Thread: Are you glad that you did/not kill them?

Have you killed someone?

I think you're gonna get a pretty low response level here. And I can only assume you know that.
So just tell us your story.

Ya this hardly seems like a common situation. If you have one then talk about it, all DV will be able to do is discuss it theoretically.

I'm just interested to see if anyone will respond. It's a given that out of the number of people at DV, some few have had to kill or been in a position where they justifiably could have killed another person. A slightly greater number will have been in circumstances where they seriously considered killing, whether or not it would have been legally justifiable.

If they don't want to talk about it, no worries.

Mine has been posted before, and I think published somewhere, though right now I can't recall for sure:

Spoiler for Release:

Thirty gallons of dirty fuel-oil killed his furnace
before we arrived; we stayed three years,
my mother and I, everything breaking and nothing fixed.

Twelve is old enough to tend a trash-fire, he said; I found
a coffee can and a use for soiled fuel.
Often as not, a poorly timed release left me stomping

infant grassfires. When summer passed, he dragged
in a wood-burning stove, knocked out
a pane for the pipe. We had a black rod to stir the fire.

Cast iron, four feet long and heavy; this is what I did not use
to kill him. He was sober, I think, my mother’s
feet in his lap. She was sleeping. He was trying

to connect, saying all the things he thought
a boy or man my age must think. His expression
was idiot mean, like I had only seen on children.

I would not respond, and he turned on her, tickling
a foot—not playful but mean, desperate. My mother
startled, woke the only way she could,

body-first and flailing. One blind hand
connected and he hollered. He punched her. One. Two.
Three times, stood, lifted, dropped her. Stooped, and threw her

to the couch again. He backed off, red
with bull-nostrils. I was close: two steps a batting stance—
would it be over? I half stood, hovered. He didn’t know,

or took his chances. I knew clearly then that he would
kill us, sometime. He would feel okay,
find reasons why he’d had to do it. Right now, blood settling,

he was deciding why it was her fault. I remembered
the conversation that night, his look
like a beaten child past crying. Crouched, reaching,

I had no idea suddenly what was killing,
dying. What would live?

I've never been in a situation like that where I was seriously faced with the choice of killing someone, but I sometimes think of what my plan would be if I ever was going to kill someone :/

In my opinion there isn't an actual "choice".

Of course, the choice is there... but in reality, to me it comes down to necessity. If there is any doubt in my mind about having to kill a person, odds are I don't have to. The circumstances essentially choose for you. There would be exceptions, but very few. I don't see it as a choice, I don't see it as a decision. Either you have to, or don't have to, in my experiences.

To kill or not to kill. To me it isn't a choice I made. It's a an action that I had to take. If I had a 'choice', I wouldn't have done it. It's a simple as that.

No need to be cryptic guys.