Anyone have depression?

[carebearboy]

I've wanted to post this for a few weeks now. It's challenging to find the motivation to type. I'm not looking for sympathy or solutions. And I'm not looking for inane comments. I thought maybe people who are currently depressed could share their experiences so that those reading don't feel so isolated and alone. I have this theory that the most depressed people are the ones who reach out the least. I very rarely post about this topic, though it consumes much of my daily thought. I feel selfish typing this out. Seeing so many I's in this post is not helping. Anyways, feeling low here.. Been to the hospital many times. Cut too many times to count. Live alone. Don't work. Leave house about once a week. I've had a decent childhood and feel that I've lived a decent life. The song Lull by Blindspott is a song that perhaps best describes how I think I feel: Blindspott - Lull - YouTube If there are any lurkers who feel the same, you are not alone.

[Castles]

Eh, I live with depression as well. It's genetic, my mother has severe depression so it isn't anything to do with traumatizing life events. Although I've been through quite a bit it's in the past. Recently I've found it quite hard to talk about my feelings when I need to. I've been with my s/o for 7 months, and I've been working on talking about my feelings etc. It's difficult. 17 years of not talking about my feelings at all to spilling them out and crying for hours. I'm getting stronger though. You're not alone either.

[Munstaan]

Im not depresses but, I have alot of challenges infront of me and my horoscope says the same I was depressed today so I just took a nap and I ended having an awesome dream and I just said "Gotta keep my head up, fall down 8 times get up 9."

[Seroquel]

I wallow in sorrow.

[Zhaylin]

I don't so much as have depression as I do anxiety- though the anxiety, at times, does make me depressed. In parenting class, we discussed "I" statements and expressing feeling. I grew up using "I" statements, but it finally hit me that I don't really discuss how I feel. "I feel you are selling yourself short and...." may be something I'd say to my kids. I rarely say something like "It makes me sad (or ...) when you sell yourself short, because...." So, I understand how difficult it can be to not express that side of you. I also understand self-injury. I'm 37 years old and I still slip up from time to time and give in to the crutch.

[Never]

Loneliness has always been my companion. I intimidate everyone I meet, and it sucks. I was born about 4,000 years too late.

[Erii]

Anxious and Depressed 24/7, baby.

[Arra]

No. Never.

[Spartiate]

No. Never. ...

[fOrceez]

Yeah, I think my depression first started with girls >_< each time I got dumped, it goes progressively worse. I ended up seeing a psychologist for a few months when I just decided it wasn't helping. I also don't enjoy going out very much. Probably once every month or two, even when my friends have parties. I've also had anxiety attacks since i was young (as early as i can remember) but I never knew what they were. It wasn't frequent, maybe once every 3 or 4 months, but every time they came, i'd freak the f* out. It started becoming more frequent when the depression set in and when I was seeing my psychologist and told her about these random bursts of freaking out over nothing, she diagnosed me with anxiety. Made a lot more sense after that. Anxiety started going away when i'd do relaxation/meditation sessions. I don't know if I still have depression NOW.. I feel content but I always make plans with friends and then bail out at the last minute for no real reason.

[khh]

Yup.

[LonelyTurtle]

'erry day.

[DeletePlease]

It's been on and off for about 8 years but it isn't too bad atm; overall that is, some days I feel like absolute shit and some days I'm fine. I have really low self-esteem and it basically stems from that but lately it's been more event-driven.

[DeeryTheDeer]

I've struggled with it, but I'm pretty good now. I used to think I was doomed to being depressed for the rest of my life. I'm so fortunate to lay those fears to rest.

[Solarflare]

Nope, don't see the point of being sad 24/7. We only have 1 life...

[khh]

Nope, don't see the point of being sad 24/7. We only have 1 life... Oh really? It's quite fantastic, I can assure you.

[fOrceez]

Nope, don't see the point of being sad 24/7. We only have 1 life...

[Quantiq]

I definitely see where you are comming from. Like many others, I was diagnosed with clinical depression. Probably, for about a year of my life, I didn't have the motivation to do absolutely anything. I skipped school, stayed home, in bed, and slept for hours on end as a form of escapism to what I thought was the harsh reality I was living in. I hated school for the most part, and I still do. Part of what was causing me to be depressed was infact school. To me, school was a waste of my abilities, a waste of time. It became way too easy, and eventually I lost all motivation in my life. I have been taking Fluoxetine (Known as Prozac) and Bupropion (known as Wellbutrin) which are SSRIs which have "nummed" my emotions to a point where I actually have artificial motivation just to get to school. I can even tell its artificial. These are not genuinely induced emotions, they are just artificially instated to make me feel somewhat better. But there really isn't anything I can do. I need the medication I'm taking or I probably would have commit suicide a long time ago. Anyway, if you're not on medication already, you should go see a doctor or phychiatrist. It will save you alot of time from getting back into the same loop holes of depression over and over again. Nope, don't see the point of being sad 24/7. We only have 1 life... It's usually hard for people without depression to understand. However, I can assure you that people who are depressed do not want to be depressed. Most of the time, it is related to genetics or a lack of natural serotonin and dopamine in the body's system. Yeah, I think my depression first started with girls >_< each time I got dumped, it goes progressively worse. I ended up seeing a psychologist for a few months when I just decided it wasn't helping. I also don't enjoy going out very much. Probably once every month or two, even when my friends have parties. I've also had anxiety attacks since i was young (as early as i can remember) but I never knew what they were. It wasn't frequent, maybe once every 3 or 4 months, but every time they came, i'd freak the f* out. It started becoming more frequent when the depression set in and when I was seeing my psychologist and told her about these random bursts of freaking out over nothing, she diagnosed me with anxiety. Made a lot more sense after that. Anxiety started going away when i'd do relaxation/meditation sessions. I don't know if I still have depression NOW.. I feel content but I always make plans with friends and then bail out at the last minute for no real reason. Mediatation and relaxation techniques are great for event induced and anxiety related depression but hardly help for clinical depression. It's good that it has been working for you though. I wallow in sorrow. Seroquel is actually the name for an antipsychotic sometimes used in depression cases, I assume you are taking this, no?

[LonelyTurtle]

Nope, don't see the point of being sad 24/7. We only have 1 life... You don't like to mix it up a little? Some days I feel just a tad too content, so I like to get hopelessly depressed, with a little anxiety on the side. I love that panicky, trapped feeling; makes ya feel alive, you know?

[Quantiq]

You don't like to mix it up a little? Some days I feel just a tad too content, so I like to get hopelessly depressed, with a little anxiety on the side. I love that panicky, trapped feeling; makes ya feel alive, you know? Lol.

[Solarflare]

It's usually hard for people without depression to understand. However, I can assure you that people who are depressed do not want to be depressed. Most of the time, it is related to genetics or a lack of natural serotonin and dopamine in the body's system. I've actually had depression before, a minor one I'm guessing nonetheless, but looking back I see there was really no point to be so miserable :/ but thats just my 2 cents EDIT: oops, i didnt read the last part . Well then I guess it not really controllable then...

[carebearboy]

Wow, so many replies... ((( Castles Aeroproxy Seroquel Zhaylin Never Erii Dianeva Spartiate FOrceez khh LonelyTurtle GavinGill DeeryTheDeer Solarflare Quantiq Evy ))) Just incase anyone needed a huggle.

[khh]

EDIT: oops, i didnt read the last part . Well then I guess it not really controllable then... It can be affected, but it's not as simple as a choice. Few know what they can do about it and it tends to sap away your motivation and energy.

[rynkrt3]

Suicidal thoughts every week? - Check. Shit grades in school, and no motivation to work hard? - Check. Low self esteem, lack of communication skills? - Check. no idea where I'm headed after high school? - Check. Would you say I'm depressed? Yeah I would.

[JesterKK]

Been pretty stuck in a rut lately. Need to get back into lucid dreaming though. That might help give me something else to focus on.