memorable

This morning I visited the doctor to get some blood taken. During the drawing process, I lost consciousness. The time in between was basically lost--I do not have any real solid feeling of "being" anywhere, except some flitting images or colors that my mind was attempting to process. I couldn't even really claim to have had a "self" at this point--basically just a feeling of confusion and bewilderment. In retrospect, I imagine this is what animals must feel like at times, and it was highly . . . disconcerting.

As I began to come out of it, in darkness, I had the distinct feeling of being in both a sitting position and a lying position, and it became crucial to me to understand which of these my body was currently in. Once I was revived (eyes open and conscious) I still did not recognize any of the people there (my doctor and two nurses) or where I was until my doctor explained what had happened. I tried to explain my confusion: "I didn't know where I was!" My doctor very compassionately nodded, as though he understood. Maybe he did. Very unpleasant experience--basically fatigued for the rest of the day with a mild headache.

So here was what came to me: was what I experienced coming out of the state (or within the state? hard to say) an example of what death will "feel" like? If so, I can only say I expect it will be terrible--at least the dying part.

Good morning, Dreamviews. Lots of dreams and fragments last night, but in particular:

2:33 AM: I am trying to win my ex-girlfriend back. I know she will be on a tour of this castle (she is thinking of buying it as a home) so I plan to be there as well and also take the tour. I am somehow under the impression that we planned to take this tour together, but when she shows up, she sees me and then looks away, as though she is pretending I am not there. She tells the guide she is here for her tour. I think about staying quiet and just leaving, but then decide to speak up. I tell the tour guide I would also like to take the tour. She seems uncomfortable now.

We head up through the castle, until we finally get to a section with a garden walkway and a well. At this point, my ex's mom puts her hands under my shirt and rests them on my torso. Her hands are cold and I squirm. She tells me it feels like I have been working out. I assure her I haven't been She then comments to my ex that "she might as well hold hands with the guy who is trying to win her back." We hold hands, but I am now conscious of her crying quietly. Very odd dream, Dreamviews! Any ideas?

9:52 AM: I am in my mom's dining room. My wife and one of her friends is here. A kid suddenly shows up. He looks a bit odd but I seemingly mistake him for a former coworker. We begin discussing a dream group. I tell him his brother has already signed up, and that he should as well. We talk a bit about lucid dreaming. He says "A girl I work with does that stuff."

"Have you talked to her about it? I ask.

"Nah, she is too thick," he replies.

I ask him what he means. He then replies in a bunch of mumbo-jumbo, and then salutes me. I find this exceedingly odd, but don't want to be impolite. I ask him how he is enjoying his job. He tells me he has only been there a few weeks.

"Aren't you still working for the zoo?" I ask.

He now looks oddly at me. "Who do you think I am?" All of a sudden, I notice he is not my friend and I nose pinch.I can breathe, but all of a sudden, I go deaf! I am now uncertain of my status--is this a dream? I look at my hand: it is wobbly and weird, but when I look again, it is stable and normal. I show my hand to my wife, as though to say, "Look! What do you see??" She ignores me and continues her conversation. I decide to settle this once and for all. I set off down the hallway to find some text. However, I do so discreetly, so in the case that I am not dreaming, I don't act like a nut in front of everyone. I accidentally bump my wife's shoulder as I pass her and I wake up.

So competition goers, I'm asking you guys: was I lucid? I wrote it down in my paper DJ as a lucid immediately upon waking, but I don't want to take advantage of the system! Let me know what you think!

6:27 AM: My mom is driving me to school in the city (I never went to a school in the city!). We are running a bit late (. . . skipping some NL details, getting to the good stuff ). Once she drops me off and heads to work, I realize I have forgotten my lunch (a caramel and chocolate protein bar) and my bite guard (in case I want to take a lucid nap!). I turn and run back to the drop-off area, scanning the busy thoroughfare for my mom. Students and people are moving all over the place. I finally see her; she is moving back in my direction carrying my book bag. I think of several things to say, and one seems most appropriate: "You brought my bag." (Please don't try to make sense of this!)

She replies, "At least you said that." She seems grateful. Now that I have my things, I am heading (finally) towards school, when all of these emergency personnel get in my way. Seems there has been some sort of accident. I have to thread around behind them. As I do so, it occurs to me that I have no idea what my school is like on the inside. I know it isn't the first day, and I marvel that I have been on autopilot so much at school! I am excited to see what this new school will be like! I then nose pinch, in order to be certain I am not dreaming.

Ah, I see. I look around and notice a friend from WL. In WL he is a very towering guy, and he looks the same in this dream. I ask him, "So even this isn't real." It's more of a statement than a question.

He looks at me and nods. He then proceeds to say something deep that I have now forgotten. I decide that this DC is legit and ask him some more questions.

"Does the dream world contain stability?" I ask. "Does it contain stable locations?"

He shakes his head. "You create and control dreams."

"What is the most important aspect of dream knowledge?" I ask.

He looks at me as though he is a bit surprised or nonplussed. He then points at me, as though the answer is obvious.

"You mean controlling myself?" I ask.

"I mean controlling your mind," he replies.

We are now somehow in a small, empty diner. I ask him if he can help me control my mind. He nods and extends his hand. I take it and he proceeds to hurl me into the air towards the ceiling. I turn in the air and fall to the ground. My shin bangs one of the diner tables. This actually feels just like I imagine it would in WL--painful. I tell him so. He makes a face (like I am being a whiner) and points to a more open area.

As I am moving, however, it dawns on me that even pain in the dream world isn't real, and as I think this, the feeling evaporates. I realize I can't be harmed. In a moment, I remember Mancon's guide for flying (in particular, let the clouds suck you into the sky). I try this briefly but don't have time to work it properly as my pal has already grabbed me again and tossed me into the air. I now fly into a whirling ceiling fan and smack against the blades. This does not hurt, however.

My friend continues to sling me by my arm into the air. A voice comes over the PA telling me to come to the dean's office, but I realize I do not have to go, as I am dreaming. The theme from Mortal Kombat begins to play.





I am mid air (and mid-fan) when I awake. My heart is pounding and I assume the adrenaline pushed me out of sleep.

Red: DV members
Blue: Lucid

2:10 AM: Fragment. In an enchanted garden at night. All of the creatures here (mainly butterflies) are constructs, and are designed to "find out" thing about people (listening at the proper moment, or asking particular questions). This has something to do with sleep and dreaming but C/R (can't remember).

5:43 AM: (FA) I attempt WILD, which initiates missed FA. gab sees me trying to WILD and decides to help. She explains her method of WILDing: she visualizes Naruto in meditative posture (yeah right) before a big battle. She says the moment Naruto gets into meditative posture, he begins telling her he is ready to WILD. "I can see people fighting," he says. "The closest fight is the best one!" and "I'm ready right now," and "I'm still ready" and finally, if gab misses these cues, "I've woken up!" I marvel at how easy it is for gab to WILD!

The dream transitions to a false WBTB (lol) where I am ordering pizza with Sensei and a coworker. I have to walk down a long dirt road to get to my room, but am excited about having pizza. I explain to my coworker and Sensei that I will probably not have any soda because I need to return to bed for the competition. I also look at myself in the mirror at some point. Nothing weird; I just look tired. I contemplate taking Galantamine, then remember that it was hard to fall back asleep after a lucid dream. I reassure myself by remembering that we've just purchased some blackout curtains and I can sleep as late as I need to. I then take the Galantamine (?) but cannot remember a moment later if I took it or not. I ask my coworker if I took it. He says he thinks so. I tell him this is important, and is he sure? He assures me he is certain, and says, "You took something from that bottle." I am satisfied. I ask him if he wants one and he declines, saying he has heard it is ineffective. I assure him it has worked for me in the past, though he chalks this up to my "good recall." He admits his recall is very bad. I say mine has not been so great either lately.

(WBTB, WILD attempt 2)

7:24 AM: Meeting a Tibetan medicine student in a grocery store. We have an argument about how best to induce lucid dreams. He is trying to sell me some junk medicine. He then says that "half of the mind is dark" when travelling in different countries, which is why I am not remembering dreams. I tell him this is ridiculous and that the mind is never "dark." He becomes angry and says he cannot teach me anything. I try to calm him down. "Can't we have a discussion?" I ask. "Is homeopathy always right?"

"Yes," he says. He storms off. He then returns and says he is going to inform my "carlo" (no idea what that is) and my lama as to my rudeness. He also says he is going to find "all of the people that love me" and inform them too. I begin to get angry now to the point of violence. I implore him not to contact my friends and family, and get involved in my affairs. I also explain to him that our relationship is business, so do not make it personal. "Tell me you are understanding reality right now," I say.

A child I know wants to get past me to the drink cooler. I move out of the way. I am conscious now of making a scene, and decide to walk away. I head over to the freezer section, thinking I will preemptively call my lama and inform him of some lunatic who will be calling soon. I doubt he'll be mad at all. I meet a little old lady in the freezer section, and she asks for help finding the "orange juice with sugar." I begin digging through the freezer trying to find it. She tells me she completed "three years" of something "in three days." I politely ask how this is possible, because I feel she may have dementia. She explains how her personal business fell apart due to internal conflict. Dream (mercifully) ends.

8:58 AM: At a lake with a high school friend. He sees me and asks me to come over. I do. He then ignores me to talk to someone else (rather typical of him, I'm afraid). He sees an overweight girl walk past. Apparently she looks at him, because he says to the other guy, "Do you see this girl looking at me?" They then make fun of her. The other guy says, "Tell her to go inside, turn on the AC, and press the button that says 'food.'" They laugh then. I am disgusted, because they chose to make fun of her because maybe she found my friend attractive for a moment. I wonder why I am sitting her being ignored and then it hits me: Oh yes. This is a dream. I nose pinch to RC. I am about to set off to take care of my tasks, but I cannot pass up this opportunity.

I truly look at my friend for the first time, and his eyes bug out and seems a bit cartoony. I look away and he stabilizes into himself. He tells me we are going somewhere else now. While he is talking, I am listening, and start to lose lucidity. I mentally repeat, "This is a dream" to stabilize. Lucidity returns. I tell him I'm not going. He asks why not. I say, "Because you're supposed to be my friend, but being around you is neither friendly nor fun." I then walk away. He tries to follow me, but I start running (quite elated actually) and jump high over a 9ft fence or so and easily land on the other side. Escaped!

I then set to the tasks. I attempt the basic flying task. I leap into the air, high again, and yank branches down off of a pine tree. I swim my arms a bit, but don't see any real flying. For some reason, in dream, I become convinced that I have satisfied the basic flying task, but C/R when I wake up. Oh well.

I then attempt advanced flying. I peer up at the sky. It is very far away, blue, with white clouds. It seems impossible. I tell myself, "This is just your mind. You can fly right up into those clouds." I remember StephL saying that advanced flying seemed kind of scary, and I empathize with that thought. I jump into the air, staring straight up, and fall right back down. I try a couple more times. Nope. I decide to do the basic dream control task and set off.

I run down to my school building where I went to school as a child, and see a bolt in the wall (at this point I attempt advanced flying again, but still no success). I begin to shape the bolt with my hands, expanding it, and willing it to change into something else. It transforms into a combination lock. The lock looks more like a paperweight than a real lock, but it certainly is no longer a bolt. I am satisfied. I turn to find something else to mess around with and the dream ends.

So I tallied my points and it's actually 18.5:

2 NLD: 2
1 frag: 1/2
1 lucid: 5

RC/Stabilize: 1
Interact w/ DC: 2
Basic Object changing: 4

WBTB: 2
WILD: 1

If anyone has any advice on flying and advanced flying, I would love to learn. It's one of the things I want to do more than anything, and one of the things I have been least successful at in the past. Sometimes I am OK at basic flying, but most often it has been challenging. I am much more adept at manipulating the environment.

This was completed for Dreamer's DV Challenge!

Finding Fris
I am trying to lead meditation for my mom and sister. My mom criticizes me for laying out the cushions incorrectly. I have already had to interrupt my own meditation to help them, so I am not pleased. My sister is taking a very long time to get here! I finally say f*** this and get into my car and drive off.

I am driving through my hometown, and suddenly appear in the city where I live. I am driving through a college campus. I know I need to get to work soon, but realize I did not tell my wife where I was going. I reach for the phone to call her, but realize I have my old phone from college, and that I will not be able to contact her on this. I also realize I've brought my cat along by mistake, and that when I open the car door she will probably get out, and not be able to defend herself. I am starting to get stressed out by current events!

I find myself now walking in a mall that also happens to be a college campus, and it occurs to me that I might be dreaming. I do a nose pinch and can breathe. Lucid. I pause for a moment to just breathe and look around. Everything becomes strikingly vivid. I try to remember my tasks. At first, nothing comes, but then . . . Find Fris! I set off. I am very happy to have remembered the goal! I try to call Fris on my old phone, but this does not work. The phone only has one large green button in the center, and when I press this, I hear a voice come out, but for whatever reason (can't remember now) I am not satisfied with what I hear. I think I toss the phone away.

I begin running around calling out, "Where's Fris? Where's Fris?" A DC stops me and says he's found him. He points to a storefront ad for cigarettes. The add has a silhouette of a cartoon character on the front. I tell the DC that this is not good enough and continue my search. Different DCs stop me, either with rumors or reports, or just false information. As I am making my way down the thoroughfare, I notice an extremely beautiful DC -- maybe the most beautiful woman I've ever seen -- walking past me. I almost lost the objective and run after her, but then wrench my eyes away and continue on. Other male DCs were looking at her as well!

A friend from WL finally stops me as I am ascending some stairs and points me in another direction. "I just saw Fris over there, but watch out, because there is a crowd." I'm like, "Wtf, a crowd?" I run over to this spot and have to shove some DCs out of the way to get to the inner circle. Fris is sitting on a brick bench. He is a rapper, and all of the people are his fans. I ask him if he is really Fris, and he says, "Yeah, yeah." I wonder if I have to do anything else to meet the task. I ask Fris for his autograph (I mean, he is a famous rapper, right?). Fris agrees and is signing my paper when he sees my ring. He asks me if I am a mason. I say yes, I am. We talk about Freemasonry! Fris has all of these interesting skull rings on. He then asks me if he can hold my ring. I say certainly. He tries to work the ring off of my finger, but he is going so slowly. "Just pull it off," I say, "You're being too gentle." He finally gets it off and is examining it. By this time the crowd has dispersed (they walk away as we are talking). He takes out a lock-smithing tool kit and begins fiddling with my ring. I realize that he is trying to resize the ring to his own finger! I get kind of pissed about this, but then remember I am dreaming and that he can't do anything to my ring. I just shrug and watch. He is very meticulous. I then contemplate whether or not I've removed my ring in WL, and seem to feel my WL hand holding my ring. At this point the dream destabilizes and I wake up.