non-lucid

[Thursday, September 5th, 2012]
(It's been a week almost since the last real recall... Nathan and Alex have been waking me up every attempt. I need a less alarming wake-up from now on. Less distraction. I need to be patient. The weed hasn't been helping, so I've decided to quit. At least for two weeks. So my next smoking date can be on the 20th.)

(The dream I had before Nathan woke me up):
The short recall of the dream started with- I was sitting in the car with Alex driving and Nathan in the back seat. We were in Surprise, around the Walmart area in the parking lot. It was probably around 5-6PM because it was light out still, but obviously towards the end of the day. I was singing two songs at once... having trouble determining the difference between them. The first one that I recall thinking about in the dream was, "Simplistic Trance-Like Getaway" by Never Shout Never. But also, at the same time it sounded like another song... "Beginner's Mind" by Bright Eyes. Around the same time, we were pulling out of the parking lot and heading home to Wickenburg. The last thing I remember was watching the powerlines pass. That's when Nathan woke me up in WL by rapping at my window.

(That was a very interesting choice of song. They both were... very... involved in my state of WL. I couldn't help but feel chills listening to the words after I had woken up. How could I know to choose those songs? Does my subconscious have control of my dreambody when my waking consciousness doesn't? Should I treat it as a seperate entity? I think so.)

[Friday, August 31st, 2012]
I'm now a member of an underground club (that I can't help but relate to WoW guilds) that meets online sometimes... but this is just a ruse/disguise. The real club is located just outside of town, off the out-of-town highway. I go in the first time and I'm pretty awkward. I ask for a cigarette and someone gives me a halfie. I have trouble lighting it but do it a strange way... it impresses someone. (By the way, we are inside a strange warehouse-hideout with ramps and rails like an indoor skatepark. There is a control room elevated on a platform in the center of the warehouse.) Suddenly it's time to go, so we all slowly make for the exit. I notice a blonde hair girl walking way ahead of me and say something to one of the members beside me. The dream fades.

+

Now I'm at school. I'm broke and lost, and I'm trying to find my way through a hallway filled with countless kids I know. I come to a fork and follow Jessie Brumley to the right. It leads outside with a sign that has 4 numbers, some of them double digit. These must be room/class numbers. I realize this is the wrong way because of how few classes are that way. I return to the left to find Malakie, she's standing by a set-up table and making sure that kids get food tickets for lunch. Apparently, it is lunch time right now. I approach and am next, but 3-4 girls cut me off by making a line and take my place. I make it obvious I'm annoyed but get back in line. This time when I get to Malakie, she hands me a $5 bill and then a $20 bill. I'm surprised, but thrilled. She notices my confused face, "You have no money! Take it." she insists. I'm grateful, "Thank you." I say politely. I walk out the door behind her.

+

[Dream memory first starts to become clear here]
I'm with my Dad, and he's unhappy about something. We make our way through the same dirt road from the same out-of-town highway. We walk in silence and he slowly morphs into the leader of the Underground Club. We reach our hideout and he takes me to the center room and (memory is kind of foggy here again) he talks to me for awhile. Very slowly and calmly, he turns into a ghost. He's dying right in front of me. When he's dead, he makes me leader for some reason. I only understand that he's dead and he gives no apparent sign of being dead, other than now being very quiet. He doesn't vanish or fall over... I ask him, "Can you at least walk with me?" I'm referring to outside. He stares at me and nods...

Once we're outside, we meet an RM member outside who is unaware of the ex-leader's condition. He must be early to a meeting. I take a closer look at him and he has a Renji/Excelzior feel to him, as if he's important and experienced within the Club. The ex-leader speaks to him, "I'm done and gone. I'm out of here." Renji casually nods, "Okay." and waves us off. I start to walk a little prouder. I am the new leader after all.

My memory skips a bit. We're still just outside, but now I'm in front of a fenced off area. To the left beyond the fence is a hole in the earth. It's enourmous. There's one on the right too. Suddenly, I'm with the club, or at least with some of them. I'm extremely different, I have my personality back: I'm Moki, and I talk cute, but with an aire of confidence and knowledge, and a hint of mischief. (Like the Cheshire Cat, or ___ from Tiger/Dragon) In front of eveeryone, I'm so happy I could fly. So I do. I flap my arms and hover face-foward to the ground for a moment before slowly/surely lifting up higher. Except for one Galkan-looking man, the rest of the club is sitting on a platform next to the fence. I try to fly up but the big Galka man snatches me out of the air and sets me up on the platform with the rest of the members before I can make it myself. I wake up.

+ [I record the first half of this on paper, then fall asleep again after failing to WILD.]

Now I'm back on the dirt road, but this time with Alex, Nathan, Casey, and two other RM's, and it's dusk. I'm going to show them the hideout and the holes. We make our way down the road which seems to take longer than usual. It's different. We finally make it to where the club house is and there's only a... shack. It's not here now. I turn to the holes behind the fences, and instead of finding what I remember, I see a cemetary. We approach the cemetary anyways; I'm not giving up yet. The others stoop down to read the stones while I enter and walk through the gate. Once inside, we don't find what we were looking for... but a normal looking man walks in front of me and says something ironic. (I wish I could remember.)

(I can't believe I didn't become lucid in the last dream. I had JUST recorded this dream in my journal... )

[Wednesday, August 29th, 2012]
(Three dreams. My dad was in some of them. But overall failed recall.)
(EDIT: I just remember one of the dreams. It was a nightmare.)

The entire dream was me trying to complete some strange paranormal competition event. There were thousands of participants. It consisted of a number of phases and it was spread out over an open scene with changing environments. For instance, most of the land was forest, but just up north, there was a line that seperated icy wasteland from it, and to the south; desert.

The earliest stage I really "remember" was Phase 6: We were transported back in time to World War II and were in front of an enormous cathedral. I walked in with a group of 3-4 other RM's, us being way behind the rest of the crowd. There were no guards in the first room, in fact there wasn't anyone. The rest were all in the next room with the pupit in front and the benches facing it. Everyone had crowded in there for some reason, and Hitler was giving a speech to them. I remember hearing screams and suddenly there was growls and gunfire. (I was so thankful for being slow.) We turned to the left and followed a short hallway to a few joint-bedrooms where we discussed what to do next. For SOME odd reason, the rest of the group came up with the BRILLIANT idea that two of them would have sex in the bed as if it would solve anything. I went with their plan. I was to have guard duty outside in the hallway. The man who was going to have sex with one of the women asked me if it was okay that he was doing this, as if this woman was my lover or something. I shrugged; I didn't know any of them. They were all unrecognizable DC's. They started and I walked out of the room and sat down in the hallway with my back to the wall and waited.

The next thing I know, we WON. We advanced to the next round, and I wasn't even sure how. Maybe all we had to do was survive. Our group somehow also aquired a map that was coded that didn't help us in any observable way.

Onto Phase 7. The host (who happened to be an Owl-being) told us that we would have to find the next area on our own. At this time we were standing by an old rotting two-story house and the forest around us was in just of bad condition. Spooky. But the house was locked all around. 4 ninjas (probably Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles too.) seperate from our group, walked past and I overheard them trying to figure out what to do next. They were stumped like us. Once they were gone, I climbed the building to the roof and climbed in through the belltower's window on top. The rest of my group followed suit. Once in, a few more people leaked in, but there had to be less than 10 total. When our group reached a familiar hallway that resembled my old home's hall, we all split up and took a different room. The room I had was my old bed room. There were two others in the room with me. We were tearing it up looking for a clue... a treasure... anything. Suddenly, a loud buzzing noise erupted from outside the room. I ran out to hear screams and laughter and my heart skipped a few beats as I listened. Everyone in my group was already dead. The two people in the room I had just been in had vanished. I was alone. I heard a sick laugh again and suddenly the darkest music began to play and I heard someone screaming, "TATTOOS AND CLOWNS. TATTOOS AND CLOWNS." It was a fucking demon clown. He was coming for ME. I thought about hiding behind a propped up mattress, but scurried to the doorless-closet instead. There was a small bit of wall to hide behind at least there. Back to the wall and out of sight, I waited in silence. My heart began to race faster and faster and faster until I couldn't take it anymore. I woke up; my heart still beating out of control.

[Monday, August 27th, 2012]
The recall starts at a party inside of a strange building. [**1**] (The Blueprints are in my img/ref folder.) The whole place is dark, walls painted black, but flooded with neon lights and bright stars on the walls that give the party an outer space kind of vibe. Maybe it's this vibe that gave me... THE ABILITY TO FLY. Without being aware of my dreaming, I could levitate and simply flap my arms to push myself high into the air. But I wasn't able to will myself up... I would slowly drift downward if I didn't flap. The building has a pretty high ceiling, but plenty of places to fly and sit up high.

I'm in backroom when I suddenly have the idea to try and perform in front of the party on-stage. I see some other musicians close-by and convince them to play with me. I put on my guitar strap as we make our way to the stage.

Once there... I begin wondering what the other musicians prefer to listen and ask them: "So what kind of music do you listen to? I listen to mostly 98 KUPD and 93.3... rock and alternative." (I asked this same question to a friend in WL named Brandon the day before this... I was trying to figure out what to listen to while driving with him.) I was suddenly aware that they might not know these stations, I remembered we were currently located in Phoenix... but then dismissed my doubt when I realized they had the same stations. I told them I listened to "Deftones, Incubus..." and more that I can't remember. No one really was responding. That's when I glanced down at my guitar strap and realize there's no guitar on it.

Amazed at my stupidity, I fly back to the Backroom and look for my guitar. Nathan hands me my red Fender Squire and I remember thinking, "Ugh... this'll do..." and Alex reminds me that it's all I have- in response to my thought. I head back to the main room, flying again...

My memory fades...

[Tuesday, August 21st, 2012]
I was in a multiple faded dreams that were set in a labrynth metropolis city of stone and metal that was built into the side of a supercliff, an empty ocean trench. I could see the sky most of the time, and it was the deepest blue you could imagine. Me and a group of friends were exploring the city and trying to find treasure. The funny thing is, the city wasn't abandoned. One fragment I remember was being on a flat metal surface with patterns of criss-crossed steam lines that went on and off... they were dangerous so you either had to time it when you were to walk, or jump over them carefully. I tried timing my walk and burned myself... Frustrated at the rest of my group's ease of travel over the steam, I tried jumping and somehow managed to do it perfectly...

The very last thing I remember, was crowding around an elevator that led to an off-limit room. We were debating whether or not to go in, since it was probably off-limits, but I pushed myself in without hesitation. Me, two girls, and two guys. On our way up, the guys vanished. Suddenly the elevator reversed directions and headed down... I said, "Well... we can just tell them we were looking for the bathroom." One of the girls agreed, knowing that it was a half-joke. Once out of the elevator, I sprinted ahead to the left saying, "I'll just use that bathroom over there! BE RIGHT BACK." I followed the open labrynth toward a bunch of rusty-white metal platforms, suspending high up against the rocky wall. There were ladders, but I jumped up and scrambled myself up the side of the platform. (I really had to pee...) The guy who had dissapeared earlier was sitting lifelessly to the right. He phased in and out and appeared as colored metal rings for a moment. I think he had stolen something... or hurt himself... Just then, the other guy appeared, and he was muscular and shirtless and resembled my WL friend, Nathan... he picked up the injured man and began walking the direction I was headed. "Hey, I'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick, when I get back, I'll carry him for awhile."
My dreamscape faded to reality. (I was in an extremely uncomfortable position in WL and had to pee REALLY BAD. I emptied my bladder and here I am. I'm not skilled enough to jump back in my dream.)*

*(I'd like to add, that around 7:00PM, me and my friend Nathan [the buff character from the dream] were sitting on a bench around town in WL, after smoking some weed stuff... I looked up at the sky and saw the EXACT blue sky as in the dream. It was impossibly blue, and was getting dark fast. Just as I mentioned all of this to Nathan, another friend of ours called and asked if we could give him a ride. Come to think of it, the lifeless guy from my dream looks strikingly similar to the one we were about to give a "ride" to, his name was Kyle. Kyle's a pretty weasley/stingy guy sometimes... Maybe he did steal something too!)

[Sunday, August 19th, 2012]
The farthest back memory I had was me looking up at the sky and seeing "acid-green colored skies" and the lightning being really bad. (We were in the backyard of my Grandma Barbara's house, but it was different... an open grassy plain stretched out as far as I could see.) I was there with two other RM people (most likely Alex and Nathan) while they talked and I hid under the awning and looked up to see meteors/chaotic storms, followed by feelings of danger. I ended up inside someone's vehicle and I sat there a second. Suddenly, the sky went black. I could see a crowd of dimly illuminated figures to the left (an aura of evil and dread surrounding them) and a panicked group of approaching figures from the right. I locked the doors. The panicked group reached first and began to pound on the door. I opened it for them. My memory cuts to me inside with an enormous stack of pizza. I had no appetite, but I grabbed one box and walked outside. People were everywhere and relaxed. I walked to the vehicle and Nathan was there, where I handed him the box and he was surprised that I hadn't had a piece yet. Everyone else had plenty already.

And then there were monsters everywhere. People were dying and screaming. My dream ends abruptly to TV noise. Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood was on.

(I remember more, but nothing specific: FMA was sending dreamscapes and scenerios to me in my sleep. I remember thinking: Wow. This is really fucked up. No wonder my dream is so fucked right now. I bet I could pull more out of it if I watched that episode again. Edward was yelling at Envy in the episode...)

+

(Later that morning, I had fallen asleep again.) I was on my way to school in Nathan's Dad's truck... Casey was there sitting next to me instead though.
Then I was outside in the lunch area at school, where Alex and a group of other people were sitting together facing me. Zack flipped me off, but thought I didn't notice. I got Alex to get his attention for me, where I grinned and flipped him off right to his face.

Memory skips to me in a science class with an unfamiliar teacher that reminded me of a cross between Ms. Meyers and a random substitute teacher. Zack was there sitting quietly in the back of the room and no one else that I really "recognized"... so either they were all RM's or random DC's. I was in my chair, none of my homework from the previous week done. Nor was my 5 day science experiment done. I considered begging teachers for makeup work or for them to at least tell me what I was missing. Ms. Meyers(?) recognized me for my attendence- in front of the class. Also, I remember a girl who looked really lonely. I tought her to kiss (My dream self is pretty daring.) and I remember saying things like, "Slow down... slow down..." and "You can dry your lips a little too..." She bore resemblence to Kendra, but had features of Alex too. This girl was nothing more than the spirit of innocence.

[Wednesday, August 16th, 2012]

My dream recall is horrible... But I remember being in the middle of a small indoor lake. There was someone chasing after me, so I tried getting into a convenient turtle-driven boat. My companions and I were instantly turned into turtles ourselves. We hid behind the boat, and swam away slowly, so we weren't noticed. We gained quite a bit of distance before the pursuer (who now appeared as a turtle/humanoid entity) spotted us and began chase again. The room began to fill with white light the closer he got, until the dream ended.