I don't really post about my problems because I don't really think this site is the right place to do it but I guess this is the only place I can come to get stuff off my chest. This place is just full of advise ( not just advise on lucid dreaming. ). I don't really have friends in reality and this place feels like my home.

I have a girlfriend, but I'm only 17 and I often quetion my feelings for her, Do I love her? I don't know. Why am I with her? I don't know I just feel like there is someone there for me that I can go and see. I see her almost everyday and if I told her all of this i don't know what would happen. I really don't know what to say about this situation. I want to tell her the truth but because she's been hurt quite a lot in the past i don't want to add to it. I need to put my feelings first even though I don't want to. As much as I want to, I can't, it's not fair because if I have the tank with her it will only make me feel worse, I will go back to the person who has no friends and stays in all the time. I'm so cofused right now. I'm scared of being alone.

On the other side, I have family problems, I haven't seen my family for nearly 4 years. They say you have family for life, but it feels like the only person I've got is my girlfriend and myself. I feel like I have no one to talk to, I moved into foster care when I was 14 and that ruined me, I moved into semi-independence when I was 16 and I'm still here now. I turn 18 in June and will probably have a flat set up within the next couple of months. I don't want to move in my own flat because that feeling on being lonely will get even worse.

I want to get a job, but its so hard when I have confidence issues, I'm scared of being judged, I'm scared of the world. Do any of you understand my problems? I have a negative mind set and whenever I try something new I just hear the word failure. I'm trying to change this, I'm learning lucid dream in bcause it interests me, as much as I want to give up I can't. I need to achieve something in lucid dreaming, by carrying on my techniques everyday I'm striving to reach my goal. I must achieve this and I will achieve this if I keep at it, so once I achieve my goal maybe it will teach me that time and patience is needed with most things in life and are not going to magically happen straight away.