Thread: What causes physical attraction?

I've pondered attraction quite a bit. I sort of agree with Black_Eagle on the point that most people form their ideas about attraction based on their personal experiences. I take a more generalized approach, since theories which incorporate the most aspects tend to explain things best.


Here's my take on the subject. Guys are left-brain dominant, meaning they're more logical, and tend to take things more at face-value. Guys are therefore more materialistic. We generally value the physical value of things over the nonphysical/sentimental value of things. If they see an attractive girl, they're instantly attracted to her. If they see an unattractive girl, they tend not to be too interested in her or her personality since she doesn't meet the prerequisite of physical attraction. This is an in-general description of a guy's sense of attraction. Depending on how emotional/sentimental a guy is (this corresponds to right brain activity), he may value girls' personalities more than other guys do.

On the other hand, girls are more right-brain dominant, meaning they're more emotional. They tend to take the sentimentality of things into account more than guys do. Therefore, a girl is generally going to favor a guy's personality over his looks, given that she has already gotten the chance to get to know him. A hot guy who has an unattractive personality will get far less girls than an average-looking guy with a great personality. There are a handful of important factors that go into an attractive personality. (In my opinion, the main factors are: Self-Value (confidence, mild cockiness), Dominance (the man-factor), Overall Positivity, Chivalry, and Sociability.) Above all, the basic emotion that girls are physically/sexually attracted to is dominance. To address the fact that some girls are attracted to rich and successful men, they do tend to be more materialistic and less sentimental than other girls.



Given the fact that girls are generally more attracted to personality, guys can instantly make themselves seem more attractive by changing their personality. I've done this before, and it does seem to make girls more sexually attracted to me. One of my current research projects, (as seen below) is testing personality modification from within dreams. If one were to give himself positive long-term personality traits from within a dream, then theoretically he would be able to make himself more attractive.

Originally Posted by MindGames

Guys are left-brain dominant, meaning they're more logical, and tend to take things more at face-value.
On the other hand, girls are more right-brain dominant, meaning they're more emotional.

These are actually myths.

Off-topic: Your text makes my eyes wander and the text seem wavy when I read it, MindGames. 'Tis awesome.

Originally Posted by MindGames

Guys are left-brain dominant, meaning they're more logical, and tend to take things more at face-value. Guys are therefore more materialistic. We generally value the physical value of things over the nonphysical/sentimental value of things.
...
On the other hand, girls are more right-brain dominant, meaning they're more emotional. They tend to take the sentimentality of things into account more than guys do. Therefore, a girl is generally going to favor a guy's personality over his looks, given that she has already gotten the chance to get to know him.

The problem I have with outlooks like this one is that I see little reason logic and emotion should be considered opposite ends of some spectrum. They're two completely different things. Everyone uses emotion/instinct/desire in life to decide on their goals at a base level, and then uses logic to decide on how to attain those goals. I think the false belief that logic and emotion oppose each other comes from the fact that when someone is in the heat of some emotion they're often temporarily distracted from using reason.

It seems more likely to me that men and women are biologically wired to use different criteria while judging a potential mate. The fact that the criteria are different might somewhat be explained by the fact that women are generally more emotional, but the difference is probably mostly due to blunt differences in the parts of the brains involved in attraction.

Originally Posted by Mario92

These are actually myths.

I don't think that they are true from a biological standpoint, but in this is strongly encouraged in our culture. Logic and emotion don't have to oppose each other either, it's just that in our culture men are taught to repress emotions and women are taught that they don't need to be smart. This obviously isn't the case with all people, it's just encouraged. It's basically just a side effect of patriarchy and treating women as objects.

Whatever the reasons for it, I still hold that men tend to be more attracted to physical traits, while women tend to be more attracted to emotional traits. It isn't necessarily because of the left-brain/right-brain theory, but that's the best explanation I can come up with.


e: After a bit of reading online, it looks like in some cases men primarily use the logical side of their brain. In those same activities, women use both sides of their brain equally. What this shows is that men do tend to be primarily logical in some cases while women also take emotion into account. This supports my theory that women are (obviously) more emotional than men. I believe this also carries over into the processes of attraction.

Source:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/art...ere.html?cat=4

Originally Posted by MindGames

Whatever the reasons for it, I still hold that men tend to be more attracted to physical traits, while women tend to be more attracted to emotional traits. It isn't necessarily because of the left-brain/right-brain theory, but that's the best explanation I can come up with.


e: After a bit of reading online, it looks like in some cases men primarily use the logical side of their brain. In those same activities, women use both sides of their brain equally. What this shows is that men do tend to be primarily logical in some cases while women also take emotion into account. This supports my theory that women are (obviously) more emotional than men. I believe this also carries over into the processes of attraction.

Source:
Gender Differences in Brain Hemisphere Use - Associated Content from Yahoo! - associatedcontent.com

In my R.E class, we are currently learning the topic of gender differences (and where they come from) and in the booklet we're given, it does say that men use the left side and women use both. We're not really told why, but we've concluded that it is from early experiences and influences.

We were shown a video (although our teacher likes to get us to really think about issues and never gives us a straight up answer, so I don't know for sure, but basically what's in the video is what she's implying). In the video, there was a baby that was dressed as both and boy and then a girl (not sure what sex it was) and then shown to people to see what their reactions were.

When the baby was dressed as a boy, the people tended to hold the baby away, and show the baby objects. They would talk to the baby about what a strong man he would grow up to be, and mostly talked about things the baby would grow up to do and the baby's career. They also played with the baby, using big motions and moving the baby around.

When the baby was dressed as a girl, the people tended to cradle the baby, and "shield" it from what was going on around. They would talk to the baby mostly about her appearance, pointing out physical features (such as the eyes) and saying how beautiful they were etc. They didn't play with the baby and barely moved her at all.

As I said, she didn't give us a straight answer, but she basically said that the way you're handled as a baby determines how you think, which is how men respond with the left side and women with both.

It's difficult to tell how much of the differences are due to nature and how much to experience. It may be virtually impossible to know. Thanks Rasberry for the info, it was interesting and makes me want to look up more psychology experiments.

Mental delusion.

How romantic!

Being on the football team helps.

Having a bird as a spirit animal.

Beauty is subjective

Quick Q: Ok so having a hairy chest used to be like the thing you needed when it came to getting women but nowadays it's the opposite when it comes to getting girls. I've heard women are still into a bit of hair on a guy's chest but my question is, is that because they were part of that hairy era () or is it just something that girls start looking for when they get older? Kinda like how guys start appreciating bubble butts more and more the older they get.

Originally Posted by GavinGill

Quick Q: Ok so having a hairy chest used to be like the thing you needed when it came to getting women but nowadays it's the opposite when it comes to getting girls. I've heard women are still into a bit of hair on a guy's chest but my question is, is that because they were part of that hairy era () or is it just something that girls start looking for when they get older? Kinda like how guys start appreciating bubble butts more and more the older they get.

You can't really get a general answer to this. Everybody is different. In this case, you're only focusing on very NA centralised culture. Even in Europe we feel very differently about this kind of stuff.

Originally Posted by GavinGill

Quick Q: Ok so having a hairy chest used to be like the thing you needed when it came to getting women but nowadays it's the opposite when it comes to getting girls. I've heard women are still into a bit of hair on a guy's chest but my question is, is that because they were part of that hairy era () or is it just something that girls start looking for when they get older? Kinda like how guys start appreciating bubble butts more and more the older they get.

Hairy chests are revolting to me (21), but maybe I won't mind them when I get older. (I tend to like scrawnier guys without much muscle though so it might just be an extension of that preference.) My boyfriend's sister has said that she used to hate hairy chests and started to like them, when she was in her early 20s I think.

That's what I meant, North American females in general. While we're at it though, I know it isn't as common as it is here but I've always wondered, is being hairless from the neck down seen as unattractive in Europe or does the majority of the populace not seem to care about it as much as NA folk do?

omg we're all brainwashed into whats attractive... I personally don't care that much. I know most girls are super self conscious about how they look and the ones that think they're ugly are super depressed so because of that I try not to judge. I mean you only can do so much with the physical body your given, and I think its whats on the inside that counts.

I think lust is the selfish desire

where as love is a gift to another person in which they give something back to you

I read a study a while ago which confirmed the symmetrical face thing. It's because some people who are more likely to get, or have herpes generally have asymmetrical faces.
And yes, you can tell, even if you don't know it. The human brain is wired to distinguish between human faces, the slightest differences even. So of course it can tell if a face is symmetrical.

Also Freud's theory about being attracted to someone who looks similar to your opposite-sex parent is true.
There was this study with photos of couples and their parents. And people had to choose who the females mother's were and the males fathers. It was a very high percentage (can't remember exactly) who chose the males' partners as the partners' mothers. The same for the reverse.

That's a bit complicated but basically....

Male - Mother
Fucking
Female

People thought the Mother was the females mother because they looked similar.

Of course this is on average and it didn't work out all the time. Same for the symmetry thing.

But it makes sense because if we share half our genes with each of our parents, we will be attracted to similar things as them. Most of the time.

Originally Posted by GavinGill

That's what I meant, North American females in general. While we're at it though, I know it isn't as common as it is here but I've always wondered, is being hairless from the neck down seen as unattractive in Europe or does the majority of the populace not seem to care about it as much as NA folk do?

I'm not a fan of hairy chests. I'm from Britain...

I pretty much agree with everything Dianeva said, and there's six years between our ages. I don't really care about muscle mass, but I prefer the skinny-toned kind of guy over the huge, bodybuilder type. Not a fan of facial hair, chest hair, any kind of hair really. Except on the head, I LOVE a guy with longer, shaggy/messy kind of hair

Eye colour, skin colour, hair colour, doesn't matter. But I don't get in a relationship because of looks. It gets me interested yes, but in the end it comes down to personality. I would much, much rather go for a person with mediocre looks and a great personality over an amazingly hot guy with a shit personality.

I think girls tend to notice all the tiny flaws about themselves that no one else notices/cares about. For example, my stomach, back and arms are ever so slightly more tanned than my face and legs. It's not a big difference, but in the summer when I'm wearing a bikini I go crazy wondering if anyone's noticed. And I don't like fake tan so I don't use it. All my friends just look at me like I'm crazy. It only really changes if I get a tan from the sun, but I prefer being pale.

Everyone sees you differently to how you see yourself. My friends tell me my "waist is tiny" when to me it's average.

I also have really jagged canine teeth. Drives me insane but no one notices or cares.

Even better, what causes deviant attractions

Like me, I'm so far out. Big breasts, holy shit no. Butts? No go away!
Those two pictures on the first page, I honestly can not see what is so "hot" or even pretty about either of them. I think there's even something very masculine about them, somehow...

As everyone already knows, I'm a pedophile, so I like small, rounded faces, completely flat chests and just, well, small bodies. There is absolutely no way to explain that, as there is to normal heterosexuality (The thing that big breasts and butts are a sign that the woman will be good at producing children, which makes sense evolution-wise.)

It's a question I've often wondered, too. Hell, I've kinda been forced to think about it when people ask "How can you be attracted to little girls?!", because truthfully I haven't got a clue, it's just the way they look ...
A lot of pedophiles say it's the "innocence", and I kinda get what they mean. But mostly to me, it's just a thing of the visual. And I really have no idea why or what causes it. Usually I find myself attracted to the face, and the chest, even though there's nothing there. Probably a combination, because I don't find little boys' chests attractive, only girls.

My answer is this: The brain is wired to like different things. Heterosexuality is kind of the default, optimal, the one that gives the results that have made humanity survive. Every once in a while, whatever controls this in the brain fucks up and does something else for some reason, which results in deviant sexualities.

I guess we're programmed to release some weird chemicals when we see specific things, like butts and breasts. And for some reason some of us have had that programming fucked up so we release the chemicals when we see different things...

My guess is that it hasn't developed past a certain stage. Whatever "it" is that tells you who is a prime sexual candidate.

@tommo
I think it's more likely that people tend to be attracted to people who look like themselves, and their parents only by extension of that. The Freud thing doesn't seem to apply to me. I think of my boyfriend and my dad and I just don't see a similarity (or any more similarity that I'd find between any two randomly selected people). and I'm glad because if it was true it would be pretty disturbing. The Freud thing probably seems to make sense because people tend to be attracted to people like themselves, and people's parents are also like themselves. This is all speculation, what it seems to me, I haven't looked into it at all.

It seems almost all girls are attracted to men who are self-confident and a bit cocky or are rich, but I'm very repelled by those qualities. I often get the sense around guys like that that they're trying to manipulate people. I'm more attracted to shy quiet thoughtful guys, but again I think that's because they're qualities I have, that I can relate to. I was once incredibly attracted to a guy who I didn't find physically attractive, a customer while I was working (Tim Hortons), just because he was carrying a fantasy book I'd read and after asking him about it realized we both read fantasy and had read a lot of the same books. Sometimes I'll be a bit attracted to someone simply because he's being nice to me. And still other times I've been attracted to a guy based purely on his appearance. I guess there are many different ways to be attracted.