Hi Pell, welcome to Dreamviews!

Lucids (DILDs in particular) often start off with the person suddenly realizing they're dreaming. There isn't always a cause; in fact, the majority of my own lucids come about from me just standing there, and suddenly becoming conscious. No cues, no nothing. I'm usually in a normal location, too, with nothing visibly unusual about it. Reality checks are good for knowing whether you're dreaming or not. I'd move away from the phone and apps, because you need reality checks that you can do right away, as soon as you become aware in a dream - you probably won't have your phone with you in a dream, but you do have your nose - plug it and see if you can breathe through it. Check out your hand and see how many fingers you have. There might be a digital clock around, if you're in your bedroom - look at it and see if the time changes before your eyes, or look away and look back - does it change now?
Regarding the light app, some people have reported success with it, but you need to be aware enough to notice the flashing lights in the first place. So, you have to practice awareness in waking life - look around you, see if anything looks wierd, question how you got to where you are, etcetera. Awareness all by itself can induce lucid dreams, so it pretty much negates the effect of the light app. Lights have also been known to disguise themselves; your dream might not just suddenly have a big red light flashing in it; the light could take the form of a red stop light or something. If you feel like it can help you though, by all means try it out! Who knows what will happen.
As for sleep paralysis, yeah, it can be a bit startling at first. I used to have SP episodes before even knowing what it was, and they were pretty terrifying. Now, whenever I experience SP (sometimes involving unnerving hallucinations), I almost enjoy the experience because I've researched it a lot and know what to expect. I also make sure I have covers on me, which somehow makes it easier if one of the sleep paralysis symptoms involves the presence of someone standing in the room, or walking on my bed. It almost feels like I'm being protected. Then again, I could hallucinate the covers being pulled off of me, which happened last time, but hey - it's not real!
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