Thread: What if they were right?

Scenario:

God comes to O'nus' doorstep:

God: "Yo O'nus"

O: "Oh shit, you're real"

God: "Yeah, now give me all your Alanis Morisette albums, biatch."

O: "Yessir, whatever you say sir.. I love you sir, please sir, do not punish me sir."

How could I not worship God if he were shown to be real?

...or do I sense a pascal's wager in disguise..?

~

Well now....

If the actual god of the bible showed up - as per o'nus' post - and said "hey dudes - yep im real - now bow down and get praying", then we would have no choice but to immediately form a resistance movement.

Lets not forget that god is a homicidal meglomaniac whose favorite hobby is genocide.

I think mankinds first priority would be finding a way to nuke/vape god. We could get someone cool to press the button and say something awesome like "Smite this fucktard!"

Failing this we should organise globally that every man, woman and child all simultaneously flip god the bird and tell him to fuck off.

Well, it depends really. If a god showed himself/herself, I might decide to worship him/her out of fear. I mean, if he/she was real, maybe heaven and hell was a plausible concept after all? I wouldn't want to end up in the wrong one, being forewarned. But would I "respect" and "love" such a god? I might, if he/she was a good being who only wished to help us, and didn't make ridiculous rules for one to follow. Though I'd certainly like some answers to why he/she chose to do things the way he/she did, and why he/she didn't show himself/herself before.

Originally Posted by imran_p

Quick question for the Atheists and "Agnostics" on the forum. What if the Christians were right, and the Bible is fact. Would it change your life at all? Would you worship? Would you go to church to pray?

then "I'll carve 'fancy that' on the side of my cock."

until then, I'll enjoy my hubris thank you very much.

Originally Posted by evildoctor

Well now....

If the actual god of the bible showed up - as per o'nus' post - and said "hey dudes - yep im real - now bow down and get praying", then we would have no choice but to immediately form a resistance movement.

Lets not forget that god is a homicidal meglomaniac whose favorite hobby is genocide.

I think mankinds first priority would be finding a way to nuke/vape god. We could get someone cool to press the button and say something awesome like "Smite this fucktard!"

Failing this we should organise globally that every man, woman and child all simultaneously flip god the bird and tell him to fuck off.

I'm sorry but this post and your belief in Hedonism reek of immaturity. Although you may not like this god (I don't like it much myself for that matter) if it arrived before you and made clear it's exsistence, your telling me your reaction would be pure spite and contempt? If such a being were to appear do you not understand that it would be the gateway to all knowledge in the universe? That it's arrival would herald a time of unprecedented peace and prosperity for mankind (Depending on it's personality of course)? That at the very least, contact with an entity of such raw power (if not extremely painful) would be like an unending high?

With the arrival of such a god, are spieces would be irrivocably changed!

I'd try really hard not to think about how big of an asshole he is, and I'd go to church as often as possible.

I don't understand. I can't twist my morals into something different. If god was real, I'd be destined to hell because of what I think of him. What's the point of worshiping him then? That's like lying while you know nobody is buying it, a.k.a self delusion. Well, you might succeed in brainwashing yourself and ending up in heaven, but I don't think I've got it in me. Not to mention the existential nightmare I'd be having.

Originally Posted by Bonsay

I don't understand. I can't twist my morals into something different. If god was real, I'd be destined to hell because of what I think of him. What's the point of worshiping him then? That's like lying while you know nobody is buying it, a.k.a self delusion. Well, you might succeed in brainwashing yourself and ending up in heaven, but I don't think I've got it in me. Not to mention the existential nightmare I'd be having.

That is very true, but when it comes down to it, I think I'd rather brainwash myself into becoming a fundamentalist than go to hell, assuming that hell as awful as the fundies describe it as.

But then again, I don't know if I could live with myself for doing that. It completely contradicts my moral standing as of now.

It's an interesting predicament, to say the least.

I would ask him where the fuck he got off playing toy soldiers with real people!
If he wanted someone to worship him he's got the fucking angels, and why give us free will and then punish us because we use it.... I would seriously ask him if the bible was written by his commands alone or if it was altered... if the first were true i'd facepalm and walk away in shame, and if the second were true i'd ask him his true desires of us... If they were related to the bible i would again facepalm, but if they were more intelligent and mature desires and understanding was his main basis for them. I believe i could handle "thanking him" but i'm not bowing down to anybody. I have free will damnit! take that from me and then i'll bow.

No I wouldn't worship a being that deserves contempt for what can only be described as evil actions.

And why bother going to church to praise him? Fuck that. If I was a god, I definitely wouldn't be an egotistical bastard and demand people bow down to me. Making me better than 99% of gods out there.

I would start going to church again for jesus, seeing as hes the one who will save me, not god (although he and god are the same apparently). because according to gods own rules, if I accept jesus, I go to heavan, so I just accept jesus and then keep living my life.

Originally Posted by Lucid_boy

I'm sorry but this post and your belief in Hedonism reek of immaturity. Although you may not like this god (I don't like it much myself for that matter) if it arrived before you and made clear it's exsistence, your telling me your reaction would be pure spite and contempt? If such a being were to appear do you not understand that it would be the gateway to all knowledge in the universe? That it's arrival would herald a time of unprecedented peace and prosperity for mankind (Depending on it's personality of course)? That at the very least, contact with an entity of such raw power (if not extremely painful) would be like an unending high?

With the arrival of such a god, are spieces would be irrivocably changed!

DO give me a break!!!

Now go down the rest of the thread and see how many others feel that contempt hits the spot nicely! At least I didnt threaten to carve anything into the side of my cock! (although I might next time as this was very funny......... - or maybe I will just use a sharpie as im allergic to dick pain)!

That it's arrival would herald a time of unprecedented peace and prosperity for mankind (Depending on it's personality of course)?

Hmmmmmm - I think his personality is pretty well documented. Or did you skip over all the genocide, ethnic cleansing, mass rape, smiting and general douche-baggery when you read the bible? I somehow doubt he would be handing out ferraris and Ipads for all with a wink, smile and a gentle pat on the butt.

I assume you want my honest answer and not my resentful and cynical answer. The truth is that I would be more terrified than ever before, and I would worship him on the spot and ask him what I can do to make up for what he thinks I have done wrong and what I need to do to be right in the future. I mean, he would be infinitely powerful. You can't take that on. The idea is completely absurd. Resistance would be 100% futile. I am not burning forever and ever and ever and ever just so I can know I stood up to God one time. Eternal torture is out of the question.

I saw a stand up comedian in Memphis one time, and he said something I thought was hilarious. He said Satan's attitude is, "God is infinitely powerful. He knows everything. He is everywhere... I think I can take him."

If the Bible were fact, I'd have significant moral objections to God.

Considering his actions I'd go so far as to say humanity has developed far more sophisticated morality than he has.


Edit: In hindsight, if the Bible was fact then there would be so many logical contradictions which are fact that the fabric of reality would probably just call it a day, under the weight of it all.

Originally Posted by Universal Mind

I assume you want my honest answer and not my resentful and cynical answer. The truth is that I would be more terrified than ever before, and I would worship him on the spot and ask him what I can do to make up for what he thinks I have done wrong and what I need to do to be right in the future. I mean, he would be infinitely powerful. You can't take that on. The idea is completely absurd. Resistance would be 100% futile. I am not burning forever and ever and ever and ever just so I can know I stood up to God one time. Eternal torture is out of the question.

I saw a stand up comedian in Memphis one time, and he said something I thought was hilarious. He said Satan's attitude is, "God is infinitely powerful. He knows everything. He is everywhere... I think I can take him."

This. Eternal suffering isn't worth a couple of years being a hipster nonconformist.

Originally Posted by Black_Eagle

This. Eternal suffering isn't worth a couple of years being a hipster nonconformist.

Agreed.

Although, I have to say if the Almighty showed up on my doorstep the first thing I'd probably have to do is change my pants. I'm sure He doesn't want to be smelling that.

Fuck God. I'd sooner scour the Bible for any and every loophole than drop to my knees before that sadistic lunatic. Accept Jesus? Sure. Worship the dude that wipes out innocent people by the millions? Hell no.

...of course, I only say all of this because there is an infinitely small chance that the Judeo-Christian God of the Bible is real, and THAT is a risk I am willing to take. In reality, who knows what the hell I'd do?

If the Christian god was real, I would obviously worship him. I don't wanna spend all of eternity in a volcanic geiser being raped by a guy with a pitch fork and horns.

But at the same time, i would wonder what kind of sick fuck god and jesus are. Denying humans entry into heaven simply for not telapathically telling him that he is awesome and that he is the greatest shit since sliced bread.

What kind of sick fuck would deny a good moral person entry into heaven based on the fact he never telapathically told him "dude you are the shit" before every meal and bed time?

I've heard the arguements from Christians about this before, but the truth is it makes no fucken difference if you ask for forgivness and thank him endlessly, that doesn't change your character. A person who leads a good moral life is still better than a Child Rapist who repents at the last minute by asking jesus for forgiveness and telling him how fucken awesome he is.

Pardon my spelling and grammatically errors, my keyboard is kindah fucking up on me right now.

Would it change my life at all? Hell yes. It would change the very fabric of reality, flattening it into a three-act play with all of the evident...I don't know what to call it but 'soul'...washed out as stage dressing. It would turn the world four-color if not monochromatic, the whole natural world being dismissed in the face of a single strand of human history (God only knows which precise strand since the Council of Nicaea and the subsequent reformation) devoted to a rather petty and poorly explicated drama.

If the endlessly vibrant and inchoate reality we inhabit were reduced to such a caricature of itself, I would no doubt be shitting myself dry with however many dimensions my bowels had left to them.

Originally Posted by Lucid_boy

If such a being were to appear do you not understand that it would be the gateway to all knowledge in the universe?

Is this the same god who put a Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil in the garden with a DO NOT TOUCH sign on it? If he's the gateway to knowledge then I'm afraid the gate is locked.

Originally Posted by Lucid_boy

With the arrival of such a god, are spieces would be irrivocably changed!

Doubtless. The return of the prodigal deadbeat dad. Where ya been all this time dude?

What would I do if god appeared on my doorstep? A reality check!!

I would tell him how much of a dick and how illogical he is, see if I can reason with him. I'm destined to hell anyways.

I would worship unquestionably, just long enough to get into heaven. Then I'd be off the hook, free to despise him and even undermine his authority if any chance for that surfaced.

Originally Posted by Scatterbrain

I would worship unquestionably, just long enough to get into heaven. Then I'd be off the hook, free to despise him and even undermine his authority if any chance surfaced.

I'm pretty sure once we make it to heaven we're set, because by that point we'll be all irrationally infatuated with god and Jesus, so it will be fun for us.

I don't think many would be unable to look past god's egomania and crazy morals.