to an old mummified corpse and back again.

By this time, I was completely out of my mind terrified, but in the back of my mind I had this nagging thought that this felt familiar. I was wracking my brain trying to remember what to do to get out of this situation. I remembered that if I could get through this, I could make it to a lucid dream, but I couldn't think of what to do. For some reason, as soon as I thought the word "lucid dream", I remembered the task of the month. I somehow reasoned that if I could complete the task of the month, I could get away from this disgusting mummy lady dripping puss on my face.

I fixed my eyes on hers (the only part of my body I could still move), and yelled at her with my thoughts, "What's my new years resolution?". Her face turned to an unattractive middle aged woman, and she leaned back and smiled in a sinister way. "My new years resolution is to harvest your semen, and devour your soul," she replied.

I was now completely lucid, and no longer afraid. I asked again, "But, what's MY resolution?" She looked a little confused, and turned her head to look behind her. I noticed there was a horrible looking man standing behind her this whole time. He looked like a pale, ghostly translucent clown illuminated from within. Sort of like a combination between the albino dread locked guys from that Matrix movie, and a rotting zombie in a clown suit.

He walked towards me, and sat on the edge of my bed right beside me. "You are going to discover the ability to open portals to other dimensions. When you do, the offspring we have sired from your sperm will become all powerful and invade the planet. We will start with Hawaii, since the people there are superstitious."

I was totally lucid now, and thought this quite rediculous. "So, my new years resolution is to open a portal for some sort of demon clown invasion?" I laughed, "That doesn't sound very fun to me. I don't think I'll keep that one."

I decided I had had enough of this, and woke myself up to write it down. The weird thing is, I had a dream about that same clown guy earlier in the night before this dream.

So, if a bunch of my demon clown children warp to earth to devour Hawaii, I apologize ahead of time, guys.