*Warning: Massive Wall of Text Ahead*
Originally Posted by Omnis Dei
Words have power, and I'm not claiming they don't. I'm suggesting that the only way to overcome that power is through self-resolve, it cannot come by changing the way society works and demonizing anyone for showing a different opinion, apathetic or not.
I do agree with you, on that, to a point, but as I said, there is a bit of responsibility placed on the person who decides to use such insulting words and concepts. Word associations are very real things, and whether or not you have your 'own' meanings for certain words (and as I said, these 'evolved' meanings aren't universally spread to everyone at once), you can't be completely ignorant of where these words came from. In the end, you are still saying "I don't care what kind of battles you've had with this word, in the past, I'm still going to use it to describe [X], so get over it."
Originally Posted by Omnis Dei
Honestly, your point would hold much more validity to me if you made it in my first thread about political correctness. Unfortunately you can't because it was deleted. Now that I've risked being banned in order to get this point across I have a hard time seeing this issue as apathetic people not worrying about who they offend. I see it as a free speech issue. I think society needs to desensitize itself and remove these stigmas as much as possible, and fight the real issue. Banning the word fag does not stop kids from going out and beating gays to death. The real issue we should be fighting is harassment.
Well, I'm not sure how the change from being in your last thread, to being in this one, can change one's logic as such. You either see the argument for its merit, or you don't, IMHO. But, I can see where you're coming from. You are fighting against oppression of free speech (and most people do), but you have to understand that running adjacent to 'Free Speech' is a little something called 'common respect'. You're looking at the issue of PC as an offensive force that is actively stifling your freedom to say whatever you want, but there is another side to it. You also have a humanistic responsibility to assess the full weight of the words you use, and how they affect people. You know that stigmas don't just go away with the acceptance of a word. How many black people, who call themselves 'niggas', even now, are going to let you call them a nigger? How many fat people are going to just 'be ok' with you telling a volley of fat-jokes to a classroom of their peers, even if you expressly state that you aren't talking about them?
Stigmas are both born (and die out) with the perception of how society, at large treat the issue. Going back to the 'nigger' thing: In my experience, most people that want to throw around the word, and rant about how blacks are overly-sensitive about issues of race, seem completely oblivious to the level of racism that still exists in this country. It's like they feel that it was something that was stamped out with segregation. Usually, they seem completely out of touch with reality, and want to induct a very powerful word into their vocabulary, simply because 'it's a free country, and people should just 'get over' the 'past' issue of racism/prejudice.' As long as people can walk down the street and get called 'fatty', or 'blob' or 'faggot' or 'fucking homo' or whatever - with malice - then they aren't going to just be easy-breezy, when they walk into the store, and you're telling indirect fat jokes, or saying that your friend, who's being an idiot, is being 'fucking gay', or when your friend hugs you and you say 'get off of me you fucking homo,' even in jest.
You know this. You know that it is a sore issue with many people. That's why the words have become popular buzzwords, it is exactly because of the weight that they carry. With freedom of speech comes the responsibility to monitor what you say, yourself, or not whine about the consequences, even if you feel that they were excessive. You can walk up to some grown man and passively tell him about the dirty things you would like to do with his daughter. It's a free country, right? But no one is going to have sympathy for you, when you get punched in the face.
Originally Posted by Omnis Dei
I don't think someone's life story is required to understand their context, the tone of voice is enough. To me, the only wrong way to use a word is against someone else (whether to their face or behind their backs). When you use you word to hurt people, it's pretty obvious. I'm sure the girl in the video was a part of it because she was called retard and harassed herself. I'm sure many of the people behind the R word campaign or relatives of mentally disabled and have the same opinion as you, people don't understand the hurt they're causing because they're not in the right shoes. This is true. But the villain is not ignorant use of a word, it's ignorance of other people's feelings in general.
Let me skip forward and throw one of Replicon's posts in here, to kind of make a point:
Originally Posted by Replicon
Just to be really clear, I'm very mindful of the "nigger" thing, and I never really use it in public. Partly because I know it has power to some people, and partly because I don't have the time or the desire to have this very conversation with every person I run into haha, but mainly because there's just no practical reason to, so I never got started.
Here, Replicon acknowledges that - even though he doesn't agree with there being a reason for it - he understands that there is often some level of further communication needed, for people to truly understand the context of a word that has been said. Not to put words in Replicon's mouth, but I don't think tone of voice is always sufficient, in the same way that sarcasm isn't always detectable.
Originally Posted by Omnis Dei
Using a word in proper context only offends the people that, as other posters have said, are addicted to the victim game.
Again, I don't believe this to be true, and I think it's a pretty cold indifference toward people whom have legitimate aversions to those words. You are completely downplaying the role of psychology, in how people react to things, and looking at it from a purely 'logical' (though apathetic), outsider's perspective. If someone grows up in a house where they watch their mother get brutally beaten by their father, on a constant basis, how do you think they will react, once they've grown into young adulthood, and come into a new job or something, where the type of humor tossed around the office are pics Like This One?
Do you think that person should just 'stfu and get over' the fact that their co-wokers are making jokes of something that had literally crippled their child-hood, because it's now an acceptable meme in society? Do you think that person's getting upset about memories of that lifestyle being driven to the surface, by people who obviously couldn't be more indifferent to the issue, is a case of that person just being 'addicted to the victim game'? I'm sorry, but I think that's a pretty heartless assessment of a very real problem that plagues many, many people.
Originally Posted by Thatperson
I think though that there is a difference though between nigger/fag whatever and disabled. Political correctness also extendeds far beyond terminology. It's an errosion of free speech in debate. It's about when certain topics are out of bounds incase they offend anyone. Immigration used to be one although finally thats almost back to something which is OK to talk about. To even say the words black and crime in the same sentance will get someone labelled as a 'racist' and possibly removed from public office. I think Enoch Powells rivers of blood speech, and his removal from the shadow cabinet was one of the most famous early incidents.
This is where PC proves itself to be completely arbitrary, which is where most people have their problems with PC, and I agree. There are some levels of it that are a bit ridiculous, even by my standards (as someone who believes very highly in respect). I know that [I think it's Replicon] addresses the whole 'black vs. african american' thing, so I'll touch on that, when I get down to it.
Originally Posted by tommo
That's the problem. People don't even think of these words as having their actual meaning. Retarded means stopped, or slowed down.
Nigger is a bit different, at least afaik, coz it was originally used as an offensive term for black people. No one called black people niggers to say they were black, I mean.
I understand how it could become offensive if people just always referred to you as "retard".
Like "Have you seen -name- today?"
"Who!?"
"You know, the retard".
That could get offensive for sure. Because you're basically being constantly defined by one aspect of yourself.
It would be slightly better to say "You know, the retarded guy".
This is exactly how I feel about the 'retarded' issue (and, yes, 'nigger' is definitely different, for the reason you stated). Again, it's much more in how it's said, than the word itself, though this is not always clearly conveyed from the person saying it, nor perceived by the person listening. When you call someone 'that retard', you are not just 'not being PC'. You are basically reducing that person's identity to a label of practical invalidity - as if he is less than human (which, as I believe Darkmatters stated, is different from just using the word 'retarded', in a clinical context). Again, it goes back to understanding the power behind the words, and actually taking care in how you use it - which, some people (let's face it) are just completely unwilling to do. In such cases, yes, ignorant use of the word is the villain.
Originally Posted by Darkmatters
I must say though, I never understood how it could be helpful for people to use the slang terms they deny others the use of though, like for instance ghetto youth and black comedians constantly calling each other the N word (yep, I don't like to say it) - until Omnis explained it above. Now I get it.
Omnis, or me?
Originally Posted by Replicon
Not really. I've argued that getting offended is a choice that falls into the court of the person hearing said words, and any "right" should not be coupled with potential offendedness to the word.
And I argue that getting offended is not usually a choice. It is a knee-jerk reaction to a perceived threat, implied disapproval of oneself or alienation. Does a cat choose for its hair to stand on end, when it perceives a dangerous or hostile environment? Does a martial artist wait to get punched in the face, before choosing to prepare attack a perceived threat? No. It is automatic. That is how 'offense' works. The thought process of someone who has to deal with these 'ambiguously offensive' words (from my own experience) is usually: "So this is that person's level of humor? I wonder how deep it goes? Do they really think of [X] as a negative? Is that why they are using it in such a derogatory way? What do they really think about [X]?" I do not choose for all of these questions and assessments of my environment to come into my head. It just happens. It is a defense mechanism, and it is one that has helped prepare my wits, in case some prejudicial conflict does come my way.
And it's even worse, when you are the only [X] in the area. When you walk into a place and people are making under-handed jokes about 'your kind', even when they're assigning the word to something unrelated to you, the 'alarm' will go off, inside you. That is not a 'choice'. The reason for it is because, many times when you hear those types of jokes/labels/etc, they are by people who generally do not like (or couldn't care less for) the type of people whose 'labels' they are using. (Fags/niggers/jews/fatties/'white boys'/etc.)
That is not to say that everyone who uses such biting language feels that way, but the truth of the matter is that people who often hear the words have to deal with people who do think like that, with a frequency that others couldn't even comprehend, so when they encounter the few who use the words with no malice intended, you can't just expect for them to not be bothered with it. That is simply a selfish and unrealistic expectation.
Originally Posted by Replicon
Like if I say "shit!" as an angry reaction to something, it's different than when I say "this shit's good!" when I enjoy good food. Of course, they don't HAVE to get over it. They can choose to feel miserable for no good reason. Just don't blame me for the bad emotions you've created for yourself, ya know?
Not the same, I'm afraid. Saying "this shit's good" is an overt compliment. It says it right there, in the statement. It's "good." Now when a gay man walks down the street and two buddies are goofing around with each other saying "get off of me, you fucking fag", even if they don't know the man walking passed them is gay, the connotation is that there is something wrong with being a 'fag.' There is no redeeming compliment, there. There is no positive spin. It's an insult, plain and simple.
Originally Posted by Replicon
Indeed, I am aware. But there ARE fatties - LOTS of them - who fall into the other category (I'd say it's pretty likely to be _most_ of them - I don't think the "fat disorder" you refer to favours Mississippi, cause it has friends in the area). I was just making an analogy to the lazy ones specifically, and I was hoping that would have been clearer. But just in case, here it is, spelled out.
Ok. Understood. My point is that people don't usually make a distinction between the two, when they are tossing the derogatory terms around, and I stand by that point. And someone in the room who suffers from said affliction is - by nature - likely to become offended without further context.
Originally Posted by Replicon
You know, semantics aside, I think you and I are really more on the same page here than it seems. There's really two sub-themes going on in this thread. One is the deliberate use of words that have, over history, picked up connotations that are very easy for some people to drag in, and so when they hear the word, it's an anchor that affects their emotional states in some way (and while I don't mean to cheapen the past, those anchors aren't that difficult to nuke).
I agree with some of what you said, however, where we lose each other is when you use words like 'anchors' and 'past', as if peoples' aversions to these words rest solely in the past. It goes back to what I just said about people being oblivious to the fact that these words are still used - in their most sadistic forms - often. I could see your point, if using 'nigger/fag/jew/retard/etc' as insults was a dead language, and people were just holding onto remnants of a past era, but that is not the case, whatsoever.
Originally Posted by Replicon
I'd actually really like to hear your take on the whole "african american" vs. "black" thing, since it's a bit more relevant to language in the present time (really, with "nigger/nigga" I think the Chris Rock explanation is pretty universally-understood).
It may be understood (and hilarious), but definitely not universal (in the sense that everyone pretty much follows it), and the 'unwritten rule' that Chris talks about (I love that bit, btw) is actually a matter of contention with many white people who - maybe unlike those of you in this thread - feel that they should be able to say the 'N' word, in any of its forms.
About the 'black / African American' thing: To me, this is one of those PC issues that falls into the category of 'who the fuck cares?' I've never opted to be called African American. It makes as little sense to me as calling someone a European American. At this point, it's simply unnecessary, and usually just plain incorrect.
HOWEVER, at a time, it was completely understandable. Blacks weren't seen as Americans. They were barely seen as humans. So as a matter of civil rights, and changing the perception of the black race in America, the term African American was impossed as a reminder to people of the time that "Hey, we are American Citizens, just like you." While I feel that blacks have come a long way in establishing our place as Americans, there are still plenty of injustices perceived by the 'We are African American' generation, and so they hang on to the term as a moniker of validation. Personally, I don't blame them. It's not something that I ascribe to, because I wasn't born in that era. And if the inequalities that still exist within the system (and they are still there, whether people decide to acknowledge them or not) were completely and totally dissolved, I'm sure the need to hold onto that label would fade away.
Although, even though people may not understand or agree with the preference that some people have to be labeled as 'African American', instead of the often-derogatory label of 'black', I don't think it's right to criticize them for it. However, I do believe that many blacks take the issue overboard, by indicating people who don't call them "AA" are 'racist.' But, really, how many people of our generation (or even the older generation) do you actually see/hear doing this?
Not many, really. It's more prominent in hearsay, than it is in practice, I think.
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