Hi Moon-Wolf,
Firstly welcome to DV.
There is lots of info. and a Wiki on this site, plus a range of tutorials, etc. A dream journal may help you in your quest also, as you get to recognise your own personal dreamsigns.
I'm sorry to hear about your stepdad and the nightmares. I too have been going through a really bad patch this last few months lately, and like you say they can manifest back in your dreams, causing nightmares, etc.
I think lucid dreaming gives you the chance to work out anxieties, etc. I know it's not the perfect answer and cannot solve every problem. However sometimes it helps writing things down (DJ) plus you find out more about yourself.

Good luck.