Healing from the trauma after being raped is a process. You grieve the loss of innocence, the loss of your ability to trust, the loss of your ability to see the world through naive eyes. I've been raped too, so I know what that feels like. It's not only OK to be angry, and sad, and shocked, and numb, and have to rehash the details to wrap your mind around it - its GOOD to that. It means you are still human - you are still capable of loving and feeling, and caring, and you have a conscience that is wounded but not dead! LET THAT EMPOWER YOU- HE DID NOT KILL YOUR ABILITY TO LOVE. You could be seeing rape in your dreams (over and over with various people) because the feeling of being raped, being betrayed, hurts BEYOND the physical act of rape itself - if that says anything, because rape hurts worse than giving birth! You're in the process of trying to wrap your mind around WHY this happened to you- whether it was years ago, or once, or multiple times, its the pain of wanting to know why it happened so you can prevent it from happening again - YOU DID NOTHING to GET RAPED. LET THAT EMPOWER YOU, TOO.

You are very strong. Letting go is very hard to do. Moving past this CAN and WILL happen. You will find out the details about it you need to heal - ONLY that which will help you heal. If you find yourself reliving the moment, make SURE you are not alone, and that you are safe where ever you are. I'm praying for your mind to find peace so you can move past this horrible crime.