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    Thread: Zhaylin's Dreamlog

    1. #26
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      I remember more about the baby girl now. She was in the car with me and she was older- maybe 1 or 2 years old. She was strapped in a carseat unusually situated on a console between the front seats of a my minivan (but the vehicle in the dream was a car). The child was delighted, but when the vehicle was out of control I was very relieved she was safely strapped in.

      Now for the interpretations. I'll skip the first one for last.

      Before falling asleep my hubby and I spoke of our exes. He also had an auction for some more art glass that he was checking up on. His ex had been a thief who stole a lot of things from him, which is why thievery was a concern in the dream. Much of my hubby's art glass is worth well over $5,000 each but $5,000 will remain a recurring theme until I give hubby my receipts from my shopping spree.
      The car may have been most significant because it was out of control and couldn't drive in reverse which may indicate the chaos nature of my past and the impossibility of changing things which have already happened. If such is the case, it signifies my need to move forward and not dwell on the past.
      I don't understand why the midget was there. That indicates "small" to me and I saw him/her as I turned around. The problems of my past aren't "small" though. "Of little concern" then? And what about the baby in the car with me? She was having fun but I was full of concern. How does that fit in?
      I'm not sure yet.

      Having trouble finding our room when we stay at a hotel is a real concern of mine. Silly, because if worse came to worse I could go to the front desk. But it's recurring because it's something that causes me anxiety in life.

      In the dream about being in my parents house was caused by many different things. First, my father represents my hubby. Hubby said those exact words to me yesterday. I was sneaking a smoke because I know I need to quit but can't yet bring myself to do so.
      The filthy house was from 1) my own filthy modular with dog and cat crap on the floor because my kids refused to let the animals outside when we were gone 2) worse because I watched "Nightmare Rental Properties" as a YouTube video yesterday and the filth was worse than even the modular.
      The congregation represents my desire to return to them, but I can't so long as I keep smoking and don't learn to be a better housekeeper.
      My tears... ??? I wasn't aware of them at first so maybe it represents I'm under more distress about returning than I'm aware of (but how could I be under any MORE distress?!) Frank B is a nice man but we've never been close, so I'm not sure what his significance is.
      The way I write talks up and take notes has always been good-naturedly poked fun of. At the meetings, we learn how to speak with people naturally. Detailed notes are discouraged because they take away from a relaxed and natural environment. But my talks are completely scripted- down to word emphasis and emotions lol. I don't trust my memory enough to do it any other way. As for notes, we're encouraged to simply write down key points because if you try to write every word, you're more likely to hear only half of what is being said. Not me though, lol, I write everything down word for word when possible.
      It's not a point of contention or anything, just humor.

      As for the last dream... I often wish I could leave my husband because I cause him more grief than anyone should have to go through. I love him dearly and wish I could spare him from all the drama and chaos that seems to be attracted to my life. But I will never leave him, 1) he would likely kill himself 2) as the money on the floor signified, I could not take care of myself financially.
      Why the man was smaller than me, I'm not sure. Perhaps it indicates that I need to put myself above others, but that doesn't feel true.

      As for the first dream... I'm still baffled. My brain usually knows better than to try to teach me something through mere symbolism because I'm not the sort who usually grasps such. Fish represent freedom for me. Because 2 of them had been on hooks may indicate I feel trapped. But what about two the shrimp in the ones mouth? "Smallness" seems to be a recurring theme of last nights dreams, so I'll have to think some more on that.
      Pets represent unwanted responsibility to me. Perhaps, the hamster in the bag with the fish shows I need to embrace responsibility if I'm ever to find freedom. That feels true. The smaller fish being released into the container with the larger fish could show my reservations. The bloodied fish could be an extension of myself and I'm afraid to be devoured in the ocean of life. But I'm still optimistic that I'll survive. That interpretation feels true.

      And that's all I have for now.
      I feel ill. My food did not agree with me and I think I'll go throw up now *grrr* and *ick*. I HATE getting sick... but who doesn't lol. Hopefully, it will pass if I ignore it.

    2. #27
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      Very, very strange. I took a nap and the dreams were very odd but I can't remember them. I do remember that I was slightly llucid though at one point (WOOT!) And I kept waking up and falling back to sleep.
      At one point, I dreamed I had a horribly sore throat. It was so sore I couldn't swallow or speak in the dream because the pain was so intense. I was humored to find that I had no sore throat when I awoke.
      I had that dream because my hubby complained of having a sore throat yesterday.

      I also had a strangely cycling dream. I would wake up and fall right back into it.
      I was on the top-most level of a parking garage. The baby I've been dreaming about was there but slightly older. She was crying for my, dangling from a rail. Before I heard her cry, I was looking for her and locked the car and an Asian man looked at me with disappointment because he thought I locked the car only because I saw him walking near.
      Anyhow.. I rush to the little girl (maybe 2 years old or 3) but she falls, but not far. Thankfully she was on the sloped entrance.
      When I rushed to get her, I noticed a black man having much difficulty with a bunch of toddlers. One was an adorable black boy who was undoubtedly his. I no longer remember the others. There were 3 or 4 total. My own daughter was fine- not even crying, so I picked up the small boy and he was extremely heavy. I took him to his father. He said thanks and asked me to try and imagine having to deal with all those little ones all day long.
      The next thing I know, he had forced his way into my vehicle. He apologized but said there was no other way to get home.
      He was driving but all of us were in the vehicle. He drove to his house then disappeared from the dream.
      Next thing I recall is standing in the doorway of a home with a dog or child gate. I couldn't at first find the doorbell so I called out. Then my daughter Zee appeared in the dream. She was younger and getting into everything. I thought she was trying to steal, but she was tidying up the woman's home. At one time she found a butterfly hair clip and handed it to the woman. And that's all I recall.

      In another dream, I was at my parents home and I had to use the bathroom desperately but none were available so I peed and crapped in a double insulated box lol.
      Because that seems to be a recurring theme as of late, I think it's telling me either that I hold onto (bottle up or box up) too much crap- physically or emotionally, I know not. I think it's emotional refuse about my past because I seem to be most often in my parents home when I dream this.

      As for the first dream... I think some of it was inspired from watching Grand Torino last night. I don't often dream of people of different races because I don't have any day-to-day contact with anyone whose not white (I live in a very small north eastern community with a predominantly white population, followed by a scattering of Asians, with rarely a black person in sight). The part about the Asian man was likely brought on by the movie and a real anxiety I have about locking my car up when people (anyone) are nearby.
      I don't know what the significance of the falling baby could be. Maybe it symbolizes a fear I have about my children "falling away" from me. But she was okay which may indicate optimism regarding my children, their well-being and their future.
      The man being black, once again was probably brought about by the movie. Why he had so many toddlers, I don't know. Why he forced his way into my car when he could've just asked for a ride, I don't know. Ahhhh, I just recalled. In life, my children's lawyer is a black man. There is no love loss between us, he comes across much too hard than he needs, but I think deep down he's a decent guy. There being at least 4 toddlers in the car likely represents my 4 children and the man driving likely represents the loss of control I feel regarding my case and getting my kids back. That interpretation feels very true.
      As for the gated doorway to the house. I don't know. The butterfly hair clip could represent my scarification tatoo that my hubby saw last night. Thankfully, hours of sex put him in a good mood and it was healed over and all he said was I needed to buy myself a real tattoo and knock off making my own. That interpretation does not feel likely. But I can think of nothing else.
      My daughter Zee being there, again, I don't know.


      I dry heaved earlier (it took everything in me to keep the food down), then I went to sleep to stave off actually vomitting. I feel much better but I'm hungry again I'm thinking about eating a small carrot cake but the sweetness of it isn't something I'm in the mood for. I'd like to eat left over mashed potatoes and cole slaw (I warm up the potatoes then mix the cold slaw in with it lol) but if I'm coming down with a stomach bug, that may not be the best thing to eat lol
      Wel, I shall eat it anyhow. If it makes me ill, then I'll know and I'll just go back to sleep.

    3. #28
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      Hi!

      I've been skimming through your journal. And I've read your convictions about your faith. The comments you get seem to be about your faith! Sorry to be another one of those. But I am a born-again Christian. Backslidden, perhaps. It's nice to read posts from other Christians.

      Anyway, I used to keep a DJ online here, but soon switched over to keeping it locally on my computer. But last week, I made a decision to stop making entries in it. I think I need a break from trying so hard to LD. Maybe the break will help. I don't know for sure.

    4. #29
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      Thanks for the comment
      I must admit, I'm not very good at reading others journals at this time. My life is so hectic and my concentration is so low. Maybe that has to do with me coming off 18mg daily Strattera cold turkey lol I ran out and my pdoc gives them to me for free when he has them. If I call him he'll call me in a prescription but if I can wait until the 9th then I'll get them freely (hopefully) lol.
      But I'm going to start reading them soon You should strat up another one after your sleep cycle and dreaming gets back on track. When I try to force dream themes or try hard to LD, I don't tend to remember my dreams as well. So I definitely sympathize.

      It's nice meeting another Christian
      Even when I'm in better spiritual health, my spirituality is often a recurring theme because I'm a perfectionist and my dreams always show me what I need to work on, even if I really don't need to lol

      Keeping a dream journal here is new to me. When I live at our country home, we don't have internet yet. But I have an iPod touch and an application for WordPress (a blogging community) which allows me to save posts and then upload it whenever I'm in a wi-fi area. But I'll be living here in the RV for the next several months, so I've gotten used to DV. It will be hard to switch back over!
      If I wasn't so torn emotionally and spiritually, I'd be getting spoiled. I hate to admit it, but having my kids taken away from me has done wonders for my health. But I miss my little ones and can't wait to get them back good health or bad. Perhaps parenting classes will do me good and I'll learn how to find a balance.

    5. #30
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      I finally went to sleep around 3:30AM and I woke for the last time to my dog crying at around 12:30PM. Then I spent about 20 minutes trying to move her dog house which had frozen onto the ground, so I've lost most of my dreams.

      I recall I was lucid at one point. I was reading something when I became lucid and I told myself to keep reading. I don't know what became of it.

      At some point, I woke up sweating to death. The outside temp rose too quickly and it felt like 80 degrees in the RV, so I got up and turned off the stove top and oven.

      At another point, I was uncomfortable and switched sides of the couch and later I was disturbed because I was a little cold lol

      One dream I partially remember took place in rugged, wild area. I think it was inspired from watching Man vs Nature (or something similar) right before going to sleep. At one point, I was trying to escape from a man who was trying to kill me. I think I tried killing him with a knife, later in the dream we wrestled and he tried killing me with a knife. When I asked why, he said I tried to kill him first. I wish I could remember more.

      At some other point I dreamed my friend Roxanna gave birth to a healthy, happy girl. She's pregnant in RL and due some time this month. I was talking to someone on the phone and she told me to relay that info to them. Later, she got on the phone and started singing a song with the "F" word in it and it disturbed me because JW's don't use bad language.

      I also flew at some point, but that's all I know.

      I wont even try to interpret these, except the one with my friend in it. I dreamed it because she's due. She also has bipolar disorder and after her son was born she went through horrendous depression so I'm worried about her.

    6. #31
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      I was very sleepy earlier, so some time after 7PM, I put on my noise canceling headphones and loaded up "dream" binaural beats by Mind Machine on my iPod and I had a lucid dream aand accomplished part of the Task of the Month here at DV.
      I am SO proud of myself!

      After the lucidity disolved, I re-entered the dream I was having before becoming lucid. I was semi-lucid for awhile. I thought the second task was to have a wet dream rofl. I told myself that was wrong, it was something else, and that's when I completely lost lucidity.
      I had a very intense sex dream (but no "wet dream").

      Then I dreamed that 3 of my kids were returned to me at the modular. They were just dropped off as if nothing had happened. They went to bed and woke up angry at me for allowing them to oversleep. The clock on the stove said it was 7AM but when I looked back it said "4 AM" and I breathed a sigh of relief. I became frustrated with them and told them to not be mad at me. I wasn't expecting them to show up here. And I had a lot of preparations to make. They couldn't take a bus to a school in Charleston, so I had to sign them up for school locally. One of my kids asked for $40. and I told them I hadn't a dollar to my name. I didn't even have money to buy groceries until Monday. (In the dream it was Friday).
      Then one of my kids went to a circular computer/television bank in the center of a room.
      My daughters walked by me, much smaller than they are in RL and both of them had their hair in pigtails toward the top of their head. I told them I liked it, but I then told Destinee her's were a little lopsided. She just giggled and I knew she did it on purpose to stand out. Both had their hair cut shorter.
      My oldest son was still a little mad at me because I hadn't even done the laundry and he had nothing to wear. Again, I reminded him that I didn't know they were coming. Then I asked him what was wrong with what he had on. It was clean. He then sat down and complained about his hair. It had been cut very short and part of it was dyed a faint red. I told him I liked it.
      Then I went outside to go to hubby's house to ask him for grocery money early. But I noticed his shed was out front near the road. I went to investigate and there was hubby, sitting in front of the door to it. I was startled and told him to "watch out!" as the door swung open. I walked over to look, and there was his friend Scott. It turned out not to be the inside of the shed but the inside of the car trailer he has parked at the Farm, with a bed in the center, but there were boxes everywhere, and from where the bed was, Scott started coming out, carrying a beer. He had been sleeping in it. And hubby knew. Then we walked over to a tree near the mailbox and from cracks and crevices Scott removed a lot of money and paperwork. Some of it had blown onto the ground and hubby reminded Scott he had told him to find a better hiding place for it. I saw a dollar on the ground and went to get it for him, but it was only a mud clump. Then I saw the real dollar and got it.
      I told hubby about the recent development with the kids and he gave me my money early. I told him, we couldn't take the trip we had planned (there is no trip in RL) and he was okay with it. Scott was going with him instead.
      I wanted to tell hubby about the amazing lucid dream and then sex dream I had lol but I couldn't pull him away.

      Then the dream changed and I was a male super hero. This was brought about from reading the Omega thread but my dream added it's own twist. A group of people had been attacked. One woman in particular was elderly. Her home/office/high rise had been almost completely destroyed. I was a "Watcher" for the Activists/Pacifists. As the woman walked past, surveying the destruction I melded out of the wall and grabbed her. She was about to be killed by an evil Watcher in hiding, but she didn't know that and she didn't know my organization existed.
      I jumped off the side of a hole in the floor that went down several stories. I told her not to worry, I was there to protect her and I could fly. But as we decended, I kept reaching out and touching a bar that was on the side of the hole (sort of like one sees in an elevator shaft). She asked, if I could fly, why did I keep grabbing the bar. I told her it was for a more controlled decent

      Oh yeah, in the dream with my kids... before they had been dropped off, I heard meowing at the door to the RV. I opened it up and Icabah seemed to carry in another cat. I was a little mad at her for rushing in because animals are not allowed in the RV, but I asked her what she brought me. I asked if it was a kitten or a boyfriend. It was dark in the RV because I had been sleeping when her cries woke me up and I couldn't see well. It was full grown and mostly white, but it had a deformed head and I knew it was retarded. I turned the animal over and saw it was female.
      One of the cats jumped up on the table and in the light, for a moment, I thought it was "Rogue", my bob-tailed male cat that disappeared at out Farm last year, which the kids swear they saw him being carried off by wild dogs He was my "buddy-boy" and I miss him dreadfully. When I noticed the cats long tail, I remembered his fate.
      I then told Icabah they could stay for the night, because it was dreadfully cold outside, then I went back to sleep in the dream. I woke up in the modular, to my kids coming inside. I later asked them to find the cats and put them outside before they crapped everywhere.

      For interpretations... most of it is self-explanitory. The significance of $40. is: That is about how much money I needed to drive to Charleston to see my 14 year old son this weekend. But I refused to ask hubby for extra money and I missed this weeks visitation with him. I was talking to hubby about that before going to sleep- saying if I miss two visits in a row, then the state revokes my visitation completely, and he went off on a tangent about how I'm being pushed around and bullied by them for no good reason.
      He's a genuis (literally), I don't know how he continues to not comprehend things related to this case.
      I don't know the significance of the retarded cat.

    7. #32
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      Blah...

      I smelled "mold in my nose" yesterday (it's psychological of sinus related) and when my Vicks stick didn't work, I intended to take a fourth of vallium. But I wasn't paying attention and took the whole thing. After a couple hours, it surprisingly hadn't kicked in yet, so I thought about taking an allergy pill.
      And boy did the two knock me on my butt!! I just woke up at 3:30PM. I tossed and turned most of the night- too hot, too cold, dog crying, persistent mold smell/taste.

      The only dream I even partially recall was strange but brought on by the show "the Secret Life of an American Teen". The dream folded out as if I was watching the show. The baby was now two years old and about to be adopted by the gay couple. Someone was giving a speech and thought he was being funny but he made a bunch of references to homosexuality and pedifilia (sp). Someone rushed him out of the room and chastised his crude and rude behavior and explained that being gay doesn't make someone a child molester. The guy shrugged it off and said he was just being funny.

      And now my dog is crying again... now that the sun is out, maybe I'll see what she's stressing about.

    8. #33
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      Last night was not a good sleep/dream night. Part of it was due to the half an alcoholic drink I had that didn't agree with me (vanilla icecream with Creme de Cocao), and the large salad and fries I ate before bed, the Strattera I took (having found some in the modular and being off them for a week or more), and the binaural beats I listened to only annoyed me. I also became extreme hot and the dog barked off and on.

      THe only dream I even partially recall was strange but brought about by reading some threads here on evolution and from having just finished reading "The Taking". There is no deep interpretation.
      At first, I was viewing the dream as if a movie. There was an extremely large cage with a caged ramp to another large caged enclosure. It was filled with monkey's and one of them was going through a extreme rage. It wanted to kill another monkey and in the other area were small cars the monkey's could drive. There was some talking in the background as if the "show" was a documentary and the speaker wondered if the monkey could find a way to get the car to the other area. It did but then the dream changed. Instead of monkey's, there were people. Someone was asking a beautiful woman what certain things were. Her vocabulary was extremely limited. She called wood something else and said it was black instead of brown. The speaker then went on to say, that's why he could safely say they (the people caged) were not fully human and had no hope of everlasting life. I became enraged at that statement. They WERE human, but they were being oppressed and had little education and even smaller guidance.
      At some point, the woman escaped. She was in an airport, with her pants down around her ankles, sleeping. Someone with security or some such angrily pulled her pants up and walked away in a huff. Then a man approached her. He too had escaped, and seemingly just in time. When the experiments had been finished, all the people had been killed.

      **arg** and now I smell mold in my nose again. This is driving me crazy!! Blowing my nose only makes it worse but my nose is runny. Maybe I'm trying to get a sinus infection. I should get some antibiotics from hubby later on...

    9. #34
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      I went right back to sleep after my last post and the mold smell/taste is gone but I still feel absolutely miserable. But it's because I've been sleeping too much. My back is killing me lol

      I tossed and turned a lot, afraid I would oversleep and miss my pdoc appointment. I dreamed of trying to find something to wear to the Kingdom Hall. I had on a skirt but had taken it off for some reason and all I could see was a pair of pants. Then I saw the skirt, buried underneath the pants and put it on. Then I was looking for the material we've been studying at the meetings. THen I was in my car and I was changing again for some reason. But I didn't like what I put on, so I put the original skirt back on.
      Then my parents entered my dream but I don't recall their purpose.

      Interpretation: I'm anxious because I've been missing ALL my congregation meetings. The changing of clothes could be like dreaming about going to school naked... or it could represent the changes I need to make in myself (seeing how I kept changing clothes).

      And now I have to rush out the door for my appointment.

    10. #35
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      Ugh.. I feel miserable.
      I went to sleep at around 1AM but I kept waking up and falling right back to sleep seemingly every few minutes. It's now 5:30 and I give up. My back hurts from sleeping so much these past few days.
      I don't recall any significant dreams. I remember dreaming, but the two I even vaguely recall were like recaps from "Secret Life of an American Teen" and "Kyle XY", both of which I had watched earlier in the evening.
      There were also things about my kids and congregation, but I don't remember those at all.

    11. #36
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      I took half a blood pressure pill last night and I finally started getting sleepier around 1:30AM to the point that my anxiety was easing up. But my back still hurt desperately and my stomach started cramping a little. At around 2:30, I finally ended up sitting sort-of crossed legged and I fell asleep for a spell, bent over which helped the discomfort... but I quickly woke up when my legs went dead asleep lol and I was able to fall to sleep, laying on my side with a pillow and "PMS" binaural beats playing through my earbuds. I woke up several times when one or the other fell out, but I was able to fall right back to sleep after adjusting them.

      And I had a very strange dream.

      I was a little girl of about 7 years. "My" father was raising me alone- I'm not sure if there were any other kids. We were getting ready to move. The house was one of the larger ones I frequently dream about. But it was somebody else's house. I was trying to hide a skull. There was a space above the kitchen cabinets, so I threw it up there, hoping it wouldn't be found. The cops were coming to search the home. Apparently, we HAD lived there, but had moved. I went to a back door to try to escape, but I could hear police out there. I was trapped. I ended up crouching behind the opened front door, hiding. After awhile, I started falling asleep. The cops found me right away and said I shouldn't be there. They led me out and I sat at a table. Then I was an adult. I was eating at the table, looking at the terrified girl and I offered her some of my food. She declined and I told her it was very good and she should try some. She wouldn't.
      I asked the cops how they figured out the case and they said there were heat signatures in the basement where 2 bodies had been hid.
      Then I was the little girl again, cursing myself for having tried to hide them there (in a previous dream). A female cop came in, angry and disgusted at the remains of 7 dead people. I wondered if they were ALL people, because I only knew about the two and I wondered if some of them could have been animals or cats we had lost over the years.

      Then the dream changed and I found the master code (a very large folder containing the language I had made over the years- growing to over 35,000 characters). I was so happy to have found it, even though some pages were missing. It was written in red ink, as some of it had indeed been written, but the pages were written on front and back and I only wrote on the front side which confused me. Then I found one of the pages of a book I had been transcribing and I thought about posting it here as I said I would if ever I found it again

      It's now 6:30AM. I feel oddly awake. My headache is completely gone and my back and stomach are no longer bothering me. I feel a little hungry, but it's a phantom hunger from my galbladder being unhappy. But I'll still try to go back to sleep after I post this.

      Interpretations:
      Part of me is beginning to wonder if I witnessed some horrible crime when I was about 7 years old. Bad things happening to me at that age is a recurring theme and a psychologist thinks I may be repressing memories.
      But the house isn't much like the one I lived in at that time. We lived in Puerto Rico on a military base. Our building was attached to one other. Both had two floors but no basement. I remember being terrified at that age, but it was because my parents ALWAYS fought (my mom even threw a butcher knife at my dad once but my brother and I had been placed in the bath and I didn't witness it). I had nightmares about my doll, unusual sexual fantasies (especially for a 7 year old girl), and was often trapsing through the woods lost in my imagination.
      My dreams usually only recur in detail when I get the interpretation wrong.
      Previously, I thought the dead bodies I hid in a basement as an adult were aspects of myself I didn't want people to discover. Now, I have to re-evaluate that. I was anxious when I went to sleep, so it is possible the interpretation was true.
      As for the skull, that was brought about by nothing more than my marathon of playing Oblivion

      The master code is something I've wanted to hunt down for some time now and the page is something I've wanted to post here at the lounge in the handwriting post. I think it appeared in my dream for that reason only.
      Last edited by Zhaylin; 02-11-2009 at 12:38 PM. Reason: typo

    12. #37
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      Worlds MOST awsome dream!!

      I fell right back to sleep, then was woken by the phone at 8:30 then fell right back to sleep and woke suddenly and sat right up at around 9:30
      I wish this dream hadn't ended.

      I was with my mom and my oldest was was us but he was about 4 years old. I was visiting my half-sister who, guess what, was raising a 4 year old- my 4 year old- the spitting image of the child I brought with me, in another dimension. I looked at their shoes and clothes and I told my mom to keep a close eye on them because I wouldn't put it past them to try to switch places. In this world though, my sister had a daughter who was about 2 years old. She wanted me to take her for a walk but I couldn't because it was time for us to go and she started crying. I had no doubt who "my" son was because the other boy came over to me and hit me for making his "sister" cry.
      Everyone who I was with got into their cars- there were 3 car groups, and we prepared to leave. We became separated though so I started walking down the street. A car group stopped me and for some reason I was enraged with them. They wanted me to get in the car with them but I didn't want to. They told me a terrible mistake had been made in the calculation and we had to leave NOW. The next window of opportunity wouldn't be for 49 years.
      So I got in the car with them and we stopped to see someone who might be able to help. It was my former dear friend Robert H. He was beside himself with grief over the error he made. I held him and tried to soothe him and he said he always had a crush on me and wanted me to "muffle" his ears. He then placed one of my hands over his ear and I cupped it and pet it. He eventually felt better but it was very odd because in my universe Robert H. was gay. He was "in the closet" when we were friends (except with me whom he confessed all his secrets to).

      Then I was at the kitchen table of my ex-husband and his family. He was a good man and my mom asked me: "Isn't this everything you ever wanted? You could have it here." But I chastised her because my ex was very happily married in this universe. He had a beautiful blond haired wife and a family of his own.

      Then I was with my first true love, Robert M. We left a house and he loosely intertwined his fingers with mine and we walked hand in hand for a long time. He said he was so happy I had come, then he went on to tell some of the story of what happened to the "me" in that universe. "I" had been diagnosed with multipersonality disorder but he never believed it. "My" doctors name, lol, was Dr.House but he was a charlatin (sp) who didn't have any idea of what he was doing. Robert M didn't say it but I had the impression "I" had died. I told him that all I suffer from is severe anxiety. He was a little dubious of that diagnosis because of the "me" he had known and loved. I told him I see a good psychiatrist every month and have for several years... just the one, and that I don't trust General Practicioners to handle things like mental health. He was relieved. The "me" in that universe bounced from doctor to doctor which just made her worse.
      Then we came to the side of a building with a phone of sorts on it. He handed me a paper bag and told me to read off the numbers to him. He was fixing our return trip home. Though at some point earlier in the dream I had told my relatives that I didn't mind staying- it was the chance of a fresh start. They asked where we would stay and what we would do and I laughed and said we could stay in the homeless shelter and then re-establish ourselves. They were in their 50's though and had no desire to do that

      As we stood at the side of the building, my 2 daughters ran up- their proper age. They were wearing new shoes and clothes and we showing them off. Robert M asked "so THAT'S what you spent your money on?" and I discerned he had given them some spending cash. They giggled as he lectured them, then they ran off playing.

      The next thing I remember is driving down a road and my car dies. I was carrying something a lot like a VCR. I started going to a house to ask for assistance, but a gust of wind blew me over their clothes line, over the branch of a tree and onto the precarious balcony of a the nearby home. I saw a car in the drive way and went through the open door and set the VCR thing down. Then I heard a dog growl so I backed up onto the balcony and closed the door. And I found it was locked and I couldn't get back inside. I NEEDED that VCR thing though and I was greatly distressed. There were horses and dogs beneath me, but all friendly. They could tell I needed help and went for people. I had a sort of rod that I tried using to open the door, through the skeleton key-hole, but it bent. I climbed down and explained to a neighbor what had happened. They laughed and said help was on the way. As soon as they found the home owner, I would be given my thing back.

      But then I was in a mall, carrying the rod. A woman was warming her butt on a display but when she saw I noticed, she simply lower her skirt back to its proper place and walked away. Then I saw I was in a toystore. I set the rod down in a corner and looked at some of the dolls. The dolls laughed which made a baby girl laugh and I laughed. The mother looked at me suspiciously, but I explained and she smiled. Then I had to double back to grab the rod.

      Then I was playing a computer game. It was Civilization only different. I was IN the game, fortifying houses, ordering other things to be made. Then, quite unexpectedly, a dinosaur appears. An extremely HUGE dinosaur. He squashed one of my houses and people were scattering everywhere. He then stepped on me and I died... and then just left the game.

      I was trying to make my way back to the car and the VCR thing. I was holding a Walmart bag that was paper and looked quite different from ours. On it was written all the banks they accept money from. There were a good many listed and none I was familiar with. I also had the phone number which allowed our visit to this other dimension. I wondered if I should show it to my pdoc and tell him everything that happened there.

      Then the dream shifted and I was the old, skinny male lawyer from Law and Order. He too was on a trip to another dimension, and he was flabbergasted. He closed a book and said something like: "I just can't believe everything that was written in your Jewish history books."
      I abhor racism, and the disgust in his voice shocked me and I woke up lol

      That is, by far, the best dream I've had in a long time. It's now 10:30 which means it took me nearly an hour to write it all out.

      I think the interpretation is self-evident. I long for a chance to start over. That theme was solidified in my mind and likely contributed to last night's anxiety attack because I had watched "Without a Trace" and a guy had been given the chance to start over fresh (he had been creating false ID's for himself for 16 years and could've gone to jail).
      It was nice interacting with the people from my past.

      But now I'm going to try to go back to sleep...

    13. #38
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      You make my dreams look so lonely. So many loving people from your past and present

      I especially like all the confusion with the children. Kids grow up so fast, it seems they are different people from one month to the next. I have three brothers, and my mother would always mix up our names when she got upset.

    14. #39
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      lol thanks but my family is NOT all that close and loving. I dislike my parents and my sister at this particular time in my life (though mother is now forgiven). And kids DO indeed grow up quickly. I too confuse my kids names
      My youngest one dislikes her name: Zee'Arra Junell. WHen I get mad at her I always call her Zee'Arra. To which she always says: "Don't call me that! My name is Zee!" But if she and her sister Destinee are fighting, I usually mix up their names. SOmetimes they think it's funny, sometimes they get irritated with me.


      I fell right back to sleep and in a similar dream. I was in a parallel universe and our trip was almost over. I was with hubby and we got separated. We had to walk up a really steep, gloomy passageway to get to the restrooms and the line was very long. I sat down and fell asleep and had a dream within my dream. I dreamed that my feet were in a puddle of water and I could perfectly see two fish swimming beneath them. I documentary-style voice was explaining that one of the fish was sometimes called "Adam's Rib" because of it's unusual eating style. It attacks the one fish and when the victim opens its mouth to attack back, the Adam fish- or Adam's Rib- swims inside the fish and eats it from the inside out, secreating a poison to help it disolve the tougher parts and bones. I pulled my foot away at that time and in the dream, I awoke and found my foot hurt where some of the poison had gotten on it lol. But I told myself it had only been a dream so my foot couldn't really STILL hurt.
      After that, I walked on and I came to an amusement ride. Only, I thought it was a vehicle tunnel. I tried to drive down it in the vehicle provided and one of the guys at 3 booths grabbed himself like he had to pee and started jumping up and down annoyed with me. I tried turning to the other booth but it was blocked by barrels. I tried to explain that and I didn't know where to go. One guy directed me to the last lane, then my vehicle was added backwards to others- almost like shopping carts in a line. I told him not to be mad at me- I had never been here before. But he couldn't believe that. I asked what was going on. The vehicle was a weird sort that at first looked like a car, then looked completely open. He showed me where to place my feet, then told me to move them still higher. There was a long line of other vehicles past the barrier who were very impatient with me.
      He said I would be stuck in place until we got going, then I would have free movement to shoot the other crafts. I started panicking, especially as I plundged into some water and watched as "reality" changed before my eyes. A sniper helicopter was coming straight at me. I didn't even know where my gun was, but I finally found it and started shooting.
      At some point, the vehicle disappeared and I was swimming with the others. I was dreadfully tired but then I saw movement below me and felt nips. The water was full of sharks. I tried to get to the edge, out of the water and another girl had the same thought. We climbed up and saw a dead body float by and a worker came in from nowhere and retrieved it. We finally left and I said it felt like I was there for weeks. The girl said it's supposed to feel like 3 weeks. I asked how long we were really gone for and she said 1 week. She said she couldn't help but love the adventure even though she loses about 3 friends a week in death to it.
      I wanted to ask her how she could still possibly want to be part of it but I was panicked because I was supposed to be gone. So much time had passed.

      I started to leave but security stopped me, saying I had a concealed weapon. I told him that was crazy. He started describing a cylinder object. I told him it was the flashlight I have attached inside my jacket. They let my show them. It has a small beam and they acted as if it was a laser. The one said it felt hot. But I showed them how it worked and they relaxed but he asked about another object in my fanny pack. I showed it to him and said it was my lighter because I'm a smoker and I showed them a pack of cigarettes. The one guy said "smoker" with disgust, but they let me go. I went back to retrieve some other items that were in a container like they give you at the airport. My iPod and cash were out in the open and I was afraid they'd be stolen.
      A girl apologized and said my things had fallen to the floor, so she picked them up and placed them there and she couldn't help but notice my money is different from theirs.
      I quickly pocketed $100. as she and another girl quickly brought out their own money and added it to mine to compare the differences. They knew I wasn't from around there, so I explained I was from a parallel universe and I lost my husband and I didn't know how to get back. But I was caught up in their excitement. We noticed some similarities in some of the bills and I explained the differences in some of mine- the old style money and the new. Their coins were shaped differently, most weren't circular.
      They asked what else we had that they had. I saw a buildboard across the street. I said we had Budweiser and John Adams and a few others. Then they were talking about George Lopez and I asked if he was a comedian and they said yeah and that he would be funny in ANY world Then we started comparing the show which was completely different but they understood our version better [funny thing is, I haven't watched that show in at least 6 months and then it wasn't regularly].
      They wished me well and I was on my way.

      At some point, I found myself in a hotel room taking a bath. When I came out, McDonalds was waiting for me and a group I was with at the door. I asked if everyone always recieved breakfast like that and they said yeah. Everything was very timely and orderly.
      Then I was on a beach and I found my husband and explained what had happened. As we approached the water, he jumped back disgusted. He said the water looked like a woman's menstrural flow. It was a very weird shade of reddish black.
      But an authority figure did not like what he said and we were arrested.
      We were taken onto a vessel of sorts and children were practicing Kempo and doing other forms of martial arts. I thought we were done for, but a young man who passed me, winked- letting me know everything would be okay.
      People were doing long flips all around me and then I saw a curious thing: Myself, with my purple belt at about 14 years old. And I did a flip in the air- something I've never actually dared.
      It was then that I realized I was dreaming and I rushed off to find Cupid and steal his bow.
      I wrote that part out in the task of the month thread so I wont re-write it here. After I completed the task, I returned willingly to the dream.

      Hubby and I got off the vessel when we explained we weren't from around there and didn't know the water was supposed to look like that. They forgave us and arranged transportation to the teleportation zone so we could return to our own world.
      Somewhere along the line, I didn't trust them and rushed out of the vehicle and looked for escape and my hubby who was in a different vehicle. I tried flying over a wall and woke myself up. It was then about 12:30PM and I've finally had enough sleep.

    15. #40
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      Oh yes, the interpretation...
      Do I *really* have to lol. Yes, I must, even though I consider it a chore

      These dreams were simply inspired by the one I had before it. I also remembered I've been listen to Lewis Carol's collection of books on my iPod. I need to listen to him more if it's going to inspire dreams as these!!

      Feet- is a recurring theme throughout the dream. Feet don't really symbolize anything to me except being a mode of transportation. Because my feet hurt at one point, maybe I see life's journey as being painful.
      "Adam's Rib" could be related to the Chronicles of Narnia because humans are always called "sons of Adam and daughters of Eve". But there seems to be more to it than that. A fish was eating another fish from the inside out and using poison to help it. What could that mean? It was also a dream within a dream. The ONLY thing that comes to mind when I think on it is my wanting to get back down to 105 pounds. But I don't see how it's connected, unless I feel that such a weight loss would kill me (or most likely, the TRYING would lol) But I really don't see how the one fits with the other.

      The reddish-black ocean has to do with my period which should start in earnest tomorrow.

      The Kempo is in there because I've been remembering those days lately.

      And that's all I'm good for, for now. I woke up with a headache. I guess I slept too much lol and I must find food...

    16. #41
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      My gracious...

      regardless of what I previously said, I went back to sleep and I've been sleeping literally all day long (for the most part). It's now 7:15 and we're having an intense wind/hail storm that's very impressive and enjoyable.
      But I may lose power, so I'll keep this short, and my gracious, it felt like a basket ball sized hail almost came through the roof!!

      I dreamed I was old and dying. My grandchild was mad at me because he thought I was taking his grandfather with me in death. He sat on the ground, as did I and I placed my head on his lap and we remembered our joys. I passed away peacefully.

      In another dream the word Rabbadash/a or some sort came into play and I spent 2 more dreams trying to recall the import of it that I've forgotten the dreams themselves lol.
      Now I gotta get off of here in case of an outage.

    17. #42
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      Posting that last dream was done just in the nick of time. I did indeed lose power and it's just now coming back on!!
      Thankfully, staying in an RV means I have a generator and I'm pretty self-sufficent. But filling up the tank with gas cans was dreadful, as was helping hubby fill the generator for his house, buying supplies and transfering food from the freezer to the large freezer in the basement. I was glad I slept all day because hubby and I were wiring up his place etc from about 11PM until 6AM!!
      When I slept, I slept hard. I dreamed, but the moment I woke up I had to feed the gas tank and forgot what they were.
      Hopefully, tomorrow will be better.

    18. #43
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      I have to make this fast because as soon as hubby goes back to work I'll lose my internet (about 10 minutes from now lol)

      Last night I dreamed I was following an elf though the woods. He told me not to follow him but I did anyhow. It was a scene as if from Oblivion- I went into sneak mode but he saw me anyhow. Then I drank a potion of Invisibility and went into a yard where he was meeting others. But they saw me and gave chase and I ran. I was angry because they saw me despite the potion.
      Then I was in a large hotel type area. The elf was leaving to meet them again. I tried another way and there was a dog.
      Then my kids came into the picture and I told them the house rules and said I had to leave NOW, but I would be back soon. Another boy, not my son in RL, started crying and said he needed me NOW and I said I couldn't. He became angry and said I was never there for him. He said my sister was always at work and I was always sleeping or on the computer.
      I gave him a hug then went into another yard to see if I could catch up with the elf.
      There was another yard with a large and friendly looking dog, but I didn't want to get into it's territory and see how friendly it really was. I finally made it to where the elf had been but it was vaccant. It had taken me too long to get there.
      I was annoyed because I couldn't figure out how to beat the level and in RL my game guide has been misplaced and with the internet down I couldn't look up any walkthroughs lol

      That's all I got.

    19. #44
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      *whew* The electric is back on for good, for now

      I took a very short nap earlier and had a strange dream that I was going out to eat with my kids at an expensive restaurant. If you brought your own food though, I was told they would prepare it for you free of charge. At the car, I was preparing plates with servings to be cooked- tiny servings of meat, chicken, veggies. Once inside I made a point of asking if what I heard was true. A hostess said: "Yes, if you have bought food from Timberline, we'll help you cook it up." But the stuff I had was from Timberland and I was worried about whether they would notice or not.
      At the table sat my 13 year old daughter, but she was a baby of about a year and a half. She was chubby and wearing only a diaper lol I took off my vest and tried putting it on her and had trouble zipping it.
      Then my 16 year old son came to the table, but he was an old man with a curly, long beard. My daughter excalimed: "Grampy!"
      Then I woke up.

      That dream came about because I had to meet up with my kids this afternoon for lunch and our visitation. I was worried about being able to afford the trip earlier in the week but I got $100. from hubby for my medicine but thankfully my pdoc had samples for me. Plus, he completely filled up my gas tank when we were making gas runs for the generators during the blackout.
      Why my 13 year old was a baby, I don't know.
      My boy being old and having a beard was due to his emailing me to buy him an electric razor because he desperately needs to shave. But, of course, I can hardly afford to buy him another razor after his sister broke his first one.
      The part about me bringing food was due to talking to Angel (the mediator for our visitations) yesterday and her saying we can't meet anywhere except a restaurant until the weather gets warmer and then we can have picnics.

    20. #45
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      Despite thinking otherwise (in the self-destruct thread in the lounge) I did get some sleep this morning from 7:30AM-10:30AM and then I reset the alarm and slept on an hour longer.
      I remember dreaming, but I got up so quickly that they were instantly lost.
      Hopefully, tonight will be better.

    21. #46
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      I had some strange dreams last night, but I don't recall much about any of them.
      In one, I was inside a video game with several little Marios trapped inside some earth and I had to move some tubes around at just the right angle to free them. This part was in third person. And then a Mario shot out of an end tube and I noticed he could touch coins and get points, so I started controlling his hand to tap a coin every time he went up and down. Then he went so high up I thought he would leave the atmosphere.. and then there I was still with a third person view. My mother was with me and we were plummeting to the ground and I was terrified. As we got closer to the earth the more frightened I was. My mom talked to me but I don't remember what she said.
      My fear was great and I was frantic. Then I said- still quite frantic- "This is a dream. I'm having a lucid dream. I wont be hurt."
      I don't recall what happened after that.

      I dreamed of my kids, of being in the large house I so frequently dream about, of reading something and knowing I was dreaming, of the power in the RV getting dim and shutting off, brightening and getting dim again.

      I awoke first at 7:30 having just fallen asleep around 4AM. I fell right back to sleep and woke a couple more times to fall right back to sleep. Then my dog was barking her head off and I dreamed she let out a sudden cry which woke me right up. I ran to the window and saw she was quite fine but barking at my hubby who is repairing the phone line to the RV.
      He said he was surprised the noise of the generator hadn't woken me up sooner lol and I told him I dreamed about it.
      I woke the last time at 1PM and I have a horrendous headache.

      **Edit**
      I remember 2 dreams. In one, my cat Rogue came to the RV from the Farm and I was amazed at him (it's nearly an hours drive). I was so happy to see him because we've been so certain he was eaten by wild dogs.

      In another dream, someone was pregnant with a girl but something was wrong with it. It was growing much too quickly. Then a view of the baby was superimposed and defects were seen. She was beautiful when looked at head-on, but if you looked toward her ears, they were oddly folded. The doctor explained they had to do surgery to repair it just as they had already repaired some other problems. It was then that I noticed slight scars going down the babies eyelids then again at her lips.
      And then I saw a horror. There was a baby face on each of her legs. She had tried to split into triplets, but it didn't work and the faces were all that remained but each was aware and I mourned for them because they had to be removed to save the intact baby.
      Last edited by Zhaylin; 02-15-2009 at 08:54 PM. Reason: Frequent saves in case I lose power

    22. #47
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      Dumb Dog

      I fell asleep by 1AM and woke at around 3 to go to the restroom. I don't recall the dreams before then. I fell right back to sleep but woke briefly several times with heartburn and then at 5AM the dog started carrying on and woke me up. I feel oddly awake.
      I barely recall a dream I was having before she started yapping.

      I was in an old fort I often dream about. I was playing "Gotcha" with a group of friends I don't recall seeing but heard. I found a secret tunnel which had someone with a real gun. He had taken a hostage and I was trying to rescue the person and found I no longer carried only my fingers as a gun but a real one.
      At one point I was in an entryway, being shot at and I jumped and rolled for cover on the other side, taking a couple shots.
      It was almost pitch black in the tunnel, though and somehow the person got behind me so I pressed onward, trying to find a place of advantage. As I went ahead, it became even darker. I glanced back and saw a goblin. Then I reached the end of the tunnel which had a crawlspace exit blocked by some rocks. I kicked them out of the way to slow down the goblin and I heard the voice of a female friend asking where everyone was.
      Then, I think, I woke up.

      Interpretation: Replied to a thread at the lounge about playing war games in old forts with my brother when we were kids added with some elements of Oblivion

      *Blah* I feel rotten. Right before going to sleep I chugged the last 3rd of my Vitamin water, swallowed some air then went through a series of belching the stuff back up, swallowing, choking and nearly vomiting. That's what gave me heartburn and now my throat is also a little sore from reflux.

      I think I'll play some Glyph and try to go back to sleep.
      Last edited by Zhaylin; 02-16-2009 at 06:11 PM.

    23. #48
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      Thank goodness for Glyph. I was asleep by 6:30 and the phone woke me up a little after 11:30.
      I had some strange dreams, but I don't recall all of them, unfortunately.

      In one I was on an airplane in space. At first it was full of people and not in space, but traveling regularly. I went to go to the restroom and saw that part of the airplane was missing. I worried we were going to crash and that's when I noticed we were drifting in space. The oxygen masks were down as I went back to my seat, but there were no people.
      And that's all I remember of that one.

      In another one I was typing something and found that if I pressed certain buttons at the same time I could make smilies, but it was inconsistent and drove me crazy lol

      In another one, I was in a store and there was a huge display of a bear with a tube behind it that was supposed to be a blanket. It was very cheap and I wanted to buy it but couldn't. Then I was talking to others and the store was virtual or something because the other people hadn't reached "that level" yet. Then I went to a gas station to buy cigarettes but they didn't have my brand or any full flavor menthol 100's, so I simply left and found I was in Pensacola, FL walking to my parents house.

      In yet another dream, I was carrying a newborn- except it was holding onto me on its own like a baby monkey does. I was at a party and gay. My partner requested a song for us and we started dancing. It was a strange song, like something from the 50's or 60's. I could hardly move. It was an upbeat song, not a slow one and I can't dance and felt utterly stupid. Then I saw my partner looked stupid too but was having fun so I tried dancing anyhow, resolving to not be so serious all the time. But I was drenched in sweat. My friend from RL came over to me and offered to take the baby and I was extremely relieved.
      Then the dream changed somewhat and I saw the fat guy from Seinfeld (sp) and he was married to Lilith (?) from Cheers and the other show with the Doctor and a radio show I think it was who had been married to her. Anyhow, the fat guy was in a humorous rage saying that had to put a clause in their marriage not allowing them to be gay because 2 gay guys were coming over and he was having "none of that". Then the wife poked fun at his ego saying the guys weren't interested in him because although he satisfies her, he's not much to look at. I actually think this part came right before the other dream.

      I'm too lazy to interpret them right now but it's nothing exciting anyhow.

    24. #49
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      Blah!!

      I cannot sleep to save my life. I am so tired my eyes are burning and they have been since around midnight! I have fallen asleep a couple of times for about an hour each time. I'm cold, even though the heat from the oven and stove are on and good.
      This last time I woke, I awoke to a sore throat and a clogged nose. Now I know why I haven't had any appetite or energy- I've caught a cold.

      I've already forgotten the dreams I had. Hopefully, I'll fall asleep later and make up for them

    25. #50
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      Ugh

      I feel miserable. I finally managed to get a few hours of sleep (about 3 this last time). The phone woke me up. My lawyer is missing MDT meeting with me tomorrow because he got a sapena (sp) for another case, which has made my mood worse.

      The only dream I truly recall was of being in Japan. I was at a water park with a baby girl and someone was giving me a tour. It was strange because the woman giving it was accompanied by 3 virtual images of women with fans and every now and then they would open their fans in a "tada" sort of fashion. At one point I passed a baby pool and upon entering the park I was taken away by all the tube rides. I commented that there must be millions of people, should to shoulder, at that place during the summer. The guide said surprisingly not- it was their more quiet time of year.

      Snippets of other dreams include me giving hubby a massage with ice, but at a distance. He asked for more pressure and warmth and I disappeared into the shadows. He got up thinking he had been dreaming
      In another dream, a couple was being scammed. They were picked up and driven somewhere to be given a substantial check and then another con artist showed up and started at them as part of the scam. When they deposited the money it somehow actually drained their own money and forwarded it to the con mens account.

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