Thread: How intelligent do you think you are?

Originally Posted by Heavy Sleeper

Introversion is often mistaken for shyness. When I was younger, I was very shy. I would only talk to close friends, never ask questions in class and would shake like mad whenever I had to speak publicly. Now that I'm older, my shyness has faded away. I don't have a problem talking to people and I don't think a public speech would bother me much. But I still prefer to spend my time alone rather than with other people. I hate parties and large crowds, and try to avoid them if I can. This isn't because I'm shy, it's because I like solitude. I enjoy the time alone with my thoughts. But other people seem to think I have a problem because I don't go out partying or socializing. Oh well.

This is my exact situation - almost. I do still have some social anxiety around people, but it's nothing compared to what it was when younger and that isn't the main reason that keeps me away. People will label me shy and some, especially my parents, will think there's something wrong with me. I have no desire at all to make friends and regularly hang out with them, but my parents, even though I've told them this, often try to urge me to go to events, join clubs, etc. They obviously view me as pathetic and lonely.

I agree with some other things said, but don't want to look back for the posts to quote. When people started telling me that to be successful I'd have to learn to work well with people and learn to make friends with everyone, I was upset by it and thought I was inferior in some way for not being naturally inclined to do that. Now being successful doesn't matter much to me, or it isn't high on my list of priorities, so it doesn't matter much to me.

And about working in groups. I'm terrible at 'group brainstorming'. I understand why it might be beneficial for some people. If everyone is able to keep a clear head, and no one is very good at thinking on their own, it might work. But when I've been forced to do it, two things have gotten in the way of any real progress. First, I can't think as clearly while around other people, so my ideas aren't as good as they would be on my own. Second, in groups people are less likely to delve very far into any particular insight. While on my own, I might come up with a good idea and continue to think about it, my thoughts branching off if I think it's important enough. But in groups, if I happen to think of an idea that I think is good, and I mention it, people will usually nod along, maybe give 1 or 2 more pieces of input, then someone will go onto something else. The conversation tends to go in the direction that the most social, loud people in the group decide it should go.