(MILD-1) Brienne's Student Workbook

**Brienne** · 08-05-2010 04:26 AM

So excited about this class! Great first lecture Percy! Tonight I remember to spin.

**PercyLucid** · 08-05-2010 10:38 PM

Good!

Remember to keep us posted and record here all your dream related feelings and thoughts during waking, before going to bed and when you awake in the middle of the night!

**Brienne** · 08-06-2010 04:01 AM

Alas, no lucidity last night. I had a very hard time with recall this morning. In the middle of the night I woke up after a very cool (non-lucid) dream and thought "I should write this down right now" but didn't. By morning I'd forgotten it almost completely. From now on I keep a flashlight by the bed. Last five minutes before I went to bed last night: offered incense, prayed, read through recent dream journal entries, and then silently changed, "I'm dreaming," while falling asleep. I tried to incubate that blank rushing place from when I was lucid before so I could go back, spin, and start creating. No luck this time. I'd had a bad day and was pretty stressed.

I can't find my dream stone. I was also stressed about that. It's just a tumbled piece of purple glass with shiny streaks through it like a marble. It's part of my reality checks. I look at it and say "opaque" in an attempt to make it so. I was disheartened because I'd lost it and I think I felt less confident because of it. It was a gift from a close friend. On the upside when I find it I'll be so relieved and confident it's bound to induce lucidity.

Today I drew a question mark on my hand to suggest reality checks. Whenever I looked at it I repeated "I'm dreaming" to myself a few times and RCd. I'm working on figuring out the perfect stimulus. I want to condition myself to RC in response to something that's likely to occur in a dream. Last time I didn't really need it as a DC was yelling "You're dreaming!" at me, but that might not always happen. I've considered RCing every time I pass through a doorway but I think that's a little too frequent to be practical. I have a number of ideas but the problem is currently I'm checking upon every potentially useful stimulus, which does not send the clear and precise kind of signal to my subconscious I'm going for. Eventually I hope to find something that both happens invariably whenever I dream and occurs in waking frequently enough that the stimulus-response link becomes habit.

I believe I have a dream goal now above and beyond becoming lucid. Tonight when I attain lucidity, I will sing in a Renaissance choir. Not something that's practical in my waking life. I'll be interested to see how my subconscious fairs as a composer of Renaissance chant. And as a director and choir, for that matter.

**dakotahnok** · 08-06-2010 04:20 AM

I like your workbook, keep it up!

**PercyLucid** · 08-06-2010 04:31 AM

That is a pretty nice goal, however, I will ask you for these week to ONLY focus in becoming lucid and nothing else. Do not bring goals to your lucid dream. We will speak about that next class. Just go ahead and focus on turning lucid only. If in your lucid you remember to do desired stuff, go ahead, but during waking only focus in turning lucid. I consider that a above average goal in difficulty... My opinion about this, is not an appropriate goal, at least, not for now. Focus on turning lucid. That's all you need. There more lucids you have, the more will come. That's a fact. Focus on that only.

Excellent work.

**freakishular** · 08-06-2010 05:41 AM

I really like your idea of the dream stone and trying to make it opaque. that's a good technique!

**Brienne** · 08-06-2010 09:07 PM

Thanks for the feedback. I'm not planning to focus on that goal while I'm awake. It's just a very soft intention; planting a seed for the future when it'll be an appropriate goal.

Last night I decided to try logging every time I woke. Not only would I have a better chance of remembering more dreams and sending a stronger message to my subconscious that dreams are a priority, but it could provide the data necessary to begin keeping track of my sleep cycles. It was 1:35AM when I turned out the lights--slightly later than usual but earlier than the night before.

I chanted my mantra as I was falling asleep but it didn't feel very strong. I had trouble focusing on it and would think other things while I was chanting it. I didn't feel especially confident. I had a bad night over all. I felt as though I was never going to fall asleep. I didn't feel rested and I couldn't remember dreaming, but I'd look at the clock and over an hour would have gone by. I couldn't figure out when to write in my dj because I couldn't differentiate between the times I'd slept and woken up and the times I'd just stayed awake.

I already knew my tendency was to wake up several times over the night so instead of setting an alarm I'd just get up when I made a dj entry close to 9am. I was excited about the idea of waking naturally. I hate alarm clocks at least as much as anyone else. But the only times I ended up writing were at 4:13 when one of the cats decided it was hairball time and I threw him outside, and at 8:32 when the other cat started meowing very loudly to be let out of the basement. My boyfriend easily slept right through all of this. I'm jealous. I chanted my mantra each time I went back to sleep. Neither of the dream fragments I remembered was lucid and both were more or less nightmares. Lots of panic, fear, and anger. I'll record them in my DJ.

**Brienne** · 08-07-2010 06:34 AM

I've been experimenting with different cadences and stride lengths while running. On today's run I used slow steps and focused on leaning back while my feet fell forward. Somehow this particular combination made me feel as though I were flying, the way I often feel when running downhill. It's also uncannily close to how it feels for me to run in dreams. I love running in dreams because gravity always works with me. Sometimes I actually take off. I did so many reality checks during today's run because a couple of times I honestly thought I must be asleep. It was amazing. For the last half mile I had a bunch of energy left so I just darted off, striding high and long and easy.

Besides that today has been kind of crappy. Whenever I don't sleep well it messes up my whole day, which makes it more difficult to sleep the next night. I'm going to meditate on my mantra for a good half hour before going to bed. Hopefully that'll do the trick. I've also decided to designate a particular type of incense as my dream incense. I'll burn it only as I'm going to sleep and never under any other circumstances. That may help my mind separate the day from the night.

**PercyLucid** · 08-07-2010 06:22 AM

I am sorry for those nightmares!!!!

You will turn lucid soon. Just get used to chant mantras at night and before going to bed and you will turn lucid very soon. Keep up the good work!!!

**Motley** · 08-08-2010 05:35 AM

Hello, getting involved in fellow classmates' workbooks.

This is really interesting reading these and a very good idea with the running. I swim, so I have lots of time and nothing else to do I i may try just RCing and chanting a mantra during those long laps. Good luck!

**PercyLucid** · 08-09-2010 05:47 AM

Good job! It is very important to RC when you feel exceptionally good during waking or something dreamy (like your running) You are on your way to lucidity!!!

How about last night?

**PercyLucid** · 08-10-2010 06:55 AM

Keep up with the work, please, so I can couch and help you!

**Brienne** · 08-11-2010 11:01 AM

I'm sorry for my absence. Things have been very hectic for the past few days. I've been helping my boyfriend move into his new place while I too moved in with a friend. I've been trying to focus on dream things but I haven't been able to find time to post here and I feel that I'm back sliding. I've been stressed and my recall has been awful for a couple of days. My sleep schedule has gotten completely bonkers as well. Things are settling down now but tonight I'm doing an all-nighter to reset my sleep schedule. I have some studying to get done anyway. So I'll certainly get back to updating here reliably but there will be no dreaming for tonight. All dreams from the past few days are in my DJ.

**Brienne** · 08-11-2010 10:20 PM

Well, slight change of plans. I rememberd I had an important run planned for today so I had to sleep, even if it's during funkey hours. I woke up at ten without much recall, couldn't find my dj, and went back to sleep chanting my mantra. At that point I had a really interesting dream in which I dreamed that I was having a lucid dream. It's recorded in my DJ. Tonight I'll go to bed early whether I like it or not and wake up at dawn.

**Brienne** · 08-12-2010 03:36 PM

I did in fact manage both to complete yesterday's workout and to wake up at dawn for today's run, but the going to sleep early thing didn't really happen so I probably slept about four hours. I was sick last night thanks to tamales that apparently were too spicy for me. Sry for missing class. I chanted my mantra as I went to sleep and did several reality checks during the evening but I recall no dreams whatsoever. Not really surprising given the sleep deprivation. Tried chanting my mantra as I was running this morning and I really liked it. I've used mantras during running before. It's a nice meditative pace maintenance tool. I also reality checked a few times. Now I'm very sleepy and I plan to take a nap after lunch. I'd like to read the lesson from last night but I believe your link is broken, Percy. I'll get to it later today if it gets fixed.

**Brienne** · 08-14-2010 04:19 AM

I got took a nap yesterday around one and got to bed extra early--like 9PM or so--but I still just didn't sleep well. :-/ I keep having vague and stressful dreams and despite all my efforts I have yet to do a reality check while I'm asleep. I'm doing them every couple of hours when I'm awake but I guess it's still just not sinking in.

Percy, I still can't access the chat log from the second lecture. :-(

**PercyLucid** · 08-14-2010 10:07 PM

That's odd!! Can you access to the MILD-1 Chat threat?

Here is it:

Chat log for class #2:

Spoiler for 2nd Class:

Let me know if you have questions!

I am sorry for my delay, I have been reading your workbooks but I've been insanely busy!!

**Brienne** · 08-15-2010 06:20 AM

Going to read chat log from last class immediately before sleep tonight (in a few mins.) Thanks, Percy.

Interesting thing might be happening with my dreams. I think I'm creating a kind of paradise to go to. It's appeared in multiple dreams now. A beautiful mountainous city (island?) with lakes on one side and an ocean on the other. I haven't been lucid there yet (though I've gotten very very close) but now I know exactly what channel to switch to when I am lucid.

**PercyLucid** · 08-15-2010 06:39 AM

But before visualize what is said on the chat log

That might be your inner sanctuary! Awesome!

**Brienne** · 08-16-2010 04:49 AM

Read the chat log from last class before bed. I like this assignment because as soon as I heard "forest" this scene from a recent dream sprang up:

We hopped down a level [in the barn] and through the final exit to the middle meadow, as Grandpa used to call it, running the whole way. We went to the woods on the north side of the field--and here's where things get *really* vivid.

There were so many wild flowers on the hillside by the forest where the bushhog couldn't go. There was a patch of lavender colored wild irises--or perhaps giant violets. I thought, "We should bring Mom a bouquet on the way back." There were white and yellow flowers on vines low to the ground and they smelled sweet and light. I looked for one of my favorite species with a similar but more powerful scent, but I found none.

This scene is tied to many powerful positive emotions for me so I decided it's a perfect starting place for the dream I'm incubating. Before I went to sleep, here is what I wrote and then visualized:

I'm standing at the edge of the middle meadow looking out across the scattered bales of hay. The grass is freshly cut and Grandpa's tractor has just been safely tucked into the barn. The sun is warm and the breeze carries the scent of honeyscukles. There's another familiar florid scent and I turn toward it to investigate. At the border between meadow and forest is an absolutely stunning patch of wild flowers. The ground is covered with tiny white and yellow flowers on vines, and from amidst them springs up in vibrant pastels, deep blues and purples, and bright reds, the most diverse array of foliage I have ever seen. One species in particular catches my attention and I enter the shadow of the forest for a closer look. The flowers are tall with think stems and lavender colored petals. They may be some kind of iris, or perhaps a... giant violet...

"Wait!" I think. "I've seen these flowers before! IN A DREAM!" All of a sudden that strange white rushing feeling comes over me, but I remember to spin. I don't wake up, I know that I am dreaming, and all the excitement of infinite possibility wells up inside of me. For good measure, I do a reality check, and indeed this *is* a dream.

I take a last look at the purple flowers in gratitude before taking off. Then I look toward the treetops and ascend. The air below me is supportive and compliant, and I can easily direct my flight above the forest. The wind is cool on my face and I can hear it rushing by. I fly over the creek and follow it down to the river before turning back.

When I wake up I'm so excited and proud that I wake my room mate to tell him all about it. He asks me to slow down several times, but I'm just too excited. I record the dream in my dj before going back to sleep.

My visualizations are always far more real to me when I write the scene out in words. I guess I'm just not very visual and writing is a good crutch. I'll write this scene out, probably adding detail and depth as I go, a few times a day, then read them all before bed. I can't wait to fly above that forest.

**Brienne** · 08-17-2010 05:44 AM

Though I did not become lucid nor did I enter any part of the dream I'm incubating, the process clearly had a profound effect on what I *did* dream last night. I've been thinking a lot about my ability to visualize and the difficulties I have with it under ordinary circumstances vs the depth and vividness I can achieve in visualizations while writing. I was discussing this with my room mate last night and I remarked that while visualizing normally feels like forced creativity, the imagination upon which I call during writing feels much more like discovery. I feel I'm doing little more than getting out of the way of a series of ideas that are already there and letting them find expressions on the page. The distinction between reality and imagination becomes insignificant. In my dream I was convinced, at one point, that I was the poet Milton, and I conflated the fiction of the setting and characters of Paradise Lost with the process of imagination that must have gone into producing the work. It was an endlessly facinating dream but exteremely difficult to capture in writing because it was so heavily conceptual. I am pleased that my attempts had a fairly imediate, if unexpected, effect on my dreaming.