ZAD's DJ

Aug 21 2018

I went to sleep around 11:45 or 12. As I was falling asleep, I performed the Progressive Relaxation technique mentioned in LaBerge's ETWOLD. During the relaxation, I continuously repeated to myself that whenever I saw either of my parents or my fiance, I would do an RC and question whether I was dreaming or not (one of them almost always show up at some point).* I enforced this by looking over at my fiance and doing reality checks. (I've always been aware that they are dream signs but this is the first time I've tried to use them to trigger RCs).

I eventually dozed off and had a few NLs that I can't remember now. I should have written them down when I woke up at 4:15 as I could still remember fragments then, but I was in shock when I awoke. My entire body was numb! I've never actually experienced waking up into SP and/or REM Atonia, only trying to induce it on myself, which never really worked.

It was amazing! I was completely calm and relaxed. Even as my dog was rearranging himself next to me and putting his paws in my side, it didn't phase me or make me any more awake. It was a state of disconnection with my body, all except gentle, almost imperceptible vibrations.

I've been reading up about visualization and imagining all 5 senses after reading arby's VILD and visualization posts. During the day yesterday, I was practicing moving my "dream arm" while my real arm remained still, and also noting how my entire body felt while walking, standing, leaning on something, sitting, etc. So naturally when I found myself in this state I did the same. The sensations were remarkably accurate! I could visualize myself standing in another room and feel all the sensations of my body being there. This alone was amazing.

I also tried to use this state and convert it into a WILD** or SSILD-then-fall-asleep, but oddly I couldn't get "relaxed enough" to fall back asleep -- my breathing was very shallow and I had to strain to take deep breaths, which pulled me out of the state momentarily (although I returned quickly each time). So I sat in this state for probably an hour or two and just enjoyed it. Eventually I fell asleep into an FA that I couldn't catch and convert (those pesky buggers!) and another NL that I do remember.

The strange thing about my NL was that it was as if my brain was actively fighting me -- now that I had identified my parents and fiance as dream signs and was using them for MILD and RCs, it removed them from all my dreams and placed in people from work that never pop up in my dreams! Strange.

Overall a weird but positive experience!

*Does this count as MILD? I'm trying to figure out how exactly to differentiate MILD from other similar techniques and it seems kind of vague. Is it just setting your intentions and/or having a mantra as you go to sleep?

**edit: Looking back in my DJ, I actually did almost WILD two or three times but got pulled back each time, back into the state. I think it helped me to identify what the feeling is like though, as it was closer than I've ever been before!