Hope this isn't a stupid question, maybe someone can relate. I have never had my first lucid dream yet, as I find awareness absolutely impossible to adhere to.

But I wonder if that's not all. I think a small part of me is afraid of just what that first moment of lucidity would look like. Here's the real problem.
I can't quite accept the fact that lucidity is possible for me. I think about this incredible, limitless dreamworld. How I can do what I want, possibly talk to the subconscious, and just explore.

A world with no consequences? It just seems too good to be true. I don't know how I can convince myself that I can lucid dream, and that it really isn't too good to be true, that I deserve that first glimpse of lucidity. Mantras for confidence?

In short, I can't imagine getting my first lucid dream until I'm able to accept the fact that lucid dreaming is achievable and that I deserve it.

Can anyone relate to this? Also, every technique just seems so difficult. Daytime awareness seems to be the most direct route to lucidity, but it is so hard to maintain.

I like the idea of autosuggestion before bed, but I can't seem to focus or have enough confidence that it'll work.

Thanks in advance for any responses.