Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Trying to get over my cold, doing fairly okay now as far as that goes, but my head is cloudy, I'm nocturnal, trying to apply for jobs and I'm overwhelmed by all the bad news going on in the world, and wondering how the hell I'm going to make it... guess I gotta just press on, or maybe rest or something...

Dianeva It sounds to me as if you're disassociating. Do you do anything special for managing anxiety?

I've been in a bad mood for somewhat similar reasons.

RIGHT before my hubby went on a trip, I asked him if he'd have a problem with me getting a job. My p-doc has been pushing the idea and it WOULD be nice to have more financial independence. Hubby said he has no problem with me working. But as I tried to go to sleep, my mood became worse and worse as I thought about actually interacting with people. I'm not smart or confident enough for a "real" job, so I was going to take out an ad saying I'd help people run errands and do chores and such. I love to drive so that would be right up my alley. But what if the people I worked for wanted to actually socialize or what if I became close to them? People confound me- or rather my loyalties do. Having different people tug on me for time and attention etc drives me insane.

Hubby later called and said it wasn't such a good idea after all because I'd have to get liability insurance- especially if I was driving anyone around.

Tonight I was thinking about all of this some more and I realized I've been pulling away from DV because of my stupid mind-set and this thread. As soon as I really started enjoying myself here and it all became flirty and good-natured, I felt compelled to leave.
But upon reflection, it ties into a bunch of abandonment crap (etc)- but how can a person be abandoned on-line

And as I thought of all of this, I wanted to drive my car into a tree which somewhat snapped me out of my funk because of the stupidity of such strongly negative emotions. What the heck is wrong with my brain that it automatically wants to flip a kill switch instead of deal with emotionally *annoying* things. And yes- annoying. That's all my thoughts SHOULD be. These are not the thoughts of someone emotionally drowning in some traumatic crisis lol It's petty nonsense

While I don't feel much better, I'm not going to abandon DV. I love this place and everyone here. I just need to get over myself lol

Another rant is: I smell pancakes. But there are NO pancakes. My nose is hallucinating But now I want to eat pancakes, yet I have no gas and no money to go out and buy some

I haven't used my anti-depressants (sorry to dissapoint you, tommo ) long enough for them to have their effect, so they give a slight reverse effect right now

Things changed

Originally Posted by Carôusoul

Things changed

Indeed.

Welcome back.

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

Trying to get over my cold, doing fairly okay now as far as that goes, but my head is cloudy, I'm nocturnal, trying to apply for jobs and I'm overwhelmed by all the bad news going on in the world, and wondering how the hell I'm going to make it... guess I gotta just press on, or maybe rest or something...

News is shitty.

Writing long posts that no one responds to is like rain in the desert man....

Am I condemned to only communicate via memes and gifs? jk

Originally Posted by stormcrow

Writing long posts that no one responds to is like rain in the desert man....

Am I condemned to only communicate via memes and gifs? jk

Originally Posted by Erii

fucckkkk...


Thanks a bunch

And Likes. Likes can speak volumes.

Originally Posted by Suena

I fucking miss DV.
and lucidity.

</3

Where have you been? :0

I've been in verging-on-suicidal depression all day. I barely have the energy to think or do anything, feeling so tired and barely able to keep my eyes open even though I got 9 hours of sleep and drank coffee. Then I got this email.

Dear Miss [my last name],

I seldom write an e-mail like the following but since you have done
so well in the courses I've taught in the past (for the most part) I was
concerned about
your current marks in CPSC 2150.

I just finished marking your midterm and you got 60%.
I wanted to give you a chance to let me know whether something happen on the way
to the midterm (a car/bus accident) that might have rattled you making you late to
the midterm and making it difficult for you to concentrate?

Regards,
[teacher's name]

fml

Originally Posted by stormcrow

fucckkkk...


Thanks a bunch

Originally Posted by Dianeva

I've been in verging-on-suicidal depression all day. I barely have the energy to think or do anything, feeling so tired and barely able to keep my eyes open even though I got 9 hours of sleep and drank coffee. Then I got this email.

Hmmmm.... not good.
You could just tell her that you've been having problems lately with stress etc. Basically the stuff you've been writing in this thread.

Originally Posted by tommo

Hmmmm.... not good.
You could just tell her that you've been having problems lately with stress etc. Basically the stuff you've been writing in this thread.

How did you know that the teacher is female?

Wow I just took a 2 hour nap and I did an RC in my dream but I just passed it off as if it were nothing. Could have had my second lucid.

Originally Posted by DeeryTheDeer

Trying to get over my cold, doing fairly okay now as far as that goes, but my head is cloudy, I'm nocturnal, trying to apply for jobs and I'm overwhelmed by all the bad news going on in the world, and wondering how the hell I'm going to make it... guess I gotta just press on, or maybe rest or something...

Media outlets rarely report anything that could consist of "good news". Personally, I stopped really paying attention and caring years ago. I know it sounds sad because its good to be "informed", but I started looking through the world from my own point of view and I've come to the conclusion that its better to just brush off catastrophic events in different parts of the world unless you witness them personally. It takes alot of stress off your shoulders.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

I've been in verging-on-suicidal depression all day. I barely have the energy to think or do anything, feeling so tired and barely able to keep my eyes open even though I got 9 hours of sleep and drank coffee. Then I got this email.



fml

I've been in this situation so many times throughout high school. Not because I'm lazy, but because I had the lack of motivation to do almost anything. I would basically sleep all day and feel so tired during the day that I had no energy to go to school, see friends or complete work. Its only this year where I've been on anti-depressants that I finally picked up where I left off and I'm going through high school this year pretty successfully and meeting new people along the way.

Perhaps, you can ask for extra credit or for your later marks to be weighted higher than your first term marks. I know from experience that if you ask for help, teachers are more than willing to help you increase your mark.

Take Care!

Originally Posted by Dianeva

How did you know that the teacher is female?

Because........ I AM YOUR TEACHER!

Originally Posted by tommo

Because........ I AM YOUR TEACHER!

Originally Posted by tommo

Because........ I AM YOUR TEACHER!

lol, I wish..

I sent this email.

Dear Dr. [teacher's name],

Thanks for the concern. But no, I don't have any such excuse. I was late on that
day because I was tired and knew I would have trouble writing the exam without
coffee, and the line up at Tim Hortons was unexpectedly long.

To be honest, I did not study very hard for that test, and that's why I did so
poorly. I've been quite depressed lately due to personal matters and have
difficulty finding much motivation to study.

Still, I'm surprised I did as badly as that. I thought I had done okay on the
first two questions. I'm guessing most of the marks were lost on the last
question. I never studied the path-finding algorithm, so I had to work out the
maze problem from scratch, and couldn't figure it in time.

[my name]

Now I'll be afraid to go to class tomorrow because of the awkwardness. I don't know if I should have included the depression part or not. It's the truth, but that isn't the type of thing I should be telling a professor. But if I left it out, all I'd be able to say is that I was lazy and didn't study. I spent so much time writing the email and going over it, I'm surprised that little typo at the end got through.

Still wondering how you knew she was female. Was the writing style feminine? Was it just a lucky assumption?

EDIT: I got an email back from her. It's just occurred to me that I probably shouldn't be copy/pasting what someone's emailed me onto a forum. I'll just paste the first part of what she emailed me back.

That explains why you did well on the first assignments but they were late (from
memory).
I thought that something was going on (and I am NOT asking you to disclose
it to me) and was somewhat concerned about you.
I know that you have potential to do very well in Computer Science.

Then she goes on to ask if the counseling center would help and that they're told to let students know about it. So, yeah... it didn't turn out that bad, but it will still be awkward to go to class tomorrow. I'm afraid. How do I get myself into these situations!?

I don't think you did anything wrong, just answered her question. Maybe she'll be more lenient in grading you now lol I hope you feel better about stuff soon though, that doesn't sound too fun. I actually assumed it was a female too lol maybe because they seem to be the ones who notice things about their students and reach out more than male teachers? That's kinda been my experience.

Okay, that makes sense. When I first posted it I thought people would assume it was a male, if anything, because it's a CPSC class.

I don't know anything about CPSC teachers since I'm procrastinating taking that class as much as I can, not my favorite subject

Originally Posted by Dianeva

lol, I wish..

Me too, coz then I'd know programming enough to be able to teach you haha

Originally Posted by Dianeva

Now I'll be afraid to go to class tomorrow because of the awkwardness. I don't know if I should have included the depression part or not. It's the truth, but that isn't the type of thing I should be telling a professor. But if I left it out, all I'd be able to say is that I was lazy and didn't study. I spent so much time writing the email and going over it, I'm surprised that little typo at the end got through.

The thing is, if the teacher cares enough to notice, chances are they will not just shrug off whatever answer you give. They actually care, in other words.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

Still wondering how you knew she was female. Was the writing style feminine? Was it just a lucky assumption?

Haha, lucky mistake. For some reason I thought I saw "Regards, Miss [name]" at the end, instead of what you actually put there.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

Then she goes on to ask if the counseling center would help and that they're told to let students know about it. So, yeah... it didn't turn out that bad, but it will still be awkward to go to class tomorrow. I'm afraid. How do I get myself into these situations!?

Hehe, dw I've done similar things. It works out best in the end. I pretty much suck at public speaking. And when I've told teachers that, it ALWAYS works out better.
One teacher said I can just give the presentation to her, which was no way near as bad. Another teacher actually did the presentation with me, which I thought would just be even more
embarrassing, having to get a teacher to help, but it was actually a lot easier and made me more confident.

Decided to use autosuggestion to wake me up when I was done with 5 hours of sleep. But noooo, wake me up earlier damn brain -.- Even heard my alarm, but just felt like shit to try to do a WILD.