non-lucid

On my way to work, I make a stop to pick up my bicycle. I forgot my shoes, but that's okay. My friend Andrew and I, instead of getting shoes, turn our lower bodies into different things... Bulls, dogs, dresses, motorcycles, etc. Every other thing we change our legs into is neon green, the other being regular color. We both settle on dogs for legs to pick up chicks.

Walking around town, it certainly gets girls' attention. They want to pet them. My dog is on a leash, a medium poodle variety. Now with regular legs and a dog, the dog pulls hard on the leash, very strong, and very excited to see people. One of the girls offers to hold the leash, but I don't think she's strong enough to do it. I walk off on my own, holding a sign instead of a leash, following another guy who is also holding a sign. "This is silly" I tell myself as I stop following him, and go inside a nearby building. Inside, I offend an old friend from High School, who starts to escort me outside to severely beat me up. I realize what he's going to do, and run back inside to lose him.

Normally, I would easily outrun him, he's a lot bigger than I am, but I'm slower than usual, and he tails me quite well up several stories of this building. He yells at me, "You're scaring the occupants by running so fast!" in an attempt to catch me. I reach the top floor, and go back down another stairway. To pick up speed, I slide down the banisters, and jump several steps at a time. He too jumps some steps, but my banister sliding moves put some distance between us. Bolting outside, I duck into a crowd and continue to run. I pass by some good friends from school who yell something at me, but I don't stop. I lay down on the slope of a hill, looking back at where I ran from. No sign of Justin, I must have lost him. There is a fugitive next to me, also hiding here. I idly play with a plastic bag as I nervously wait for something to happen. The fugitive loudly proclaims, "That's my bag!"

The police overhear us, and send the Irish government our way. They stop at the top of the hill and throw propaganda at us. One of the packets they throw looks decent, good graphics and all.

Walking home, I must cross a big river to get to the other side. Normally I would just jump across the narrow part here, which although narrow for the river, is about as far as I can jump. Today however, the river is 4 times wider, and raging like it's alive and angry. I recall there is a bridge up-stream, and take a short cut off the trail to cut a big corner out of the path. I slide down a steep hill, and continue toward the bridge.

Panicking, I see that the river has jumped its banks, and this short cut is not impossible. It leads directly to a dead-end cliff-like hill about 40 feet high, very close to the river, and where I just came from is also too steep to return. I have to jump out of the way of a few rogue waves that leap out from the others. There are some massive waves in this river, each one nearly knocks me into it.

There is some really long, thick grass growing up the side of this steep hill (basically an 85 degree angle with flat ground). I grab fist fulls of the grass, and begin my near vertical assent back to the road up above. It's really easy with all this grass! As I near the crest, there is no more grass, and the ground is very loose. Large chunks of earth fall out from beneath me. I scramble to regain my grip and my footing, but each spot I hold onto quickly crumbles away, digging the cliff summit out to be even steeper.

I am soo close to the top, I can put my hand on there, but only to pull the earth loose. I see a woman walking by, and greet her to avoid surprising her by being so close to the path, and right at foot level where she wouldn't see me until super close. She looks at me with a disgusted look that says, 'This guy is a typical risk taker' and says "Rock climbers...." with a big sign as she walks off quickly.

Disappointed that she didn't help me, nor grasp the seriousness of the situation I'm in, I continue to struggle not to fall. Looking back briefly, I see that if I fall, I will land directly into the river that has now changed course to be right below me. I also recall how never in my life have I been able to climb over a steep crest - the rock wall at summer camp, the 2 mile high cliff in my back yard, the ridge on top of the mountain - in every case, I failed to make it. It's just impossible for me.

Deciding to give it everything I've got, I try to summit to my left, but literally pull every possible hand hold loose so there is nothing more to grab onto. I try the right, and lose my grip as I rip away fist fulls of loose dirt and fall backwards. Managing to wedge my toes into a crack, I use my shin muscles to pull myself 30 degrees back to the cliff. Phew, close call! Now making sure I have good foot placement, I try to summit to the right again. Everything is pulling loose! I reach the very end of the line, nothing left to try, except a smooth, vertical rock to my right. No way to get a good grip on it at all. I split my force evenly between all fours, hands and feet, none of which are in a safe, secure spot in case I slip. Dangerously vulnerable, I continuously have to shift each hold, and scramble. I imagine making it successfully, and gently, but continuously shift my placement as I make slow progress. My head passes above the crest, but it is still steep!

I push and pull, feeling really off balance, and get my torso above the crest. To my amazement, I reach the top. "Sure footing here!"

No sooner do I reach the top, than I have a vision of Satan himself telling me in a deep demonic voice, "Congratulations, this is the first time you ever passed this test". Unsure why Satan is congratulating me, I am happy to have made it this time. A true victory over my fears.

I continue down the path, cross the bridge, and end up at my friend's mom's house. I'm get along better with her mom, so I'm not disappointed when just her mom is home. I find her testing her new home security system. She demos it for me. There is a massive vault door, with a huge lock on it. She tells me "if someone breeches the door, this is what happens..." and pushes a button on a remote. A siren plays loudly, blue and white lights flash, and inside the safe room, sitting at a desk, looking at a laptop screen, facing toward us, is a goat. Judging by the sounds coming from the laptop (goat noises), the goat is watching goat on goat porn. The goat has an intense focused look on his face as he stares into the screen, lightly illuminated by the video. I find it hilarious.

We walk into the kitchen for dinner. She offers me food and starts to eat. I already have a full plate. "I'll start with the water" I tell her, being polite, and wanting to wait until her daughter returns so we can eat together. I also want to tell her about my successful summit of the cliff, but want to wait so I can tell them both at the same time.

I have somehow found myself amidst a large army of particularly evil hearted soldiers - some of the cruelest, meanest people I can imagine, with no regard for anyone but themselves. I march with them to some yet unknown destination and try not to let on to the fact that I am not part of their group. If they learn I am not one of them, they will kill me.

As we march, we pass through a gory section of a forest with soo many dead bodies along the road, that it hurts. These are their fallen evil comrades in arms. Most of the bodies are severely dismembered and torn to pieces. Blood covers everything. Ghastly expressions on what is left of some of their faces stare blankly in all directions.

For some reason, I am near the front of the column of soldiers, right next to their leader. I am deeply touched by their loss. Even though they are bad people, I still wish they didn't have to see their friends die in such a brutal way. I imagine what it is like to have friends killed like that, and then imagine having thousands of friends killed, and deeply wish it hadn't happened for them.

The leader is also moved by this grizzly scene, and slows to a stop, then drops to his knees and lets out a sorrowful yell. I would normally hold everything in and act like a tough guy, but decide that in this case, it would be in my best interests to express my emotions. If I act too much like a tough guy, the leader might think I don't care about these men, and conclude that I am not one of them. I take half a step forward beyond the leader, and let the tears just pour. I really wish there was no suffering like what had happened to this group of comrades, no matter how evil they might be. I am overwhelmed by sorrow, and collapse to the ground, tears streaming down my face. I am too choked up to make any sounds, even though I feel like screaming.

To my right, one of the officers tells us he's going to get his cat and walks off, returning remarkably fast with a small girl who is holding a cat. The cat is obviously unhappy to be held right now, and is squirming, but cannot get free. The girl wants me to pet the cat. I look into the cats eyes, and sincerely wish for the cat to be comfortable and free from being physically controlled like this. Knowing that the sooner I pet it as the girl wishes, the sooner it will be free, I pet it once on the head. The girl is satisfied, walks off a ways, and puts the cat down on the ground.

Spoiler for really long end to the dream, less memorable and even less related to the original plot.:

Now I am completely alone, everyone else has disappeared, and I've managed to find myself on a balcony. There is a messy pile of cushions nearby. Thinking I am being helpful, I stack them neatly. Half way through this stacking, one of the soldiers returns, sees what I am doing, and nearly turns completely red in anger. "Those are blood diamond pillows!" he exclaims, as he quickly grabs as many as he can scoop up and runs off. I grab the remaining ones, and follow him to bring them wherever he wants. I picked up more than I can carry, and a few slip out of my hold. He glares at me strongly, so I tighten my grip on the rest before I set them down just 30 feet away.

Right next to this new pillow pile is a dark, damp, cold room, with a little bit of blue light coming in from mostly blocked windows. Curious what's inside here, I wander in. My stomach turns as I see full birthday suits hanging along a movable track on the ceiling. Just skins of humans, men and women. A water mister like at the grocery store keeps them moist and cold to slow down their decay. In a darker section of the room are torsos hanging from hooks. Some with and some without heads, arms, etc. I really feel like I'm seeing something that I shouldn't know about here. If whoever is in charge of this operation, whatever it is, finds out about me, they'll probably kill me to prevent the information from getting out. And I don't want to end up like one of those dismembered torsos slowly moving about the room!

I quickly run out of the room, and down some stairs to the ground level below. Next to a large fountain, several scantily clad women are just waking up and looking around to see what's going on. I un-hang some of their swimwear from the clothes line for them. I get one bra off the line, when a whole town of people run screaming past me and out the gate, sprinting along a dirt road to get away from something. I don't want to find out what it is, so I run with them.

Not very far down the road, I run into a group of 5 skater punks who block my way, forcing me to stop. I give them the bra, and notice they have some parts to a broom all in pieces. It is very fancy, red, adjustable, and with different attachments. I help them assemble it. It even has a cool name printed on the side of it. They are very happy that I fixed their tool. It looks like something you would use to clean a pool, but I'm happy that they're happy.

I now just walk calmly down the street, and find a big hill of dirt blocking the road with a tall fence on top. There is a large tunnel right through the middle. Someone else is stopped here, unsure how to pass it. I notice a bicycle next to me, so I get on it, and ride straight into the tunnel. There are three tunnel valve seals that are controlled from the outside, and fortunately all three are open, and we make it through. "Good thing no one trapped us inside!" I tell the other guy. We continue on together, and reach another obstacle, but bigger, and with three tunnels to choose from. I decide to take the middle-left tunnel, because it feels like the right one, even though it looks like the most difficult one.

There are some people inside the tunnel! They ask me if I heard a train. They are waiting for a train to cross before they safely continue on their journey. I listen for a bit, and hear a train whistle far off, but coming this way. "I hear a train" and point behind them to where it is coming from. I see it slowly approaching. The guy who made everyone in the tunnel stop is relieved that there is actually a train, because if there wasn't, his group would be very unhappy with him. I look deeper into the tunnel, and there is actually another train inside the tunnel. He stopped it to prevent a train wreck. The conductor briefly stops yelling at the man when he sees the train, and changes his demeanor completely - relieved to have avoided a crash.

I walk past this odd group, and the tunnel turns into a narrow mountain canyon. I am walking against the flow of a large line of scary, big, strong criminals, all with fierce expressions on their faces. Some yell esoteric gang greetings at me, and others give me special hand shakes. I don't know their hand shakes, so I can't follow along right. It seems like they're mocking me, teasing me for being naive about crime, and being a somewhat good person. I don't mind. I just respect each one of them, and cut through their line at appropriate times to make sure everyone gets through the narrow pass smoothly. I get a feeling that they only left me alone because I respected them.

The trail opens up, and a huge fountain becomes visible in a clearing, surrounded by 1 story buildings in a square u shape. Some people yell, "Hot tub time!" which is always a great idea. I jump in first, but it is only big enough for 1/2 a person. I get out so I'm not hogging it, and float around the outside with other people. We drift effortlessly, occasionally bouncing into each other. I relax too much, and accidentally pee into someone's 7-Up can. I dump it outside, and float it away to a spot where all the empties are so no one will drink it or know what just happened. Oops!

A few more minutes of floating, we all get out. I go to one of the nearby buildings and look in a mirror. I have long curly blonde hair. (Manly style like a cave man, or some sort of mountain man) and thick facial hair, with a good sized beard. I notice my hair is thinning on top of my head, but think J (A girl I like) will like the facial hair. Although I do think it is odd because I shaved just 2 days ago. "It must have started growing even faster than usual" I reason with myself as I go back outside, now clean shaven.

I grab a hockey stick and a puck, and go to play street hockey, but no one else is around. I take practice shots at a long 50 ft net, combining fancy foot work with shooting, both right and left handed. A few shots into it, I get really good. I shoot the puck into the net such that it bounces back out, but through the air, and then hit it out of the air back into the net. I chain goals like this for several shots with each hand. There is a menacing guy standing nearby, watching all this. I tell him "I may switch to a tennis ball to up the speed" as I notice a group of people playing street hockey in the distance. The sun has already gone down, and we are losing light fast.

I move into a college dorm room and immediately drink lots of water. I ask my friend to "be super stingy when doling out the water to people, unless of course this is a dream. Then give out lots. But let me know if it's a dream too!"

I go downstairs and bring as many 24 packs of water as I can carry back up to the room. After several trips, the room is nearly full with just water. Down on street level, there are lots of 5500 gallon glass jars of water that my friend brought over. Another friend, Julie then tells me that back in her day they would bring all of that to the room. I think that's a wise idea, but dozens of car sized glass bottles just won't fit. I get in a car and drive around the block, seeing at least 17 parking spaces where we could put some of the giant bottles.

I am standing in a big warehouse, 10 times as tall as I am, facing a wall nearly entirely composed of windows. Some starlight shines in on myself, and dozens of friends, as we wait in anticipation. "Get ready!" I hear someone yell. I crouch my stance slightly, and spread my arms for balance. Just then, like ninjas, a large group of about 50 people on hover-boards fly past the windows, throwing brightly colored swirly orbs out of their hands. They shimmer through the air, with a white smoke sort of energy exuding from them, and a faint light trail of every color. Others amongst them throw fireballs at us as they dart past the windows. On hover-boards, they are not very accurate, but their rate of fire on our small building makes up for that.

Before I am too caught up in the beauty of it, they start exploding around us, sending people flying through the air screaming. Taking it for granted that we are sorcerers, we return fire, literally sending fireballs from our palms back at our attackers, almost as you would a snowball. It sounds like a war zone with explosions, glass shattering, yelling, and the most amazing sound of flames flying through the air.

Some of my comrades are too focused on shooting down our attackers, that they lose track of the incoming energy grenades, and are blasted into dust and vapor. Seeing this, I make sure I put as much distance between myself and the grenades. Watching one of the attackers just stand on his board, over-confident in his position, I throw a ball of fire directly at him, exploding square in his chest. He is thrown backward, and falls down to the dark ocean far below the cliff our building is perched upon.

Abruptly they all fly off, out of view for a moment. No sooner did they leave, then the wall behind us explodes with a deafening bang, sending debris in all directions. Large chunks of stone scatter the room as my comrades and I re-organize ourselves. An armored personnel carrier drives through the hole in the wall, with more wizards pouring out of the back of it, all throwing fireballs in our direction, as they too duck for cover behind large chunks of the wall.

Since they are all still in one tight group, I throw three energy grenades to the same small spot, right at their feet. Peeking over the top of a massive gray stone, I watch as all three grenades explode in quick succession with dazzling white and blue lights.

So I am tied to a giant clock, with my head right where the pendulum swings. Chucky laughs at me as he gets everything in place. Then the pendulum (with spikes on it) swings into my head, knocking it over to the other side, where it hits yet more spikes. After a few rounds of this, I bite on to an edge of the clock, to hold myself out of the way, and manage to get a pry bar from somewhere and attempt to dismantle the clock. Chucky gets in my face now, and reminds me of how he had to remove each one of my ribs with that very pry bar, and he'll do it again if I don't stop. A vivid, painful memory of just that happening flashes in my mind, but I go for the escape anyway.

I jump into a series of rooms, and shut Chucky into one of them, as I run to the next one. Soon, I realize the rooms are connected with a shared bathroom, so I shut the bathroom door on Chucky's side. But there is a hole on the bottom of it, just big enough for him to crawl through, so I shut the other door, but the same sort of hole is there too! Chucky slowly crawls through toward me, laughing an evil laugh as he does so, and talking about how painful it is going to be when he kills me. As he starts to emerge into the room I am hiding in, I bite him in the face! This seems to have hurt him, so I bite him again, taking a big chunk off his head. Since he's having a hard time getting through the hole quickly, I take a few more bites at him until he is sort of dazed by this.

Grabbing Chucky, I crumple him into a ball, and run out of the house, and up the street where there is an outdoor cafe. An older woman looks at me, as if she knows exactly what's going on. She offers me some gravy sauce and biscuits. I sit down at the table next to hers, cover Chucky with gravy sauce, and eat him with biscuits. She gives me another biscuit before she leaves. As I finish off Chucky, I wish there was a more pleasant way to do this than to eat him. Biting into his stomach, I expect a bunch of gross juices to be in there, but it's just hollow, like a doll. Not that gross after all, but really tough to chew. The gravy and biscuits make it easier to swallow.

After recovering a large metal tank that fell from the sky, and driving it to the lab, I monitor a pressure gauge as I adjust the oxygen valve, trying to maintain 1 atmosphere of pressure inside the container. I suspect the gauge is faulty, due to a big lag time in response, and in the wild swings from high to low pressure. A smart man from India tells me that the pressure is really determined by the temperature. I think he's just being a jerk, but can't think of any good comebacks based on PV=nRT, given that the volume is a constant, and I already mentioned the pressure.
Done with the experiment, he starts to wrap up some empty crates to ship back to the warehouse. I go to grab a rope to tie them all together, cut off 4 arm spans worth of it, and return to see he already wrapped it using shrink wrap. Happy that I tried to help, despite disagreeing with him, I walk up the road to relax a bit.

I find a corner to a room, with shelves meeting the wall. It is designated as the "Hollywood Corner" I am surprised that it doesn't smell like alcohol. In fact it smells very clean. It even looks clean. How strange! I tell my friend who is with me that "it's the hollywood corner, and it doesn't smell like beer!" I see some clean boxes of caffeine free soda neatly on the shelf. She is uninterested, but I think this is amazing and tell her friend who is behind her, "You'll never believe this, the Hollywood Corner doesn't smell at all like alcohol!" She is shocked, so I tell her again.
Before I can finish saying it again, my friend starts tickling me. It tickles so much, normally I would have to pee, but I don't. So I give in to being tickled, and don't fight it. She enjoys this and tickles me more!

The tickling gets so intense, that it reaches a whole new level of tickle. Hard to describe. But as a result of being tickled, my mind encompasses my surroundings, and spontaneously manifests itself as chocolate bars, chocolate Easter bunnies, and chocolate eggs, all nicely wrapped. As the tickle intensity further increases, so do the chocolates that appear everywhere around us, on the floor, on the shelf, on the wall. I don't like chocolate, but my friend does