Thread: Sara's journey to lucidity

Now that I'm ill and sleeping A LOT! I also have a lot of dreams.
I won't write them all down, but I just woke up from a dream about my grandma, which was quite emotional and therefore worth remembering...

Demented grandma:

My sister and me are at home, or actually, in our little house back in the garden we used to play in when we were kids. My grandma is already taken to our house by my father. She is in a bad (mental) condition. An ambulance stops at my parents house, but no-one reacts to that. The ambulance drives to our little house and waits till I come out. The doctors tell me they want to 'load up' grandma (sorry for that word) and they need help. I promise to get back to the house (via the garden) while they get back via the road. On the way back, I stop at the chicken shed, just to look. I see there are 2 babies born! I didn't know this was going to happen, but our chickens had a surprise nest before, so I'm not that surprised. I decide to take 1 chick inside, cause that would be sweet to show my grandma.

Once inside the house, the doctors have already put my grandma in a wheelchair. They talk about how hard it was to convince her, but once they started to talk about my father, she came up with a whole story about my father almost going bankrupt, loosing his job and all that shit

A cell phone rings, it's an unknown family member who starts to argue with my grandma... (I suppose IRL this could be my aunt, after some trouble we don't speak to her anymore, neither does my grandma)

Well, they finally manage to put the wheelchair in the back of the ambulance and suddenly my whole family is inside that ambulance.

I felt really responsible for my grandma, when the ambulance came to pick her up, but I wasn't capable to really help. I felt guilty towards her, that they were going to put her in a house for elderly people. I wanted to show her the happiness of life (hence the little chick) and be nice to her, but what I did, didn't work out
I was disappointed and a bit angry about my family. My father was in the house, but didn't help them. My mother was nowhere to help, but when the ambulance left, she was there... and my sister didn't follow me back to the house, as if she wasn't interested in what was happening to our grandma.

I think I'll visit my grandma tomorrow, I haven't seen her in a long time. IRL my dad is taking good care of her, so I think there must be some symbolic reasoning behind this whole situation... (Bu?? I try to summon you here once again )

Originally Posted by Sara

Now that I'm ill and sleeping A LOT! I also have a lot of dreams.

Hope you get better, but at least you seem to have found a silver lining there. Sweet of you to think of grandmother.

Congratulations on getting your first wings! That's really cool! And you got to practice a little bit of flying too.

Originally Posted by Sara

Demented grandma:

My sister and me are at home, or actually, in our little house back in the garden we used to play in when we were kids. My grandma is already taken to our house by my father. She is in a bad (mental) condition. An ambulance stops at my parents house, but no-one reacts to that. The ambulance drives to our little house and waits till I come out. The doctors tell me they want to 'load up' grandma (sorry for that word) and they need help. I promise to get back to the house (via the garden) while they get back via the road. On the way back, I stop at the chicken shed, just to look. I see there are 2 babies born! I didn't know this was going to happen, but our chickens had a surprise nest before, so I'm not that surprised. I decide to take 1 chick inside, cause that would be sweet to show my grandma.

Once inside the house, the doctors have already put my grandma in a wheelchair. They talk about how hard it was to convince her, but once they started to talk about my father, she came up with a whole story about my father almost going bankrupt, loosing his job and all that shit

A cell phone rings, it's an unknown family member who starts to argue with my grandma... (I suppose IRL this could be my aunt, after some trouble we don't speak to her anymore, neither does my grandma)

Well, they finally manage to put the wheelchair in the back of the ambulance and suddenly my whole family is inside that ambulance.

I felt really responsible for my grandma, when the ambulance came to pick her up, but I wasn't capable to really help. I felt guilty towards her, that they were going to put her in a house for elderly people. I wanted to show her the happiness of life (hence the little chick) and be nice to her, but what I did, didn't work out
I was disappointed and a bit angry about my family. My father was in the house, but didn't help them. My mother was nowhere to help, but when the ambulance left, she was there... and my sister didn't follow me back to the house, as if she wasn't interested in what was happening to our grandma.

I think I'll visit my grandma tomorrow, I haven't seen her in a long time. IRL my dad is taking good care of her, so I think there must be some symbolic reasoning behind this whole situation... (Bu?? I try to summon you here once again )

That dream is touching..honestly. The little chick seems quite symbolic. I've had some unpleasent dreams of things happening to family members and no one really caring...with no morals, but not quite like that...I'm very close with grandma (now 96)..and it's hard to think that a good head on those shoulders will just...stop functioning properly and that even other family might toss them into an old-age home... :/ That must have been a painful dream for you :/

Good idea though to go visit her..it's amazing how dreams can motivate you in one way or another.

Now that I think of it..I haven't been in here either :p..I see there's plenty of dreams to go around hehe. Congratulations on accomplishing the Task of the month...I'm dreadfully envious :p

Originally Posted by bro

That dream is touching..honestly.

Good idea though to go visit her..it's amazing how dreams can motivate you in one way or another.

Ahhh, thanks bro
I'll really visit her, but when I have recovered (don't want to infect her with the flu )

Now that I think of it..I haven't been in here either :p..I see there's plenty of dreams to go around hehe. Congratulations on accomplishing the Task of the month...I'm dreadfully envious :p

Thanks again, I'm still happy about the task. I've read in your DJ a few times, but it's A LOT so I didn't quite get to the current date...

Pff, I've been sleeping for hours this afternoon. And been dreaming all the time too.

Too bad I didn't get lucid and all the dreams were really boring! More boring than staying awake
So, you can skip reading this, it's just a reminder for myself not to continue sleeping when the dream is going nowhere

I've been shopping for the cheapest towels in an overcrowded warehouse with all those annoying house wives and other women me
I was working on my thesis work, which was very lame I wasn't able to meet a guy I wanted to see. When it was time to go home (17:15h) I was called by a teacher who made me replace a TL-light, but she didn't have the right spare parts to get it fixed. I had to wait with her for TWO HOURS and then it still wasn't fixed, so I got really annoyed and angry with her
In the meanwhile, I was watching a show on DVD (but I watched it like it was there live on stage) and after 10 minutes, the people went arguing with each other and ruined the show.
Finally, I decided to just leave the building, but first I had to finish a task for myself (making a halter for the horses) It was impossible, cause the rope was to soft and flimsy (?) and got all tangled up.

And now it's late in the afternoon, I'm still ill (feeling as weak as a towel) but don't want to go back asleep and have more boring dreams

Hope you get better soon. Enjoy visiting your grandma.

Hehe...I'm sure soon enough you'll get back some intriguing, fun dreams...just a matter of time....Yeah..it's a bit frustrating when dreams get mundane..I've had times where that's all i've had for the longest time..and it's refreshing to get some nice long ones back :p.

Originally Posted by Sara

Pff, I've been sleeping for hours this afternoon. And been dreaming all the time too.

Too bad I didn't get lucid and all the dreams were really boring! More boring than staying awake
So, you can skip reading this, it's just a reminder for myself not to continue sleeping when the dream is going nowhere

I've been shopping for the cheapest towels in an overcrowded warehouse with all those annoying house wives and other women me
I was working on my thesis work, which was very lame I wasn't able to meet a guy I wanted to see. When it was time to go home (17:15h) I was called by a teacher who made me replace a TL-light, but she didn't have the right spare parts to get it fixed. I had to wait with her for TWO HOURS and then it still wasn't fixed, so I got really annoyed and angry with her
In the meanwhile, I was watching a show on DVD (but I watched it like it was there live on stage) and after 10 minutes, the people went arguing with each other and ruined the show.
Finally, I decided to just leave the building, but first I had to finish a task for myself (making a halter for the horses) It was impossible, cause the rope was to soft and flimsy (?) and got all tangled up.

And now it's late in the afternoon, I'm still ill (feeling as weak as a towel) but don't want to go back asleep and have more boring dreams

10/10 for all those smilies.

Like burned up said nice usage of the smilies ha ha love it

and I do believe that this

Originally Posted by Sara

(feeling as weak as a towel)

is the funniest thing I have read/seen/heard all day lol what a great saying

Originally Posted by Burned up

10/10 for all those smilies.

Originally Posted by mark

Like burned up said nice usage of the smilies ha ha love it

Yeah, haha, I was so bored by my dreams, I had to do something to make them a bit funnier. Thanks Bu & Mark, I'm glad you liked them (cost me more time than writing the dream...)

Originally Posted by mark

and I do believe that this

Originally Posted by Sara

(feeling as weak as a towel)

is the funniest thing I have read/seen/heard all day lol what a great saying

Hahaha, that is actually a literally translated common Dutch saying. I'll use more of these literal translations, if that makes you laugh

Oh, I've seen BEOWULF in 3D yesterday and it was AWESOME!
It's not the kind of movie I normally go to, but this 3D effects made it a wonderful experience, almost as real as in a dream
And it had some good scenes I would like to experience in my dream (let me be the gold-covered mother demon, hahaha)

I've had another long night of boring dreams, but I'm out of smiley-inspiration

Originally Posted by Sara

Hahaha, that is actually a literally translated common Dutch saying. I'll use more of these literal translations, if that makes you laugh

Oh, I've seen BEOWULF in 3D yesterday and it was AWESOME!
It's not the kind of movie I normally go to, but this 3D effects made it a wonderful experience, almost as real as in a dream
And it had some good scenes I would like to experience in my dream (let me be the gold-covered mother demon, hahaha)

I've had another long night of boring dreams, but I'm out of smiley-inspiration

well keep the dutch phrases coming lol I liked it

you have seen the 3D version! thats great! I have only seen the normal one

ah dam it must have been a great experience

Originally Posted by Sara

Yeah, haha, I was so bored by my dreams, I had to do something to make them a bit funnier. Thanks Bu & Mark, I'm glad you liked them (cost me more time than writing the dream...)

I thought you were describing your real day there for a minute! But the smilies were a nice touch.

Originally Posted by Sara

Hahaha, that is actually a literally translated common Dutch saying. I'll use more of these literal translations, if that makes you laugh

I like them too!

Hey That New 3D is awsome isn't it! I'm glad somebody else knows lol.
I've tried to tell people about it, but I don't think they can understand until they see it.

Did you see the 3D preview for journey to the center of the earth?
The first live action movie in Real D. I can't wait to see that next summer.

And yeah, those lOl smiles were very creative!

Originally Posted by Moonbeam

I thought you were describing your real day there for a minute! But the smilies were a nice touch.

Hehe, it could have been

It reminded me of something I heard or read earlier, that it's bad enough you spend your day at a boring job, but at least you get paid, while when dreaming about work,they take your time for free.

Originally Posted by Caradon

Hey That New 3D is awsome isn't it! I'm glad somebody else knows lol.
I've tried to tell people about it, but I don't think they can understand until they see it.

It's the first full-colour 3D movie I've ever seen (before I saw some red-green 3D effects in a movie) and I wished ALL movies were made this way!

I'm glad there weren't any other good films, because Beowulf was really 'the best of the worst that was available' and if it hadn't been for the comments about the cool 3D I read on DV, I probably would have chosen an other film.

I didn't see that preview you mention, but if there is another 3D movie, I'm surely going to see it!

Yesterday I've made myself a list of LD tasks.
One of my tasks (I've had in my mind for a few weeks) is to try as many RC's as I can think of. I also wrote down the basic task of december.

I'm back on my Everyman schedule. Started off with a 4,5hr core (3 sleep cycles) for easier adjustment and was tired enough to try some WILD.

I started on my back with a thick pillow (to reduce blood flow to my head and therefore hoping to get less noise). I was hovering at the border of SP, but couldn't really get it. There were some enjoyable HI-scenes (mostly Beowulf related, COOL! and one scene with me and 2 DV members sitting around a camp fire, discussing our next LD task...)
After what I thought was half an hour, I checked the time (only 10 mins past) decided SP was not going to happen this night and turned to my side. Within a minute, I got the most beautiful, psychedelic HI I've ever seen. Fireworks, beautiful colours, all happy feelings... and then I passed out and slept


How I got lucid, I'm not really sure, but I do remember writing it down. I was sitting on the dining table at my parents house. My mother was doing household activities and my sister was also present, but I was not talking to them. I was very aware of the dreaming state, but everything around me was so normal. No weird things to make me laugh, normal gravity, good clarity of vision.

The first thing I thought of, was that it was very important to remember how I got lucid, so I wrote that on a paper (but now I've forgotten what it was ). I got up, walked a bit around in the room to further ground my lucidity. I even looked down at my feet, I was not wearing shoes and could feel the floor being hard and a bit cold, exactly the way it does IRL.
Then I remembered my LD tasks: do reality checks!

So I started with: plug my nose and breath... I never do this one IRL, because I was afraid I'm not able to breath in my dream and then panic. I could breath, but it took some effort and was really not as amazing as some people describe.
Then I put my finger through my hand. While pushing, first I made my palm stretch a little and then my finger went through. OK, 'check', that worked...
Next: Elastic limbs, I pulled on my arm and made it stretch. I didn't feel anything, my arm just stretched and was a bit floppy, so that one worked to.
Notice my total lack of humor about these tasks In any other dream I would have laughed my ass off when I could stretch my arm twice as long, but now I was all scientific and just thinking 'OK, that RC works'
The last one I tried was the watch (this is my favo RC IRL) but I only had an analog watch. It was very big, almost as big as my hand. The arms of the clock were running around like crazy, so I concluded that was also a good RC. Then I turned the watch round my wrist, a smaller, also analog watch appeared. At this one, I could read the time (around half past 2) and I could hear a clock ticking, realising that the time was going as fast as IRL. (this was the ticking from the clock next to my bed!!) My conclusion: this RC only works on very big watches

With the RC's done, I had time to write some other 'scientific' findings in my dream. My dad had 2 big noteblocks on the table and a few pencils. I remembered something from the non-lucid I had before, that COLOURS were important. I wrote down that 'green stands for something fading away' and 'black stands for something that ends'. Well, I guess that was about my dream being allmost over In the last seconds the task for next month popped into my head and while waking up, I thought 'NOOO, I should have asked my mother for my name!' But alas, dream's over

Time: about 10 minutes (didn't check my dream watch again, haha)

Conclusion: don't write about boring dreams, cause that will induce more boring dreams
Now that the RC-check tasks have been completed, I can focus on the next task of the month and more fun provoking tasks.

@Mark & Raklet: ok, i'll take it back, maybe I do have some natural ability for lucid dreaming AND remembering my tasks... With 10 DILDs in less than a month, I must have been something right...

nice! very well thought out

That nose RC, for me personally is incredible because I only do it when I dont know im dreaming and it shocks and thrills me so much.

I have always wondered about analogue clocks but I guess you answered my question....so thank you

That HI with the fireworks sounds brilliant! your so good at the WILD process, I hardly ever get to HI lol

Great job! I enjoyed the "scientific" approach to your dream. You may not have found it funny, but I was laughing.

Yeah, all those redundant tests made me giggle...it's amazing that you were so grounded you had the time and ability to perform all of them...I've only ever done one...I find, like you, that the nose RC is not so amazing, but it does really require effort to use...when it works though it is is a thrill..hehe. Those are a true oneironaut's actions...going into that world and performing tests and all...without laughing your ass off..I probably would have, or at least have gotten sidetracked...

Well done

That was great! you really must have natural ability, to be doing so well so quickly!

Owww, 2 days without any recall and visiting friends too, so I haven't been online too much the past few days

Time to make it up.

No lucid, but I was very close last night.
Couldn't keep my everyman sleeping schedule (it was SO cold in my room and walking around in my friend's house at 3 am is a bit strange ) so I fell asleep lying under my blanket while watching 'waking life'.

Dead man in the car

I was sleeping at my friends place (IRL too, but in a totally different house)
We were discussing about what happens when you die (she believes, I'm an atheist). She told about things in the bible and there were many similarities with lucid dreaming.
She speaks about 'Mr. Wilder' who made a movie about dying(?) and tells what the movie is about. "Hey, that is the same movie I was just watching on my laptop about LDing!"
discussie over 'wat na je dood?' en overeenkomstn bijbel / lucide dromen
she mentions 'Mr. Wilder' who made a movie and I reply 'that's the movie I have on my laptop!' (waking life). The conversation goes more and more towards lucid dreaming and then she says she will show me someone who is lucid dreaming, but doesn't know he is...

We leave the room and enter a large hall/workshop with all kind of machinery. Her car is parked in the middle. Inside is a dead man, sealed in plastic
She says not to worry about him, cause he is just the subject of the guy that was lucid dreaming. We only have to wait till he realises it's a dream and then the dead body will be gone. I really don't get the clue, how can we be inside this persons dream and how long will it take before he realises he is dreaming...

In the meanwhile, we hang the body on 2 ropes, so we can transport it using the transportation rails in the hall.

On awakening, I was really for not recognising it was MY dream and ME who needed to realise it was a dream

From earlier dreams that night:

fragment:
I was playing with my MDA, but the slide part could slide both ways and didn't have a 'click' when in the correct position. It felt weird, I noticed something was wrong with it, but no 'click' in my mind

feeling:
beautiful weather
sweet brown shiny horse
cantering in the forest
I love riding like this!

So, now I've got some journals to read

Wow! I can understand your frustration upon waking...It's amazing the mishmosh of things from RL that get pulled into our dreams.. the movies you were watching in your case. Hehe, and then the lovely dream logic that makes us all kick ourselves. (dead man in platic..that is a bit scary).. "We only need to wait till he realizes he's dreaming and the body will be gone" hahah, I love that..I'm sure next time you'll be able to get the clue, grab it, and get lucid.

Hope you had fun visiting your friend..I wish you some lucid dreams tonight

Originally Posted by Sara

Owww, 2 days without any recall and visiting friends too, so I haven't been online too much the past few days

Time to make it up.

No lucid, but I was very close last night.
Couldn't keep my everyman sleeping schedule (it was SO cold in my room and walking around in my friend's house at 3 am is a bit strange ) so I fell asleep lying under my blanket while watching 'waking life'.

Dead man in the car

I was sleeping at my friends place (IRL too, but in a totally different house)
We were discussing about what happens when you die (she believes, I'm an atheist). She told about things in the bible and there were many similarities with lucid dreaming.

The whole book of Revelation is a pretty damn good dream.

Originally Posted by Sara

She speaks about 'Mr. Wilder' who made a movie about dying(?) and tells what the movie is about. "Hey, that is the same movie I was just watching on my laptop about LDing!"
discussie over 'wat na je dood?' en overeenkomstn bijbel / lucide dromen
she mentions 'Mr. Wilder' who made a movie and I reply 'that's the movie I have on my laptop!' (waking life). The conversation goes more and more towards lucid dreaming and then she says she will show me someone who is lucid dreaming, but doesn't know he is...

We leave the room and enter a large hall/workshop with all kind of machinery. Her car is parked in the middle. Inside is a dead man, sealed in plastic
She says not to worry about him, cause he is just the subject of the guy that was lucid dreaming. We only have to wait till he realises it's a dream and then the dead body will be gone. I really don't get the clue, how can we be inside this persons dream and how long will it take before he realises he is dreaming...

In the meanwhile, we hang the body on 2 ropes, so we can transport it using the transportation rails in the hall.

On awakening, I was really for not recognising it was MY dream and ME who needed to realise it was a dream

The being-in-a-dream thing does my head in.

Originally Posted by Sara

From earlier dreams that night:

fragment:
I was playing with my MDA, but the slide part could slide both ways and didn't have a 'click' when in the correct position. It felt weird, I noticed something was wrong with it, but no 'click' in my mind

feeling:
beautiful weather
sweet brown shiny horse
cantering in the forest
I love riding like this!

So, now I've got some journals to read

I've never sat on a horse. A donkey, yes. A camel, yes. But never a horse.

Oops, I completely overlooked the comments on my 'scientific RC dream'.

Originally Posted by mark

nice! very well thought out

That nose RC, for me personally is incredible because I only do it when I dont know im dreaming and it shocks and thrills me so much.

Ah, so that's why it can be incredible. I understand now

That HI with the fireworks sounds brilliant! your so good at the WILD process, I hardly ever get to HI lol

Maybe you can 'induce' some HI?
I hardly ever get great visual HI as well. A lot of WILD guides tell you not to focus on HI, so I ignored it in the beginning. But now when I "ask" for HI, I get some visuals ('asking' = allow it to happen instead of ignoring or even try to concentrate a bit on it, like 'hoping' to see something)

Originally Posted by raklet

Great job! I enjoyed the "scientific" approach to your dream. You may not have found it funny, but I was laughing.

Originally Posted by bro

Yeah, all those redundant tests made me giggle...it's amazing that you were so grounded you had the time and ability to perform all of them...I've only ever done one...I find, like you, that the nose RC is not so amazing, but it does really require effort to use...when it works though it is is a thrill..hehe. Those are a true oneironaut's actions...going into that world and performing tests and all...without laughing your ass off..I probably would have, or at least have gotten sidetracked...

Well done

Thanks Bro and Raklet, now when I read it back and think about all the RCs, it was indeed funny.
I've only done the hand RC in my first lucid and never needed any RCs afterwards. There are so many weird things going on, I just don't need them. But just in case you need them: don't trust an analogue watch, unless it's very big

Originally Posted by Caradon

That was great! you really must have natural ability, to be doing so well so quickly!

Thanks Caradon, that, plus a LOT of effort. 3 days no reading on DV/EWLD and my recall dropped almost to zero