Thread: I'm Having Serious Difficulties In Controlling and Stabilizing My Dreams

How long do you stare intently at your hands?

Originally Posted by Jacob46719

How long do you stare intently at your hands?

That's the problem actually, I try to, and for some reason I can't. I become lucid and know I'm dreaming but I can't seem to look at my hands intently enough before it blacks out. I know I'm dreaming but I'm not lucid enough I think.

Hey there,

For myself, I've found one of the mistakes I've often made when grounding my dream is to focus 'on grounding/stabilizing the dream', rather then 'on the dream itself'.

The division seems small, but is actually a world of difference. I've noticed a tendency in my dreams for attention/expectation to shape the dream itself. What I give attention to becomes more prominent in the dream. What I expect to happen, often will happen. Therefore, focusing on 'not having the dream black out' or 'preventing the dream from ending' is actually the wrong way to go, as it puts the attention on the 'blacking out/ending' part. Instead, I've found that if I just relax, take a moment to try and take in the dream scene around me and wonder about the sights, the sounds, the feel of things, the dream will quickly stabilize and I can go explore.

Hoping that helps (and that my description is actually clear enough),

-Redrivertears-

Originally Posted by Redrivertears

Hey there,

For myself, I've found one of the mistakes I've often made when grounding my dream is to focus 'on grounding/stabilizing the dream', rather then 'on the dream itself'.

The division seems small, but is actually a world of difference. I've noticed a tendency in my dreams for attention/expectation to shape the dream itself. What I give attention to becomes more prominent in the dream. What I expect to happen, often will happen. Therefore, focusing on 'not having the dream black out' or 'preventing the dream from ending' is actually the wrong way to go, as it puts the attention on the 'blacking out/ending' part. Instead, I've found that if I just relax, take a moment to try and take in the dream scene around me and wonder about the sights, the sounds, the feel of things, the dream will quickly stabilize and I can go explore.

Hoping that helps (and that my description is actually clear enough),

-Redrivertears-

Thank you, I will definitely try this when I become lucid in a dream again. I think that definitely could be the problem and I didn't realize that I feel rushed to make it stable as soon as possible.

How would one get into a dream world though if they black out, and keep their eyes closed?

Originally Posted by Mostlythinking

How would one get into a dream world though if they black out, and keep their eyes closed?

You mean you have eyelids?

Originally Posted by Jacob46719

You mean you have eyelids?

Sorry, I meant if I blacked out how do I get back into a dream?

You can try a few things.

>Daydream a new scene
>Grab something and immerse into the scene from there
>Gently open your eyes, but not wide(you might open your real eyes of you use too much muscle)
>Remember that you can see through your eyelids if you want.
>What eyes? You're dreaming, you don't have eyes...

Agree with the above, let me re-state in my own terms.

It is good to have a goal for each lucid session. The goal is something you want to do in the dream, chosen beforehand in waking. A task. A scene you want to visit. A character you want to summon. Etc. So before or during the stabilization routine, remember to recall the goal. Then realize that the stabilization is a means to an end, not an end in itself. Stabilization supports the goal. Thus, stabilizing shouldn't become a too-engrossing activity. You do it once but your focus remains on the goal and that keeps the dream open-ended and progressing forward rather than stalling and fading.

Now, what if the dream fades to black? The key is to remain calm and take it in stride. Knowing that it can and will happen occasionally should dispell any frustration that arises. It might lead to a scene change, or a false awakening, or a real awakening. In all cases, just remain calm and patient. Turn your focus back to a goal so that your intentions re-align. You can re-enter a scene by imagining it strongly. Re-entering the same scene might be seem easier because of continuity, but is not required. This is DEILD-chaining, so you can search that to find more.

Originally Posted by Mostlythinking

Thank you, I will definitely try this when I become lucid in a dream again. I think that definitely could be the problem and I didn't realize that I feel rushed to make it stable as soon as possible.

How would one get into a dream world though if they black out, and keep their eyes closed?

I can only concur with what others have already said. Re-imagining the scene and focusing on whatever sensations, hypnagogic images, or sounds, you do find can get the dream going again. There's been quite a few times when woke up so much I all but felt myself in bed, but refused to give up the dream, even though it was hanging by a thread. A single image, sound, or feeling of touch can be enough to respark the dream, if you can focus on it.

-Redrivertears-

Thanks all for your help, I really appreciate it and will use these tips!

Originally Posted by Redrivertears

Hey there,

For myself, I've found one of the mistakes I've often made when grounding my dream is to focus 'on grounding/stabilizing the dream', rather then 'on the dream itself'.

The division seems small, but is actually a world of difference. I've noticed a tendency in my dreams for attention/expectation to shape the dream itself. What I give attention to becomes more prominent in the dream. What I expect to happen, often will happen. Therefore, focusing on 'not having the dream black out' or 'preventing the dream from ending' is actually the wrong way to go, as it puts the attention on the 'blacking out/ending' part. Instead, I've found that if I just relax, take a moment to try and take in the dream scene around me and wonder about the sights, the sounds, the feel of things, the dream will quickly stabilize and I can go explore.

Hoping that helps (and that my description is actually clear enough),

-Redrivertears-

Can't agree strongly enough with this. This matches my experience. It's sort of "sneaky stabilization" . Also agree about goals, my best, longest, most stable LDs had lots of active goals, and also I just enjoyed the dream instead of worrying about "Oh I should stabilize first." Being engaged and relaxed and enjoying the dream *is* stabilization, basically!

Anecdotally, I recently lost an LD that seemed otherwise stable already when I stopped to stabilize and instantly lost the dream.

So I think it's better to respond to "problems" (cloudy vision, darkness, etc.) as they actually arise, and not to anticipate them, and not to anticipate dream instability.

Hey, don't think I have seen you around! I honestly think of stabilization as a form of dream control, in love the things stated in this thread so far and would recommend trying these out. I don't have much to add (except holy crap I love that quote by RRTears) but if you need any more help with dream control, come check our the dream control and stabilization class. A class dedicated to helping you achieve your in dream goals. (link in sign)

Some of my favorite ways of stabilization is like some of my favorite dream controls.

Universe control is a control that you use the rules of the universe to effect how the universe effects you... so let's say that you realize that you are dreaming, and worry about waking up then throw this thought through your mind "everyone else here is dreaming and not waking, so it must be a 'safe zone'." All of the sudden it makes more sense to he stable rather than unstable.

Item control is a form of universe control that uses items for a catalyst for dream control. I have a watch and a few other things to keep me stable. I am dreaming. Click a button, I am stable. Grab a lamp, this is a stable lamp that stops a dreamer from waking. If you are able to ignore anything that denies this reality, then that is fine, if not we have:

Blame control. A form of item control that puts the blame on other things. Instead of grabbing the lamp because you are unstable, you destroy the lamp because it is making you unstable. If that refuses to work destroy the table or just leave that place. Usually in a dream I have a feeling like "don't do this, it makes you unstable" it reminds me of what my nurse dad used to say to me when I had a problem like "dad, it hurts when I do this." Ill never forget this what he said to me. He would look at my arm all seriously and say "then don't do that."

There are all sorts of other types of controls and these are far down on the list of categories, while some seem to fall under "schema" and others lean towards "expectations" the best way to do dream control is neither of those, it is creativity and persistence. The pill I was looking for isn't in this pocket, it must be in the other one... nope. Maybe in the cabinet? Maybe I already took it... yeah i just need to hit this button for the effects to start. What you do for dream control is up to you. I like taking elaborate directions for something simple, because "when you can have anything you want with the snap of your fingers, the journey is the reward."

" For myself, I've found one of the mistakes I've often made when grounding my dream is to focus 'on grounding/stabilizing the dream', rather then 'on the dream itself'. "
"What I expect to happen, often will happen. Therefore, focusing on 'not having the dream black out' or 'preventing the dream from ending' is actually the wrong way to go, as it puts the attention on the 'blacking out/ending' part"

Yes this X1000! It's important to go through the doors, and see what's outside. To me another important step is passive control. What I mean is don't think that every aspect of your lucid needs to be controlled and created by you at all times (tho it is possible). Remember you are creating every aspect subconsciously anyway, so no need to put the burden on your conscious awareness. Letting a dream flow naturally without much control, while staying lucid allows your true inner self to speak, and the visions can be amazing.


"Gently open your eyes"

When a dream fades I also agree that "opining your eyes" is the best. It's also another example of passive control. If you stay in the darkness and try to imagine the whole scene itself it's much more work and processing than just opining your eye's. Opining your eyes is easy but it will more than likely make you "wake" (not for real) in your bed. An easy way to tell, and it's Usually 100% for me now, is how is the lighting? Opening your eyes from darkness in dreams tends to give an almost hdr type of surreal ultra bright, with colorers of ultra almost too real detail. When you see this hdr effect, you know it worked. (If you think about the previous dream while opening your eyes it can lead to the previous dream, but it's best to just open the eyes with as little thinking as possible)

I also agree grounding/stabilizing the dream is a loop of doom (I spent years killing my dreams this way), your whole dream will loop with the idea that it's unstable and ending. I learned over the years to just go with the tide, all dreams come to an end it's inevitable, it's more important to me to be amazed at what your dream shows you. Thing's like being amazed at how surreal a dreams plot is, or how real the dream's world seems are things that really ground/stabilize.

I've never cared about looking at my hands in my dreams, but I do care about stabilizing them. Another thing you can do is focus on your primary senses: pay close attention to what you see, and then when things have become more vivid, pay close attention what you hear, and then so on and so forth. This has always helped me, in both lucid dreaming and visualization.