I've been thinking lately about sociopathy and brain chemistry. Many who I share my true feelings with (pretty much entirely through the internet) would agree with my belief that I am a sociopath, or sociopathic to a degree beyond what you would typically see in a person. I lack emotional connection with others (seemingly through inability), I use the people I know, I lie to the point that I don't even consider what I'm doing lying anymore (it's almost like a game)--though I do have the capacity for honesty, and I only feel remorse about something if I have caused myself pain or loss in some way by mistake. On forums other than this one, I often troll others as a source of entertainment, though it usually goes much deeper than what you'd see of your typical internet troll. I've been a long time member of a few particular forums, and I will go as far as to specifically befriend some and make enemies with others to see just how far I can take it, just how much of a reaction I can get out of people. I have an accomplice of sorts that belongs to these same forums and we work very well together. We work together, but often act as enemies or friends in public or even in private with others depending on which is more useful in getting the biggest reaction. This is a hobby of mine that usually takes up the rest of the time between using drugs or playing video games.

What I want to know is how exactly is the brain chemistry of a sociopath different than that of a normal person? I've read all kinds of things about the prefrontal cortex, etc., but personally in my experience with drugs I've narrowed it down to mostly one neurotransmitter. Drugs which elicit serotonergic responses or act as serotonin receptor agonists are the only ones I've taken that ever make me feel "human". Amphetamines, when I used to actually get a high serotonergic response, caused it. MDMA to an extent, though what I got wasn't very good, so I can't accurately judge. Lastly is psychedelics, which nearly make me feel completely "normal" and even caring of others. I've only had the great fortune of using LSD and psilocybin, however. Both of these made me feel like I actually had real emotions for once in my life. When I was happy, I was truly happy (not like the indifferent and not sad, mad, or any other emotion feeling that I usually call "happy"); when I was feeling any emotion, I really felt it. I found myself actually very caring of others, simply because caring felt so good. I felt what I can only describe as love towards others. Normally I view the world from my own standpoint. I realize others care for and love each other, but somehow the fact that I am the way I am makes me assume everyone is like me (likely a protection mechanism, I think--I do not like being unknowingly manipulated and as a result have a very keen sense of whether I am or not). My view of the world, as you could probably guess, is very pessimistic. But on psychedelics I feel like the world is the place it's meant to be, the way it's described in stories or by others. Love actually exists, and those around me are good people, with good intentions, and do the right thing without an ulterior motive.

So the real question, I guess, is a chemical imbalance of brain serotonin largely responsible for sociopathy? Or is what I experience by drugs merely a sort of psychosis of which I am suffering temporarily? The prefrontal cortex also relies heavily on dopamine, but I don't have much trouble controlling my impulses or planning ahead. In fact I've grown very good at it. I am not a neuroscientist and without tools to test my hypotheses I can't ever truly say, but I would attribute the affliction more to a serotonin deficiency than that of a dopamine deficiency. Thoughts, theories, comments, or questions? Someone with more knowledge on the subject sharing research or articles would be appreciated.