sedrick

I was at an enormous yard sale for video games. It was set up on the town square. The organizer of the event was this tiny little chubby guy with blonde hair and a mustache. He appeared to be in his late forties. He was very animated. He was telling me about what sort of video games were good. I remember him as saying, "Once you've played Batman, you'll never want to play dumb Superman again".

At that point, I like saw Superman wearing his normal outfit, but it had the red-and-white-spider-web motif that Spider Man's suit has. He was in a triumphant pose and about to blast off into the sky.

Then I noticed there was a trampoline standing nearby, so I got on it and started jumping. Then I just randomly leaped off it and landed on my stomach and laid completely still. I wasn't hurt, but the little video game guy got REALLY scared and thought I had seriously injured myself or even died. He started crying and he ran over to where I was lying. I got up and showed him I wasn't hurt. He was sooooooo relieved. He gave me a great big tearful hug. He only came up to like my waist.

My mother had a baby, and I was so proud of it. Yaay, I'm a brother!!

I bought a sort of zither thing which you played with a bow. I paid for it with money I had cut out of the local newspaper, which printed money in every issue.

Weird men were walking around in giant copper mechanical gorilla suits.

There was this strange man with binoculars strapped to his eyes who loved to watch the old lady across the street use the bathroom. He even had the GPS coordinates for her toilet. The pervert.

I took violin lessons from Professor Snape, and one day I forgot to bring my violin. I was mortified!

My mother and sister were baking something, and these two old men were kind of aimlessly wandering around our kitchen. twice, one of them nudged my elbow and said in a hillbilly accent, "Good Lord, boy!". The second time this happened, my mother started giggling uncontrollably.

My mother had a pinched nerve, and she read online about a remedy. She took some dill seed, some Fresca soda and some coconut oil, and combined it all in a glass. If the draught was to be at all effective, she had to drink it as fast as she could. She did. It tasted terrible.

Me and a couple other people had been imprisoned in a warehouse built on a lonely rock on the sea by some disgusting insect-like bounty hunters. There was a sort of rope on a pully used to unload goods from ships, so we attached a heavy weight to the rope and used it to batter our way through the brick wall.

Without getting into too much detail, a boy sexually assaulted a girl with his foot.

There was this huge mansion where all the lamps were alive and worked as household servants. The color of their lampshades determined their status in the household. The darker the color, the higher the position. One had a light-blue-colored shade, and she found a big tub full of black dye. Needless to say, she was soon very important.

A highbrow British terrorist hijacked an airplane and threw the pilot overboard. As he flew away, he muttered under his breath, "Who did that guy think he was? You, sir, are the epitome of idiocy".

I saw the earth from space. Millions of blinking red beacons, like cell phone towers, were scattered over the land surface. They reached way up into the sky. I saw the continent of Atlantis, right in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. For some reason, the area of earth Atlantis was on shifted south, and I could see that another piece of land lay directly underneath where it had been.

A strange man was feeding a young boy some pink goo that he called earth water. It was actually menstrual emissions. Eating it produced a chicken egg in the boy's hand.

My mother and her mother were having a dinner party in a sewer system. I set up a disco ball over the table.

My dead father had somehow been resurrected. He was much different from what he had been. All he cared about were cows and money. I didn't feel like he really loved me.

I was driving down a highway somewhere in Iowa. There were fields stretching off into the horizon on both sides of the road. it was late afternoon. There were no other people on the road.

I came over a rise, and saw something strange. Over off the road in a tobacco field on my right, a man was being crucified. I pulled over and got out to get a better look. The cross was t-shaped and about thirty-to-fifty-feet high. It was secured with metal cables. From the two arms of the cross some material was hung, like silk or plastic wrap. it formed these "wing" sort of things, like those wings on the flying suits that people wear.

The man being crucified appeared to be a white man made up in African ceremonial dress and paint. He even had two bones stuck in both his nostrils. Much to my surprise, he was laughing. It was a deep and sinister-sounding laugh.

On the ground were the people who had put him up and come to watch him die. They were all Amish people, and they stood around silently and emotionless with there arms crossed, looking up at him.

A young man met a boy who claimed to be his long lost brother. But it turned out he actually wasn't, and the false brother kidnapped the young man and forced him at gun point to make humiliating phone calls to all his friends. In total, he was forced to make 470 of these calls. Then the false brother murdered him.

I was in a men's restroom with the door open. I has holding a white latex surgical glove. I took some scissors and cut about an inch off the end of the index finger. I filled this up with water from the sink, tied the open end and threw it like a water balloon against the wall. It burst and splattered water. Then two girls came to the door and looked in at me. I picked up the remains of the finger, held it out to them and said, "Look! It's Professor Siri!"

A man in a cartoon was killed by various sentient industrial-grade film cameras.

My sister and I were playing hide and seek in our house. Instead of stairs, we had holes in the floor with ladders.

As I was looking, I was walking backwards for some reason. I abruptly turned around, and just inches from my face there was a black cat, standing on its hind legs leaning out over the edge of a table, absolutely motionless. It's mouth was wide open, and it stared fixedly at me with yellow eyes.

Then I found my sister. It was my turn to hide. I hid in a closet. When she found me she was incredibly sad, and her eyes were red and wet. She had had an enormous mood swing.

I lived in the country during World War 5. One of my friends had a job as a mail carrier, and she hated it because she has bad knees.

I was riding down a road on the back of a flat-bed pickup with a bunch of noisy teen boys. They were all carrying rocket launchers and machine guns and grenades and stuff. As we drove down the interstate, we would occasionally drive passed a big billboard. At that point, the boys would all jump off, run up to the sign and just DESTROY it with their weapons. Pretty epic.

I dreamed that I was less than three inches tall.

Allan Rickman played a vampire on a television show.

I was at my friends house at night, scaring little kids by telling the stories about Slender Man and locking them up in cages.

I was at a tech conference. Apple was revealing a new computer that could talk interactively with you. Just for fun, they decided to let the computer give a speech that it had come up with on its own. They set it up on a podium. It talked about how much better it was than other competing brands' computers. Afterwards, the crowd went wild, gave it a standing ovation and voted it the best computer of the year.

There was a boarding house in Paris, France. It was a very cute apartment and was very nicely decorated. And it was like right next to the Eiffel Tower. My mother was the owner of the boarding house, and I was part of the housekeeping team. My job was to go into all the different rooms and spray some chemical on the beds. Then in my spare time I went out and took photos of the Eiffel Tower.

I was cleaning the beds one day when I went into a room and found my mother talking to this young french lady. As I sprayed the bed, I listened in on their conversation. The french girl was telling my mother about a new exercise technique that she had invented. It involved taking the fat on your belly between two fingers and pinching it really hard for about half an hour. My mother was quite taken with this technique, and said she would give it a try. Then the girl told my mother that she had once had a record high of 520 dreams in a single night. Obviously my mind was blown and I thought to myself, "Wow, she must be an amazingly talented lucid dreamer! I wish I could do that!" I failed to do a reality check.

Then there was something about Jake the dog from Adventure Time going to an antique store. I was also for sale in the antique store, standing behind glass. This girl I like was looking at me, and coming up really close to the glass. Then I saw this huge monster walking around the store. It looked like an enormous hairy lemon with legs. These little girls thought it was funny, and ran around between his legs. Their hair tickled his underside and it angered him, so he grew these twig-like, flaky hairs out of the top of his head. They curved around over his body, and punctured his underside and grew back into his skin. So he was surrounded by this thick, woody shield that leaved only his two legs exposed. The girls couldn't tickle him anymore.

Then I was Oliver Twist, and I was being chased by Fagin through London. He eventually got worn out and laid down on a park bench and fell asleep. I went up slowly to him. He had a pet monkey that was sitting on his shoulder. I fed it some bubble gum.

Then I got back to my house. It was very late. My mother came up to me and said, "Hey, I let Fagin into the house". And I was obviously utterly shocked and outraged. But she assured me he wouldn't do anything, and that he was fast asleep. Then I asked my mom, "Why aren't you in bed?" And she said, "What? Good grief, I never sleep. I thought you knew that."

I saw myself in a mirror. My face looked basically the same, but the skin of my face was really really dry and peelly, and the skin of my face was flaking off and blowing away.

I was walking around downtown Chicago. There was this huge canvas tent that took up an entire city block. It was several stories tall and had different floors inside it. I stepped inside.

It was like this huge antique store with lots of fancy, expensive stuff. One dealer came up to me, and he was like, "Check out this awesome telescope I've got for sale!" I checked it out. "Look at how easy it is to fold up! I mean, look at how smoothly all the little wheels work!" He showed me all the bells and whistles, but I was unimpressed, so I moved on.

I went up to like the middle story of the tent. There were lots of naked women sitting around. I was totally unprepared for that, and it made me really embarrassed. (You bet.) They were apparently dancers in a musical that was happening in a playhouse across the street, and they were getting into their costumes. One lady with nothing on below the waist came up to me and took me by the arm. Apparently, part of her outfit were these flesh-toned pantyhose with pubic hair glued to the genital area, and it had gone missing. (Supposedly it was to make her appear to be naked without actually having to BE naked.) She wanted me to find them for her, but I couldn't.

Then all the performers cleared out, except for about three people. One in particular I noticed. She was sitting on the floor, listening to one of the other two tell a story. It was apparently a funny story, and she laughed a lot and seemed to enjoy herself.