Thread: Crappyest break up letter EVER!

So how old is the "emofuck"?
You should right a funny letter back.

My letter:

Dear Stinky Poophead;

You are a bitch. Bitch, bitch, bitch. I don't like you you stinky poop bitch!

I hate you,
-John

How old are you?

Originally Posted by Reality_is_a_Dream

I'm in fucking 9th Grade!!! And she want's me to say "I Love You"?

Wait till I'm 27... or really drunk.

I'm SO glad you let us know that! Hun, you're a kid! Live your life! If you were my son, I wouldn't even want you to be dating a girl who expects so much of you at such a young age. Honestly, that sort of thing is not good at any age. Relationships should not be controlled by the whims and expectations of society (in your case, peers). I get the feeling that if you truly felt that you loved her, you'd've at least tried to tell her. It's seems you were probably trying to form a deeper connection with her but it hadn't happened yet. Am I right?

I know others may think that I'm being presumptuous given that I don't know all of her story. To me, your (presumed) age says it all and it's enough of a reason to run screaming from girls like that. You're just too young to have this kind of drama. Follow your heart. If this makes others turn their back on you, that's how you know who's truly on your side.

Be good to others but always look out for #1.

Originally Posted by theyearthreethousand

How old are you?

Check his profile, it says 16.

Also, that letter wasn't very nice. :\
I agree with Brainchild.

Originally Posted by theyearthreethousand

How old are you?

Are you talking about the letter I wrote? I was kidding...

But she is a stinky poop bitch...

Is this DV or a grade 6 class note passing database?

Originally Posted by Reality_is_a_Dream

This is what I got today. Note the only thing I did "wrong" was treat her like a friend, got a girlfriend.

Outside: Dear John:

Inside:
Dear Benjamin, (Who probably doesn’t have the balls to read this whole letter)

If you are reading this, it is over between us. Why? Because you are an insensitive assfuck, to put it kindly. I am trying to be civil, though I don’t see why I should. At first, I thought we could make this work, but one-sided relationships hurt. Really bad. If you didn’t want to go out with me, why say yes? Dod you do it to make me feel better? Well, congratulations, you failed. Honestly, you emofuck. I’m glad I’m breaking up with you, because you don’t deserve a girlfriend. I hope you read this whole letter, just so you know what an asshole you are! I mean, we went out for 6 months and you couldn‘t even tell me you loved me! Meg and Kyle have been going out for a month and he treats her like a princess! You, on the other hand, treated me like shit. You know, I declined going out with *****, who treated me like he should, because I was praying that you’d treat me better… like something more than a friend. But of course, you never did. I wish I could see your reaction to this letter, but it would mean looking at yout ugly face. Well, goodbye, for good. Your ex-girlfriend, ****

PS: If you don’t get why I wrote “Dear John”, you’re even dumber than I thought.


Anyone esle think this bitch is.. well.. a bitch?

Lol. Is she trying to call you emo? Sounds like she's a hypocrite. She sounds like the kind of girl that you break up with and she still tries to keep tabs on you.

I was just interested in your age in relation to your problems. my only advice is to stay positive and to do the things that make you happy as often as possible. it's not cool to be depressed. when i was 16 i basically didn't have a care in the world...

Oh. I really don't care, I'm not depressed about this.

Originally Posted by Reality_is_a_Dream

My letter:

Dear Stinky Poophead;

You are a bitch. Bitch, bitch, bitch. I don't like you you stinky poop bitch!

I hate you,
-John

What the hell...Ha.
You tell her.."John.."

lol, should I really give her a letter like that? And WHAT THE FUCK IS JOHN???

You should...
And dear John letters are brake up letters.

Are you sure you're not depressed, because I just read "Am I really wrong?".

I said I was not depressed about that.

Originally Posted by Reality_is_a_Dream

lol, should I really give her a letter like that? And WHAT THE FUCK IS JOHN???

You should write a letter telling her to grow up.

I got an idea! Let's have a contest!
Who ever posts the best letter I should give to her wins!

Hey My X girlfriend..Grow up emowhore.
Love,"John."

lol. Any others?

Dear Jane,

Hey harlot, "John" here. I just figured I'd write this letter to you to let you know a few things. Yes, I know I never said I love you, and I'm sorry for that, SIKE! But seriously, I don't tell people I love them when I don't. Moreover, please refrain from calling me emo when you send me a letter that reeks of your emotional stench. If you were trying to bring me down with that letter, you failed horribly. Also, I hope you didn't cry and eat your way through too many tubs of ice cream while watching The Notebook a few times while you wrote that letter to me. You're a silly bitch and you should really grow up. Quit sucking the tit and realize you don't get everything the way you want it in life.

Later bitch,
"John"

Originally Posted by Reality_is_a_Dream

lol. Any others?

Hey Sweetie,

Have fun getting your head shrunk for the next 30 years.

Sip bile,
"John"



But for real, you're young and she's young. Just let her be (she may be crazy, lol). That'll ruffle her feathers enough AND it'll keep your stress level low.

Er yeah, skipped reading page 2 there. Confuzzelled me?

I think you're both losers. She calls you ridiculous names, you post it on the internet.

I can understand her wanting to feel like she had a boyfriend rather than a friend. She's probably just a little more mature in terms of relationships than you are. If you don't want to have an actual girlfriend, don't ask girls out yet.

She asked me out. And I posted it because I thought it was comic.

Hmm I dunno I'd rather not:

a) tell a guy I love him if we've only been together for 6 months and he isn't my ideal boyfriend (sounds like she needs to be doted up frequenly, very needy and you couldn't or wouldn't do that for her, so it makes it weird that she tells you she loves you)

b) want a guy to tell me he loves me if he doesn't really. That for some stupid reason takes a relationship to a whole new level, but I wouldn't want the relationship to go there like that if it was all based on LIES.

So actually you were right, and out of respect for her emotions you didn't lie about loving her, and it's a good thing you didn't love her (hopefully you don't, especially if you never told her and that's why you broke up) because it turns out she's the fucked up one, falling so deeply in love with someone and then pulling a complete 180

So yea, actually she's the stupid "emofuck" (whatever that may be) in this situation, imo.