Thread: What causes physical attraction?

Originally Posted by Dianeva

(Unrelated to above)
I think I have a pretty good idea of what the average guy will find attractive in a girl, what I thought being confirmed by posts on this site, and I'm sad and happy to say that I don't fit the description. But it's alright, I would really rather not be a perfect sweet friendly anime-ish girl with no character flaws nor depth.

But you have boobs, right?

Originally Posted by PhilosopherStoned

But you have boobs, right?

Honestly, what do you expect me to reply to this?

what? the anime-ish type is what the average guy finds attractive? huh...

Originally Posted by dajo

what? the anime-ish type is what the average guy finds attractive? huh...

Friendly, sweet, positive. In anime it seems exaggerated, but something like that. A few people on this thread have given descriptions similar to that while describing their idea of the perfect girl. Maybe I'm wrong, I don't care. Holy crap I just typed a lot of stupid nonsense and have deleted it. I'm too tired for this.

You should realize that there is no average attraction and that tastes, just like looks, are great in variety. If you limit yourself to one "average" and usually media driven ideal, you will never gain the self acceptance and self love that will make you appealing to others in the first place. Regardless of what people write in this thread, I'm sure many give an "ideal" of what they think they find most attractive, but if it comes to actually meeting and falling for a person, a variety of factors play a role that are much more subconscious then anybody realizes. The diverse trend will be increasing the older you get, as people will gain experiences from shallow relationships and mature their own identity independent of their surrounding.

And just to strengthen my point a little and to explain why I picked out the "anime-ish" description in your post, I want to state the following. I am sure that you would find very different consensuses on the perceived attractiveness, if you were to start a survey at: a) a rock concert b) a cultural center/ museum c) a football stadium d) high school and e) an online forum. There are many sub-cultural groups even within ones own nation that define and view beauty very differently. All of them interact daily with each other with their different morals and perceptions. So my point is to throw any "standards" over board and to live by your own.

And one more thing, I hope in time it will make you more happy than sad that you don't seem to fit into the "average description".

Originally Posted by dajo

You should realize that there is no average attraction and that tastes, just like looks, are great in variety. If you limit yourself to one "average" and usually media driven ideal, you will never gain the self acceptance and self love that will make you appealing to others in the first place. Regardless of what people write in this thread, I'm sure many give an "ideal" of what they think they find most attractive, but if it comes to actually meeting and falling for a person, a variety of factors play a role that are much more subconscious then anybody realizes. The diverse trend will be increasing the older you get, as people will gain experiences from shallow relationships and mature their own identity independent of their surrounding.

And just to strengthen my point a little and to explain why I picked out the "anime-ish" description in your post, I want to state the following. I am sure that you would find very different consensuses on the perceived attractiveness, if you were to start a survey at: a) a rock concert b) a cultural center/ museum c) a football stadium d) high school and e) an online forum. There are many sub-cultural groups even within ones own nation that define and view beauty very differently. All of them interact daily with each other with their different morals and perceptions. So my point is to throw any "standards" over board and to live by your own.

And one more thing, I hope in time it will make you more happy than sad that you don't seem to fit into the "average description".

I agree with about everything you've said and I might have given the wrong impression about my mindset. I was tired last night while responding, typed a lot and erased it. It's a fact though that an average preference exists, and it probably is what I described. I was realizing I didn't fit into that description and so there are a lot of guys who probably dislike me. It was bothering me a bit for the first time, usually it wouldn't. Not bothering me because I'm ignorant that there's a variety of guys and that some will have different tastes, I know that. I wouldn't for a moment want to fit into an average description. The opposite, in most cases. If anything, wanting too much to be different is my problem. Again, I'm very tired (wbtb), so don't take what I say too seriously as it doesn't deserve a well thought out response from someone who is thinking clearly.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

I was realizing I didn't fit into that description and so there are a lot of guys who probably dislike me.

I doubt anyone would go as far as to dislike someone because they didn't fit their idea of the perfect man/woman. They might not be asked on a date but that doesn't mean they'll develop a distaste for them or not take kindly to them.

Unless you simply meant "won't like me in that way."