What you're saying sounds pretty familiar. Have you thought about integrating reality-checks into your lucid dreaming? They can help with this, in my experience. I used to realise I was dreaming quite often, but it was only after pausing to test reality and confirm it for sure that it really seemed to set in for me. There's something about taking time out to perform an action that directly queries the dream-world that seems to make things more clear. I favour the finger-counting check myself.