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    1. #51
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      I made very little changes, and I just wanted to do something. Mainly, I tried to change the flow a tiny bit.

      Spoiler for My revision of very litte changes, V 2.35 :

    2. #52
      Hero Of Dreams ca1um132's Avatar
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      Spoiler for Small change. v.2.36:


      It was just a small change that I did. So hope it's ok. Feel free to take it out if you don't like it.

    3. #53
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      Spoiler for V. 2.37:


      i know im not in the edit department but w/e
      Last edited by Banana; 07-25-2009 at 02:27 AM. Reason: added a comma

    4. #54
      Member CoLd BlooDed's Avatar
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      The reason why I edited so much was because I wanted to eliminate the use of 'may,' it was killing the narrative. I think it was fine where DoD had it. Sorry guys.


      Starry starry night, paint your pallet blue and gray,
      Look out on a summers day,
      with eyes that know the darkness of my soul.


    5. #55
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      Hey, I tried.
      Last edited by Exhalent; 07-25-2009 at 02:51 AM.

    6. #56
      of dreaming dreamingofdreaming's Avatar
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      OK, yeah wow. Thanks everyone. I'll go over these new versions and see what we can use.

      Just a little note - If a piece has obviously been edited by several people then it's probably best to move on to another. We don't want to keep nitpicking a piece apart to death

      I'll post a final draft this weekend. Thanks again!!!!

    7. #57
      !DIREKTOR! Adam's Avatar
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      When ever you think you can add something to the piece

      Good work guys, looks awesome

    8. #58
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      IMPORTANT - ALL EDITING STAFF PLEASE READ

      I think you all are doing a fantastic job but I'm not entirely sure why Banana's post was in here for editing when he's not currently writing a chapter nor is there any guarantee that that post will be used at all. Originally, Naiya wanted other writers to help aid the main authors of the chapters currently being written (those being chapters two and three). If that post was created with the intent of aiding the authors of chapters two and three then it should have been placed in the chapter writing department first before it went to revisions. Once again, presupposing it was created to aid them, Naiya or ca1um132 would have then said something about its relevancy before the post went to revisions.

      This is just so we won't be wasting the editors time having them edit information that the authors at this time were unaware about

      In the future, perhaps someone should approve a post (that needs editing) before it gets sent to the revisions department.

      Banana, this is not to say that you are doing a bad job at all, hell no. If that post was meant to help the authors of 2 and 3 then you're doing as Naiya asked (by working on chapters together as a whole). If that post was meant to be independent of the currently active chatpers then that's going against what she has asked and the editing department staff basically edited a post that may not be used at all.


      I propose that all original submitted works thought relevant to "active" chapters, be posted in the writing department for the author(s) of the active chapter(s) to approve or disapprove of that work in the sense of it being useful and whether it should be sent to revisions and then BACK to the writing department...or not. What say you?
      Last edited by Jeff777; 07-25-2009 at 08:19 PM.
      Things are not as they seem

    9. #59
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      Ok, jeff thats fine.

      I just thought it wouldd be a good idea to get that one started but w/e

      I guess ill start working on helping with the active chapters.

    10. #60
      of dreaming dreamingofdreaming's Avatar
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      YES Thank you Jeff!!

      You said it better than I could. I was thinking the same thing and was confused on where exactly Banana's post would be used.

      Let's all do as Jeff said; once a work has been approved by one of the writers THEN it can go to Editing/Revising for us to correct as we find necessary.

      Thank you again for the clarification. If any of you have any questions don't hesitate to PM Jeff, myself or CB.

      Thanks!!

    11. #61
      ヽ(ー`)ノ Tara's Avatar
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      I'm reporting in.
      I feel horribly behind in all of this.

      What exactly should I be editing/Where do I go to find things to edit?

    12. #62
      Legend Jeff777's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Anonymoose View Post
      I'm reporting in.
      I feel horribly behind in all of this.

      What exactly should I be editing/Where do I go to find things to edit?
      Lol you're just fine Moosey. Work that needs editing will be posted in here after it's been approved for editing by the authors of whatever chapter(s) are active at this time.

      By active, I mean being written. Currently chapters 2 and 3 are being written and the authors of those chapters are ca1um132 and Naiya.

      If there are any tasks/work the Department Leader's in here (dreamingofdreaming and CoLd BlooDed) may need completed aside from the work being written, they'll say so in here or PM you.

      To the best of my knowledge, there currently isn't any work pending. But just to be sure, check with DoD and CB.

      p.s.: When Naiya and ca1um132 post the rough drafts of their chapters, there will be a lot more work in here to do.
      Last edited by Jeff777; 07-26-2009 at 09:32 PM.
      Things are not as they seem

    13. #63
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      Oh all righty. I was scared that there was a lot of work to do and I wasn't helping at all.

      Thanks Jeffy.

    14. #64
      of dreaming dreamingofdreaming's Avatar
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      ^ ^ Thanks again Moosey

      Hey all! It's been a slow week for this department as all our fabulous researchers and writers are scrambling their brains together to get some good drafts for us to look at... We should have stuff up shortly.

      Spoiler for A little side note:


      I hope to see the rest of the folks in this department checking in before the week is out!!!

      <3 dreamingofdreaming

    15. #65
      Member CoLd BlooDed's Avatar
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      Here.


      Starry starry night, paint your pallet blue and gray,
      Look out on a summers day,
      with eyes that know the darkness of my soul.


    16. #66
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      [[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[Editing Pending]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]


      Quote Originally Posted by Naiya View Post
      Here is part one of Chapter 3. I included two more references which will be at the bottom. Researchers, please fact check.

      I'll ask someone with time in Editing to take a look as this is still needs editing. Special thank you to Kromoh for allowing me to copy some of his work on the stages of sleep!



      The Science of Sleep and Dreaming (Tentative Title)

      Humanity has been dreaming since the beginning of our existence. Throughout history and all the ages, mystics, shamans, witch doctors, yogis and the like have attempted to understand sleep, dreams and their meanings.

      Nathaniel Kleitman was a professor who established the world's first sleep laboratory in 1925 at the University of Chicago. He and a graduate student by the name of Eugene Aserinsky can be considered the fathers of the study of sleep.

      After hours of watching subjects sleep, Kleitman and Aserinsky discovered REM sleep. With further study they were able to find that REM sleep coincided with the dream state, and so the physiology of sleep and dreams was finally given its first true foundations in science.

      Ever since their discovery, science has been able to uncover more about the stages of sleep and the nature of each stage.

      Measuring brain activity in a sleeping person, scientists discovered that sleep consists of repetitive cycles of brain activity, during which you go through every important part of sleep. These cycles have a duration of around 90 minutes, and change slightly depending on how long you have been sleeping for.

      The very first stage (N1) is not necessarily sleep, but rather a beginning to sleep. It is a transition from wakefulness to sleep, often referred to as somnolence. Slowly, brain activity lowers, and the brain enters the sleep process. This is the stage during which hypnic jerks occur.

      The following stage (N2) is responsible for around 50% of total sleep. Muscular activity lowers and consciousness of the external environment disappears.

      Stage N3 works primarily as a transition period from stage 2 to the deepest stage 4. This is the stage in which night terrors, bedwetting, sleepwalking and sleep-talking occur.

      Stage N4, together with stage N3, are considered to be what is called "deep sleep". Brain activity is the lowest, though it is lower on N4. They are considered to be essential for rest, and, together with REM (further below), will rebound in the next night if a person is deprived of them in one night of sleep. Also, trying to wake someone up during deep sleep can prove extremely difficult depending on the person.

      The final stage to mention is REM, or Rapid Eye Movement sleep. It is so called because of the rapid movements of the eyes during this phase. Mental activity raises and the brain behaves similar to that of a person who is meditating. For Lucid Dreaming, this is perhaps the most important sleep phase, as it is theorised that the majority of dreams occur during REM sleep. Furthermore, some neurotransmitters in the brain, such as seratonin, are completely shut down, thus inducing what is called sleep atonia (popularly named Sleep Paralysis), during which motor functions do not work. The person is rendered physically motionless, and based on that comes a possible explanation of what dreams are.


      This theory, given shape to by Dr. Stephen LaBerge, will be explained below.

      Our brain keeps an updated, functional image of our body at all times. This allows us, for example, to know where our arms are placed without actually having to look at them; and to guarantee better muscular coordination for the body. Due to sleep atonia which happens in our sleep, interestingly, even though the body image is still there, if you try to move, say, an arm, it will not move at all. But for the brain, it will be like it had moved. The brain will update the body image, believing the arm has been moved, when actually it has never left its original position. The effect of this is that we can actually "move" our body image, without really moving our physical bodies. Thanks to the highly hallucinogenic state REM sleep gets us in, the brain is then able to actually make up what it would be seeing instead of what it is actually seeing (the back of our eyelids). This is how dreams work: you are able to move your body image without actually moving your real body, and your characteristic, imaginative mind fills in the details.

      While we have begun to answer the question of how we sleep, unfortunately there are still no clear answers on why we sleep. It is known that REM sleep--or dreaming sleep--is necessary for our bodies and minds to function. Rest is not a substitute for sleep. Because of this, scientists suspect that there are things the mind needs from sleep such as brain development or memory. No theory as of yet has been stood up to the rigors of scientific review, so nothing has been proven, but researchers are still hopeful.


      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      http://www.uchospitals.edu/news/1999...-kleitman.html


      http://www.nytimes.com/2003/11/11/sc...-we-sleep.html


      The next part will be on the physiology of lucid dreaming. Should have it posted by tomorrow at the latest. Thanks!
      Things are not as they seem

    17. #67
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      Spoiler for Minor changes v.1.0:


      I want you fancy cats to go over this in case I've missed something or you feel that the flow could be better.

    18. #68
      Member CoLd BlooDed's Avatar
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      I will go over this thoroughly in the next couple days.


      Starry starry night, paint your pallet blue and gray,
      Look out on a summers day,
      with eyes that know the darkness of my soul.


    19. #69
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      Wah. Please don't flame me. I've expanded the text vertiginously. Also made a few correction for a better flowing style. Corrected some outdated information which was in the chapter I originally wrote, and finally, added stuff on the purpose of dreams.

      Spoiler for Expansion:


      Also, I wonder if we should do the editing on the actual thread of the chapter. This would be to avoid parallel works among the departments.

      Finally, we need images for this chapter, specifically about the sleep stages.
      Last edited by Kromoh; 08-05-2009 at 08:47 PM. Reason: typos
      ~Kromoh

      Saying quantum physics explains cognitive processes is just like saying geology explains jurisprudence.

    20. #70
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      Quote Originally Posted by Kromoh View Post
      Finally, we need images for this chapter, specifically about the sleep stages.
      What do you have in mind?

    21. #71
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      Not sure what exactly. That old graph showing the sleep stages during the night for sure (know what one?), but I can't think of what else. I don't know how far we'll be going with images, but a pic of a man sleeping and dreaming he is walking would be good to illustrate LaBerge's theory of dreams. There is also this graph showing how people that slept after learning something new memorized it better, dunno how hard it would be to find it.
      ~Kromoh

      Saying quantum physics explains cognitive processes is just like saying geology explains jurisprudence.

    22. #72
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      Quote Originally Posted by Anonymoose View Post
      I want you fancy cats to go over this in case I've missed something or you feel that the flow could be better.
      The lab was established in 1925 according to my source, but they did not discover REM sleep until 1953 if I remember right. I'll have to go back and mention the latter date to avoid confusion. Thanks for catching that.

    23. #73
      ヽ(ー`)ノ Tara's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Naiya View Post
      The lab was established in 1925 according to my source, but they did not discover REM sleep until 1953 if I remember right. I'll have to go back and mention the latter date to avoid confusion. Thanks for catching that.
      Ahhh I see. Yes that did confuse me. Thanks for clearing it up.

    24. #74
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      Quote Originally Posted by Kromoh View Post
      Wah. Please don't flame me. I've expanded the text vertiginously. Also made a few correction for a better flowing style. Corrected some outdated information which was in the chapter I originally wrote, and finally, added stuff on the purpose of dreams.

      Also, I wonder if we should do the editing on the actual thread of the chapter. This would be to avoid parallel works among the departments.

      Finally, we need images for this chapter, specifically about the sleep stages.
      Aww! You did a great job Kromoh! Thank you so much. I will definitely put your name down with mine for this chapter since you put so much work into it.

      There's another thing I have to fix in there, though, which is this:

      Quote Originally Posted by Naiya View Post
      The lab was established in 1925 according to my source, but they did not discover REM sleep until 1953 if I remember right. I'll have to go back and mention the latter date to avoid confusion. Thanks for catching that.
      When that's done I'll repost it in its own thread for more editing.

      Keep in mind this was the first draft and just the first part, so the rest will need editing when it's done.

    25. #75
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      Hey guys, more of Chapter 3 has been up for a while. Is there anyone willing to proofread it for me? Thanks.

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