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    Thread: What does it feel like to be...straight?

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      Question What does it feel like to be...straight?

      Gay guy here. I just CANNOT for the life of me find women sexually attractive. No matter how much I look at them, pictures, videos, real life, etc., I just can't find myself having a girlfriend/wife. ...I can't even jerk-off to women. For as long as I've known, I've only found men sexually attractive. There's no way else I can describe it.

      I'm just asking how YOU, straight guys, can find it possible to like women. Don't be afraid to be specific either.

      Girls are welcome to contribute, obviously.
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      well it's pretty simple, I like to stick my cock in vaginas. I like the moist insides of them, it feels warm and smooth against my sensitive dickhead.
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      I guess it's the same idea as why some heterosexual people don't understand why we find people of the same gender appealing.

      I find dicks disgusting. And some guy's constant thoughts of sex disgusting too.
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      Quote Originally Posted by CRAZY BONE View Post
      well it's pretty simple, I like to stick my cock in vaginas. I like the moist insides of them, it feels warm and smooth against my sensitive dickhead.
      This tells me nothing. Your reply is like a Youtube comment on a video entitled "Girl takes off top."

      Quote Originally Posted by Carrot View Post
      I guess it's the same idea as why some heterosexual people don't understand why we find people of the same gender appealing.

      I find dicks disgusting. And some guy's constant thoughts of sex disgusting too.
      Perhaps some heterosexual people think it's choice? Try telling a straight person when they chose to be gay. I certainly didn't choose to be gay.

      Personally to me, I don't find boobs, vaginas, or any other part of the female body disgusting, I don't get turned off when I see them. I'm just...neutral. Basically, they do nothing for me.

      Maybe if I tried REALLY, really hard and thought in a really sensual way, I could get off with women.

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      I really think most people are probably bisexual to some degree or another, and what they lean towards is based on preference and whatever environment they were raised in.

      I would ask you, do you find group scene with a man and woman sexy? Do you find a man who has hormone replacement or something and big breasts but still a man where it counts attractive at all? What about someone all man but dresses semi feminine?

      The point I am trying to get out is do you only find masculine men attractive? If so it is probably not just men that get you off, but the very masculine stereotypes that do. If not, and you find feminine men attractive, then why not woman with similar looks?

      I bet you regardless of which it is, you can be tricked into finding a woman to be attractive, because they look like a man in some way. And if you can do that, you can probably find someone similar and without tricking you, still find that person attractive.

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      Well, for physical stuff, make a list of all of the things that are attractive in men. We have an arbitrary list like that for women, too.
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      Quote Originally Posted by DestFinis View Post
      I'm just asking how YOU, straight guys, can find it possible to like women?
      It is just an instinctual attraction for me, I am just naturally attracted to women. I cannot explain it in any more detail.
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      Quote Originally Posted by DestFinis View Post
      Gay guy here. I just CANNOT for the life of me find women sexually attractive. No matter how much I look at them, pictures, videos, real life, etc., I just can't find myself having a girlfriend/wife. ...I can't even jerk-off to women. For as long as I've known, I've only found men sexually attractive. There's no way else I can describe it.

      I'm just asking how YOU, straight guys, can find it possible to like women. Don't be afraid to be specific either.

      Girls are welcome to contribute, obviously.
      It's a very hard question to answer for any sexual attraction. It's impossible to tell what exactly makes it happen. For heterosexuality, you can bring up evolutionary progression to explain why certain attributes are attractive to the heterosexual person. So the best thing you can do is come up with a list of attributes.

      For heterosexuals, it would be (for some) something like large breasts, wide hips, long legs, youthful face, etc.
      I'm guessing homosexuals have something similar, right?

      For either one, it doesn't seem possible to answer why those attributes or the combination of attributes are attractive. You can name them, and state that you find them appealing, but explaining it seems impossible, just like explaining why blue is your favorite color, or why you really like the taste of ice cream. ("It's sweet and has a nice consistency" - "Yeah well, what do you like about sweetness and the consistency?" - "Well, I like sweet things." - "Why?")

      If you can't see how hard the question is to answer, try to apply the same questions to your own sexuality. How is it possible to like men? In fact, you already did answer the question.

      I think it's a weird question, and weirdly I've encountered it a lot. Most people here know of my odd sexuality, and I've even seen people from within that community asking a similar question. A lot of people seem to be unable to understand how other people can percieve things differently than they do. Whatever sexuality we have, if it isn't heterosexuality, then our brains fucked something up. It's not necessarily a bad thing, and since it's so subjective, it can't be "wrong" either. It's just different.

      I find the easiest way to understand these differences is to compare it to color preferences, music taste and general taste. We all like different things. It's impossible to argue the tastes because they are 100% subjective and thus there is no right answer.

      However, I would like to see an arbitrary list of attractive traits from the different sexualities. I mean, what does a dendrophile find attractive in trees?

      Quote Originally Posted by Alric View Post
      I bet you regardless of which it is, you can be tricked into finding a woman to be attractive, because they look like a man in some way. And if you can do that, you can probably find someone similar and without tricking you, still find that person attractive.
      Well that seems a bit unfair to me. That's just because sexuality doesn't actually work in the way we seem to want it to. We want to place tags on everything and have our sexualities target those tags. Like homosexuality means that men are attractive. But that doesn't mean all mean are attractive. So that's not really what homosexuality means, rather, it means that you're attracted to some specific bundle of characteristics that could maybe be described as "masculinity". Minus turn-offs. The brain doesn't give two shits about these tags we place on everything. It just looks for stuff that has that bundle of traits it likes, and then it runs boner.exe, no matter how much you object to it because you know it's a "trick".

      So of course; if there's a woman that looks like an attractive man, then of course a gay person is going to be attracted to that woman. Because she looks like an attractive woman. That doesn't make the gay guy heterosexual, or even bisexual. To be bisexual, the gay guy would have to be attracted to someone who looks like a woman.

      Conclusion: We all have specific traits we like. If you spot those traits anywhere, be it on a guy, a girl or on a dumpster - you will find it attractive unless a turn-off trait is also included.
      Last edited by Maeni; 04-02-2012 at 01:39 PM.

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      Quote Originally Posted by CRAZY BONE View Post
      well it's pretty simple, I like to stick my cock in vaginas. I like the moist insides of them, it feels warm and smooth against my sensitive dickhead.
      I imagine you can have the same feelings inside a man's asshole.
      So no, it's not that simple, unless you agree that a man's asshole is just as appealing.

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      It's just innate and yes I can probably make up a list of some of the things I find attractive about women in general but that doesn't really explain why.

      The only answer is that it feels good right, brooooo.
      Last edited by Sornaensis; 04-02-2012 at 01:57 PM. Reason: Asdf

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      Do gay men constantly think of other men, like straight men constantly think of women?
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      Quote Originally Posted by DestFinis View Post
      Perhaps some heterosexual people think it's choice? Try telling a straight person when they chose to be gay. I certainly didn't choose to be gay.
      I didn't choose to be lesbian too.

      If homosexual is a choice, heterosexual is a choice too.

      Quote Originally Posted by DestFinis View Post
      Personally to me, I don't find boobs, vaginas, or any other part of the female body disgusting, I don't get turned off when I see them. I'm just...neutral. Basically, they do nothing for me.

      Maybe if I tried REALLY, really hard and thought in a really sensual way, I could get off with women.
      I just... Hate guys sometimes.

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      Quote Originally Posted by Carrot View Post
      I didn't choose to be lesbian too.

      If homosexual is a choice, heterosexual is a choice too.
      Ah, that's the kicker. Most people really don't think about it like that. Those who think that homosexuality is a choice practically always consider heterosexuality to be the default.

      I just... Hate guys sometimes.
      What do you mean by that?
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      Quote Originally Posted by Indeed View Post
      What do you mean by that?
      Because previously I mentioned I find certain aspects of guys disgusting, so I was explaining why.

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      i know what makes a man tick, there's no mystery. also, hasn't this thread already been made?

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      Quote Originally Posted by Alric View Post
      I really think most people are probably bisexual to some degree or another, and what they lean towards is based on preference and whatever environment they were raised in.

      I would ask you, do you find group scene with a man and woman sexy? Do you find a man who has hormone replacement or something and big breasts but still a man where it counts attractive at all? What about someone all man but dresses semi feminine?

      The point I am trying to get out is do you only find masculine men attractive? If so it is probably not just men that get you off, but the very masculine stereotypes that do. If not, and you find feminine men attractive, then why not woman with similar looks?

      I bet you regardless of which it is, you can be tricked into finding a woman to be attractive, because they look like a man in some way. And if you can do that, you can probably find someone similar and without tricking you, still find that person attractive.
      Hm, good question. If I thought hard about it, I would say I wouldn't find a mix of either gender traits on a man attractive at all. I find a man generally more attractive than a woman, but I would find a feminine woman more attractive than a man with big breasts or a woman with masculine traits, as confusing as that sounds. As for the group sex thing, I wouldn't be bothered by a woman in the group, but again, I just don't find women titillating.

      Alfred Kinsey did find that there are varying degrees of sexual orientation. I may just be on the predominantly homosexual side. Who knows?

      Quote Originally Posted by Maeni View Post
      ...if there's a woman that looks like an attractive man, then of course a gay person is going to be attracted to that woman. Because she looks like an attractive woman. That doesn't make the gay guy heterosexual, or even bisexual. To be bisexual, the gay guy would have to be attracted to someone who looks like a woman.

      Conclusion: We all have specific traits we like. If you spot those traits anywhere, be it on a guy, a girl or on a dumpster - you will find it attractive unless a turn-off trait is also included.
      To be honest, I've always been turned on by the chance of "becoming straight" and "being like one of the guys," even if for a day. It's kind of like going to the dark side and finding that erotic, if you know what I mean. Being gay wasn't my choice, and if given the opportunity, I'd really like to experience what being a straight man feels like...as uncomfortable as that sounds to you guys.

      Quote Originally Posted by Sornaensis View Post
      The only answer is that it feels good right, brooooo.
      Hm, right, as in morally right, or right for you?

      Quote Originally Posted by greenhavoc View Post
      i know what makes a man tick, there's no mystery. also, hasn't this thread already been made?
      Oh really? I've tried searching "straight," "heterosexuality," "homosexuality," but I didn't find any threads about what it's like to be a heterosexual person. Maybe I just didn't see it or something.
      Last edited by DestFinis; 04-02-2012 at 06:42 PM. Reason: Minor spelling errors, nothing important.

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      Quote Originally Posted by DestFinis
      To be honest, I've always been turned on by the chance of "becoming straight" and "being like one of the guys," even if for a day. It's kind of like going to the dark side and finding that erotic, if you know what I mean.
      Wait, what?
      Is it like a fetish now? Is it erotic to imagine yourself as a heterosexual? I don't think I know what you mean, no

      But I think I've got something sort of related running lately. It's been a while since I've fantasized about what I usually find attractive, and instead I've been entertaining arguably weirder thoughts instead. And I've no idea why. Perhaps my sexuality really just is fucked, perhaps I'm uncomfortable with my sexuality which causes me to seek out something else, or perhaps it's my inner hipster that wants those cool non-mainstream fantasies. (Implying my original sexuality wasn't weird enough)

      Quote Originally Posted by DestFinis
      Being gay wasn't my choice, and if given the opportunity, I'd really like to experience what being a straight man feels like...as uncomfortable as that sounds to you guys.
      I think their feelings are the same. Like, they get exactly the same feelings you get when you see a sexy man, when they see a sexy woman. But if you're talking about what it feels like as in, what life is like for a normal heterosexual, then yeah I get ya. But then there's plenty of other things that I would rather know what feels like. If what you're talking about is sort of a "I wonder what it feels like to be normal..." then I can totally understand. There's lots of people with differences that make life a completely different thing, like homosexuals I suppose. From what I've seen, people who are 'normal' suck.

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      Quote Originally Posted by Maeni View Post
      Wait, what?
      Is it like a fetish now? Is it erotic to imagine yourself as a heterosexual? I don't think I know what you mean, no
      Hm, I guess the turn-on thing was kind of out of left field, but that was exactly what I meant. Think of grass is greener on the other side, too. =]

      But I think I've got something sort of related running lately. It's been a while since I've fantasized about what I usually find attractive, and instead I've been entertaining arguably weirder thoughts instead. And I've no idea why. Perhaps my sexuality really just is fucked, perhaps I'm uncomfortable with my sexuality which causes me to seek out something else, or perhaps it's my inner hipster that wants those cool non-mainstream fantasies. (Implying my original sexuality wasn't weird enough)
      Oh, please, don't bring up hipster when it's about sexuality lol. Haha, just brings up all sorts of nasty connotations when I think about it. >.< Not to disagree with your way of thinking, I totally relate to what you're saying. But you made it seem like sexuality is like music, movies, books. I don't think it's like that. :]

      I think their feelings are the same. Like, they get exactly the same feelings you get when you see a sexy man, when they see a sexy woman. But if you're talking about what it feels like as in, what life is like for a normal heterosexual, then yeah I get ya. But then there's plenty of other things that I would rather know what feels like. If what you're talking about is sort of a "I wonder what it feels like to be normal..." then I can totally understand. There's lots of people with differences that make life a completely different thing, like homosexuals I suppose. From what I've seen, people who are 'normal' suck.
      I think of normal people in a different way. It's like I trust that "normal" people came to be probably because this "normal" trait was probably the most desirable back in our younger years as a species, and now normal people are the "mode" of society. I am aware that this kind of thinking is potentially self-destructive though.

      My kind of thinking applies to more than just sexuality. I always wonder what it would be like to like sports, to be inclined to violence or manliness, like cars, to smoke, to be a heavy drinker, even to be circumcised (I am uncircumcised). I'm not a flaming gay man or anything, just an average acting guy who happens to be gay, but sadly, many of the things related to the man's man, I'm just not a fit. Maybe it's for the best lol.
      Last edited by DestFinis; 04-02-2012 at 07:19 PM. Reason: Hipsters and sexuality lol.
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      Quote Originally Posted by DestFinis View Post
      To be honest, I've always been turned on by the chance of "becoming straight" and "being like one of the guys," even if for a day. It's kind of like going to the dark side and finding that erotic, if you know what I mean. Being gay wasn't my choice, and if given the opportunity, I'd really like to experience what being a straight man feels like...as uncomfortable as that sounds to you guys.
      You aren't the only one. But mine is mostly for the reason of fitting in into the crowd. To have lesser people telling you everyday you're too young to know. Ironic when it's the scenario of a girl telling others she has a crush on a guy, and all the adults will give her suggestions on what to do.

      Now I'm stuck in a contradictory fix, I find being heterosexual uncomfortable and I find being homosexual uncomfortable because I don't dare to face my feelings, knowing very well if I sink too deep into it, it will lead me into another round of depression. But I roughly know how being a heterosexual feels like for girls; girls usually they like being protected by their guy and it seems most girls will accept a guy if the guy treats her well. Just seem that the guy treating girls well seem to be the main reason why girls are attracted to them. There's the good-looking factor too but it applies for every sexuality usually.
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      Quote Originally Posted by dave1701 View Post

      Do gay men constantly think of other men, like straight men constantly think of women?
      Yes, furthermore, I do so identify with the OP, it's not that women are disgusting to me and the thought of being with a woman is absolutely repulsive, I just couldn't because there is NO attraction.
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      Quote Originally Posted by DestFinis View Post
      Hm, I guess the turn-on thing was kind of out of left field, but that was exactly what I meant. Think of grass is greener on the other side, too. =]
      So you, what? Fantasize about being heterosexual? Do you have heterosexual fantasies despite not finding it appealing?
      I think you're right though, it's probably a shit load easier being heterosexual. But that doesn't mean it's better

      Oh, please, don't bring up hipster when it's about sexuality lol. Haha, just brings up all sorts of nasty connotations when I think about it. >.< Not to disagree with your way of thinking, I totally relate to what you're saying. But you made it seem like sexuality is like music, movies, books. I don't think it's like that. :]
      I'm not exactly sure what you mean~
      On first thought, I'd agree with you that sexuality is not at all similar to music/movie/book preferences, but on the other hand, I think it is a lot like that.
      The way I see it, there's always certain things in movies that you enjoy the most, be it a certain genre, style or whatever. So you have a natural preference for music, books an movies. But if you feel uncomfortable with your preferences, maybe you'll start to look for other genres and "pretend" to like them, even if you don't really enjoy it that much.

      I dunno, I'm just using it to theorize why I'm fantasizing about (arguably) weird(er) shit lately. Anyways, what do you mean with "nasty connotations"?
      And also, if there's anything to it, then what you're doing would be the complete opposite I mean, being homosexual is hardly mainstream, so if you've got an interest in being heterosexual then that's obviously not a desire to be hip and cool, but more like a desire to fit in.

      (I mentioned the word hipster as a bit of a joke, maybe I'm getting sidetracked by the analogy...)

      My kind of thinking applies to more than just sexuality. I always wonder what it would be like to like sports, to be inclined to violence or manliness, like cars, to smoke, to be a heavy drinker, even to be circumcised (I am uncircumcised). I'm not a flaming gay man or anything, just an average acting guy who happens to be gay, but sadly, many of the things related to the man's man, I'm just not a fit. Maybe it's for the best lol.
      Yeah, exactly, there's more to being "normal" than just being heterosexual. If you're just heterosexual, there's still plenty of ways you can be odd which also changes your life a lot. I think that stereotype, those normals, are horrible. It's probably a lot easier to live life if you're one of those, whatever it takes, but from the way I see it, it sucks. Easier, but horrible. So I definitely think it's for the best.

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      Quote Originally Posted by mooseantlers View Post
      Yes, furthermore, I do so identify with the OP, it's not that women are disgusting to me and the thought of being with a woman is absolutely repulsive, I just couldn't because there is NO attraction.
      You said you were a bi-mo, though. This to me suggest that your only use for any woman you've ever been with was sex. Are you admitting to everyone here at DV that you only use women for pleasure?

      I don't know, maybe it's that you just have a problem controlling your sexual impulses. I mean, you're obviously a fairy, so why would have sex with a woman?

      For your health!

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      I find my girlfriend sexually attractive (VERY sexually attractive, even thinking about it makes me want to her. lol) For the same reason you probably find men sexually attractive. Biology bro.
      we are all wired differently and enjoy different things. Take fetishes for example, some people like whips some like chains. Personal prefrence.
      Last edited by Myke Gregory; 04-02-2012 at 11:19 PM.
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      Quote Originally Posted by Indeed View Post
      Those who think that homosexuality is a choice practically always consider heterosexuality to be the default.
      A lot of times it seems like the opposite. I mean, you do have people like Santorum saying that homosexuality would disappear without gay porn (kind of a chicken and egg argument there...), but a lot of people also seem to think that without a social stigma the earth would be instantly depopulated because everyone would just scissor and sex butts.
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      Quote Originally Posted by dave1701 View Post


      Do gay men constantly think of other men, like straight men constantly think of women?


      I don't think about anything lol
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      Last Post: 07-20-2006, 08:35 AM

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