Thread: This has to be the most hilarious essay in the history of education

LMAO hahahaha

He even managed to pass!

That's the funniest thing I've see all week...

LMFAO! My God.

That was...there isn't even a sufficient enough word to describe the hilarity of that shit.

Oh My Sweet God, That is one of the funniest things ever.

Brilliant! That was great, thanks for the link...

Originally Posted by Spartiate

He even managed to pass!

That's the funniest saddest thing I've see all week...

That's just wrong. I'll bet that guy's father is a figure of authority at the college or something. This is how we get incompetent douchebags like Bush in high-up places.

It might be funnier if it was clever, but it was mostly random blather interspersed with expletives.

Omggggg!!!! What kind of pussy of a teacher actually gave him a passing grade??!?!

Originally Posted by thegnome54

It might be funnier if it was clever, but it was mostly random blather interspersed with expletives.

I think the comedy is more in the idea that he actually turned that in, and that it was "seriously" graded, than the content, itself.

True dat, true dat.

Originally Posted by Oneironaut

I think the comedy is more in the idea that he actually turned that in, and that it was "seriously" graded, than the content, itself.

That's what's sad, to me. Perhaps only because I am myself still worming my way through the education system, and I know many people who have to work hard for their grades.

At the risk of sounding uptight, this is just slightly disturbing for some reason. The teacher obviously had to go through it and had to give him a passing grade because of some corrupt political reasons. I guess it's hard to watch the edges of the system the first twenty years (or more) of your life go into rotting away. The same system which happens to be responsible for keeping our society from the ever-looming threat of mass ignorance.

I know I might seem to be blowing this out of proportion, but it's more what this represents than what this particular example contains. I know that most colleges accept a fair amount of students because of connections, and this too adds to my sensitivity. A lot of worthy students get turned down because of dicks like this guy, who don't even appreciate their education.

/rant

Word. I hear that.^
*nods nods*

Originally Posted by thegnome54

rant

Such is life! Now take a deep breath and put that smile back on your face.

Wonderful, blissful to read

To be fair, I've done my share of stupid essays. When I moved to my new school, they made me take a freshman earth science class (instead of AP Physics). I was understandably irritated, and when it came time to do a "research project", I wrote a ridiculous essay about corn milling. I've pasted an excerpt for anyone who wants a taste.

Spoiler for Excerpt from essay:

Many people in today’s society wonder how they will mill their corn in this brave new age rife with machinery and manufacturing plants. This is a dilemma which has perplexed generations of scientists and farmers alike...
I have a plan of action that we could take to reduce the trouble we go through to grind our corn. It involves manpower. Manpower has shown to be extremely inefficient in most cases, with some suggesting that as much as 60% of a human’s energy is used exclusively for remembering to breathe. However, most studies done in this area are unreliable and have questionable scientific merit. Despite the extreme inefficiency of manpower, we do have a lot of it. With the rates of unemployment rising every day and the need for ground corn keeping pace, this could be the ultimate solution to our corn-related problems. If we could amass a few million unemployed persons and create a corn milling plant in some remote area of the world, like France, we could conceivably turn over all corn milling duties to this plant. Factoring in minimum wage for all involved and daily transportation to and from this plant, we would only need to spend thirty or forty billion dollars a year in order to mill all the corn we could possibly desire. The transportation involved would even create more jobs, which would in turn add back into the economy. This solution could potentially spawn millions of job opportunities, be cheaper than our current system, and make France even smaller than it currently is.

I got a 98.

Wow if you guys actually bought that you're pretty damn gullible. The teacher can't even spell "too" correctly? It's obviously fake. Faker than the 2 girls 1 cup essay, which is actually alot more clever...

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/e...4173508ib6.jpg

Originally Posted by Aquanina

Wow if you guys actually bought that you're pretty damn gullible. The teacher can't even spell "too" correctly? It's obviously fake. Faker than the 2 girls 1 cup essay, which is actually alot more clever...

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/e...4173508ib6.jpg

It "could" be real, but then again even if it's not it's still funny as hell. Also, very nice 2 girls 1 cup essay.

Originally Posted by thegnome54

That's just wrong. I'll bet that guy's father is a figure of authority at the college or something. This is how we get incompetent douchebags like Bush in high-up places.

It might be funnier if it was clever, but it was mostly random blather interspersed with expletives.

Always something positive from thegnome... >.>

OMG, 2Girls1Cup...defies words. I never knew a pornographic film could be broken down intellectually.

Originally Posted by Kushna Mufeed

Always something positive from thegnome... >.>

Well, that's ironic.

Just expressing my opinion. I tried to explain as best I could, oh well.

That just made my day! And I though I could make a worse essay (real or not)! The whole thing is riddled with stupidity and has a random feel to it, kind of like The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny.

Man, 2Girls1Cup....that's just wrong. 'Nuff said.

err, thegnome, who the hell says this was a college paper? Probably some middle school...

That's what I thought it was when I read it. I somehow can't see how someone who wrote this was ever able to get into college. Then again, maybe it's one them bribing type things that gnome was talking about.

Originally Posted by Aquanina

Wow if you guys actually bought that you're pretty damn gullible. The teacher can't even spell "too" correctly? It's obviously fake.

Yeah, because teachers never ever make spelling errors. Obviously.

Originally Posted by thegnome54

That's just wrong. I'll bet that guy's father is a figure of authority at the college or something. This is how we get incompetent douchebags like Bush in high-up places.

It might be funnier if it was clever, but it was mostly random blather interspersed with expletives.

Bush isn't my president = funny

Oh, and I've done my fair share of weird papers like yours, just not nearly as vulgar as this one... My end of year English written exam from two years ago was a battle plan for the invasion of New Zealand.

Originally Posted by Aquanina

Wow if you guys actually bought that you're pretty damn gullible. The teacher can't even spell "too" correctly? It's obviously fake. Faker than the 2 girls 1 cup essay, which is actually alot more clever...

http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/e...4173508ib6.jpg

I've frequently corrected my language teachers... In any case, bursting bubbles is wrong !