This is my first post on here so hey-hey everyone. (:
This is a little long-winded though, sorry. ):

But anyways okay...so I am aware that in order to induce a pleasant lucid dream, one must first enter sleep paralysis, i.e. "mind awake, body asleep". But the thing is, I suffer from sleep paralysis and have done since I was very young..
For me, the paralysis is accompanied with horrific hallucinations and screaming in my head. I hear people laughing maniacally and kids crying and stuff. It's very frightening.
I literally have to fight with my body to regain mobility. If I fail to regain mobility, I slip into a vivid lucid dream, but I mean...they're disturbing. A lucid dream to me means a terrifying nightmare. I woke up once (at least I thought I was awake..) and went to the kitchen to get some water, only to discover my family skinned and battered, hanging from meat-hooks attached to the ceiling. These are the kinda lucid dreams I have.
I've even been to the doctor about it on serveral occasions 'cause it's severly disrupting my daily life due to the fact I can't sleep at night.
I go to bed at night praying I don't lucid dream or enter paralysis.
But, reading through posts on here I've come across other people's accounts of their lucid dreams and they sound amazing!
So....what's going on??
If anybody has any insight into this, I would be extremely grateful as this is a really big problem. Bed-time is, and always has been, a scary prospect for me.. ):