Whould it be possible to find the girl of your dreams?

[phonix]

I actually wanna try this when I dream. I feel really lonely at school. Nearly every girl thinks I'm like shit because, of things which have happened in the past and I'm damn well fed up with it. I really want to find someone who loves me for who I am. I think that lucid dreaming might be close enough to achieveing this. I just hope that it doesn't sound like I'm a saddo cos I'm not!

[nina]

So you want to have a relationship with a girl...in your dreams?

[phonix]

Yh, do you think it would work?

[nina]

I don't know. Dreams are dreams. They are not reality. Sure you can try to LD about the same girl every night, but I don't see how this is any different than having an imaginary friend.

[phonix]

its not. But it would just have to do for the time being, at least until I get outta this school.

[ChrissyMaria]

if your talking about having a relationship with a dream girl then well, i suggest you find a real girl no offense cause its MUCH more healthy mentally to have a relationship with something that is real and not imagined everyone has trouble with the opposite sex, know how many girls say their gonna quit guys? know how many guys say the same thing about girls? they always go back lol anyways how old are you? if your under 18 then don't worry too much about getting a girlfriend, enjoy yourself, go out with friends and youll eventually meet a nice girl, good luck believe me im not DISCOURAGING LD sex or w/e but im just saying, dont RELY entirely on a dream girl, you could get so attached you wouldnt want a real girl, heres my example if you replace real women with dream women and you prefer dream women, then you will ignore real women, when in reality, you should ignore the dream girl and take the real thing

[phonix]

I'm 15. Your right, I just feel lonely but, it should work for now right?

[ChrissyMaria]

yea just, take my advice, dont get attached, cause dream girls i assume are everything and anything you want them to be, they are perfect, but in reality, no such girl is perfect there may be a girl who is PERFECT for YOU but not perfect in the sense of actual perfection, just YOUR vision of perfection, you know what i mean? like for me, a PERFECT girl would be a terrible girl for someone else who has different interests and tastes

[phonix]

WTF???? Speaking in circles lol. Look all I'm saying is to try it out. Oh, what if I asked her how I can be a better person to attract girls or what my furture will be like?

[ChrissyMaria]

WTF???? Speaking in circles lol. Look all I'm saying is to try it out. Oh, what if I asked her how I can be a better person to attract girls or what my furture will be like? the thing is, in lucid dreams from what ive read, ive never had 1 yet, is composed of all your collective thoughts and conciousness and experiences you cannot ask an imaginary girl which you thought up the answers to a question you do not know the answer to its like asking yourself a question you dont know the answer to, and expecting the correct answer, you cannot find the answers in dreams, you must experience the answer in reality. anyways good luck, i wish i could LD altogether let alone about a girl lol

[phonix]

I heard the that you can. Lds can tell you answers about yourself, you just have to understand the message. Anyway I'm gonna try it now. Good luck with LDing.

[ChrissyMaria]

yea, luck is what i need just right now, i cant even dream sometimes! good luck to you too

[Barns]

the thing is, in lucid dreams from what ive read, ive never had 1 yet, is composed of all your collective thoughts and conciousness and experiences you cannot ask an imaginary girl which you thought up the answers to a question you do not know the answer to its like asking yourself a question you dont know the answer to, and expecting the correct answer, you cannot find the answers in dreams, you must experience the answer in reality. anyways good luck, i wish i could LD altogether let alone about a girl lol What you are saying is true in one way, however, dreams can bring forth answers from your subconciousness, things you did not know you knew.

[ChrissyMaria]

What you are saying is true in one way, however, dreams can bring forth answers from your subconciousness, things you did not know you knew. well thats good to know, thanks for the heads up

[Bonsay]

Lol I just remembered my attempt... she first got kidnapped by a local church and once I rescued her she melted away. I haven't seen her since. I guess it just wan't meant to be. It's funny how you can actually fall in love with a dream girl. Not saying that you shouldn't try, go ahead if you want to. Personally I think there are better things to do.

[rookybeats]

Falling in love in dreams.. I do not recommend it unless you are sure you'll see her again

[MrDamon]

Phonix, If I had have known when I was 15, how things were gonna be in ten years time, I wouldn't have worried the way I did and did the things I did but looking back I gotta say, it's been a very interesting ride and I'm so glad I had different experiences from what the "cool" kids had because it has made me into a much more independant and respectful man than what my peers became.. Being that you are slightly outcast can be used to your advantage.. Because the eyes are on you and word gets around and as one of the guys above said (what's perfect for one can be terrible for another).. But this works both ways.. Whats terrible for one is perfect for another.. It doesnt necessarily matter what it was you did. There is usually someone out there who will perceive this in a different way from the rest of the people and before you know it, you two 'will' meet and with luck you'll experience a deeper type of relationship than what the norm do.. You say this is something that is present in school.. Well, I have some homework for you.. Be bold, if you truly want to incorporate your dreams to aid the situation then practice being valiant but casual in the face of the enemy and go into school with your head high and find reasons to smile.. I tell no lie when I say a smile goes a long way regardless of whether people think your shit or not.. A smile shows warmth and bravery and usually makes people look better If you're not up to facing the masses then start doing new things 'outside of school'.. Ya know, go to a library once a week for a half hour or an hour, visit a street sale or yard sale that you normally wouldnt have gone to.. Bring the dog for a walk more often to places where other people bring their dogs for a walk.. And why all this you ask..? Well, where else are you gonna possibly meet a girl who doesnt know about your school history..? Trust me, doing one or 2 new things a week can often lead to new relationships, be they romantic, or not.. Good luck and keep us posted.. .

[Moonbeam]

Phonix, I have never had much luck with finding the same DC twice in a row in my lucids, much less developing a relationship with one. Really I can't even hardly go to the same place twice, even places that seem familiar, and a DC would be much more complex than a location. So I think it would be very hard to maintain a DC like that. I don't know if other people have managed to do it or not.

[Abra]

@Moonbeam: My situation is the opposite! I often see the same dream characters if I expect or plan to see them, but the location most often changes! Anyway, I think it's possible to have a girl like that, even as intelligent as you! It takes practice, though. Practice conversations first. Talk with some dream characters for a few minutes per lucid, and see how much you can remember. Then practice summoning (if I've seen the person/creature in a dream before, I find it helpful to create an actual image of it, by either drawing or photoshop). As for the mental effects, there are positives and negatives. On one hand, you'll be more confident with your social life, less dependent on others for happiness, and your self esteem should raise. On the other hand, make sure to assure yourself that dating someone in real life does not equate to cheating on this dream character, or vice versa. If it bothers you to date a dream character at the same time as a real girl, I'd say to "take a break" from the dream girl--she will understand.

[Moonbeam]

@Moonbeam: My situation is the opposite! I often see the same dream characters if I expect or plan to see them, but the location most often changes! I thought some people might be able to do that. Are they people you know IRL, or pure DC's?

[Abra]

I thought some people might be able to do that. Are they people you know IRL, or pure DC's? Both. Some dream characters took effort to reliably stabilize (in some of my earlier lucids, they'd morph into more familiar people or animals, and even now some aspects, such as clothing or hairstyle will differ), while others would reappear on their own.

[imj]

I actually wanna try this when I dream. I feel really lonely at school. Nearly every girl thinks I'm like shit because, of things which have happened in the past and I'm damn well fed up with it. I really want to find someone who loves me for who I am. I think that lucid dreaming might be close enough to achieveing this. I just hope that it doesn't sound like I'm a saddo cos I'm not! Saddo? That's what I mean about people who persue lucid dreaming...they think they are being pathetic by persuing something that's not real. U should change Ur attitude about it or it may become a limiting factor to what U want to achieve. Since U already have a purpose for becoming lucid in the dream....it should be successful for U because it will help greatly if U have an ultimate goal for using it, means U can't simply give up without putting up a fight to achieve what U want.... IMJ

[Elwood]

BIG HINT(literately) WHILE YOUR DREAMING DON'T REPLACE AN ACTUAL GIRL YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE WITH YOUR IDEA OF WHO THEY REALLY ARE... I've done this and am currently trying to recover from some personal issues . But I do think it's possible to find someone you love from a dream in real life. AND having a Lucid dream girlfriend is unhealthy, because in your waking life you will feel an emptiness every day that you cant fill. It feels like your just out of reach of the person you love and you cant hold them in your arms. (0r other things jk)

[Josue]

Just wanted to add a bit to what Elwood said. I'm not much of an LDer yet, but I am a fairly experienced psychonaut and from the things that I've learned through that in conjunction w/ RL, I would have to definitely warn against trying to sustain a relationship with someone that you created for yourself, unless you're familiar enough with real people to give her plenty of defects. Otherwise, you'll find that no girl IRL will ever possibly measure up to the standards of that perfect dream girl of yours and live in a state of perpetual disappointment with your RL relationships. Which, of course = mucho no bueno.

[phonix]

Phonix, If I had have known when I was 15, how things were gonna be in ten years time, I wouldn't have worried the way I did and did the things I did but looking back I gotta say, it's been a very interesting ride and I'm so glad I had different experiences from what the "cool" kids had because it has made me into a much more independant and respectful man than what my peers became.. Being that you are slightly outcast can be used to your advantage.. Because the eyes are on you and word gets around and as one of the guys above said (what's perfect for one can be terrible for another).. But this works both ways.. Whats terrible for one is perfect for another.. It doesnt necessarily matter what it was you did. There is usually someone out there who will perceive this in a different way from the rest of the people and before you know it, you two 'will' meet and with luck you'll experience a deeper type of relationship than what the norm do.. You say this is something that is present in school.. Well, I have some homework for you.. Be bold, if you truly want to incorporate your dreams to aid the situation then practice being valiant but casual in the face of the enemy and go into school with your head high and find reasons to smile.. I tell no lie when I say a smile goes a long way regardless of whether people think your shit or not.. A smile shows warmth and bravery and usually makes people look better If you're not up to facing the masses then start doing new things 'outside of school'.. Ya know, go to a library once a week for a half hour or an hour, visit a street sale or yard sale that you normally wouldnt have gone to.. Bring the dog for a walk more often to places where other people bring their dogs for a walk.. And why all this you ask..? Well, where else are you gonna possibly meet a girl who doesnt know about your school history..? Trust me, doing one or 2 new things a week can often lead to new relationships, be they romantic, or not.. Good luck and keep us posted.. . Thank you very much for that, its a nice twist in the tale for me I'm stuck halfway because of comments, true it would effect me and not be able to fill an empty space, and yes girls in IRL would NEVER be the same. Maybe its too risky, maybe its not... I still WANT to do this. Even if I don't take it seriously. I want to get some xp so when I do have a real girlfriend I'll be more confident. But thx for all your replys and I will keep you all updated as soon as I end this damn dry spell.