dreams about rape won't go away?!

**princessXena** · 05-21-2013 06:16 PM

lately every single dream I've had has been about rape I've only ever experienced the rape in two dreams before but I've had many dreams where it was mentioned that I was raped by someone and then they start chasing me to try and rape me again
I've been raped many times before but the man who raped me in real life has only ever raped me once in my dreams.
before I was raped (in real life) I had dreams about being chased and the man who raped me (in real life who was a good friend) always saved me.
when I was little there used to be a child molester living a couple houses away and I was terrified of him. he was under house arrest so all he ever did was smile and wave at me but I've seen him in my dreams many times and I get the strangest feelings that I might have repressed memories
I don't know if these dreams of rape are trying to tell me something about my past
or if I only get them because I've been raped
but I'm deeply disturbed by these dreams can someone please give your opinion ?
oh and the rapist in my dreams are mostly just random people I know if that helps.

**JoannaB** · 05-21-2013 07:04 PM

If you have been raped in real life, then it makes sense for you to dream of being raped. It's on your mind, and it won't go away from your subconscious. Who rapes you in the dream does not really matter I think because most likely the nightmares are about rape in general, not about the specific dream character raping you.

Are you seeing a therapist / trauma counselor? Please keep in mind that advice over the Internet is not a good substitute for professional in person advice in such situations, and if you keep having these nightmares, it is likely that you need help from someone who is experienced in dealing with the trauma of rape.

Have you considered trying to learn lucid dreaming? It can be a very effective method of dealing with recurring nightmares, and since dreams of being raped among other issues are dreams of no being in control, perhaps if you learned to control your dreams and learned to become aware that it is a dream and thus cannot hurt you unlike real life rape, perhaps that would help?

All the best wishes of peace to you.

**gab** · 05-21-2013 08:29 PM

Sorry for your ordeal.

If you experience something in waking life that has a big impact on you, it will very likely reflect in your dreams. Especially something connected with such strong emotions. If you were as a child scared of the molester living nearby, it's understandable if it shows up in your dreams too.

I'm not gonna pretend I understand how you feel. It must be awfull. But sometimes people are able to change the ending of a nightmare. You can try to do that by thinking about it during day. When it comes to the bad part, think of a different ending. Like you are able to fight it off. This would possibly work the best, if you are feeling strong in waking life too.

But as JoannaB says, a therapist would be able to help the best. Good luck.

**blackbirdrising** · 05-21-2013 10:32 PM

Healing from the trauma after being raped is a process. You grieve the loss of innocence, the loss of your ability to trust, the loss of your ability to see the world through naive eyes. I've been raped too, so I know what that feels like. It's not only OK to be angry, and sad, and shocked, and numb, and have to rehash the details to wrap your mind around it - its GOOD to that. It means you are still human - you are still capable of loving and feeling, and caring, and you have a conscience that is wounded but not dead! LET THAT EMPOWER YOU- HE DID NOT KILL YOUR ABILITY TO LOVE. You could be seeing rape in your dreams (over and over with various people) because the feeling of being raped, being betrayed, hurts BEYOND the physical act of rape itself - if that says anything, because rape hurts worse than giving birth! You're in the process of trying to wrap your mind around WHY this happened to you- whether it was years ago, or once, or multiple times, its the pain of wanting to know why it happened so you can prevent it from happening again - YOU DID NOTHING to GET RAPED. LET THAT EMPOWER YOU, TOO.

You are very strong. Letting go is very hard to do. Moving past this CAN and WILL happen. You will find out the details about it you need to heal - ONLY that which will help you heal. If you find yourself reliving the moment, make SURE you are not alone, and that you are safe where ever you are. I'm praying for your mind to find peace so you can move past this horrible crime.

**JoannaB** · 05-21-2013 11:16 PM

Another thought: since waking life and dream life are related if you work on increasing self awareness during the day and concentrate on changing negative thoughts and feelings one moment at a time in waking life, this could help improve the chance that your dreams will become more positive. Note: it won't be easy given how much you have been through. There is also no guarantee that it will work: some of my worst nightmares ever happened after pleasant days. But it can't hurt to try that. The idea is to focus on the present as much as posible, and at least notice the negative thoughts and emotions, and understand the cause and effect, and whenever possible try to improve them.

This is still not a substitute for a real therapist, but some self improvement technique like that in waking life might improve your dream life hopefully even if just a bit. I hope this helps.